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CSA Complaints

Ex wife earns more than me but I’m expected to pay up

4 November 2010 by KMcQ79

Divorced my wife five years ago on the grounds of her adultery. I have a teenage daughter.

Received a letter from the CSA as soon as my divorce when thorough. There has never been any kind of question over me financially supporting my daughter. I don’t expect other people to support my child, so why should I support theirs?

Once my payment was calculated by the CSA, I felt this was rather high (my ex wife earns more than me) so questioned the calculation.
Received computer generated letter and leaflet. Spent weekend going through leaflet and personal paperwork to discover my pension contributions where not taken into account. CSA refuse to acknowledge this for about 18 months, so I stop paying.

New amount resolved. Now pay monthly by cheque. Every so often I get telephone calls about my ‘arrears’. Spend days going through my records (that’s why I pay by cheque, I have evidence) to discover I am not in any form of arrears, in fact I pay before date due! Write letter to CSA to explain arrears and how they are calculated. Ask for receipt of letter. I have yet to receive a reply.

The CSA was created to collect money from parents who do not financially support their own children yet this forum has many stories of parents in dire straits due to non payments. It also has many stories about people like me who do pay, very often too much, yet are still persecuted and harassed by the CSA.

I wish you luck with your formal complaint and let us know how you get on. Remember, it was the previous Conservative government who created the CSA, so I can’t see them saying ‘we got it wrong.’ Also in these times of cuts in public sector jobs, everyone at the CSA is making work for themselves, not just the fools on the phone but heads of departments and further up.

The costs figure of 44p in the £ is appalling and an insult to those parents who do not receive money.

My opinion is you are better going to a TV programme production company to expose the chaos, ineptitude and meaningless of the CSA. How they spend far too much time on cases where there are no problems and too little on cases where the parent pays nothing. I’m sure if such a production company contacts this forum, it will get many offers of examples for the programme.

126 thoughts on “Ex wife earns more than me but I’m expected to pay up”

  1. I never said that none of the NRP's provide for their children! NRP's consist of mainly 2 types of parents: 1) the ones who do not mind to provide for their children and 2) the ones who try to get away with payments.

  2. It is clear from your comments Allan that you stereotype all PWC and you believe all of them are horrible people who spend the money received as child support on having their hair done, nails done etc…

  3. Actually Sylvia… It appears from your own comments….. that you yourself have previously and often stereotyped NRP's… considering I have explained clearly to your comments in reference to where you question NRP's as expecting our children to walk cold, naked and hungry!!!!If you were not in the habit of such stereo typing, you would clearly not have directed those comments towards NRP's that have previously stated that they want to support their child and not their PWC!!!!! After all, its all about the child…. NOT the PWC!!!!!Clearly I have never stereotyped PWC's and clearly lodge my opinions with and towards the greedy, selfish arrogant PWC!!!!!! How does that comment stereotype all PWC's???????

  4. Su… this is a debate on CSA issues with PWC's and NRP's plus NRPP's and PWCP's…….yet your approaching comment is more of a chat up line ….lol

  5. Sylvia…………I clearly get away without paying the PWC monies but provide for my child financially… the PWC does not benefit but my child does… In which way do you consider my actions to be wrong????

  7. Clearly Sylvia… Any NRP who is not providing for their child or has no intention of such provision for their child will obviously not be interested enough to come onto this posting site as the last thing on their minds is provision for their child!!!! So why would they come onto CSAhell???????We the NRP's that support our children clearly are interested in such and we have interest to make comment on CSAhell…..!!!!

  8. Clearly sylvia… deadbeats will always remain deadbeats…. why expect differently?????

  9. Funnily… I get away with payments and still provide for my child…. stereotype that one if you please lol….

  17. Clearly Sylvia… you acuse me of commenting that PWC's spend their CSA donations via deduction from NRP wages on hair and nails… I have never made tis comment but clearly state that PWC's tend to benefit from a healthy bank account and find therefore more money to spend as they wish….. this clearly in reference to my child did not benefit from CSA payments and that when money stays in my pocket is therefore provided to the welfare of my child as I see reasonable and more fitting than the PWC who is not prepared to put the monies to the requirment they were provided for!!!!!.

  18. S.J.P. you have said previously on here and on different threads how much you receive and what you do with it so i hope once your child grows up you can them that all the money you are about to give them come from your x and not you ..youve mentioned jealousy on what grounds my kids dont do with out never had never will one is with everton fooball acadamy the other with preston north end youve no idea what i do for a living how much i earn so how dare you say my kids wont get the same oppertunities in life as your child ha what a laugh pms lot more oppertunities than yours

  20. Bit of a playground situation developing here folks!! NRPs – if you're in a situation where the PWC is NOT properly providing for your child despite your contributions via the CSA then, in my opinion, you are acting in the best interests of your child by fulfilling their needs yourself and no one could ever class you as 'dead beat'. Think we all need to remember that we have all had very different experiences and comment according to that, if a comment made doesn't apply to your situation, don't take offence. I have seen posts on here from NRPS advising others how to avoid assessments, bank accounts in others names, going self employed etc and I don't understand the need?? As Allen said, part of loving your child is providing for them so why would anyone want to be devious to avoid this?? But these posts also go to prove that they are dead beat dads on here looking for ways of getting out of their financial responsibility to their child.With regards to Sarah Jaynes monthly assessment being so high, again there are things that need to be taken into consideration. Is this due to arrears being repaid?? If a NRP has not contributed and has accrued arrears why shouldn't they be repaid?? Thats neither Sarah Jaynes or the CSAs fault that the NRp has chosen not to pay.That is like saying its ok for a NRP to go through periods of non supporting, it is not!!With regards to the percentage calculations, surely this allows for differences in income etc and is a fairer system????If a child has lived in a 'wealthy' environment and had a really good lifestyle, why should that child have their lifestyle removed because the parents have split?? Regardless of who and how its provided, the child should not suffer any further. The split is enough for them to deal with, without having to withdraw them from friends and activites that they have previously enjoyed and wether the NRP chooses to contribute to these things directly of entrusts the PWC to do so is a matter of choice between those two people. And providing they are being sensible and adult the CSA should not be involved.

  21. We all have different circumstances however the CSA are prepared to screw up communications between NRP and PWC and there are PWC'sintent on screwing NRP's…Its the children that count not the requirements of attack…. however! any attacks made towards NRP's who are providing for their child and accused of not doing so… I will make comment onand question such attacks….However!!!! to the newbies… welcome to our playground!!!

  22. Charmaine, to me it's nowt to do with the money, it's being FORCED into dealing with the CSA. I would I am afraid, advise anyone on the best route to remove or minimise the governments interference in their lives. The PWC has no business in the affairs of the NRP after they split, that is the issue with the CSA I detest the most. What right have they got to disclose my business to my ex? Anyone who feels they should must be advocating full interference in their affairs by the government. They should even ask why you are no longer together, start apportioning blame etc etc After all, if it's fair for one party to have their affairs interfered in then so should the other!Why doesn't the government just FORCE people with children to stay together, would that not help? LMAOAs for your last statement regarding the CSA and sensible, that is exactly the problem…the CSA should not be involved until other avenues have been exhausted.

  23. Allan, why do have so many listings as whilst I do read a lot of them, I skip over quite a few as well. I'll be more inclined to read them if they were all under ONE post!!!

  24. Sorry Lee… sometimes after thought requires addition to posts…. Also I skim back over for additional checks that I had not engaged in…However! I also make additiones in seperate cases to seperate people or PWC's for each apportioned comment required….so as to respond to those who have provided comment accordingly and individually…Individual comments placed to individuals in reference to my comments… but although you skip some… I guess you gather the points I make…lol…..feel free to view as according to your choice… sorry I cannot provide any further help to resolve the problem but hopefully you understand the reason behind my reply in regards to your question….

  25. Unfortunately!!! I always feel the need to provide subnotes in order to respond to all qualifying posts….

  26. LMAO!!!! So when it reads 75 comments, I will assume that it is really only about 25!!!

  27. I'm in a really bizarre situation to be honest Lee. I had a private arrangement with my ex that was an offer made by him in court during our divorce and I happily accepted. Even when he missed these payments I didn't make much of a fuss, I did however make a fuss when he started letting his child down for contact (he stipulated the level and again I agreed) in favor of drinking and taking drugs. It was actually HE that contacted the CSA, stating that if he did that he would be able to pay less. It backfired and he was assessed at more than the private agreement so just decided to pay bugger all and broke all contact.I do understand comments about interference from outside sources and to be perfectly honest being forced to be involved with the CSA has been a right pain in the arse for me.How do they get to be involved with a case if they're not instructed by one of the parents?? What reasons have your ex's had for contacting them if you have a private agreement? Is it a greed thing as a lot of NRPs suggest? Surely you all agree that if a NRP stops paying or drastically reduces the amount and refuses to discuss the PWC has very little option but to involve an outside agency?? I quoted the CSAs calculations when assessing on an earlier post. Working on one child a NRP is entitled to 60% protected income and then 15% of the remaining 40% is what's awarded. If the NRP has a child with a new partner and they are living together then they get a further 15% allowance which would mean that an assessment is calculated on 15% of 25% of their income. For the high earners this would be a significant amount and for the low earners it would not provide a lot of assistance considering the cost of living. Do NRPs really feel that is an unfair system of assessment??The hardship for the NRP comes into play when arrears are involved and I think at that point the circumstances that resulted in the accumulating of the arrears should be looked into. If a NRP has just point blank refused to pay then it's unfortunate, but necessary that enforcement action is taken. When arrears are due to CSA errors then it is highly unfair to punish the NRP by taking 40% of their income. If arrears are because the PWC is lying about monies received directly from the NRP then it needs to go to a court style hearing where the NRP is given the opportunity to prove their case, and if the PWC has been found to be lying under oath they should be punished accordingly. It all boils down to the level of communication between the parents. As for staying together until the child is 18, i do genuinely believe that there are a high percentage of people who don't put enough thought into the full impact of having a child and there are certainly those that have children for all the wrong reasons. Marriage and divorce is granted at the drop of a hat and far too quickly. Pregnancy outside a committed relationship and at a young age is all to readily accepted. There is a lot to be said for old fashioned values, and a lot of marriages worked through the hard and bad times and came out stronger. There are cases where there is no choice but to part companies due to extreme behavior or circumstances but on a whole I do think people give up too easily and walk away without trying. The important thing to remember is that it is the relationship between the parents that has broken down, not the relationship with your child.

  28. Charmaine… I feel you may have missed on the point that a relationship is a two way street and not one sided… Unfortunately! I have this at my experience…. My kindness was often taken advantage of by several of my ex's…. they abused the fact that I was not violent and I was compliant to requests but anything for myself was not acceptable and I always had to meet to certain demands financially……and more oftain in the financial capacity than anything else…… I was generous untill realisation of the attitudes that developed and the onslaught of violent abuse both physical and verbal!!!! I parted ways as the children should not have to witness it.. however! the children were safe with her while I lived in my car for several weeks until I rebuilt my life…. Unfortunately… correspondence has broken down and clearly I have no contact in place!!!! I continue through my sister who has contact with them… However! I am stil able to have contact and shared care responsibilities with my eldest….. meanwhile I do what I can,… to maintain contact with my other 2 children!!!!

  30. Yes Lee…lol…. summat in that line of thought ..!!!!! Even if it were in one post or so… it'll be just as long a post as it would be lol…. click on my latest comments and check the page they apply to…lol… I often keepi checking older posts to see if further responses have been applied and evidently… they'll show as extra posts lol…I'm contemplating the possibility I have encouraged more gossip mongering at PWC's childs school gates with the mothers MASSIVE…. (1 for the chavs of cause) in reference to my comments…lol… any chances they are aving a glass of wine or tin o beer…. or as popular with the most bitter of self obsessed PWC's… Vodka……while looking at the posts… givin it…"who does he think he is"…….Oh well! who cares……. It's our kids that are important!!!! Gossips will gossip and if it's with new material…. it wont be so boring for everyone to listen to or chat about lol…

  31. Besides… this can be more entertaining than the TV at times….. thanx to many PWC's who are happy to make negative or abusive comments about NRP's……… lol…. dont forget the headteacher style of approach from some who comment about schoolyard/playground behaviour and that we should all grow up….lol!!!!!I'd rather feel alive meself!!!!!

  32. Good point Trevor, especially that the NRP is now making such provision for such purpose… I believe the child should know that those very monies came from the NRP!!!!SJP… do you agree????

  33. No Allen I did not miss the point which is why I stated 'in some cases there is no other choice but to part ways due to extreme behavior or circumstances' I am also aware that it takes two to make a relationship work and it doesn't matter how hard one partner may try, if the other is non responsive it just isn't going to happen. And I'm also aware that it is not always the case that the NRP has been the one that chose to leave the relationship. Women have affairs, women can be violent and abusive and if creating circumstances where no relationship can survive

  35. Charmaine,The CSA had to be involved automatically prior to 27th October 2008 when a claim for Income Support was made by a PWC.Either party can intiate use of the CSA BUT only the PWC can remove it!As for arrears, how about them assessing me on a level of income I don't earn, then backdating it then taking as much as they can via DEO so that I am left with $20 per week on average to buy food etc… and then breaking the law so that I'm paying money to which I am not liable and having a free shot at my salary. Well that worked out well….end result JSA and HB and not much CM for my son! Well **** the ex, some people just don't work out the consequences of their actions! I have NO intention of co-operating with the CSA and hopefully my future lies abroad but we will see! The only person that suffers is my son.Meanwhile I shall still fight for the rights of the poor people in this country who are right royally shafted by this run for profit company! I think the CSA are on their knees anyway since it defies logic that the government will let this company trade at a huge loss for an indefinite period!

  36. However!!! still the PWC has the main power to start or stop CSA intervention… and just as I've said before…I'll say it again… It's the case of the greedy, selfish arrogant PWC always wanting more money… at the expense of the NRP and ultimately the child…The CSA is at the command of the PWC for enforcement of deductions…. I will do anything to prevent CSA from taking away the clothes from my childs back…his footwear from his feet and food from his stomach…… I have the power to prevent them from taking money from my child!!!!!!

  37. Allan, if that's your definition of a chat line – well!!lol. My line of work is also caring / providing for my children. The reason being for delay in replying was i have just finished an 18 hour shift, so yes, i do work pay vast taxes & i receive very little assistance from my ex husband…

  38. Su… in reference to your comment…. I am aware that we'v never previously exchanged any communication but it appears that your first ine ofcommunication was request of a reminder as to the line of work I am in… commonly a comment recieved in general chats as in similarity to a dating site and getting to know each other!!!! lol

  39. well done on the 18 hour shift btw… I did many of those on temp over weekends as a moonlight to my usual 5 day full time work…lolAlso when I was working in a foundry…. I also took every opportunity to work all available overtimes including the weekends just to keep away from my violent aggressive now ex PWC… now the PWC of my two youngest!!!!I did the overtime also to reclaim lost moneys that had been devoured by CSA DEO's…. just so my two youngest were provided for!!!!!

  40. Allan, i have posted before to a discussion you were involved with!…Men & their memories eh!!…Are you self employed ?…If your thinking this is another chat up, so sorry, but you're sooo wrong! (btw, 6ft blond, GSOH, working etc!!! lol)! So who cared for your children whilst you were able to do the O/T ?…The children's mother?…Lucky you for having such child care at your disposal!

  41. I dont need congratulations on completing a 18 hr shift – that's the norm when i have the child care available (my sister, also working PWC, Paramedic actually!). I pay for child care through the wk, but cant find over night care for my daughter other than my sister….(It was her father's choice to walk away from his child)…

  42. well certainly it is the NRP's choice to walk away!!! what is his reason to make such a choice????Am I self employed… No but I certainly have every intention of being self employed!!!I am sincerely amused as to the evidence in your post that makes suggestion of anger towards my open manner or my confidence lol…. Almost if you assume myself… to be arrogant??????… however! I'm sure you realise I am very happy to present myself in such manner, clearly you display a form of dislike to my comment as if I was to be patronising…. I do have a dear friend who is in the nursing profession..so I assumed correctly did I????? was I correct?… as it would seem in your private message to me…. . that is clearly why the use of your sherlock comment in private message to myself!!! Reckon I should attempt in the line of employment as an investigator????As in respect to having been lucky to have a speed and cocaine addict looking after my children who was usually elsewere having fun and deceitfully claiming DLA for herself while I was providing for her and my children… myself and my PWC to my eldest son…. what do you think????Ahem!! now lets just remember the facts here since your possible anti-man comment in reference to men and their memories might just be true… however! there are many women who have just as poor a quality of memory unless it's all about themselves… other than the drunken night before waking thinking to herself…. why's he gone off me?????!!!!!!! !! the very same woman looking after my kids during overtime yes was the mother at home and at that time my partner and the PWC with my eldest son was screwing me and her own son via the CSA from same wages I was using to support my other kids at my residence while she spent all WFTC's and CTC's plus her DLA….. at the cafe each day with her mates or getting a vodka for her luch time with mates at the family home… I still had to work to bring in the money to run the car and other things that go along with family living!!!!!!!!… and damn I worked…. Foundry's are not the most easy or comfortable of jobs…. Hard graft!!! Mans work clearly… I comment with such chauvanist narcicistic, egotistical prowess!!!!! In the clear interest of seeing….. that as you choose to use feminist terror power behind your words.ROFLMAO!!!!!!.. lets provide the balance value and the equality of feminism and chauvanism… that way we can keep this in perspective!!!!!!!!there is no reason to have a scream at me because you rely on your sister for night childcare!!!! that's betweeen yourself and her clearly.. and I aint responsible for your child either…… Unless you've got DNA evidence… then of course… screw me…lol…It is clear you have a snere with my name on it!!!…. That's funnnnny!!!….. You choose to start this… then lets check how well Venus and Mars really do!! I sincerely look forward to this and I'm sure there are many here ready to watch this entertaining article!!!!!!Still!!! all said. my dear dear… dear Su Sephton!!!!.. I'll leave you to question exactly why your childs father chose to walk away of his own choice!!!! what is it about you that he got sick of and found that he just couldnt take any more.????.. then maybe you'll also learn to direct your anger and frustrations upon those who really are responsible!!!! instead of attempting to choose a naive path in the battle of the sexes…… I suggest sitting in front of your mirror with a hard sincere reconsideration in refernce to yourselfn thinking you can win this!!!!!However! I suggest choosing your words wisely if you wish to continue your game!!!!! I'm always up for game!!!! your choice!!!!!

  43. Su….. in refernce to your comment… 6 foot blonde.. GSOH and working…. Well I applaude your comment of good sense of humour loudly… I clearly have an cheeky (almost arrogant) sense of humour lol…. Am a little shorter than yourself and I unfortunately for myself have blonde moments also!!!! However! I have the drawback of being disabled but that doesnt prevent me from being a good father!!!!!I have shared care of my eldest son…. I also have hobbies and share those hobbies with my son… I provide him clothes, footwear and support him emotionally and financially.. He also is as cheeky as myself…. He's a wonderful child who is learning how to treat others as they treat him, providing respect and gaining it…. clearly qualities that appear uncommon with several greedy, selfish arrogant PWC's whom I have had pleasure to communicate with!!!!As for remembering you….. I clearly and evidently have not remembered having any comments with yourself before…. Clearly you feel so self- important enough to actually expect me to find you important enough to be bothered to remember you!!! Clearly I never thought you were important enough for me to remember you!!!!!I guess I must have considered you almost as valuable as a one night stand!!!!! ROFLMFAOOL!!!!!!!Why you would even expect me to remember you is soooooo way beyond all comprehension but thankyou anyway for engracing me with your grand presense and such an honour it must be for me to have had previous communication with yourself…. Ooooops! did I not tell you I also have a sarcastic sense of humour???????It was an honour to engraciate you with my presense clearly!!!!

  44. I do accept that we have never communicated before after review of all my posts I'v added… clearly you may have had thoughts of comment with me unless you've had a profile change or become someone else!!!! you may have thought about making a post towards myself but I have seen no evidence that makes your statement in reference to that we have communicated before… the evidense suggests that your comment does not ring true!!!!!You may have been too tired after your 18 hour shift which you clearly intended bragging about!!!!! and forgot to use the comment button!!!! we certainly havent had private message communication before… You may have intended previous communication in regards to your dislike of my cheekiness!!!! But hey, there's plenty that do like my cheekiness so just for the sake of one who doesnt…….that aint gonna disappoint me much really is it?????

  45. Some wil already have recognised my experiences with argumentative women….. Way too much experience clearly so……Now I have the pleasure of having them here too…. well let the entertainment of such begin…… I soooooo enjoy this….. It helps boost my ego….. keep it coming girls….luvin it!!!!!!

  46. Just to remind you su… my comment that was in reference to a chat line… a chat line is not a chat up line… I was refering to posts of a general chat line where individuals have chat!!!!!I suspect your vanity must have gotten the better of you and thinking that every guy who chats with you must be chatting you up!!! I clearly never use chat up lines….. I simply chat… and if I'm chatting thru my fingers… this does not mean I am chatting you up. nor any attempt of physical play or attempt of seduction….. but actually as I am at present… chatting you down!!!!!! and by all intentions…. evidently required and well deserved!!!!!

  48. Allan, i cant possible reply to each & every point you have risen!!!(work)lol….As for the sherlock private message, thats your choice to refer to it on here….( i didnt think it was rocket science to realise that sort of shift, of a wk end, would indeed be of the care sector!!)My daughter's father started to re use class A drugs, ( aprevious addiction, i will never know if he had even stopped using) that i wasnt aware of when we first started dating….it then manifested & i would'nt continue the "relationship"…When contact with said daughter was raised, it was put to the father that rehab would be required as would clean drug tests….that didnt happen, so HE walked away…Our daughter is being brought to to respect life, as we indeed only get one!!

  49. Clearly by your comment that you couldnt possibly reply to every point that I present to you…. I question your need to state the obvious!!!!!in regards to sherlock… yes it was a private message… it clearly is my choice to comment wether publicly or privately to that comment.. I chose publicly but question your desire to make reference to that point!!! I didnt feel that it was really that important although I did make comment I admit!!!!!I am not questioning about how you raise your daughter nor have I scrutinized the way you bring up your daughter… We alike therefore have a common experience in reference to the deception by ex and the said use of Class A's and inclusively Class B's from my experience although I admit I have used Class B's…Did you nag him into rehab or encourage????? You nhave to realise… drug users will lie and deceive if they have a problem and it is likely that it remains continually while you are not aware and for this I sympathise with you!!!!!In regards to contact issues… clearly your ex has chosen to miss out… clearly that's his problem…. luckily your child will make her own choices with your guidance so long as you choose not to bad mouth your ex to your child… as to bad mouthing your ex to your child could well be counterproductive!!!!In relation to your comment of rocket science… I clearly realise that your comment is true… as to the fact… rocket science is actually one of my hobbies allbeit H2O rocketry science but the maths involved for trajectory, velocity etc remain the same in reference to their mathamatical equations…. besides the H2O rocket is less financially destructive as H2O is from the tap and the air pressure is provided by foot pump!!!could you please clarify on your comment…….( i didnt think it was rocket science to realise that sort of shift, of a wk e…nd, would indeed be of the care sector!!)maybe it was too much rocket science involved in this comment lol….Is this you making clarity as to yourwork in the care sector or is this in relation to the differences between foundry work or work in the care sector… I apologise if you found yourself to be unclear in this comment!!!! maybe a suggestion of clarity be applied here????It is true we only have one life and we should all respect life… It goes without any need for saying but clearly it needs stating to those who do not respect life of cause!!!!!I look forward to further responses!!!!!

  50. well clearly the float went under!!! I got another bite…..must be the bait I use…….. lol

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