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To the above, well said in your comments, frustrating it is, but the law will never change unless we get a list of people who are prepared to organise something and present it to number ten , twat David Cameron,
“hey gary, sorry to hear whats going on with you, i really hope something good happens for you, after all when it comes to all that you have to look after number one which is yr self”
DEAR FLINT and i am quoting you above FLINT,
All that you have to do is look after yourself? have you ever heard of contraception? or the fact that no contraception is 100% effective. Every time you have intercourse with another woman, pregnancy is a risk. Nearly everyone knows this, and nearly everyone will man up. If you don’t want a child, and you don’t want to be with the woman, then don’t sleep with her. simples!
To the above, what a pathetic statement, its not always the case, contraceptive, who plans to have children, mainly couples who have been together and want them, some woman trap guys and believe me play the game for an easier life so she can live off benefits and then screw the man,
There’s too many money grabbing lying bitches on here. I have two kids by two different women. Both were long term relationships so the trust was there. At the start of the relationships i told both women that i didn’t want any children, they were both happy with that. Then they both decided to trap me by forgetting to take the pill etc and now they wanna fleece me for all i have even though i don’t get to see the kids!!! You can’t have it both ways women so shut the fuck up. Don’t expect a man to stay with you just cos you’ve had a child by them you insecure money grabbing, using kids as a weapon mutha fuckers!!!!!!
And as for the CSA, you can all suck my cock, pathetic twats.
Hello, I have 4 children, my 2 middle kids see their dad every weekened and he gives me a set amount every month for them both, we sorted this out orselves and it works great. I am now married and have 2 more children with him, his ex girlfriend is seeking csa for her children who he does not see as she won’t let him, she’s an evil, manipulating human being, he has not seen these children grow up or had contact with them its all come about just lately as our 12 year old (whos my husbands) and her 12 year old (whos my husband) thats right they are the same age age she was my best friend since nursery and was cheating with him behind my back, well anyway these 2 young girls have found eachother and wanted to see each other, which we let happen as it is only curiousity, well now after all this time as her daughter as seen my daughter the claws have come out. She is married now and has been for a few years they are stable and have money it is now just for pure spite as my husband lost his job a couple of years ago and I only work part time and as I’ve said we have 4 kids who live with us, so money is tight. I am interested in your conversation so I am able to keep my husband out of trouble with the csa and the magistrates and this will not help keep my family together 🙁
speaking for myself when I decided to have children I knew what I had to do they were gonna be with me no matter what happened and I always knew there was a possibility that the father of my kids would not be there, I made the chioce to have children and like I said my ex partner and I share responsiblitiy as this is the grown up thing to do I would never do what she did and use my children as a weapon just to hurt the other person as it does not benefit the kids at all. I would hope that any mother is chooses to have children would think this way too but unfortunatly there are people out there who do this, it makes me sad for the kids
Ella nicely put,
personally csa dont give a damb how anybody feels. my husband was having his daughter every other weekend paying £30 to his ex weekly he was the one doing the 120 mile trip to collect his daughter and taking her back. that wasnt enough for the money grabbing ex. she stopped him seeing his daughter for weekends went to the csa £41 he pays but weekend access has stopped hes aloud to see hi daughter for a day when the ex says its convient. she has put £11 above a relationship between her daughter and my husband. this is when the csa and the mums make me angry. i am a mum of 4 there is no amount of money could be better then a father in my childrens life. my husband is not the dad of my children my ex is, so i no what its like to be a single mum ive been there….
It makes me laugh how the men on here are mouthing off, im a nrp to my two older kids who decided living with dad was a better option as he doesnt discipline them at all. I have a court order which is continually ignored by my ex and when you try and get this court order upheld no one is interested. I hardly see my kids as the father lets them have sleepovers on my weekends and pathetically leaves decisions up to an 11yr old on whether they want to see me or not is this fair? I currently pay £5 a week for my older two as im on JSA and im loathe to find a job i dont see why i should pay for two kids that i dont get to see, also i am loathe to line my exs pockets when he is earning in excess of 25grand per year. And dont get me started on Crapcass they couldnt organise a raffle and they are prejudice against single women who have suffered abuse, in short they are arseholes who dont care about anything, other than ticking their little boxes.
Non resident parents get treated like shit
hi,my ex partner took me for everything i had while we were togeather and still now we are appart.i moved from england to northern ireland to be with her and her two kids,we ended up having a child of are own and i was supporting all 3kids her ,paying bills and keeping the house.only now she desided to finish are relationship one day on the spot out of nowhere! i am fighting her thru court to see my son who i adore and she has now stoped my contact with him and wants csa money.when she kicked me out i had to move back to england with only the clothes on my back and my car now i have no job,car,savings,money,family or place that feels like home.you realy do have to be careful who you choose to be with,unfortunatly i choose a woman who broke my heart,ruined my life and trys at every oppertunity to hurt me more
Hiya
I’m seein both sides. I was a single parent to my 9yr old till she was 5. I worked full time an never ever asked for a penny from her dad I was proud to say I can do it myself. Her dad has never asked to see her or pay for her an that’s his fault. I’m now married with 2 new children 3 an 7months. An I’m still workin but part time an my husband works full time. His EX wife use to tke £50 off him each week. She threw in “if u marry HER ill take u too the cleaners” bare in mind they have been divorced 9years an I didn’t know him back then. We have been together 5 years. Now the csa have said he has never paid for his other child. The EX wife said she has never had any money. Now my husband is bein financially raped (sorry if offensive) for £103 a week. They say he owes £4000 in arrears? When asked for proof from the csa they said its confidential??? Were livin on the breadline but the csa don’t care they said “they are classed as a debt collection agency, an payin them is more important than payin ur rent”
I have been a single parent for over 20 yrs always worked and paid for my own kids. I did go to the csa for help for my 3 kids but he dodged it and now it seems pointless concidering my youngest is an adult now. All my ex has managed to do is make his children see that he is a looser and that I am the only one who has ever provided etc… I feel proud I did it on my own but a little financial help would have been nice. But i also see the other side too my new partner is having a terrible time with the csa. He doesnt mind paying for his kids but they are financially bankcrupting him. he doesnt even see them now and she got an order out on him which she needed no evidence to get so he can go know where near the house. she tells lies, breaks the law, and is mentally abusing his kids but everything is on her side. there is no justice for dads no rights nothing and I know this because we have ventured down every alley. this country should be a shamed of its self just because your female does not give you the right to abuse the system. there are no serious deterants for these women nothing, so why should they stop? Good honest fathers dont stand a chance in this system the law needs to be changed drastically and all circumstances of the fathers life should be taken into account when deciding how much he should pay. just because he doesnt have the kids does not mean he should not have a quality life. plus i think all income of the mother should be taken into account too when determining the amount to pay. It makes me a shamed to be a woman when I see whats happening
Hi everyone I’m just looking for some advice
My ex got pregnant while I was with her 4 years
Ago and soon after left me. Everything was a bit rough for a while but eventually she agree to accept £150 a month. This was fine for a while and we even got back together. But then she left me again and about a week later I lost my job. She instantly went to the csa but as I was out of work I didn’t have to pay anything. I eventually got a new job but was a massive pay cut and debts and bills got tough to pay and I had no money left to give to her. After about a year csa started taking from my wages (no letters recieved telling me) managed to get it brought down from £500 a month (over half my wage) to just £190. Things got better and I got a few pay rises but now I’m going to university in september to do better in life. But obviously money is goin to be very tight and I want to get a part time job to help.
My question is does anyone know if CSA will deduct from my part time job which I will only earn £50 a week on and will they expect me to pay from my student loans? It’s no like I’m doing it just to get out of paying and I will be living of pot noodles and bread for 4 years.
Ps I havnt seen the child in 3 years and have no idea where she lives or have any method of contact, not even facebook
Don’t know why I put single male as my name in above post it’s andy
My son is 17 next month and never received a penny in child maintenace, he’s never seen his dad, but I’m proud to say I’ve raised him on my own with the help of my fantastic parents, it makes me so sad and angry to see some mothers who want to take their children’s fathers to the cleaners, they should be happy and grateful that they are getting maintenance money, I would have been grateful for a tenner a week, I’m just glad that my son isnt bothered that he’s no dad and I hope when he has children he will be their for them unlike his dad!
the only thing that yous can do to stop csa is move to another country, thats what my ex done &csa said he doesn’t have to pay, so i closed the case, i didn’t want csa in the first place, he thought if he paid through csa he could take my son when he wanted to, he missed so many week ends with my son and my son got so upset, so after i seen my son getting hurt week after week ( i told my ex he wasn’t seeing his son anymore, that didn’t bother him) so he left the country so that he didn’t have to pay another penny,
OK….. All im going to say is if people don’t want to pay for whatever then all the best to you but you are going to die lonely and sad because all you going to do is either be single OR date loads of money grabbers which is not good.
I am going to be a farther soon and I am working full time and my partner is guess how old we are 21! and we have not SPONGED any money off the government we have brought our own house not thanks to parents money or anything we did it by ourselves working hard every day and just living a normal life so if we can do it and that age why people who are MUCH older do it them self’s, Its just selfish and you are going to be depressed and moaning about how much the world should own you money. Anyway last bit of my rant is that YES it does take 2 people to make a baby whats the point of having sex with someone WITHOUT nothing to protect you both and when the deed is done run away from your problems, Honestly i bet you can not afford a car or a nice house or anything? whens the last time you went on holiday without worrying about money? ANYWAY…. have fun moaning to other people because you have no TRUE MATES! and please for god sake pick up a dictionary and spell correctly please!!!!!!! BTW me and my partner have never been more happier when we found out she was pregnant because it was planned!!!!!!!!!!! and our baby is going to grow up healthy and happy with hes/her new job wile your baby! is going to grow up exactly like you!
Take care 🙂
well hello ash may i say i have missed this site as i have been on a little holiday (hmp durham) for non payment of child support yes that’s right jail as you know i was in the middle of my battle with csa……… so a DNA test was taken paid for b me at £255+ a £35 doctors fee the test was positive so at a court hearing this was said so the judge said i had to re-pay all back dated costs at a rate of £90p/w + £25 csa so i made my case clear that if the csa had not of put block after block on me getting a DNA i would not owe £4990 so i could only pay back at a rate of £10p/w+£5 csa as i only earn a small amount and i was asked if i walk out of court today would i avoid paying the full amount and i said if you mean the £115p/w then yes the judge said that will be all mr********gman please stay standing a few words were said then i get the shock of the week when they come back with 6 weeks take him away so a bit of advice don’t argue with the courts just avoid paying when you walk a free man but i would do it all over again if i had to i have been out 3 days and i will pay my csa but at my rate not theres as i simply cant afford it!!!!!!!!!!!
gman
I have noticed most here are from England. Don’t feel bad men, we have the same problem here in the USA. I spent 106 days in prison and I still have not went to trial. I am in the arrears alledgedly 42000$. I was relieved from work because of my health. I have some disc problems in my back, plus severe hypertension. I am 57 years of age. My ex-wife commits adultery exposes my children to alcohol, which is documented and I am still being charged for to boys who were emancipated 6 and 5 years ago. Thats why the arrears are so high. Just for fairness here, why do you women think you are owed all of this money. When you were married, it was never an issue. Basicly they have now criminalized divorce. This is the most unconstitutional piece of legislation to ever be passed here. Our jails are now full to capacity at tax payers expense because of the so-called deadbeat dads. I have applied for disabilty, but the bullshit red-tape to go through is a nightmare in itself. This is plain old debtors prison. I have to undoughtedly agree with one commit here about Sharia law. Under that law a woman that commits adultry is issued the death penalty. Here if a woman decides she wants to abort her pregnancy, she doesn’t need here husbands approval, but if the husband decides he wants a vasectomy, he needs his wife’s approval? Its plain to see whats going on here. This is part of the communist manifesto. Destroy the family. We non-custodial parents are going to have to stick together on this problem. For the record the government has never addressed the 300 billion dollars that the 20 million illegal aliens cost the tax payers of this country every year, and then folks can’t understand why governments are going broke. I hate to say it, but they only way to deal with bullys is to gang up on them and beat them down.Enough is enough. My children have suffered long enough.
well, i can understrand some guys point of view , i paid my ex regular as clockwork, then she went to csa and said i hadnt been paying, the csa told me although i had proof of giving her the money i couldnt prove it was for the kids so they charged me again and there was nothing i could do about it ,apparently even though i had proof of giving her money she has to tell the csa its for the kids which she said it wasnt , she left me with massive debts as it was , she opened up numerous credit accounts without me knowing and i got lumbered with the lot ( thanks to our brilliant justice system) so now im left with a massive arrears on my csa which i have already paid once. the csa even told my ex to stop me having contact with my kids until it was paid off , it worked for the first 4 years , yes 4 years she wouldnt let me see my kids, even my parents wanted to see then and she wouldnt let them ,
so to anyone who thinks that doing the right thing and supporting your kids , this does not help you one little bit , in fact the csa pick on the easy targets the ones who will do anything for there kids , there easier to pin down then fathers they have to chase
at the end of the day its the woman who controls everythign , shame they scream equality when it suits them
Sadly, i can see this from both sides.. my husband is on benefits due to ill health and doesn’t pay child support for his kids with his ex.. but.. we live 200 plus miles away.. every fortnight he drives to pick the kids up ( an 8 hour round trip) brings them to our house, then on sunday does the same in reverse to return them.. when the judge asked her to do half the driving she refused point blank… we also provide the kids clothes, shoes etc.. which they wear back to mums and ultimately ruin and we have to replace.. the csa therefore put him at nil payment because we do everything.. financially it has screwed us so we are having to move with my son 3 hours closer!!! on the other hand my ex refuses rto pay for our son my son is 13 years old.. we have just started to get £14 a fortnight, he owes £20,000 plus yet when the csa catch up with him he leaves his job, and goes on benefits, they take from his benefit dorectly for a few months then he goes back to work and it then take a good year to find him and then another 6 months(ish) to get an attachment of earnings and he then leaves his job before the first payment is due.. he has not seen my son since he was 3 months old when after we split i took my son every week to meet him in town gave him all the baby stuff he needed and money in case he needed anything else, i then found out by arriving early for collection one week, he was spending the money in a gambling machine and palming my son off to anyone who would watch him. we havent seen him since because he doesn’t give a shit even though my son has approached and asked him to get in contact.. so not all women with the kids are bitches… and not all nrp are pigs either…the system is the one that doesnt work and never will when courts favour the mother so much and do bugger all to prevent their behaviour.. as for those that want to pay but refuse the ex the money not the kids.. there is a syste with social services that the money can either be paid directly to them to provide for the kids or that the money is paid to the mother but she has to provide receipts for what she spends it on.. good luck all
I’ve been reading all the above comments, and have to say this country is a joke. If you don’t work and have kids you can screw who you want and the British tax payer picks up the bill and what’s worse the father who works and pays for you woman to lie on your back has to then lose even more of his wages in csa. There’s no complaints when everything goes the woman’s way but as soon as she gets bored its a different story, may be you should remember what it was like in the 40’s and then think how lucky you are, all this kind of crap wouldn’t happen back then. I work a huge amount of hours each week just to keep my house and car running, and for some skank who claims all the benefits under the sun is then allowed to claim my money is a joke. I can’t see my son because of the hours I work, my job has and always will be put above a child because without my job there is no child. And thats what has been forgotten, children should be seen not heard, women should be seen and not heard men should be seen and not heard, in fact everyone should remember there place within society, if you don’t work your entitled to nothing, if ou have kids but now way to support, they should be taken away from you, you can’t support kids on constant handouts, that’s what my son lives on, handouts and he will have no understanding of the big evil world because he is protected by the sum that run this country.
All the women on here who claim poverty, get a grip, close ur legs and move on. I think personally this whole country needs a dam good shake up and perhaps rules that were in place many years ago should be brought back, that really will shit you up. Call me sexiest it dosent bother me, because this is also applies to men who don’t work and claim benefits, keep it in your trousers. We are to soft, my ex wife claimed she suffered mental abuse because she couldn’t hold down a job for more than 3months, she deserves nothing and I used to say. Mental abuse is the best case for her physical abuse would have meant me being locked up. Long and short we all need to remember our place and that includes all sexes when we do that things might be a lot different
I never thought in a million years, I’ll be writing a comment on here.
Well in my case, my ex has got 5 kids… from 3 different men… well I am one of them.
Anyway, when we had our first child together, I made it clear that was it, she absolutely refused and this led to our separation. I couldn’t take living away from my child, and I wanted the family to be together… then we tried to work something together, we got back together and she then appealed to me that that she wanted this baby and that’s all and after the baby, she just want to send the rest of her life with me.
To cut it short, we had the baby, and she ended the relationship 5 months after the baby was born.
Meanwhile, I have never stayed away from kids, I have always buy them stuff, call the eldest every evening before she goes to bed, I visit them, I get them shoes, clothes, etc, etc…My eldest is about to start school, I have bought her uniform…that was what she wanted from the last time I visited. And of course, I got her a pair of trainers she asked for bec she hasnt got a pair…The last school shoes i got her has worn out, I got her another pair and I have got her another one ready for when she start school in September.
But CSA wants me to pay an extra 144 every month? I work in supermarket?!
Interesting read here.
My main points / experience:
* Girl gets pregnant after one month. Discussions, during early stages that I didn’t feel our relationship was ready for a kid. But she chose otherwise. It takes two to make, but the woman can make the ultimate decision on whether to keep or not and the guy has to pay.
* We evevitabally split up and we go down the route of the CSA, as the break up was less than amicable.
* I’ve been angered by the CSA who do appear to be crap for both the mothers and the fathers. But in the end, the law is the law and they try to do there job. They just do it in a very unprofessional and disorganised way.
Here’s where the opinion part comes in.
1. In a case where the mother looks after the child, why should the father pay if the woman decides to have the kid?
2. When the woman re-marries / lives with a new guy, shoudln’t that signal the end of any support from the NRP
3. Where does the amount the NRP end? I accept that I should pay something, but it does make life hard, so I work harder to gain pay rises/bonus’s etc, only to find that the PWC gets a slice of this. Should there not simply be a maximum payment?
4. Someone above mentions it costs 150k to bring up a child – but does that mean the NRP should foot the bill for the whole amount? At a certain age, the PWC has the opportunity to at least work part time (and thats not taking into consideration other benefits they might be entitled to).
5. This didn’t happen to me, but a friend was left with loans, mortgate etc after his partner cheated and eventually left him. Is it fair that he should be made bankrupt because of paying the CSA and isn’t this a good argument for expenditure being taken into account.
To sum up – if you do have sex and have a baby the nrp should pay something. But how much should it be?
Would it not be fairer to have some sort of system where the NRP is simply docked a minimum amount across the board (similar to the way we are taxed) – then there would be no need for the CSA then.
There are some woman out there who play this system and there are some crap Dads out there too. There are also some NRP who have no choice but to take steps to avoid paying, as they need to survive too – surely there needs to be some consideration towards the NRP – as I think it is so easy to just say “but what about the child”.
Anyway to sum up – and I’ve only seen it mentioned here once or twice – is there anyone challenging this process and if not, how could we go about it?
Dear All,
In response to the last post, yes I am actively fighting a corrupt and unfair system and have been for the last 8 years.
I have had some success on my case and now pay £0.00 maintenance through the CSA and have contact with my children. Now the CSA are only involved on the peripheries I actually have a good relationship with my daughter and quite a civil relationship with my child’s mother.
I would be very interested in meeting like minded individuals.
I make a disclaimer here, none of the following is intended to constitute legal advice, merely personal opinion. No warranty or guarantee is implied and any reliance you the reader places on the following is entirely at your own risk.
I make no apologies for this being a long post as this is a fairly complex topic.
My opinion is that whichever parent the child is with should be paying for the child. It is just common sense, so if my daughter is staying with me I foot the bills, when she is staying with her mum, her mum foots the bills. It is that easy.
I am angry at the CSA for depriving me of contact with my child for many years. I have been lied to by “government” officers, witnessed first hand unfair and unlawful tactics and been legally threatened several times. Indeed, the CSA wrote to my boss which undermined my good standing in the firm I was in. As a lawyer good standing is everything, what right to the CSA have to jeopardise my career? Legally – none, I have a right under the Human Rights Act to not have my property or employment interfered with by the state. This is an unqualified right.
So I would be interested in teaming up with anybody who wishes to undertake LEGAL methods to continue the fight my grandfather started, a fight against fascism and unfair control. A fight against unlawfulness and corruption. A fight in the best interests of my children and the children of UK citizens; for the system as it is, is not in the best interests of children.
I have some suggestions; I opine Judicial Review could be a friend. Magistrates often seem to err on the side of the state, this is no doubt why the CSA has it drafted into the Child Maintenance and Support Act cases are to be dealt with by magistrates. I personally would try and get any case out of magistrates court, it is a civil matter and magistrates are not family law judges. Many people think there are two pleas, guilty and not guilty but there are many (nine in total I think). One of them is pleading that the Court has no jurisdiction to hear the case, ie you want the matter “sent up” to be dealt with by jury. Another plea is the forum is not appropriate, so if you already have a family case going, perhaps for contact, the magistrates could be invited to transfer the case to a more appropriate forum like the family court. I have seen many cases of magistrates getting it wrong. Get legal advice, appeal and Judicial Review. Magistrates need to know if they are going to be unfair in their application of the law then they will be appealed and complained about. You can also complain to HMCTS and the Lord Chancellor’s office, if the magistrate has dealt with a case unfairly. Magistrates have a duty to act in a fair and impartial manner.
The process of judicial review is complex so do your research if you are going to JR a decision. Basically, JR is a process of having a judge look at the decisions of executive government. The CSA are an executive branch of government. They execute the law, all of a sudden they seem to think they have a judicial function which is contrary to the doctrine of the separation of powers. Technically you could have every CSA decision you recieve JR’d. If everyone JR’d every decision of the CSA the system would likely cease to function.
I am in the process of gathering information for legal means within the confines of the data protection act. (I keep an address book by my telephone). If there are government officers who are taking delight in taking houses of people and reaching beyond their powers then they need to be stopped. We have already had evidence on this forum of one such CSA employee. This needs to stop, this is not what responsible government is about. The CSA have contacted me at 20:00 in the evening, I managed to get a CSA officers personal contact details, I saw no reason why I should not telephone them at 20:00 in the evening at home to discuss my case. They did not like it very much.
Providing actions do not constitute harassment, I would have no objection to naming and shaming CSA officers on the internet, surely giving out details like telephone numbers and addresses can only make contact easier and the system fairer. They build up information on parents; we can start gathering information on them. Not for blackmail purposes or anything like that you understand, that is not my intention. My intention is to ensure a fairer system that works in the best interests of the child.
I have taken to billing the CSA every time they send me a form. I have a charging rate, if a client requested me to fill a form in I would probably charge them, so why should the CSA be any different.
I have not been paid yet, but once they owe me a little bit I might just take them to small claims or serve them a statutory demand for payment. Why not? They would do far worse to me if they could.
I did try dealing with them in a civil manner once over. I was polite when they telephoned and gave them the information they asked for. Now I NEVER SPEAK TO THE CSA ON THE TELEPHONE, if I do I give the following caution, “please be advised this call is been recorded for the purpose of crime prevention, you do not have to say anything but anything you do may be given in evidence against you” They have hung up on me the last 3 times. Get everything in writing, ask questions, send them long letters, complain to supervisors about officers, managers about supervisors and directors about managers. Complain to your MP when they get it wrong. They make a lot of work for me so I delight in making a lot of work for them.
I give them the minimum of information required by the law. I have no assets in my name. This household has an income of nearly £100,000 but the CSA don’t get a penny. None of it is in my name, and I am not employed, not claiming state benefit and do not have an income. I don’t have to pay them a bean. That said my daughter wants for nothing and is happy.
I would say I am winning, and have been for quite a while now. I would rather not have to deal with them at all though. Every so often I get a form through asking for info. Unfortunately my handwriting is very bad, but I do provide them with all the information I am legally required to do so. (And send them a bill for doing so).
Whilst there are organisations who can help I have never used them, I would however be very interested in meeting like minded people who would like to see a system that acts in the BEST INTERESTS OF THE CHILD. I believe this is a charitable purpose, and could be set up as a charity even. If we all stand together, and use lobbying and legal tactics we can encourage the powers that be to invoke a fair system that acts within the best interests of our children and mediates problems to find solutions instead of making peoples lives a misery.
1) Writing to our MP’s on a weekly basis
2) Complaining and escalating complaints when the CSA get it wrong
3) Building up information – information is key. I can discuss this more privately with people.
4) Meetings and marches
5) Getting the press involved, appoint a press officer to manage press releases. I have some good contacts in the press with a high level of integrity who are always willing to honestly document news.
6) Judicially reviewing incorrect decisions, appealing incorrect decisions
7) Reporting instances of harassment
7) Always ensuring you are paying a fair amount
There are many others.
I am doing this for my children.
A message to the CSA – how dare you interfere with my family life. What right to you have to act outside your powers and the law to bring misery to so many. I will fight you with my last breath. I will never surrender.
If anyone is interested in joining me in fighting corruption and unlawfulness in a legal and appropriate manner through the power of solidarity and political lobbying I would love to hear from you, perhaps you might only have a few minutes a week, perhaps you have more time to donate…If we all stand together we can ensure a better and fairer system for our children.
You can email me/us at bestinterests@(nospamplease)gmx.com. I promise to keep your details as confidential as I can, and subject to legal privilege where appropriate.
You can of course email me anonymously though any illegality or abusive posts will be reported to the appropriate authority. I promise I do not work for the CSA, I have worked in government before but I strive to always act with the up most integrity and I treat confidentiality as sacrosanct.
bestinterests@(nospamplease)gmx.com (Just remove the (nospamplease)bit !)
If you want a system that acts in the best interests of children and takes into account the feelings and wishes of both parents to provide solutions, not problems, heart ache, grief; and financial ruin I would love to hear from you.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Kindest regards
A concerned parent
i wish my ex was half as decent as anyone on here as he onlythinks about himself and when the next bag of weed is coming his way he has 3 kids one of which he carnt see as he got taken to prison for being a pedophile because his babys mum is under or or was under age at the time the other two dont even know who he is because he has hardly ever seen them because he was in prison for most of there lives he was a complete prick to me when we were together and refuses to belive that his daughters his his mum got involved in most of our relationship and controls his life he left me in his room most of the time and went out to see his mates i paid for everything and he stole from me and he nickd my dog who i got for my 18th birthday i even got him a loan for 250 so he could pay for his kids birthday presents and get the train there but he still took me for a mug kicked me out when i was pregnant and refuses to get a dna test i had to get a loan out and get myself in debt to pay for my daughters clothes and cott and buggy and everything it isnt even about the money i gave him plenty of chances to come and see his daughter and he didnt even bother …………. its people like that that i hate ..
well after reading a few of these comments i was shocked. my ex partner does not pay csa as we have a mutual agreement where he pays half towards all the kids needs. but threw csa its only parents that have no contact that pay 15% if u have ur child 1 night u take 1 seventh of and so on but some men (not all) wont support their child(ren) the choose to ask the mothers for clothes nappies and even food in some cases them men dont deserve to have their child. csa can be a bit steep to pay but can u really put a price on your child? i certainly cant
Britain has a cheek to bitch about other countries human rights when men are being hounded by the state for basically having sex! The CSA is an abuse of human rights: a BRTISH abuse of human rights. I bet you don’t get this shit in North Korea or Iran! And then the children don’t get even get the money half the time. Its a stealth tax, the money is used to pay the CSA nazis wages and bonuses and MPs expenses. Its not about supporting the the child at all! And I bet the CSA is operating at a loss!
But as the saying goes, where theres a will theres a way. They can be shaken off
Hi, I am wondering if someone could help me my boyfriend has let his dad use his bank account for CSA now he has told the bank to counseled it but yet they keep taking money are they aloud to take money out of my boyfriends bank account if he is not the person who is ment to be paying it any advice would be great.
if your boyfriend has supplied his account details for CSA payments for his father’s case then they are entitled to take the money as per the schedule sent to the NRP (your boyfriend’s father)
If the arrangement between your boyfriend and his father was that his father would give your boyfriend the money but has stopped doing so your boyfriend can cancel the Direct Debit (either by going into the bank or using online banking if he has it). The CSA will then contact the NRP (his dad) and it is up to him to make arrangements for his maintenance to be paid.
You say your boyfriend ‘let his dad use his bank account’ so that indicates that his account details were not used without his knowledge – as such your boyfriend would not be able to claim back any payments from the CSA, if his Dad was supposed to pay him the money to cover the DD but has not done this your boyfriend will have to get the money from his dad.
he did cancel the debit with the bank but they are still taking money
If your boyfriend has cancelled a direct debit with the bank and they continue to pay it then this is an issue with the bank – your boyfriends needs to speak to his bank asap
ok thanks alot for your help
Well here’s my story. I’m 26 let me start by saying I don’t consider my self a “father” (nor will I ever) as I have no interest in the child which I will speak about or any other children( not that there are anymore thank goodness) as I do not care for children I am not maternal in the slightest. My ex- friend got pregnant unbeknown to the both of us apparently… Hmmm. I was working and received a txt message telling me she was pregnant, it was mine, she didn’t know she was pregnant and it was to late to get rid of it. Albeit I was obviously shocked nevertheless telling her clearly from the start I had no intention of raising a child and shed known my views on children for years (seemingly these are supposed to change when there are children involved no matter how old and ingrained you’re beliefs are). I am not ashamed to say I just plain don’t like them or being around them. Never have never will let’s make that clear. So she said she wouldn’t tell anyone it was mine ( i never asked her to but i did take the offer of dismissal) but she did. She let everyone know in fact resulting in the loss of a few friends and loved ones because in there view “I wouldn’t step up” ” i needed to grow a set” etc. This and other actions of hers prompted me to think she wasnt interested in what i felt which is fine with me but what isnt is the feeling that she was convinced “i would come around to the idea” or “circumstances would somehow change how i felt” So time went on Id decided to give her money from the start which I was not happy with doing or felt obligated to do. I’ve seen the child once I have no interest in repeating that exercise. So more time went on she like the majority of people would, wanted me to be involved and wanted me to get to know it. I did not agree. She grew angrier and just would not listen even though I told her as straight as I am telling you now and the onslaught of nasty text messages and phone calls ensued. Same expected phrases “grow a set” “you should feel guilty” bla bla bla. Some disgusting phrases i had never had thrown my way before. It just became tediously annoying and I stopped paying her the money, stopped replying to messages and phone calls. If she felt so strongly about it having two parents she should have put it up for adoption which i believe i did suggest at one point. I never had a say in wether I was to do anything for a child or have one I don’t feel obligated in the slightest where most people would because basically they are taught to feel a certain way and act and live a certain way but I believe we have one life and it is mine and mine alone I am proud to say nobody will ever tell me how I should feel, how I should live my life, how I should act and though I have been told I am cold, heartless, selfish etc i say I am not brainwashed and I am not one to be pushed and coerced into anything I do not want or like. But for all you who just totally disagree I should have my own life and live it as I see fit and those who believe I should be punished and tortured for “my unforgivably despicable behaviour” you will be glad to know she has sent me a text informing me I am and I quote “sooooo mature” and she “has no choice but to go through csa” and I will happily go to court 🙂 no doubt being ordered to pay child support and I will, grudgingly of course! But happy in the knowledge that she will have taken it to those lengths and still not have gotten what she wants. In essence. Me to be a “parent”
I will finish by saying i find the notion of ANYONE having deep seated expectedness for another to willingly contradict their own beliefs toward an institution and do something that they truly do not want to do because it is an excepted social convention laughable.
Hi Richard
I don’t think you should be punished or tortured…. You ‘should’ be entitled to make your own decisions in life but I’m afraid the bad news is tat your life IS NEVER your own when the CSA get involved….
There have been many debates on here about what is right and wrong and you have been 100% straight about your position… You didn’t want children, the person you slept with knew this, so the choice she had was to accept this and agree to bring the child up without any financial contribution from you or to abort the child and wait for Mr Right to come along (I know I’m going to get shot for that comment, especially as,I’m a female) …. She chose to sleep with you knowing your feelings ….
However , the reality is, you are now a cash cow for the person you slept with and for the CSA… I wish you well…. Please keep us update on your progress…
Here’s my story, my ex fell pregnant unexpectedly, our relationship to me was dull and crap and we spilt a few times. Just before I was going to call it a day for good I was dropped with the bomb shell that she was pregnant, even though she was on the pill. Obviously these things can happen, but I know what I think, she knew we were coming to an end and trapped me. Just one of the many spiteful and selfish things this girl would do.
To give you some sort of background information into this situation so people can grasp the sort of bloke I am and the waste of space she is. Even though I was unhappy with the situation I told myself I had to man up and deal with the responsibility. I decided to give my ex another go thinking that as she was going to be the mother of my child I could make an effort and do things right, be a loving dad and loving partner and be a family. So I set about finding somewhere to live. Even though I was 30 I was still at home with my parents due to the fact my family is close knit and also due to the fact of not being able to afford a mortgage of my own. I didn’t want to waste savings/wages on rent, but here I was ready to provide and support and I found myself doing just that (renting) because of the situation I found myself in. Throughout all this my ex had no job, no source of income and was dependent on her mum and step dad. I was about to take over.
I found a flat via a housing association based on my earnings. It was a complete shell and I spent in the region of £7000 making the 1 bed flat look very smart and modern. After skinting myself out, one Saturday while I was doing overtime my gf decided to take my debit card and spent over £300 on surplus things for the flat without my permission. All this in the company of her mother, who should’ve known better. I’m telling you this so you can get a feel for the sort of bird she was. A row ensued, to which she said for the first and definitely not the last time “you will never see your daughter once she’s born”. So I threw her out, here I was my head barely above water trying to set up a home and I’ve just been threatened with not being able to see my unborn child. Disgraceful. To cut the story short on me and her we never got back together. She made me miss the birth and tried to deliberately to make me miss the registering of birth. Oh and just for good measure she refuses outright to have my deceased sisters name as my daughters middle name. The girl is a complete bitch.
Then she finds out I have a girlfriend. At this point she tells me again I will never see my daughter again and I have 2 choices, either my daughter and her, or my partner. Once she knew I was prepared to choose she cut out all access and refused to let me see my daughter. I was paying her an agreed amount of child maintenance but low and behold I then had the csa on my back demanding to know all my earnings, which I had to base on my lag tax return (which included nearly 8months of overtime pay). So now not only am I paying for a flat that was supposed to be for my daughter, I am now paying a very inflated rate of child support and I was also paying solicitors fee of £200 an hour. All I wanted to do was to see my daughter. After ignoring all of my letters she texts me one day demanding more money and saying she’s never stopped me which infuriated me, but was actually the start of getting somewhere as at this point she agreed to go to mediation (another free service for her but in the region of £90-£120 per session for me). I was earning £2000 a month, minus £700 rent, £250 travel, £340 csa, problably £250 solicitor fees a month, £200 car, £100 car insurance, £90 council tax. Leaving me with fuck all for the mont!!!! Oh and it took me over 4 months to get to see my daughter!. Fast forward a month and things have gone bad again. Even though the csa have calculated the amount I pay her she is now trying to insist on more money saying she can’t survive, although she’s told me (not asked) that she’s taking my daughter to Spain for 2 weeks. I’m not happy about it and now her phone has been off for a week. Solicitor said she can’t legally take her but a court order would probably still allow her to and it would be expensive. One of the conditions in the mediation was that my ex has to be in attendance when i see ny daughter because she said my daughter wouldn’t know who I was (yeah I wonder fucking why) so the last time I see her I said this has to stop, I wnt her on my own. She said no this and that she wantes to leave with my daughter to which i said she’s welcome to go but my daughter will be staying as i only get to see her for 4 hours. Cue her calling the police and trying to get me nicked for not allowing her to leave. As it happens the old bill were more on my ade and said she should leave my daughter with me while she leaves for a. Hour if she wasng happy. She agreed to this and actually picked her up saying this is the way forward. But now she’s gone missing and changed her number. This week I will be stopping her money. Women out there can say your only robbing your daughter but I am not, so far I’ve spent £2000 just to get the right to see her, and just because her mother is bitter and jealous she has made it hard at every possible moment for me and my family. I missed my daughters birth, first Xmas and most of the first 6 months of her life. I’ve now had enough and I’m going to make it as hard as possible for her. I feel for the men on here who have honestly tried their hardest to see their children but constantly come up against a damaged bitter ex who is shameless in using her kid(s) as a weapon for emotional blackmail and financial gain. The only advice I have is for any dads to try and get registered as self employed. From this financial year I am lucky. I have a close friend who owns a limited company and who has seen my plight first hand. He is paying me shit money (£150) and giving me payslips as proof, then the rest of my wages he is giving to me cash. All the amounts paid into his account have already been taxed so he doesn’t have to explain anything to the tax man. I’m about to notify the csa and plan to get the amount I pay down from £85 (not seeing my daughter remember) to around
£10. My reply to anyone who frowns on this is simple, if that piece of shit cunt can’t afford to look after them give her to me – she can have anything she ever wants!!! Oh and because my wages are supposedly so shit I’ll get my solicitor fees paid for aswell. If your not self employed I do really feel for you (if you’ve tried to do the right thing) because they have you by the bollocks!!! Bitter jealous money grabbing ex’s really need being locked up and gassed.
Wow! I have read a few comments on here today it seems like a good place to vent and get some much needed advice. My husband had a ex from hell the had a little boy together when I first met him the had been split up for over a year she had been unfaithful to him and ended the relationship. My husband had a fantastic relationship with his son until we got together I had never met her and had only been with my husband for 1 month when she called me( god knows how she got my number) saying she’s going on holiday for a week abroad with the guy she had the affair with would I watch the little boy? After much discussion with my now husband I agreed to take care of him while he was at work I am a registered child minder so it is my job. Well things where then on and off between me and him for over a year and at this point we had split up he managed to get her pregnant AGAIN! ( will this man ever learn I hear you say obviously not!) well he stole her straight he does not want the child and told her to get rid of it this was after claiming she was on the pill ( think of the most vindictive person you have ever met and times it by 10 and you still will not be close) she said she will never ask him for money and not expect him to have any thing to do with it. Well here we are 5 years later after the start and we have had the csa on our case for years to be honest I’m sick of it I understand he has to pay for his son but why should he pay for the other one that he never wanted y do men not get a say in these things women should not have all the control. I myself make payments of £55 a week out of my money as he is self employed and his money is not reliable they are now asking for more? No longer see the little boy as his mum ( if u can call her that coz she’s dragging him up) decided 2 years ago she did not want me around him she’s twisted and jealous I call her the most expensive whore my husband ever used because that’s all she is I wouldn’t mind so much if the money went on the children but is does not she’s a known drinker and drug user and has social services involved because she’s that much of a good parent me and my husband did every thing to make his little boy welcome on our home and it backfired in may ways so how does being self employed help with the cas because its not helping us at the moment and to be honest I’ve had enough I’ve told my husband today that if they try and take more money then he has to give up work and look after our baby that’s due in 3 months and I will have to go back to full time employment because what they are asking for is unreasonable especially as he never wanted one of them in the first place and made it very clear I don’t think I can cope with much more at this rate the csa are just going to break up a happy family unit for a whore my husband stupidly slept with and believed her that she wouldn’t screw him over 🙁
Nrp finished payments case closed left with nothing no house no car all taken all apart form my pride in the fact that in my very last phone call from the collections department i upset the vermin to the point he had his line manager phone the police and send them round to belittle me but this gave me some comfort that after all these years i got to you,One day we will stand tall together and stop this dictatorship where a lady can take all and leave us poor and deprived in my next life i want boobs.
Not being funny, but if any of the desperate single mums need a bit of help with money, then I dont mind helping out . I need 7 good lookers where I can stay once a week for a proper boning session, no ties except ill help with the bills. Ill pay for my share in each place and a bit on top and there will always be food in the house. It will work perfectly.
Any desperado’s up for it?
CSA = Sponsored Singlemotherhood Association.
90% of PWC = Lazy, bone idle women who think they are owed a living by society. They want a baby and see “benefits” and the “CSA” as they easy lazy way out of working hard like my Mother and Father had to. They find a man, use him as a sperm doner, and then break up an innocent childs home to fund their lazy lifestyle, and even have the cheek to try and take the moral highground. Ive seen it hundreds of times, thousands, our society pays them to break up family’s, and so that’s exactly what they do. After breaking up a childs life, they suddenly know every trick in the book, and even with all the free money they sponge out of us, child allowance, tax credits etc, they then stop us seeing our kids as well (beceause nothing is ever enough for these scummers, ever).
And all you so-called middle class women who do this, yes thats you too, “scummers”. You are on the bottom rung of society, and deserve all the bad mouthing that society gives you. Filthy, disgusting, lying, scum. You children should be taken away from you, given to their fathers, and you should be shot. You are a disgrace.
Please may spread the word and please let’s try setup a REAL COLLECTIVE RESPONSE to this mess.
A protest March for fairness! on FEB 1ST 2014 @ 10 DOWNING ST and DWP Head office.
Who’s in?
The CSA is a debt collection company and it works like a bank… they make money.
They do not really care if the child grows without suffering. In my case my ex partner spend the money going out and drinking. I still have to pay, they do not check how the money is spend.
The system try to make yourself to feel bad if you do not pay so you have no choice more than surrender and pay.
CSA is like a mafia you cannot even skipped an address change cuase you could fall paying £1000 penalty.
Even paying my children are suffering…
I think it’s terrible any father would try to avoid paying for their child, I consider myself to be very lucky my ex partner pays 180 per month towards our daughter,he earns over 26k per year I do not ask him for anymore than 180 as he takes her every weekend she has a lovely room at his house everything she needs clothes shoes toys ect, he also takes her extra nights if I need him to , he’s a great father his gf is brilliant with my daughter , over all I’m very happy, maybe it would be easier if parents could come to a mutual agreement which is fair for the child, the way I see it many but not all Pwc see fathers as cash cows, nrp know this then don’t want to pay this is were the problems start for many people , every case is different with right and wrong on both sides , it seems the only one that suffers is the child ,
18 years ago we were being robbed by the CSA for my husbands then 7 year old child. Up to them getting involved we had always paid maintenance, and lots of other things. She went short of nothing. CSA got involved and basically the amount was a second mortgage. Her mother and husband were both living off the state which meant we had to foot the bill for whatever the system was paying them. We would never have been able to make a good living if we stayed in the UK even though we both worked hard, and had two children to provide for.
We took off abroad and haven’t paid since other than sending the child money over the years.
My question is, if we wanted to move back to UK can we still be billed for arrears?
did you inform them that you were moving abroad? did you keep proof that you informed ie a reply from them acknowledging receipt of your letter? if not then im afraid they could still have been billing your maintenance and will hit you with a huge arrears bill if they find out you have returned
You need to be on Industrial injuries benefit. If you are it messes up the calculation and you don’t have to pay anything no matter how much you earn. try it out on the CSA calculator. I suspect they will try to ignore it and do the calculation wrong. In which case I will just make payment with no admission as to liability and then I will put it in front of a judge as a civil claim for a debt and claim the court fee and my costs as a litigant in person based on their unreasonable conduct. I’m sure they will soon get the message and stop chasing me as I will do it to them every month until they stop because they are losing money. It costs me a lot of money because of my disability so I’m prepared to fight for my rights which the government appear to have accepted as legitimate reason not to have to pat CSA
Ex and her family have been harassing me and it’s all documented and evidenced. So if she tried to go after me in any way financially I will suggest we agree a drop hands approach to any financial claim. If they don’t I will remove it from girls court and instruct a solicitor to ring a civil claim for harassment. They will wish they hadn’t as I am confident I can get in excess of £25,000. Then when I have a judgment, if they don’t pay I will make them bankrupt. I don’t think they stand a chance outside of girls court and family proceedings, You need to find a way to get some type of financial claim as a separate civil matter and not girls court family proceedings.
Ex could also still face private prosecution because she committed a criminal offence by making a false allegation to gain an advantage in custody, serves her right that she is frightened when she realised I had recorded the whole thing. Only person she got into trouble was herself as police weren’t interested when they knew it was all recorded
the fuckers have finally caught up with me after 15 yrs,,,, originally they wanted £96 a week which was a total joke so i went self employed,,, their assessment should be around the £ 74 k mark according to how much they wanted originally,, rediculous amount,,, funnily, since being self employed ive earnt significantly more than when i was on the books,,, and the letter stated i owe measly 22k,, wtf,, who plucks these figures out of the air? anyhow… im gonna reply to the hand delivered letter tomorrow, simply stating,, im not in work, and they can go spit,, i was blocked by a court from seeing my son when the bitch ex fucked off when he was 3 months old, i havent seen or heard from them since… does it bother me,, nope,, i havent got a single paternal bone in my body. im nearly 50 and loving my life without kids. come next april, i will do my tax return on £5190 and smile .
you lot make me sick you slag dads of for not paying but you dont know the facts my x is on drugs she has sold everything i have bought for my son her new partner has sexually asulted all of her kids and theres nothing i can do the police can prove it they wont admit it even though the evidence is ther so why should i give them money just to buy more drugs and then they become more violent towards the kids
There should be a system in place where if you split up with a partner with child involvement that both parents share responsibility 50/50 and no one pays its very easy for a parent to leave the other and then phone csa and make a claim when it is not that person choice! Shared parenting is the answer!
Guys!! Don’t get mad, get even.
I luckily kept my pensions after a divorce and now pay 15% CSA to an unemployed, smoking, drinking ex who spends all day watching Kyle and lazing about in her council house.
However, my company maximises my pension contributions to lower my net income for the CSA calculations. When I retire in 18 (hopefully 13) years I will be financially secure and comfortable.
In five years time her CSA and benefits will finish, my kids will leave home. All she’ll have left will be a knackered liver, emphysema, the bedroom tax, a benefits system that forces her to take a job and NO future.
My eldest daughter, who works, has lost respect for her mother and now wants to live with me. Furthermore I intend to set an example to my other kids that hard work WILL pay off in the end.
For me it’s not worth whining about the CSA – it’s about self respect, being there for your kids and focusing on a positive future (with my hard working girlfriend) 😉
It might be tough now but you don’t pay the CSA forever.