CSA should be on the dad’s side for once

April 30, 2015

I contacted csa recently and then upon this they sent me a decision by post to say that nothings changed, this I do not agree with, what a load of rubbish.

Its seems as though they do not believe me. I have my daughter as much if not more than her Mother and I work. Csa should open their eyes and be on the dads side for once, they can phone her as many times as they like and she will tell them lies. because they’ve been in touch see keeps my daughter away from me and then when she realises her money hasn’t changed shes on the phone to me to say I can see her again, I am not making this up, what a joke!!!

I go onto their website calculator and it says I should be paying £11.00 per week. I pay more than this so whats going wrong. They can stick by their decision for all I care but I would like to make them aware that in this case and probably a lot more cases were dads do care they are WRONG!

I work she sits at home all day, can’t even be bothered to take my child to nursery, that’s what I am up against every day, pecks my head. and they award her for this, pathetic!

Can I be made to pay more for a foreign family?

April 30, 2015

I’m a British soldier who served in Germany, I married a German and had two children. We separated and I have now moved back to the UK.

I am paying her 400 pounds per month which Is as per the csa calculator. I am constantly getting letters from her solicitor saying it is not enough. They want to to pay online with the German System.

Can they make me pay more? If anything at all?

I’m moving abroad to avoid CSA

April 30, 2015

After working 4 weeks overseas 28/28 days rotation I return home to be the dutiful husband and father to my beautiful 11 yr old daughter and my adopted 4 yr old son. Just before my return home on Thursday was facetimed by my wife informing me she was dreading me coming home as she needs time to herself to see if she wants to spend the rest of her life together, this was supposed to bra trial separation.

I came home early on compassionate leave to be there but when I got home she ssidicoukd stay one night as she was going out to her friends to allow me to see the kids. Next day I said will move to a flat we own to give her time as some of her friends were telling me to give her room.

The following week she told me she wanted a divorce but still would come on holiday the next day. After a few days in Tenerife and after her constantly on her phone texting my daughter heard her on the phone at 1am to a male neighbour,confronted her telling her I suspect she was having an affair but she denied all I then told her technology was a brilliant thing as I said I cloned her phone because I suspected her infidelity. Again she denied all. Cut the holiday short and resumed the flat arrangement.

Next day went round to the house and discovered shed changed the locks, she went ballistic I held on to a key so called the police. They took my side and said she cannot change the locks in a co- owned home. Then the truth came out that she was in fact seeing the neighbour for the last 3 weeks. She had the cheek to say that I could move back in as she was moving across the road to be closer to the kids. Told her to stay put as I was seeking legal rights. Solicitors can get blind sided as all they wanted to do is the half all assets and be done with it.

She is entitled by law to half my pension I’ve had for 30 years, half a life time of savings, half all the ISAs half the cars etc while I have to pay £2000 p/ month child care, £2000 alimony p/month while moving in with the sh*t across the road.

I work overseas in Azerbaijan and have asked my company which is not UK based for a residential role this would keep CSA at bay. I don’t had this confirmed by the solicitor as it was not made clear I can do this last week as they just want to tie up loose ends. Azerbaijan do not have a reciprocal agreement with UK so I’m not liable but if I do this she’ll just say I can never see the kids again when I return within the 92 days a year I can.

As you can tell I’m flippin fizzing at all this and still she lands up smelling of roses so I want her to suffer and doing the residential thing gets back at her ……… Welcome any comments.

I demand an explanation from CSA

April 29, 2015

Csa have taken a extra £200 out of my wage as well as the £330. I need to be informed this week at the earliest as I want it back as I havent had any notice which is illegal.

I have a sheet planning out this years payements, next month I am only paying £ 200 if this comes to much more I will make sure they dont get any more payements. I want a explanation.

Why must I pay back the money I was owed?

April 29, 2015

Hi there I am looking for advice. In 2009 the visa became involved in my case. My kids dad had started working 8 months before + had been paying me £20 a week. The csa done a calculation + decided as he was earning a good amount he was to pay £80 every week.

He decided to pay me direct however as he hadn’t been paying the correct amount they would collect the arrears of over £2000 + pay them to me. I received these payments until the arrears were paid off.

Yesterday I received a letter telling me I’d been overpaid. Guess how much, yes it’s the arrears they have collected! I phoned them but it was like banging my head against a wall. They said that yes he was due me this money but as he pays me direct I should have arranged to collect the arrears from him.

I explained they had sent me a letter stating they were going to collect arrears. I was told that I shouldn’t have received this letter! They now want me to pay this back to them, then they will give it back to him + I have to arrange to get my arrears from him. I hope someone can help. I’m worried sick about this. Luckily I have kept all correspondence from them. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

Has anyone taken the CSA to court before?

April 29, 2015

I’m raising a group of those badly treated and failed by the former CSA.

I intend to take a ‘class action’ against the CSA and need those who no longer pay because the children are adults(NRP)or parents who did not receive monies(failure to collect or inappropriate figures.

I also need to know if anyone has taken the former CSA to court?

Close to eviction due to CSA demands

April 28, 2015

I split with my ex when my son was around 3 years old. From then up to the age of around 18 years old my son has always been with either myself or my family. When he was 15 years old my ex called me one day to say she was moving away and he was all mine. I got us somewhere to live and was looking forward to the two of us living together. A few weeks later I got a letter from the csa to say I owed my ex partner £11000 of arrears. They are now taking a huge amount of my very low income leaving us to struggle with household bills.

I am very close to an eviction notice and my council Tax has bounced numerous times amongst other bills. I have put a claim in against her as he lives with me but I get nothing. I have made so many calls to them over the last 2 years it has cost me a lot of money and can no longer affor to chase them anymore. I am at my wits end at the moment and do not have a clue where to turn or what to do next.


I can’t believe what they’ve just told me!

April 28, 2015

I can not believe what I have just been advised that the CSA are refusing to gain further information of my ex partner with lifestyle inconsistent with declared income, because I have not supplied any evidence to support my application? I have in fact provided a credit file with proof that my ex partner is driving a new porshe and has loans higher than his allenged income. How come that once again my children will suffer due to little or no money and nobody will help me?

I so hate these arrogant people

April 28, 2015

Really need advice.

I have been separated from my kids dad for 12 years. In November 2008 he started a new job + decided he would pay me £20 a week for his 2 daughters. Out of the blue I received a letter from the CSA July 2009 stating they were looking into my case. They asked for details of the payments I had received from him which I gave them. I eventually received a letter back stating that his payments should be £80 a week due to his high earnings. In this letter they stated as he hadn’t been paying the correct amount for the last 8 months that he had arrears of over £2000 but it was up to me to collect this! However 2 days after this letter I received another letter stating that he should continue to pay me my weekly maintenance direct but they were now going to retrieve the arrears from him monthly + pass it on to me. I received monthly payments for the next year until all the arrears had been paid.

Since then I have had no dealings with them. On returning home from work on Thursday there was a letter from the csa stating that they had overpaid me by, yes you’ve guessed it the £2000 arrears they had collected from him all those years ago!! I phoned them straight away but was told that unfortunately my case worker (didn’t know I had 1!) wasn’t there at the moment but the lady I spoke to said I would receive a call back. I received a call back the next morning from a very arrogant, rude csa advisor! Luckily I had kept all the correspondence I had received from them, which I don’t think she was impressed about. She stated that as he was paying me direct that they should never have got involved in retrieving the arrears from him. She said that they sent me a letter saying it was up to me to get these from him. I confirmed that yes I had received this letter, however 2 days after that I had received another letter stating that they would now collect the arrears + transfer them to me.

Her reply to this was that it was a mistake + that I should never have been sent the letter. I asked what they wanted me to do + get this, they want me to pay them back then they will give it back to him + I’ve to come to an agreement with him to get the arrears back from him!! So in other words they want me to give them money which he will have to give me back!! Does this make sense to anyone?? If he’s due me the arrears any way what is the point in this?! It was like banging my head against a wall trying to talk to this advisor! She kept saying that yes he was due these arrears as he had been underpaying me for all those months but now they wanted it back + I could make an arrangement with him to get the arrears!! This makes no sense to me at all. She also breached their confidentiality rule by telling me my ex partner has another child that he’s paying for – surely this is a breach of confidentiality? She also stated on the phone that the over payment was £2600 which is more than the letter stated! I don’t have a good relationship with my ex partner, in fact is quite volatile.

If the csa hadn’t assessed him in 2009 he would still be giving me the bare minimum for his kids! I have found out thru his parents that the letter he received from them stated that he’d overpaid me by £1250 so that’s 3 different amounts!! What the hells going on! I am now worried sick about this in case he stops the maintenance payments. The csa have screwed up yet again. I was entitled to those payments as he had been under paying me for 8 months so know I’m not in the wrong. I’m beginning to think that they may have my case + his other 1 mixed up as when I made the initial phone call on Thursday, the person I spoke to said that there was a different name on the screen she was looking at (she was looking at copy of letter I’d received) – however the arrogant b#tch I spoke to on Friday denied this was the case + basically accused me of lying!! What can I do? Phoning them doesn’t resolve anything. I’m at a loss what to do so any advice would be greatly appreciated. I so hate these people!!! Thanks in advance for any help you can offer.

Can they just dip into my bank account whenever they like?

April 27, 2015

Hi, I left my childrens mum in 2002 when our youngest son (lets call him Mason) was just a few months old.

Basically their mum was not very supportive or faithful. I paid CSA at the time and then was made redundant – yes, the CSA loved calling me a lot at that time.

I was expected to pay disproportionately considering I’d lost my job, yet had to fight to obtain parental responsibility – a fight that would not have took place these days. Anyway, the mother and I reached an agreement where I’d pay her directly, which was always cash since I saw her regularly at handovers – she also finally agreed to give me parental responsibility (awww, I should be so grateful she acknowledged me as their Dad outside of the CSA!).

I decided to become self employed and working from home meant I could see the kids a lot more. They started staying with me half the week and we mutually decided that CSA should be stopped as we shared the care. That was 13 years ago in 2002.

Since then, the children continued to live with me and my then wife half the week until 2007 when I was awarded full custody. To cut a long story short, the mother could not cope and GAVE UP the kids every summer holiday for the FULL 6 weeks and barely saw them. My eldest son (lets call him Alan) has special needs (behavioural) and the can’t cope “yellow card” I fully understand but not when it’s syncronous to holidays and not when the “cant cope” card is magically withdrawn at the end of the 6 weeks and she expected to have Mason and Alan back each cycle. Not being much of a doormat I took her to court and was awarded full custody only now she decided she’d see them only 1 night and day a week.

The CSA involved themselves briefly until I informed them we reached a mutual agreement between ourselves
– having been on the receiving end of CSA’s HARRASSMENT when I was made redundant it was not something I would wish on their mum.
Despite the agreement it never lasted she stopped contributing to their upkeep but always took them on days out when she had them and occasionally a holiday which I guess I should be grateful for – I certainly didn’t want to cause stress of hardship by going back to CSA.

Five years passed and in in 2012, I split from my wife and took it pretty hard. I moved 350 miles away to the North of England to be near my own family as I had no family in the south. Alan’s special behavioural needs means he is a handful to say the least and having been expelled from mainstream and every suitable school in the south (including the very specialist schools) it was a welcome fresh start for us all. She continued to pay nothing toward their upkeep.

Needless to say, the children hated the north – they did however get used to it in time – they saw their mum 3 or 4 times a year and she took them on holiday which I suppose overall was brilliant, but still non contributory to their upkeep – on balance I let it go, not wanting to involve CSA.

Despite our differences (some major) we always held it together for the sake of the children and we always maintained communications. In 2013, my eldest son wanted to live with his mum – he missed the south and his brother also wanted to go as he missed friends and mums side of the family also – I understood but was naturally a little heartbroken. So, off they went and to replace them the CSA exploded back into my life… hurrah! Living with Mum lasted 6 months until she could not cope again…. she wanted to give them up AGAIN but this time, only Alan and not Mason. I basically said no – I didn’t want the boys split up – I was split from my own brother growing up and didn’t want that for them.

Things esculated and she sent Alan packing to his Grannys – when Granny couldnt cope she sent him to Aunties who ultimately could not cope either (I mentioned he cant behave and has special needs right?) I paid maintainence via CSA during this time however, because I said NO to having just ONE of them back, she got shitty and we fell out big time. Admittedly, but maybe natural, I was very annoyed as she knew historically she wouldnt be able to cope and I felt my family had been split up and horribly affected for little reason – disrupting schools and routines and causing measurable upset and upheaval for all involved – we argued and name called – not pretty.

Next thing I know the CSA want a HUGE chunk of money for the period 2002 to 2005 – A time when I paid her directly and we had a mutual agreement – turns out CSA was never really stopped for that period at all, just “paused” or some other bullshit.

Anyway, I then get a call saying she will give him up to social services if I don’t take him and she begged me to take him and said she’d call of the CSA for the “arrears?” so I agreed; I was sad that the boys are apart but I was glad on another level.

The CSA still keep coming for thousands in arrears – she never did anything about it and they continually harrass me for money I do not owe – since I paid cash between 2002-05 it basically never happened. I agreed to pay them ongoing CSA maintainance but not arrears as they were disputed.

Anyway, fast forward a year to 2014. Alan… long story, but due to Alan’s extreme behaviour and my reaction to an incident where I was the target he is now in foster care and we rarely speak. I’m so cross with him and relationships are hugely affected. I don’t miss the constant police visits; I don’t miss the unsavoury characters at the door; money and property no longer goes missing; I’m not sure, but in my now early 40’s I think I’m finally getting what other people call a life.

The sad thing is, for many many years, Alan has proved over and over again that he CAN behave, IF he wants to! He’s now 16 is on first name terms with half the local police force – he’s always present wherever trouble is and I miss him terribly, but am glad he’s not living here now – I heard all too often the “im 16 soon and I’ll do what the hell I want” – I get letters from his school every week about exclusions and the fact he is not expelled entirely is an enigma as much as the lad himself. I feel sorry for him… his mum pushed him from pillar to post all his life and the one person who never once gave up on him ultimately did – I basically refused to have him back. Becoming 16 was just an “anything goes” license and I’m not up to it. Bad dad?

Anyway, getting back on point the CSA helped themselves to £2000 on the back of an already set up direct debit to them for “ongoing” monthly charges for Mason.
I complained to the bank and the bank reversed the payment. I continue to REFUSE to pay the arreas because I’ve done way more than my financial share for my children and refuse to pay twice.

How I wish I kept CSA involved and fully updated at every step throughout their entire lives and actually persued what the law said I was entitled to – had I done that then things would at least *seem* more equal but I’m not like that – I’m proud I’m not, but I’m cross too because I now need to pay thousands I should not have to pay whilst their Mum gets to laugh her way to the bank.

I find this all highly unfair; that in their lives it has been me who has shouldered the biggest financial burden which was done entirely for the sake of my children; I’ve never really pressed their mum for money as I believe this also benefits the children as Mum can afford to do more when she has contact and is not stressed and burdened by the HORRIBLE CSA. Thats my detriment, my cross to bear – nice guys finish last!!

Kindness is clearly a weakness to be fully exploited by those without conscience or morals.

Now I am really deeply pissed off, upset and worried. On friday, the CSA dipped into my bank and removed £500 from a long term savings account marked “holiday” and a further £1000 from my second account marked “rent”.

My main account is overdrawn to the tune of £450. I don’t think I have any recourse and it’s pitiful to say that I am now having anxiety palpitations.

I took myself off to hospital thinking I was having a heart attack. I won’t get a holiday this year and maybe not even next year – I will struggle to pay rent and bills for several months, struggle to live – thank you CSA!

What can I do? Can they dip into my bank any time they like? The bank said they can’t do anything this time. I’ve had no letters of earning attachments or bank action, no bailiffs, just a BIG hole in my bank, leaving me £450 overdrawn – how can they do that.

Any advice gratefully received.


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