Why are we paying CSA when my kids get next to nothing?

let me start by saying the original CSA must have been the idear of a bitter ex wife, who thinks that the father dosent have the right to a new life or new family, and the new CSA are ignorant crooks who pull figures out there ass.

I,m sure anyone reading this will have guessed by now that i am the NRP new wife and mother to his other 3 children, well i say new wife we,ve been married 8 years.

let me tell you my story – the CSA affects the lives of everyone involved with it.

when i met my husband he was a young corpral in the army, he was paying his ex wife £500 per month, yes you saw that right £500 per month for 1 child, after the marrage ended becouse she had an affair, not only did she leave my husband in all the debt they had together but not being happy with that she took him straight to the csa after deciding that the £200 per month he was handing her every month wasnt enough on top of all the debt he took on they both accumalated together aswell.

by the time the csa sorted out the claim he was now liable for over £2000 worth of areas even though my husband never stopped paying her every month the £200, they said he should of been paying £500 so slammed him for back dated areas.

I met my husband a few years later in this time his ex wife had shacked up with somone else had another baby, claiming as a single parent and enjoying her boyfreinds wage on top of all the other benifits she was reaping off the goverment. when we got married and had our first child the CSA was recalculated and wow they deducted a woping £9 per week, £36 per month, you can imagin out outrage we felt, they think that the non resident child should receive £500 and allow my daughter £9 per week, I wanted to grass her to the social of course but my husband wouldnt as he said it would effect his son ( thats how much of a caring father my husband has always been) we struggled for a few years when she let it slip that her and her boyfriend had gone lagit and were now on family credit, when my husband had asked if she wasnt on income support where was all the csa payments going she acted dumb,, we looked into it and found out that she was getting that handed straight to her.

my husband then asked her if we could come to a private agreement to pay less as we were struggling, she laughed down the phone and said there was nothing we could do about it and slammed the phone down and hung up every time after that. to cut a very long story short my husband was put in touch with a reitired colnol who dealt with this sort of thing as forces personel were getting hammered for csa payments, he had the authority to stop the csa taking the amount and changed it to £250 this was the old system where they took 30% of your wages. for once we had the upper hand with her and i dont care it felt good.

a few years later we ended up getting a residency order to take my stepson as she wasnt fit to look after him, we have had him now for 4 years and in that time she hasnt even bought him so much as a pair of socks, and although she never worked she still had money for plenty booze fags and nights out.

thankfully she has completley sorted herself out and may now be in a position for my step son to be reunited with her, but! and heres the but, we looked into how much CSA we would be in for if we went down that road and based on my husbands wages and 3 other children they want us to pay £250 a month, if we had the money i would be more than happy to pay that kids cost money after all, but they will not take into account that we have a massive morgage and 2 home improvment loans these were taken out while we had my stepson living with us, plus we had another 2 children, regardless of what they acount for or not these payments still have to be paid, we pure and simple dont have the money to pay that amount. The CSA need to get a grip and be realistic about what people can and cant afford.

My husband has always supported his son, for those people who keep producing kids and letting the goverment pay for them then the child support agency is a fantastic thing but when it can be used as a wepon to penalise somone for moving on and having a new family then it needs to be be re thought, We are not information on a peice of paper called case files, we are real people and real families, ex wifes should contribute to the childs up bringing aswell even though they live with the child, becouse it really seems the CSA are are an opportunity to live off your ex, £500 per month for one child, we were keeping his child, his ex wife, her boyfriend and there child for that, while they allowed me the price of a pack of nappies every week for mine come on how fair is that !!

i appolagise to those parents who struggle with idiot fathers who take off and forget all about the children they already have, this is not a rant at you guys, but i,m a mother too with 3 young children who are directly effected by what the csa say you can afford, we would lose our house and default on loans, where the hell would that leave us, i,ll tell you where living off the goverment too in the end!!

thanks for reading some will relate to me some will want tyo send me hate mail lol but we all have our stories