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Rebecca,
So if we are talking halves, can us men have the child related benefits taken into account? we dont get to claim them towards the up keep of CSA payments, little calculation to see how we compare as PWC and NRP with the NRP working and earning £30k and the PWC on income support due to being a lazy cow.
PWC – on benefits
Child Tax Credits: 59.36 Weeky
Income Support: 67.50 Weekly
Council tax Benefit (band A): £18.74
Housing Benefit: 75 Weekly
Child Benefit: 20.30
CSA: 66
total: 306.90 PER WEEK tax free.
£16000 A Year for doing nothing put pop a kid out, to earn that as an employee you would need to earn atleast £20000 before tax and then travel expenses for work, car etc etc.
Andy well said, but you will have to wait till the hard bitch has had a think on what you have put
All this discussion and argument has made me feel sick.
By chance, this appeared on my homepage and I decided to click on it, as my family struggles as my dad refuses to pay us any money, but expects to turn up and have all the fun aspects of life, yet none of the responsibilities.
I am 15, and I have not had a good relationship with my dad since I was 11 when him and my mum split up, and I had to watch her cry almost every night. No doubt my dad was unhappy too, but over time he’s become more and more bitter, provokes my mum by filming her if she tries to disagree, brings my little brother home late to see how far he can push her.
I loved both my parents,and although you may think I am biased as I live with my mum, I can honestly say that she cares a lot more about me, my little brother, and our family.
My dad chooses not to see me, or ask to see me, as he is very controlling and knows that he cannot manipulate me anymore. I have tried to get along with him, but he doesn’t know me anymore. In this mess of a divorce he’s missed my brother and I growing up, which is very sad, but he has only himself to blame.
Now I try to keep him out of my life as much as possible, especially since he is only interested in my brother, and it’s easier to be a happy functional family without him.
I am sorry to all the people who have divorced, I can’t even imagine how hard it must be, but I strongly believe that, although specific circumstances can change things, everyone must try to make it easier for their children, and just take a step back and look at the situation without all the bitterness and hate and do your best to carry on.
I also believe that although the benefits system can always be criticized, CSA is there to help your children, and above all, show you are still there for them and will do whatever it takes, so if you can, pay it. I’d respect my dad a lot more if he did, especially as he does work, and buys a new wii game every week, which shows just how fucked up his priorities are.
I have grown up without my dad, and now I’m most scared of turning out as selfish as him. Please don’t let that happen to your kids.
And grow up, half of you obviously don’t know how to spell or how to get your opinion across without swearing and being insulting, I’m 15, and I assume that most of you are adults with children, so you should act like it.
I can say as a woman who lives with a NRP – we don’t have any children of our own – but I have seen my partner go through hell and like many others on here cannot see his children because the ex has put many barriers in the way. He gave her the house because she g-teed they would remain in the area, which she then sold saying she couldn’t afford it and moved, he pays his maintenance through the CSA – that was his choice to go for the CSA as the ex was bleeding us dry with her attitude of “i can’t afford to live on anything less than……”. I don’t begrudge anyone money don’t get me wrong. But she didn’t need the money she just didn’t want to compromise her high end lifestyle – although my partner and I had to (moving 4 times to be able to afford the bills – no extra luxuries) and eventually my partner was declared bankrupt due to the amount of stuff that was taken on during the divorce to make the ex and children comfortable. But when a scorned woman or man for that matter I guess, gives over a petulant childish look when you tell them you can’t afford your rent & tells you “tough you will have to move” and uses the children at every turn as weapons but still manages to have 3 or 4 holidays (foreign) per year, then the CSA was the only choice. I have to be honest the CSA have been really good in being fair, maybe we are an exception to the rule?. Although I do have an objection to the justice system – as contact orders etc are bloomin useless and more needs to be done to be able to enforce them without costing more and more money – children need both parents but thats just my opinion – I can see why men get so frustrated with things.
In an ideal world, children created by two parents should be supported and nurtured by two parents. There are many ways to avoid paying child support if you are self-employed, I know because that is what the father of my four children has managed to do for the last 9 years.
I am currently working with my M.P. to make deliberate non-payment/avoidance of child maintenance a criminal rather than civil offence. This is an attempt to cut down the number of children who are growing up in poverty which is detrimental to many aspects of their lives.
I am fed up with winning my tribunals and having liability orders against HIM that CMEC cannot enforce. I know I am only one of thousands of PWCs who is constantly let down by the pathetic system we have currently in place to deal with these “deadbeat NRPs” . The law has to change.
If anyone wishes to add their comments to our campaign, please leave a message on this site and it will be considered in the forthcoming debate.
Thank you!!
Rose you have some good points but can i just point out at the end of your comment its not about who can spell and all of us react different, we sometimes say things on impulse and it dosent always come out on here as you can read it wrong,
Now as a child i really can appreciate how you feel i went thru it with my eldest daughter who was 14 at the time, i couldnt see it at first how much she was hurting and couldnt understand why her mum and me had split when things to her seemed ok, now as a father i tried to hide what was going on but shes a very intelligent girl,
Your father seems a waste of time and i dont like saying that because hes your flesh and blood,
The CSA are responsible for many peoples reactions, the issues were always about money and not how both mum and dad and the children were affected,
Like most things in life if it dosent involve money then things dont matter, my kids can have anything and has much as i can give them, but it aint about them things with me its about my kids loving me for me and me for them,
To much is based on the finance of things because thats how society has become, your life my kids the mother and dads life have no value, authorities that are dictated to by goverment have the upper hand at no matter what cost,
I hope in time as you grow and go out into the big wide world things will seem so much clearer , most of us dont choose this path, shit happens,
Alison if your other half is self employed its rubbish they cant get hold of him, if hes declaring his earning thru the tax office they shud be able to get him, if hes not registered then hes commiting fraud, im self employed and pay for my children, if you say about the law changing then believe me it wont make a difference because the NRP will just go on the dole to avoid paying, its a fairer system that needs to be applied,
In most cases the CSA will make it hard for the NRP which is unfair if hes a decent bloke, the NRP deserves a life to in an ideal world, as iv said before its all about money and not the devastating effect it has on all parties involved,
Again i stress in my previous comments my ex goes abroad twice a year , my kids want for nothing, they have a good home to live in which i handed over as they deserve that, after 6 years i still dont have a home, iv lived with friends, family members and even in the back of my van, is that justice, i dont think so, dosent matter whos fault it was for the split, most decent men get the rough end of the stick, those who dont pay deserve all they get,
Rebecca – unfortunately not every mother is like you, or Ash or myself and my partner & wishing to spend every penny on the children – some ex partners just wish to see their ex with nothing and have the children dangled in front of them as some sort of vindictive weapon. I saw and experienced it first hand – my partners ex who now doesn’t even allow contact for her own selfish reasons – even though there is a court order for contact in place – the ex and childrens mother has violated it.
my partner and I went to court to ensure contact (my partner was only give 4 weeks in total over a 52 week year how disgraceful is that) – this cost money we couldn’t afford due to my partners bankruptcy – then if one side doesn’t honour the contact order – you can enforce it – again more money into the legal system – which we couldn’t afford, if that order is violated – what choice are you left with? putting a mother or father into prison – How many parents could look their own children in the face and say I put mummy/daddy in prison becuse they wouldn’t let me see you? – you wouldn’t do that (unless there was extreme circumstances) no matter how hard faced or bitter you are – so the PWC (normally the mothers) generally wins when it comes to access with the children
Lets be fair – there are parents who will give anything to see their children and pay every penny but when there is a split/divorce – what gives a woman the right to dangle the children and use them as a weapon against their father or vice versa? I personally disagree with grown adults doing this to their own flesh and blood who they “love unconditionally” and this justice system including the CSA for some people needs a radical over haul for all concerned – when a couple split -they both deserve to be able to move on and have another attempt at happiness and still play an important role in their childs lives – but that takes 2 ADULTS to put aside their own feelings of bitterness/resentment and concentrate on whats best for the children and not themselves.
Hi Ash thanks for your comments!
My Ex has been self-employed and is not registered with the tax office. He HAS gone onto unemployment benefit DESPITE running his business and DESPITE having received an inheritance of over £100,000 (which would make him ineligible for any benefits). The tribunals have always ruled in my favour and have imposed an income on him becasue he refuses to comply with them when they ask for his bank records, receipts, invoices, proof of benefits etc so an accurate assessment of his income cannot be made. The bailiffs have done all their calls to his property to recover goods but have never been successful. He does not respond or comply with any directions either from the tribunals or the CSA. It is these deliberate avoiders that should be subject to criminal proceedings not the average self-employed fathers who are unable to pay and who work with the CSA and Tribunals. So I whole-heartedly apologise to you and all you other sel-employed NRPs who are doing your bit. In case we are into naming and shaming these deadbeats, my children’s father is MICHAEL THOMAS CRAIG who lives in Sidcup, Kent and runs a catering business called THE HOGFATHER
Alison hes a scumbag, if he has recieved an inheritance and thinks the money is more important than his on flesh and blood he aint worth shit,
Its a shame in your case that the athorities cant get him because if they can take £5.00 a week out of someone whos on job seekers there is deff something wrong in the system,
Trouble with bailiffs unless they have a warrant and acompanied by the police they stand no chance of working out a settlement or a payment for the support of your children,
Naming and shaming is a good thing in your case and other cases with those fathers who refuse thier duty as a father,
I hope you keep up your fight and in your case id be sure to let your children know everything they need to know,
Not a nice thing to do but fathers like him deserve nothing but bad things in thier life,again children are the ones that suffer long term, and as iv said before all cases and circumstancies should be looked at on an individual bases.
Im not a believer that if you earn £1000.00 a month then someone else earns £400.00 a month they should pay similar amounts for either 1 child or 3 ,
I earn roughly £800.00 a month and pay £132.00 a month for 3 children, now i think iv got off lightly , but saying that with what i have to pay out as a self employed person i still cannot afford to rent or even consider buying a place, the buisness has no up or down proffit margins, thats basically my earnings before deductions,
For a 1 bed flat where i live is £72 a week then theres the rest that goes with it, council tax, utilities, food, out of all that comes the running of my van, wear and tear which all vehicles accur,
So thats a rough guide to what i have to pay out, out of £200 a week theres not a lot left but i pay,
So Micheal Thomas Craig your a scumbag
my husband left me three years ago i work to support my children one of them whome he sees twice a month (his choice) all he has to pay is 27 pound a week ..my argument is he cant even be bothered to pay it three times csa complience officers have been to his work issuing necessary procedures 3 times he has ignored them …he works his new gf gets benefits because their on the fiddle ..this being my reason for being so bitter ..they can sit in a pub every weekend rather than getting his priorities right …prison??? i wish …best place for him
Why would prison be the best place for him, firstly it would cost me the tax payer to keep him there untill hes done his time, secondly if he is or was working he wont be until he comes out, if he goes on the dole i,ll be paying his job seekers until he finds work, its a vicious circle,
Can i just add to my above comment,
S Langford, what has his gf got to do with anything, your dispute is with him, she shouldnt have no say or rights in what goes on between you both,
I had this when i re-married and i told the CSA dont even go there with my new wife, my kids , my ex lets deal with that, Why is it fair that a new wife or husband foot the cost of someone elses children,
Right my fella is paying csa and the women uses the child against him. BUT we still pay. the amount she gets is completely wrong and the child doesnt see a penny. We struggle to have food in the cupboards and pay our bills. we are in dept up to the eye balls and when we have the child we have to buy everything ourself because she wont even send up clothes etc. Luckily we have his parents who help us and i have to work 3 jobs as well as juggling uni and he works all the hours god sends.
In some way the csa shouldnt give direct money they should take the money and put them into tokens for what the child needs instead. and why does it have to be 20% of the wage? doesnt all children cost around the same in england because if they need special items or anything its all on the NHS ( her mum is a dole dosser who trapped my partner on a one night stand)
I dont think you should ever stop paying because it works in your favour when the child grows up and sees her mum for the real person she is. a money grabbing b***tch. We are even now considering going court and going for shared custody.
So flint you are wrong in trying to stop paying because if you want to know your child when he/she is older then let her make the decision. it shows you did everything you could.
Good comments Kim,
My 18 year old still dosent have anything to do woth me 6 years down the line, if the mother poisends them then you have no chance,
My 10 year old dosent even respond to me , she hides behind her mother everytime i go and see her, my lad is 15 hes coming around slowly but sure,
The man will always be branded the bastard in it all, the CSA are in the womans favour everytime, if you are considering going to court with it all just remeber it will cost you as they dont give you legal aid,
The CSA have you by the short and curlies as the saying goes,
What gets me is why the new woman in the mans life is penalised to, you earn as well as your fella you pay, its so wrong,
Thank you.
If the mother does what you said at least the child cant say you never tried. if you get me. We’ve seen an solicitor and if we decide to go ahead they will do an eligibly form to see if we do qualify for free legal action, because the laws changed where men have equal rights as women the dads can now apply for free legal action as long as they don’t own a house or earn to much etc.. Same with women now a days too.
Also if you are on the new scheme they don’t take the partners income any more just the NRP’s income which is lucky for us as we earn so little.
I just find it unfair how the child is not even seeing a penny of the money yet we pay loads. on his wage alone its 141 a month, (this is quite low against some peoples but alot to us) We contacted the csa because originally she wanted £250 a month plus half of everything she bought!!
If we go court we are going for shared custody.
I think the way women treat men by using the children is terrible. we cant afford to have the child unless she sends up nappies and milk etc yet she keeps demanding he buys his own. so he did and a couple of days later she didnt have any so he sent his down so the child didnt go without and now shes sayign he needs to buy more cause she refuses to send any up. she wont even send clothes up luckily my mum has a little girl and has given us all her old toys and clothes etc. Im sure if we are paying out csa she has to send milk and nappies and clothes up unless we have her over night. Could you enlighten this?
Just seen that rebeccas comments! how pathetic!
I have paid out my spare money i use to spend to treat myself or go out with friends buying toys etc (cheaply and second hand) but still!, and to top it off my partners baby was a mistake from a one night stand he had just after he broke up with his ex of four years. plus gas electric water and food is the mothers part if they have them full time. if you cant afford to pay then give the child to the dad. and you pay csa??
I understand that in some cases men are nobs and dont want to know their children hence my own dad and dont pay a penny and thats when i think csa should really be used unless you see no other option like myself and my partner.
but then women out there are out for the money to have nice things.
Some people make me sooo mad i hate the world we live in where its all about money and not about the children.
I was recently taken to Magistrates court recently where the judge promptly took my driving license for two years (unless I pay up sooner… Damn blackmail)
This is for arrears for my two boys now aged 17 and 13.
What they choose to ignore at this point was two key facts.
1. I am now a father of 5 (3 step kids aged, 19,17(disabled) and 13, and 2 kids with my wife aged 3 and 2 (we’ve been married for almost 7 years))
2. As a self-employed man I needed my license to be able to work to support my family, taking it has made things incredibly difficult and in all fairness I’ve on the verge of claiming benefits.
Today I received a letter from the court telling me I am unable to appeal, but if I make arrangements to pay I can ask the court to return my license (most likely subject to me keeping to those arranged payments) This process the letter explains carries a fee also.
The system is a joke, Now I’m no saint there is a reason for these arrears.
So a little back story.
I split from my ex back in 2000 (not my fault, she slept with someone else)
And ever since I’ve had 8 years of fighting for access with the courts ordering her to make access happen and her breaching those orders and where I tried to enforce them the judges would only give a slap on the wrist even though breach of a court order can carry a committal sentence…
When access was working I would see the kids once a week and they would stay over every other weekend. During the peaks I would buy anything they needed she only had to ask.
The last time I saw my boys was exactly 1 week before the birth of there brother whom they have never seen.
At the court trying to enforce the order cafcass finally got involved, I thought this would be a good thing as I had a good relationship with my kids (I still talk to my eldest via msn even to this day) But no cafcass where a waste of time, The letters covering the interviews with the kids read word for word the same like it was what they were told to say, Cafcass failed to see the manipulation and it was decreed that they didn’t want to see me and my fight was over.
My dealings with the csa has been around me avoiding paying them. Quite simply not because I didn’t want to support my children but because the money doesn’t actually go to the children.
I would be happier to support my children in the best way possible by seeing them regular, and buying things when there with my and when they need them.
The support of a child system should be simple if a relationship ends then each parent gets the child/children 6 months each, if one parent wants less time then they pay money accordingly to address the balance if (usually the mother) stops contact then they forgo the money too.
Kids need there parents BOTH of them more than they need some stupid agency forcing the NRP and kids into poverty when the PWC doesn’t get anything.
Even though my circumstances have changed many times I’ve not been reassessed for 6 years. The system stands that if your working and earning 130 per week they can’t touch your money due to protected earnings yet you can still accrue a debt on whatever assessment they work out, yet if you sign on they can take some of your money???
The system is broken and heavy handed, I’ve been left with feelings of total dispair, if it was not for my kids now I would have nothing to live for.
I’m now unable to properly support my current family and would love nothing more but to see my boys and support them in the best way I can, with love and a real father who wants to be there.
The only good to come from all the time I’ve spent in court was I got my parental responsibility (meant alot to me but never really meant anything to my case)
Hi Kim,
Kim if you do get legal aid thats a turn around from what iv come accross,
I tried loads of solicitors and they all said no legal aid is available,
Now as for buying stuff, if you pay the CSA the man does not have to buy the child anything as the money going to his ex is what its all for, i do believe if he gets joint custody then hes liable as the CSA amount is reduced.
Kim iv said it time and time again, most and i do stress most woman i have come accross will despise the man she had kids with just to make his life so hard, plus use thier kids against him, im still getting it now after 6 years, my youngest does not even respond to me, my lad hes getting better, my eldest once said to me, dad i cant wait till you die so i can dance on your grave, so wheres all that come from, if i was a bad father and husband why was i with thier mother for 19 years,
O and that Rebecca comment is total bollocks, she really hasnt done her homework, well she has to suit herself
My aunty is in the same boat as you ash, her partners children won’t speak to him because their mum has changed their numbers and everything.
Csa have worked for them though, she made a claim and got someone to pretend to be him, she managed to get his year before p60 and sent it off. Little did she know he’s wage change a considerate amount to almost double. Csa sent a letter saying he had back pay ECT but he took her to court cause he had receipts for everything he had paid in the past 300 a month plus half of everything so back pay was qaushed. Now she receives £215 a month and that’s it.
Is their any information anywhere about the PWC sending items to NRP when only having them for a few hours at a tome? Now we are paying csa we can’t afford to buy things like we have been doing and she said unless she sees some proof she won’t send items
Kim i dont think PWC have to send anything if they dont want to, its down to the NRP to supply if she or he feels to, like i said if he has his children twice a week or more stop over then CSA payments are reduced to her, again the CSA does not recognise or give a shit how the NRP manages or even survives, money again is the issue and not the feeling of the NRP or the children if it comes to it,
The PWC always gets the benefits even down to child benefit and what ever else she can get her hands on,
Now i know it sounds like im grilling the PWC but im not, its so unfair that they can use the children as a weapon to get to the NRP,
We dont live in a democratic society where fair is fair,
If the PWC allows the NRP to have joint custody, (and i say allow which is wrong) then benefits should also be taken into account ,
As i see it since 1992 when the CSA was created nothing has changed, pay or face the concequencies,
Happy mothers day to all you nasty woman who use your kids to get to thier fathers,
i understand wat your trying to say and all that but when you have children you cant just look out for number one which is yourself cos you also have children you need to look out for them to,
Have you trried comming to an agreement with your ex so you dnt av to go thru the csa,
if not the i believe you should support your kids as well as be there for them and see them regulary as they need both parents. i have 3 chidren my eldest has a different dad, and the way we do things is that he sees the regulary and he pays for the stuff she needs when she in his care and i take care if things when she with me he also helps towards her hobbies and a very exspensive clothing taste and school trips and all that, as for my younger 2 there dad gives me 150 quid a month to help towards them and when he has them i send the things they need to him he has to fund food.
but guys you do need to support ya kids as they are yours to,
if you do have to go down the csa route comply with them and they will help you to pay the minnium so you are still able to live to,
but if you think that 5 quid a week is enuff to support ya kids a week is enuff you be very much mistaken, 20 quid a month dnt get ya far i dnt no.and please guys when you look after your children it isnt babysitting its taking care of your kids, hope you get this all sorted very soon with as little stress as possible
To the above,
Good points but theres so many points you are missing,
Im just gonna say a few abouyt mine,
I gave up an £140000 house to my ex and for my kids, they deserve that much,
After 6 years i still have no place to call my own because of being on a low income,
Try sleeping in the back of a van at -6 deg and see how you feel,
Iv come to an agreement now with the CSA and after all thats taken each month theres hardly anything left to support myself and i am entitled to have a life too,
My kids can have and get what they want from me but a little something back like them calling me thier dad and respecting me and not just wanting to see me when money is mentioned is no joke as a father,
And lets just say about supporting your kids, in most cases iv come accross the father is left with nothing to be able to support his kids let alone himself,
Now not all men are selfish look after nu 1 bastards but there are a lot only because the system has made it that way,
Do more homework on this debate then u you might just see it for how it really is, remember all cases are different but always leads to one thing , finance,
Ash you have commented on what I have said in the past and not agreed with what I’ve said. However, I will agree with you that you have clearly had a different experience to me probably hence why you have been quite nasty in your remarks. Understandably, if you have actually given your ex a house thats worth that much I dont think you should have to pay csa in my own opinion and if I was her I wouldn’t ask.
My ex would never have left me with a house, in fact when he left all he could think about was the T.V. One of the only things we bought together. He sneakily said im going to get some of my stuff and when I wasn’t looking he took it. I didnt care, he could have had it, it was the way in which he did it that I found very sly. There was no guilt at all for all the hell he dragged us through.
I have a little baby, and i do stay at home looking after him. I do have a degree so will be working in the next couple of years.
The problem I face at the moment though is when people say well they get money from benefiits. Benefits dont give you enough to live on, considering the price of rent is so rediculous. I’ve looked at housing associations for now so that we can afford to live, however the only places for housing is mainly in the shameless type places and you get the odd few in nice areas so they can look fair on their surveys. So I had to choose, shameless type place OR living in a better area, but not being able to afford decent food, clothing etc etc.
If I move to a shameless type area, my childrens father will call me a dosser. My children will be in the catchment area for the bad schools and will more likely mix with the naughty kids. Of course, I chose the location and now we are living off, as a family of three, £100 a week for food and clothing, thats including maintenance. I struggled to buy my son his first shoes and i found that very upsetting!
Believe me I did not want to end up in this situation. I had money in my bank from before we moved in together for us to get married. I loved him and we had a family together.
Dont’ judge your situation on all of us, a lot of women have ended up with some proper b*****ds.
PS over xmas I was spending 180 a month just on gas and electric. I couldn’t believe ti when they told me. the house loses its heat very quickly and having a small baby the house needs to be kept at a decent temp, the wash machine is on everyday. etc etc
Rebecca im not judgeing every woman on my experience, what im against is how the system works thats why i gave my ex the house for her to live and a good roof over my kids head, i dont give a f–k about what i gave them its what i am not entitled to as a father who cant even afford my own place to have my kids,
And if you want to experience cold just think about how i felt trying to sleep in my van at minus tempatures, whether its a child or grown up i feel the cold to, not nice,
All i state is most woman are evil vindictive bastards when it comes to the financial side of things, admit my ex has done a wonderful job raising my kids but if it wasnt for where they live and the home they lived in my kids wouldnt be as they are today, well educated, clothed, fed, warm, i cant say that about myself, and when a man is down and out because of the way the system penalises him how do you think hes gonna react, human nature to turn bitter, and that works both ways, i think about why i left and where it all went wrong and do you know why, lack of communication and again that works both ways, None of this should be about money but the feelings of all involved but its not, i dont give a damm if i had nothing as long as my kids are ok and they are, but getting back to me being nasty i speak as i find, criticism comes in all forms, personal or not its how you read it,
Rebecca look at it this way to, look at what you have compared to children in 3rd world countries who are dieing and have nothing, we all moan about our own situation but when we supposed to live in a democratic society we expect fairness, but men just dont get it
Rebecca are you a nice good looking girl, i,ll take you on if your a fair woman, sorry about the looks bit but im fussy,
lol. I wouldn’t meet someone off here but thanks 🙂 I completely agree with the comment on 3rd world countries. It is sad! Over here though our lifestyles are different and we are lucky we have been born into a powerful country.
I find it unfair that you have been treated the way you have and because of the way some men are, they bring the good guys down with them too.
Looking objectively, does anyone really have it fair? I wouldn’t say I have either.
Nope it seems not, im at the stage now where im starting to give up the fight in this country, we all get nothing those who choose and can work, i have friends on benefits and have two cars, a house, you name it they have it, ever since i understood politics nothing has changed to make everyones lives better, i acctually gave up voting when i was 19, but still have rights to opinions and what effects me, god is my governer, ,
Getting back to being gtrated unfair Rebecca, only grudge i really have is my ex not encouraging our kids to see me and putting up barriers when i wanted to see them,
Its different if you are on income support you literally have no money to live on and believe me they will do anyhting to not give you a penny so that you cant even afford your bills!
If you are on working tax credits your not loaded but you can afford a little bit more.
I wont tell people I am on income support I find it very demeaning, but the thought of my little baby going to a nursery makes me want to physically be sick and why should my child suffer because of the dad.
When kids get older they generally don’t want to see either parent, they just want to be out with their friends. So she’s probably feeling the effects of that too.
If they are young she should be encouraging them because they need their dad too.
My 18 year old was old enough to understand all that was going on, i even remember her words at 14 she said i cant wait for you to die dad so i can dance on your grave, now saying that my kids have had everything they ever wanted but i think sometimes they get to much and dont appreciate the values in life,
She only wanted to see me when she thought she was gonna get something,
Thier mother never encouraged any of the 3 to contact me, speak , see me nothing and my relationship to this day is still not good, the finacial side of things wouldnt have made that better but having the income my ex would have found it easier, shes a good mum theres no doubt in that, but chaseing me for what i didnt have left was not gonna happen, she could have downgraded the house and got somewhere cheaper but no, the CSA was on my back straight away without any questions about how much i could pay and how often, when payments got behind all i got is threats of prison, threats of my driving licence being taken off me for two years, what good that would have done for me working i have no idea, and then there were threats of taking belongings which i never had but where i was staying they were gonna try and come and take my mums and family members stuff to pay my monthly support, again theres where the bitterness starts to develope,
No child should suffer mentally, physically, finacially, but the system provokes the situation where the father has no more to give,
Excuse the spelling mistakes im dead beat , bed calling,
Sounds like you’ve had a rough ride. I think a lot of men on here don’t have it that bad. They are more complaining about how they can get away with not paying a penny. Thats why some women are getting nasty about it. Women on here are not complaining about men like you. They are complaining about the men who wont even leave the tv in the house.
Just some serious advice, if you still have a mortgage on that house and your name is on it, make sure she is keeping up with payments!!!
I agree Rebecca , personal things aint important,
I signed the house over took nothing, mortgage is all hers ,
csa sux i started my own business im earning about £30 a week at the moment as I have only just started! I have 5 children with my wife and one from my ex the csa said i have to pay £35 a week for a child i have not seen since her 1st birthday at the mothers choice not mine how fare is that i only had to pay £5 A WEEK out of my job seekers and I was better of then where is the justice !!
John the csa dont take that into account, and yes its so unfair , its like if your looking for a place to rent they look at what you earn not what the csa are taking,
I would just like to say I am shocked at the comments regarding “how can I not pay CSA”. Ok then shall the PWC also not pay and let your children starve to death! Some NRP’s can only afford to contribute a small amount, this I understand, but at least they are trying to assist in the financial care of their children. Others, however (including my ex) who not only went to court to withdraw his contact order with his children whom he was seeing with no dispute from myself, then went on to try and run our daughter over! He is earning a substantial amount of money, driving a new range rover sport, living in a detached 4 bed house with an acre of land ( him, his wife and a baby) which he pays £2000 per month for point blank refuses to pay any money for his children whatsoever! I would be happy for any contribution. I am not a sponger, I work part time to support the children. My new partner supports our children and we help to support his child from a previous relationship. So please don’t tar all PWC with the same brush.
Claire yours is a isolated case and should be dealt with accordingly,
No one is tarnishing all PWC with the same brush, read the comments carefully and you will understand some of the circumstances,
i have been offered some unpiad time off from work due to stress related to the divorce which I am going through. my payment to the PWC is £460/month when I am working. I am trying to find out if I still need to continue to pay this while I am on unpaid leave (I cant afford to pay if I dont get a salary but dont know if I am still required to pay even if I do not get paid myself). any advise would be appreciated. thank you.
Dil ring the csa straight away, they will access it, if you aint earning by law you pay nothing, if your earning reduced wages you pay accordingly, but you must ring them,
hi all….
well after 14 and half years the CSA are now taking money from me. The fact that im paying for my daughter and have done since the day she was born doesnt bother me. What does bother me is the fact that my daughters mother has a second child, younger than my daughter, but yet she refuses to claim against his father. He has never paid a penny since day one………….yet she meets up with him now and then to have a nice cosey dinner with him.
This new claim arose earlier this year after instead of putting my DAUGHTERS money into her account, I was giving it straight to my daughter. Along with payments, I would also give my daughter money for shopping trips with friends, tickets for concerts etc etc etc……
Now i have my bill come through of £87 a week, as well as £ 600 and odd pounds arrears…WTF….
My question is to you all, (although i probably no then answer), is there a way to raise a case against her other childs father????
I have nothing against this guy, in fact hes a good guy, what i do have a frustration with, is the fact that since day one, I have provided for my daughter, yet he has never paid a penny, yet im the only father having a claim raised against…
To me it seems as though my daughter has been nothing but a money token to her mother since the day she was born.
When she was born, I was serving in the british army in germany. I came home on 2 weeks leave to witness her birth, and spent 2 fantastic weeks with her, only to arrive back at camp to find a CSA claim form waiting in my mail box for me, with a claim raised against me….
Make up your own conclusions……
WELL ash
another day in court and yet again no further forward the system is a real joke that is 4 days i aint been able to make any money i have managed to raise the money £262 for a dna test that was paid today i just hope this gets put to bed i have put myself in debt in order to pay this not that they care im just another meal ticket 1 of many i handed all my accounts to the csa they now say i owe more money even tho i make half the wage i used to how the fuck does that work the bitch from the csa that goes to court need a good kicking she was making shit up as she went i should name her and shame her on here as i made sure i got her card (SLAG)
still i wont pay untill they can trace the pwc and get a dna test from the child my solicitor rekkons if they cant find her the case might get through out of court and case will get closed is this true
gman
To the lady who works for the CSA
How do you try to be fair?? My ex is self employed earning over 50 k a year and only pays £20 a week for our son, that is what the CSA have decided he should pay-he was the one who decided he wanted to pay through the CSA. I have always worked 2 jobs so that I’m able to support our son, I have been with my current partner for 18 months, he has a son from a previous relationship that his ex has decided he is no longer allowed to see since he moved on and started a new relationship with me. She has now had another child to her current partner who works full time whilst she sits at home claiming income support etc and pretending to be a singe parent.She put a claim in with the CSA and now my partner who earns 18 k a year has to pay her £75 a week! how is that fair when you compare how much my ex earns and his CSA payments??? the CSA is an absolute waste of tax payers money, staffed by rude, ignorant, mini hitlers who all seem to be on some kind of power trip. I am not surprised people try their best to avoid paying them if our experiences are anything to go by.
gman i cant see the dust settling there mate, it may get thrown out of court if she cant be found, she can be found, murderers are found all the time, all i can say is the CSA has no sympathy what so ever for the NRP, its like everything in life threats threats threats, it would cost the goverment more to send you to prison for 6 months, then you lose your job then have to go on jobseekers, which again cost the tax payer, its like in my case own my own business with a partner who relies on me for work and getting him about coz he cant drive , i put my case to the CSA and they can compromise if they want to, you have to have full facts in front of you to get anywhere with your case, as with me i refused and refused, i know pay 130 a month for 3 children, i think thats more than fair, there are men who pay that for 1, Keep the thread going mate coz this just gets better and better,
A R W, i can see where you are coming from,but bitterness towards the CSA workforce isnt the answer, yes i admit they do sound like little hitlers, i told one once i couldnt pay what they were asking, all she said this is how we work it out, nothing iv not heard before,my words were i,ll do what a couple of my mates have done and thats commit suicide, i came close believe me because i had no one to turn to, her words were Mr R thats down to you what you do with your life, but this is what you owe, can you imagine what was going through my head at that time,
Its all down to the goverment that have given the burden to another organisation,
Avoiding paying the silly amounts of money they say you should pay is a demo need organising and put forward to the twat David Cameron, untill that happens nothing will change for the best, if people taking thier own lives havent sorted things what do you think will, life has no meaning compared to that shity stuff we call money,
Susan on July 22nd, 2010 3:03 am , you made someone homeless, to make someone homeless you also make them destitute, can you really sleep sound at night knowing that little Tommy has got a new play toy but his daddy is wandering the streets cold, alone and in danger? and at what benefit can a father be in that situation, none at all, you yourself took it all away. he cant see his child, he cant have him over to stay, you took his home, he cant get a job because you took his home, daddy cant make any money to help provide because you took away the amenities for him to provide. what sense is that?
ok mate i will keep you posted but 1 thing will never change no matter what is said the csa will always back the PWC
p.s aileen crilley csa 07881510222
she is the pusher of all majour cases
gman without more and more support from people like us and our followers the csa will back the PWC, again run by a woman, and i say that with no disrespect to all woman, i just wish the battle of the sexs where men are always to blame for split ups or even violent relationships would stop. look at any soap, and chat program, in everyday life men are branded the bastard and the cause of all problems, without getting onto religion just look back in history where in the garden of eden who took the bloody fruit from the forbidden tree, WOMAN, hence why man is suffering to this day,
what a great site, i have moved houses and jobs over the past 7 yrs to avoid 40% of my wages being taken.
i did go to court and agreed to pay £150 per month (what i fort was total) in fact this was just money i owed them. i gave them every bit of info they asked for that day (work, bank details, NI number) any way later on THAT DAY!!!!! CSA contacted my employer to find out my contract and employment status to start proceddings to claim ongoing maitainance (wankers) any way since then they have repeatedly taken more than i can afford so i will not speak or listen to them. every bit of information i gave them that day they have used to there advantage, contacing my employers, using my bank details to take money strraight out of my accoun, NI to chase every little thing i have ever done.
i am sick to death of them, the women that rings from csa (michelle wood) is a total bitch and will not listen.
fuk them and the scrounging mums that claim.