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CSA Advice

Wife has affair, I have to pay for it

3 January 2011 by Paul Needham

Every time time i speak to the csa, all i get is quote “not our problem” unquote. I’ve two children, boy aged 3 and daughter aged 9. In April of 2009, i found out my partner of 11 years was having an affair. I left the family home, car, bank accounts. Basically i left everything except a few clothes, on the condition (her idea not mine) that she wouldn’t go to the csa and she would give me time to get my life sorted.

(oh by the way my ex earns over £Fifty Thousand per year) csa don’t take this into account. In august 2009 i received a letter from the csa, saying i had to pay £38 per week for my daughter. I rang them and explained that i was on job-seekers. 2 weeks later i received a letter from the csa saying that, because i was unemployed that i owned nothing, and had to pay nothing.

In april 2010 i started a new job. In june 2010, my wage clerk rang me and explained that the csa as asked for my employer to send 5 weeks worth of pay slips, which they did. Every Friday i take home £254. I’m single and live in a shared 2 bedroom flat. My rent is £80 a week, payed every Friday, my gas is £10 per week, my electric is £10 per week, my water is £10 per week, my council tax is £15 per week, and tv license is £3.25p a week.

I do not own a car so i have to use public transport to get to work, this is 2 buses which cost £8.50 stagecoach mega rider, and £9.50 for east riding coach. Also my children live in Nottingham and i live in east hull. I was traveling every 2 weeks by train to see my kids, which cost around £54 every 2 weeks. The csa now say i have to pay per week £38.50 for my daughter and £17.50 for my son per week, total £51 per week plus £50 per week for the arrears.

The csa now take from my wages 40% which is £102 per week, they say i owe over £1000 in areas. ill break this down for you, so total weekly pay is £254, my bills are as follows-

csa 40% £102
rent £80
elec £10
gas £10
c.tax £15
bus £18
tv £3.50
total £238.50

This leaves me a total of £15.50 per week for food. I cant afford to see my children anymore, iv not seen them now for over 9 weeks. I’ve spoke to the csa about 8 times now, all i hear is, not our problem, can u make a payment today to clear the arrears?

My bank account is £100 overdrawn (which the csa know) I’ve been to the citizens advise, twice, they give me a forum to fill in claiming hardmanship the first time, i filled this in and sent copys of all my bills and rent to the csa, they claim that they have not received this and explained that i wouldn’t get hardmanship anyway because I’m single and living without any children.

The second c.a.b visit, they advised me to give up work, i’ve spoken to a solicitor, who as advised me to write to my local m.p and local news papers, other than that, he said their isn’t anything that can be done. I’m not eating or sleeping, i feel my life is over, i cant live like this any more, i feel iv no choice but to end my life.

I cant see any other way out, i just don’t know what to do any more, i just dont understand how a human can be treated like this in today’s society. I doubt anyone can feed a family pet for £15 aweek nowwa days.

Oh, also another thing the csa wont take into account is that if i take time off work i dont get payed. I took time off for a funeral (one day) my week take home that week was £209, and i also took 2 days off for flu which weekly take home was £164, and also the company i work for have a summer 3 weeks shut down, in july. I only accumulated 4 days holiday pay for these 3 weeks off.

Also what know one seems to understand is if i give up my job, by given notice i cant receive any benefits for 13 weeks, i cant pay rent which in turn will make me homeless.

I really don’t know what to do and how much longer i can do this for, i really only see one way out which is just to stop all this suffering and end my life, the question i’d like answered is the initials C.S stand for child support?

How is me being either forced out of work or ending my life support my children?

Thank you for taken time to read this.

228 thoughts on “Wife has affair, I have to pay for it”

  1. Well said Jody, SJP appears to have a conflict in her own comments evidently, and she creates that conflict by her own comments!!!!

  2. jody,yes they do.but not all do it 2 try nd destroy their,ex,i no there r some.but there are some pwc,men or woman who reach desperation nd just need the childs father just to help out abit with wot te child needs.

  3. He works away a lot – up to a year at a time and didnt think it fair to come in and out of our daughters life. At no point have I ever stopped him if he wanted to see her, but its his choice and I fully understand his reasons, altho I find it very sad. She does have a good realationship with his parents tho and some other members of his family. The reason I 'liked' this page is because when my ex first went to the CSA we had massive problems with them and I have 10 years experience in dealing with their mistakes. I feel I can offer advice to those who have been in a similar situation.Allan, I havent even bothered reading your comment. Its probably full of your usual crap!

  4. allan,how do u think ur children wud feel hearing u say there mothers r of no importance.just because they r exes doesnt mean u have 2 be vile nd nasty with each other.yes i no it does happen but not always.

  5. CSA get involved because the PWC requests it…. the CSA are only making applications because the PWC instructed it to do so….The CSA are terrorists, but it is the PWC who makes the command and therefore the PWC is as guilty of terrorism and 61 to date cases of manslaughter evident to the public eye!!!!!It is the PWC who uses the CSA for revenge and it's all about revenge and personal desire to destroy NRP for revenge, no thoughts as to how this affect the child of cause!!!!It's about the selfishness of the PWC that becomes forefront of PWC intentions…. it's about her desire, her needs, her veangence, her greed and arrogantly holding her head up high in front of her peers instead of providing love, understanding and compassion as a lesson for the children to learn to live accordingly instead of selfish hatred and arrogance!!!!I hope SJP doesnt try to make out she is a christian, As I see, no way have any of SJP's comments presented any christian values whatsoever!!!!!SJP, if you celebrated Xmas, what was yourreason???? what did you understand from such a festival???? Oh I see…. its about what presents/gift she could GET!!!!!!!!!

  6. I think you are all missing the point here……you have totally disrespected the OP here to have a petty argument between yourselves!!! Was this group not put here to help each other…..rather than slag each off?

  7. Nice one Allan well said – it is not worth getting into a bun fight with the likes of SJP yer wasting ur breath – she is another vindictive PWC.SJP most of us on here have no problem supporting our children – but why should we be raped financially? especially when the PWC is being difficult about letting us see the kids. Tell me why we should pay a penny for the child if we are not able to see them they do not see the money??? when the woman is doing it because she is an evil vindictive bitch – take those blinkers off smell the coffee and wake up pet!!!! I would suggest a coupon system so that the PWC cant spend what is not for them nuff said

  9. Helen what would you do??? Lie and take it??? My husbands ex is one evil bitch, greedy and gets a kick out of it all. As alot PWC do. GREED GOLD DIGGERS…That is what the judge called alot of you in here. GREED…

  10. Helen, I am sure the PWC has commented worse than I have ever attempted, their mothers are unimportant to ME, not to the children!!! I know the attitudes of my PWC's, 1 learning to be reasonable and another 2 that need to learn to stop being so selfish,… the very reasons for which we parted….My eldest knows how important he is to me, he tells me what his mother has to sayh about me…. I respond, Now you understand why we had to part…. he also understands as he now suffers her attitude that she intenly provided to myself before split!!!!!

  11. Yep there are a load of PWC's out there who use the CSA as a tool to fuck over the NRP that is FACT!!!!

  12. At the end of the day Helen you would not lay down and take the shit we get…So why the hell do you think we should?

  13. Charmaine Leworthy why do I have to see your ugly face on here again…Fat bear…Hubby said you are like a bit of dog shit, you know the bit that will not get off….

  14. Clearly evident …….. a FACT!!!Gold digging selfish arrogant greedy PWC's use the CSA for revenge and ultimately satisfaction of greed, how would the children feel if they knew the PWC had every intention to destroy the NRP financially and emotionally.Come the day when the child knows the truth about the PWC who used CSA in veangence against the NRP……. PWC will fall to their knees and you will hear the wailings and the gnashings of their teeth as the child favours the NRP!!!!!

  15. That is a really good idea Craig…the coupon system…My husband pays through the CSA purely because his ex wanted more money…they must have some evil about them to go through the CSA in the first place, if it was me I would avoid them like the plague as they are bloody useless anyway. Something isnt right somewhere when the PWC that doesnt have a job yet can go on holiday every year in school holiday season with 2 children. We on the other hand are a working family and are lucky to have a UK holiday..There are some very bitter, twisted people on this blog thats for sure!!!! 🙁

  17. Craig, It would be so ignorant of me to ignore SJP's comments and feel she does rightly deserve a response, whether my reponse be offensive to her or not is not the issue… I am always prepared to provide an answer to a question or respond to any attempt to personally insult myself….In now way do I feel offended by her comments or insults, but I do feel she needs a response as that is her desire, she needs to be noticed and I will pamper those needs…. If I have to insult her, I shall.. if she wishes conflict. I'm prepared to respond in any manner she desires!!!!! Who am I to withhold her selfish needs…lol…I'm just an NRP with a difference in opinion and I will allow her to realise her own foolishness!!!!!!

  18. PEOPLE SJP has been accused in the past of being a csa employee !Her comments today merely confirm she is !Her comment about terminal illness shows that she is in the same SUB-HUMAN class at that other employee Jamie Smith who also want's every NRP dead !SJP has obviously been planted on this site to cause division as we are a massive threat to them !PLEASE everyone DO NOT respond to SJP merely ignore her hatred and bile and she will eventually FUCK OFF !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  19. Dolphin, dont be bothered by charmaines appearance, she obviously needs to be noticed…. I understand about the dog mess that doesnt come off so easily!!!! It will always stay there.. but its the smell thats the most offensive rather than the appearance lol……

  20. allan,so ur a complete angel then.dolphin,no i dont expect u 2 just lie back n take it.thats why ur goin 2 court.good luck.dont think wot u said about charmaine wos called for.we all hav our problems,why b so vicous with each other.

  21. Its the goading of SJP that I enjoy….. she is aware that I gain pleasure in conflict with herself… but she still feels the need to pamper to my needs…. so I will return the favour for her likewise…. no worries, I got this… As much as the CSA employees in Dudley…More names here of Dudley ofice employees as follows…..Sijea Vi, Jaz Singh, Claire Jennings… unfortunately, Cheryl was unwilling to divulge her surname and ther is also Sue Hill!!!!

  22. Helen, I would not describe myself as an angel and would never ever want to be considered as such, I have reputation to maintain and such view of being angelic would be destructive to my reputation!!!

  23. Now Jem they don't want NRP dead.. They can't claim then. What will they feather their banks with then? No they want them to suffer. And take all away. Evil bitch they are…Not fit to be called human…

  24. OMG Allan pack it in man I have nearly pee'd myself with laughter you are effin mint mate!!!!! LOL

  25. Would love to stay and play but things to do! Be nice to one another!

  26. PMSL – I have a 5 week old baby so am currently on maternity leave. When working I am a employee benefit consultant. Wish I did work for the CSA tho – there are a few of you on here that I would ensure got royally screwed!

  28. Jem keep those CSA employees names coming mate copy some of their posts and we can send them off to our MP's also it will make good content for my Name and Shame site (O: lets also get photos of these nasty parasites too

  29. I was merely asking if he had signed over his rights to the house legally because if he hadn't he should see a solicitor straight away and get his entitled share because she has not kept her part of the arrangement, I was not delving! I don't support women who do what this one has, nor women that contact the CSA despite private agreements being in place and upheld purely to gain more money. Nor do I support women that accept money from the fathers of their children and use it for their own ends, neglecting their Childs needs.The other comment was actually a compliment, I find your contribution to the debates very interesting and the fashion in which you shape them very entertaining and helps to take the sting out of what is a very hurtful and emotional subject whilst getting across valid points.Can I just repeat for anyone that hasn't grasped it, I did not contact the CSA, i amInvolved as involuntary as you and a lot of other people on this site. I was happy with the private agreement my ex and I had, he was the one who contacted them with the purpose of manipulating his income to reduce his support for his child to the bare minimum, it backfired on him. If he knocked my door tomorrow and said he wanted to go back to a private I would not hesitate to agree. This is not a man living on the breadline and struggling to make ends meet, he owns two houses, holidays abroad several times a year and has no other children to support, he spends more in drugs and alcohol on a weekend than most of you earn in a week!!His motivation for not contributing is GREED, my motivation for running with the ball he brought into play is ensuring my daughter has the best life possible and I won't apologize to anyone for that. His contribution to her would pay for her first car and insurance, university, traveling the world or her first house deposit, all the things that I can't afford to give her because my money is spent providing for her daily needs. She would know that despite her father preferring to get off his face with his mates on a weekend than take her to the park he still cared enough about her to make sure she had a good start in adult life.

  30. SJP, so you are promoting and supportive to the attempted theft and fraudulence currently committed by CSA??????As for getting royally screwed…. looks like you feel you have been!!!!

  33. It has to be the baby blues……….. poor woman doesnt seem to be handling herself very well, oh well, she'll be shafted by the rabbit gang I guess…..I am under the impression that the rabbit wont have to pay maintenance!!!!! but it will have to suffer from being inserted into a smelly dank cave though!!!!

  34. SJP has evidently under her own steam proved what a prize twat she is, although I pity the child having such an example of a mother who chooses to be so emotionally disturbed by my opinions!!!!!

  36. Helen, I also have noticed my reputation on here, I provide it, however! there are PWC's who have attempted to discredit my reputation but have never provided evidence to support any allegations and accusations that they use in attempt to discredit my reputation….Still I await with great anticipation for the evidence to be presented but unfortunately for those who attempt as such…..presentation of such supportive evidence will never happen!!!!There could only be one reason for that….. NO evidence, so ask yaself why there is no evidence… Is that solely because the comments that were made were untrue????As for reputation, I have a reputation for being sweet, but I can be just as vile when I need to be!!!!!

  37. SJP clearly identifies herself in the same league as that of Jamie Smith…..She's so Vain…. I'll bet she thinks this comment's about her!! She's so vaaaaaaaaiiiin!!! I'll bet she thinks evrything is about her!!!!!

  38. SJP, have you had Bill and Teds great adventure on repeat or summat, Be nice with one another, how Bodacious!!!!!!

  41. yes….. Jamie Smith is a CSA employee who wants NRPs to get dressed up in mask and Capes and wishes we to jump off very tall buildings to see how clever we are then!!!!

  43. get a copy of that post mate all theses hideous posts by the vindictive ones it will be good for my name and shame site (O: send me the link for that post we also need to send some of the comments to MPs

  45. Craig, I have a long listing of CSAhell posts… you are able 2 access all my links by connecting to my profile!!!!

  46. there are plenty of entertaining arguments between myself and a number of selfish greedy arrogant PWC, feel free to enjoy!

  48. hello – can we skip to the important part of this note? This man feels it would possibly be better if he was dead. I get that, I really do. I lost my job and my daughter sued me. My wife was near hysterics and I felt terrible every second of every day. Please listen – no matter what if you are dead there is no chance for things to get better. I can't promise you it will get better – men seem to have a bad lot – but i can promise you that you have no chance if you are not here. Don't give up on yourself.

  50. Does anyone no where to get the explosives which they use in quarries? I think I need some, it's for a good cause.Falkirk Headquarters.

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