Ex wife earns more than me but I’m expected to pay up
Divorced my wife five years ago on the grounds of her adultery. I have a teenage daughter.
Received a letter from the CSA as soon as my divorce when thorough. There has never been any kind of question over me financially supporting my daughter. I don’t expect other people to support my child, so why should I support theirs?
Once my payment was calculated by the CSA, I felt this was rather high (my ex wife earns more than me) so questioned the calculation.
Received computer generated letter and leaflet. Spent weekend going through leaflet and personal paperwork to discover my pension contributions where not taken into account. CSA refuse to acknowledge this for about 18 months, so I stop paying.
New amount resolved. Now pay monthly by cheque. Every so often I get telephone calls about my ‘arrears’. Spend days going through my records (that’s why I pay by cheque, I have evidence) to discover I am not in any form of arrears, in fact I pay before date due! Write letter to CSA to explain arrears and how they are calculated. Ask for receipt of letter. I have yet to receive a reply.
The CSA was created to collect money from parents who do not financially support their own children yet this forum has many stories of parents in dire straits due to non payments. It also has many stories about people like me who do pay, very often too much, yet are still persecuted and harassed by the CSA.
I wish you luck with your formal complaint and let us know how you get on. Remember, it was the previous Conservative government who created the CSA, so I can’t see them saying ‘we got it wrong.’ Also in these times of cuts in public sector jobs, everyone at the CSA is making work for themselves, not just the fools on the phone but heads of departments and further up.
The costs figure of 44p in the £ is appalling and an insult to those parents who do not receive money.
My opinion is you are better going to a TV programme production company to expose the chaos, ineptitude and meaningless of the CSA. How they spend far too much time on cases where there are no problems and too little on cases where the parent pays nothing. I’m sure if such a production company contacts this forum, it will get many offers of examples for the programme.
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I have been a ‘paying’ victim of these muppets for 11 years. and like you I thought i was doing the decent, honourable thing of providing finances for 2 children. How wrong I was!
They have made mistake after mistake and forced £6500 worth of debt onto me…..because THEY made a mistake. I have paid £24,000 to date by the time I have finished it will be £34,000. This on top of £77,000 paid in divorce plus £7000 to the legal thieves!
The more I looked into the system and the people involved.in it, Politicians, Executives, Staff and the people who work in complaints like ICE, the more I realised that It had nothng to do with proviiding financial support to my children.
It is a scam. To replace benefits that the PWC claims, and fill the pot for M.P.’s expenses. It is a scam to keep civil servants in their ‘safe’ jobs with ‘gold plated pensions’ .It is a scam to keep the ‘merrygoround’ system in place to keep these incompetent oafs in jobs. At our expense!
It has nothing whatsoever to do with child poverty!
It is for parents to provide for their children. Not a politician. Not a civil servant. Not an executive and whilst they throw tax credits at people, we will pick up the bill!
This ‘flawed’ system that has failed to collect £4 billion pounds from people who should pay, but who have been ‘let off’ and will never pay continues to target the ones who do pay. My children have LOST their inheritance because of government interference in my affairs.
I have paid taxes etc for over 35 years. Why am I and others being forced to pay into the system again? 60% of my income is going into the government coiffeurs.
I sincerely hope that someone who has millions or billions of pounds takes the politicians to task has succeeds in a legal challenge, that will open the floodgates for I and other victims to have their money repaid, with interest and damages. As it cannot be right that thousands are ‘let off’ and have never paid whilst others are repeatedly targeted.
If prisoners can get a vote, if Mandela can rise from the ashes to become President, than this gives all the victims of this corrupt ‘shambles’ hope!
No! No! No! You say "The CSA was created to collect money from parents who do not financially support their own children". No, that is what the public was told. It was created by Margaret Thatcher to take money from fathers (an easy target) with the intention of keeping that money. I was created to cover up the blatant sexual discrimination and total incompetence of the DSS. This why they only hit the "easy targets" and don't bother to chase fathers where the money would go straight to the mother. Eh, no point in collecting that, is there, as the CSA would not benefit. The money is not used for child support, the whole child support act is based on fraud, and the taking of the money, denying the children we fathers would have spent on them, is theft. The CSA must be closed down and all money taken that has not been given to our children or their mother must be returned!
No form of media seems to want to touch the subject..apart from Watchdog..
It's funny how the CSA was created by Margaret Thatcher, but didn't come into force until 3 years after she left. There is NO POINT in blaming the previous Tory government, considering that we have had another one since then who still refused to sort the mess out..chucking money at it rather than admitting it was useless, despite being told several times it wasn't 'fit for purpose'.It was actually created to offset the benefit bill, which most people would agree with. Why should other taxpayers pay for children who aren't theirs, whilst there was another parent in the mix who wasn't paying anything?The biggest mistake they made was to allow all PWC to claim from the CSA, instead of just the PWC who never received maintenance.
its not just about fathers y'know! i wish ppl would keep gender out of this thing….. its about CHILDREN !
True foxy, theres mothers who dont cough up either for their children !
YES, CHILDREN ! WE WANT TO LOOK AFTER AND PROVIDE FOR OUR CHILDREN. But it is the CSA that does everything in its power to prevent us! All money taken by the CSA MUST BE PASSED DIRECTLY TO OUR CHILDREN and any money that it has taken that has not been passed to our children MUST BE RETURNED!
Foxy – if it was about Children – this shambles wouldn't exist – breaking parents, abusing the taxpayer etc etc.. about the kids is the garbage the CSA are TOLD to say.. "acting in the best interest of the child" biggest admin scandal ever – but like all addicts our Govs throw even more of OUR money at this.. it shoudl be closed down immediately and warrig parents dragged in front of a court – th erest who want to make arrangements should be allowed to do so without Police like state intervention.. I would also hold various decsion makers to account for the people who have sadly taken their lives as a result of feeling worthless other than a being a convenient direct debit.
The CSA supposedly changed there system to one of a more fairer one.. What a joke.. Years ago all things were considered financially, such as the parent with cares income, any new partners on both sides, step children, mortgages, rent and council tax payments when making assessments on how much an absent father or mother should pay. It seems to me that the "new fairer system" doesen't take account of ex partners income on both sides, nor mortgages, rent or council tax.. tuff luck for any step children and their financial need, and second families should be taken into account..
the csa should make sure that any money given to the mother is being spend on the children and not the mother the csa should make sure the mother provides proof where the money is going!! also the csa sld make sure the non resident parent gets access to the child!! if the mother wont give access the father should not have to pay. im sick of hearing about these mothers wanting the money off the father that money is good enough, but the wont let the child see their dad? fair?? er no certainly not. i dont think you should have one without the other myself.
I personally believe that pwc's who refuse access without good cause should be jailed for a week for instance. That will jolt them! If prison is good for the NRP then it is good for the PWC.The kids can then have a weeks 'holiday' with the NRP. Sorted.
FnF pushchair march, everyone together cause it's all about the kid's and the CSA make them suffer
Well said Kerry! When we were under court ordered maintenance the judge reduced the payments because 1. I couldn't afford them and 2. She was spending the child maintenance on herself. She was living with her boyfriend, had no rent to pay etc, and enjoying trips to Mauritiius. I could see my children when she went on holiday (even then she dumped two of them on a friend of hers and i had to go get them) but I wasn't allowed to see them when she was home.We need a system as in France (we are in the EU) where court orders are enforced by the police and the mother arrested if she won't hand over the children. I have also dealt with cases where we've trying to get the mother contact with her children.
Kevin, you didn't give the date and location of the march.
well said peter
great comment kerry
child benefit should be for the kids yes. clothes and things they need like nappies etc… not for the mother go spemnd it on herself in primark and go down the pub with her mates living it up no. if she wants to do that go get a job and then spend they can spend their salary on wot they like. but any csa money etc that they receive should go on the kids yes. the father is payin the money in good faith the kids will be looked after not the mother!!
I wish I was getting for my daughter regular child support but this deadbeat "dad" tries his best to avoid payments. All I wanted was to get regular child support ,the amount my daughter was entitled to get (not even a single penny more) and to sort out visitation. Mr Man didnt agree to anything, he never calls us (called once during this year and it's nearly 2012 – that is how much he loves his kid, he changed his address and phone number , he wanted to communicate via emails which I refused as if he wants something better to talk over the phone or in person which he obviously didnt want). I never wanted arguments, I wanted fixed time for visitation and fixed amount of child support on a regular basis. Even the amount we got a few times didnt cover half of the costs that I have due to having a child. Even though we discussed we would pay half-half when it comes to childcare costs, food, nappies, furniture, clothes (if any needed of course) and he agreed to it then he f'ed off…. So please do not say that all PWC are horrible and should be put into prison. There are more NRPs who dont want to contribute towards the upbringing of their kids as compared to the ones who are willing and happy to do so.
If I had relied on this deadbeat dad when I was pregnant, I would have miscarried when he promised to take me to hospital when I started bleeding and he turned up like 5-6 hours later when he said he'd come within an hour, and he kept his phone switched off etc etc…. There are many men who are like this and then the woman has to rely on herself only to raise the child or children. (I know there are horrible baby mamas out there, I myself know of at least one, but please dont even try to consider me as one of them. Thank u.)And if I had releid on this a-hole my daughter wouldnt have any clothes or antything, she wouldnt have had a cotbed, nappies, nothing.
I dont make CSA payments any-more…. I don't provide money to the PWC….. And right now she cant do anything about it….Question is… Am I what you would call a deadbeat dad???????
Oh Allan here you go again do you really need to be provoking a row?!?
No Lisa i dont think he is people have made a comment about being a dead beat dad because he doesnt make payments is he ??? i dont think so he loves his children that is more important you carnt put a price on it he see`s his children and provides in his own way what he can afford people who go to the corrupt csa are greedy people hell bent on driving the allready split family further apart for there own gratification so one day they can turn around and say" ive had no money i brought the children up all on my own"etc etc What is it with pwc first thing they do is lets go to the csa and lets see what we can get from the nrp fact doesnt matter how much they earn "much wants more " pure greed nothing else
i myself dont pay am i dead beat dad???? i dont think so !!!! its not about money its about love to are children theve allready gone through a split relationship and pwc want to drag it out and make it worse shame on you
Love wont keep as roof over a childs head, clothes on their back and food in their tummies.
i just feel that wnen the csa take payments, that access should also be sorted. if the pwc refuses to let the nrp see the child/ren then they shouldbe refused the money. i know there are nice pwc who want the children to have a relationship with the nrp, but theres also more who are just after the cash and using the kids as blackmail for more money. i seen it myself. its wrong.
well said Kerry and well said Trevor, and well done Lisa…It's not just the provocaton of argument but clearly revealing those that like to make accusation of NRP's being either absent parents or deadbeat dads… just by causing responses to appear where the PWC is intent on revealing her bitterness towards her own NRP and declaring any NRP who is not making provision of monies to PWC, she declares… must therefore….. be a deadbeat dad!!!!You have obviously noticed that I am quick to respond to negative comments towards NRP's by the greedy selfish arrogant type PWC..SJP… in relation to provision of love for child, I note clearly that you redirect argument to money again and again!!! As clearly evident by such remarks made by yourself… and in trevors words a case of…. Much wants more….especially when PWC expects NRP to fund PWC's transportation to work considering it is the employees responsibility to to get themselves to work not the employee's ex!!!!!As is clearly evident from several of my posts…. I do provide love for my child, I also provide a roof during shared care arrangements… I provide food while he is with me… I provide Clothes and footwear!!!All things I provide he recieves… However! when I was providing to PWC… why did my child not benefit from those CSA payments????At least my child benefits when provision is made from my own pockets!!!!!!!
There are "fathers" (= sperm donors) out there who try to avoid payments as well as are NOT willing to see their kids or make any effort to keep in touch.
I clearly state that although CSA are still in the background… I have the control….. But the question remains… does that make me a deadbeat dad????It depends on who wishes to declare that I'm a dead beat dad, then I provide the fact to respond to accusatons provided by bitter PWC's…yes I do thrive on debate and argument.. but if not willing to take rebuke for accusations made, dont make the accusation… I will provide a response to those who intend to make negative comments that reflect their arrogance….Greed and selfishness…. in order to create their well founded bank accounts at NRP and childs financial expense!!!!
Seriously, some posters attitudes astound me. I state that love isnt enough to keep a roof over a childs head, feed it, clothe it, so I am attacked as a 'much wants more' Kids cost money and nothing comes for free these days. Sadly. Shame on any NRP who thinks that love really is enough for their child and their bitterness towards the PWC over rides the childs needs. I understand that some PWC can be complete idiots with holding access etc, but there are just as many NRP who are not willing to see their kids, or contribute towards the cost of raising them.
here here @ Sarah-Jayne!!
SJP. I note your comment!!!!.. Feed it… clothe it???? children are not IT's…. and should never be referred to as it… children are people like you and I see ourselves as people… how derogatory and offensive your comment is….. to refer to a child as IT!!!!!!I have often stated in many of my posts that I provide for my child and I certainly choose not to finance the PWC as my child never sees any results from CSA payments that I have previously made…I accept your comment that there are NRP's that choose not to have contact or provide for their child but this in no way entitles you to tarr other NRP's in the same catagory just as I choose not to place all PWC's in the same catagory… any negative comments I do make are usually accurate in reference to the Greedy, selfish arrogant PWC!!!!
In the words of John Lennon… Love is all you need!!!!!!Because of love, you will provide financially!!!! so yes!!! it is true, your children only need your love!!!!!! that love is provided in how you support, treat and finance your child!!!!!
And for Lisa… do you support SJP's comments referring to the child as IT??????
I respond in the same manner as to seeing a dark or discoloured pixel that destroys the photograph!!!!
or as to dust or scratch on a completed image ready for display!! I see the bigger picture and ammend fault accordingly!!!!
how explanatory of consideration for a child was that peeps????
In respect to comments of much wants more…. this is in accordance to expectations of an ex.. funding your transport costs to work… If it was your ex who was PWC.. would you accept your ex expecting you to fund his transport to his place of work???????
Calm down Allan – your in serious danger of giving yourself a heart attack….!
i think allan speaks volumes of truth and agree totally with his comments lets go back to the amounts people receive in payments you yourself s.j.p. have bosted on here you receive £600 per month including arreears how happy are you i would be lets say on csa assesment you only receive £6 per month would you be just as happy i dont think so … so yes love you carnt put a price on it when my kids are with me i pay the electricity they use, the water they drink, the gas to cook there food, the petrol to pick them up and drop them off xmas , birthday presents do i get hand outs from pwc or the state the answer is no but my kids respect that and there brought up accordingly they know i dont have a lot of money unlike some greedy people on here financed by the corrupt csa
so how much does a child need to live on a week £1 or £100 its not what they need its how much the nrp can cough up to support the pwc life style!!!!!
much wants more FACT
feed it !! cloth it !! there children not objects so people can use to get money shame on you
Not sure where I have boasted, but to answer your question Trevor, if £6 per month was all that could be afforded then so be it. My ex partner is assesed on his income and the contribution I receive from him enables my daughter to have a excellent standard of living and a nice lump sum in the bank for university/car/deposit on a home of her own. If you want to slate me for wanting the best for my child then carry on – just reeks of jealousy maybe that your kids wont get the same opportunities in life….
Both parents should contribute towards the upbringing of their mutual children. End of story.
Allan, remind me again if you could please – what line of work is it youre in??
Su…. what line of work am I in????…. I understand my line of work is providing for my son… As a photographer I work with my editing skills.. as an entertainer… I provide entertainment for NRP's and NRPP's who are insulted by several comments aimed at offending the NRP's in respect to accusing NRP's as absent parents…. and accusing fathers of not providing for the child when the truth of the matter that the NRP wishes not to fund the PWC but their child/children!!!!So su…please could you remind me of what line of work you are in??
Sylvia… I do believe that several NRP's have provided post in reference to how they support their child/children… Clearly that support is referred as to clothing, footwear, food, roof overhead…etc etc… yet you still feel the desire to ask if we wish to cause our children to remain cold, wet and starving?????which part did you find hard to understand were reference is made to… that we clothe, feed, and shelter our children????
SJP… regards to your comment of calm down…. I am very calm and have informed you previously that I have no anger or frustration and clearly present opinion based on comments provided in posts…How could I possibly be at risk of heart attack by typing posts????I clearly understand that your occupation is not within the health services….lol
Sylvia… I also suggest you start at the beginning of the post which will clearly provide answer as to your question where you ask us guys if we think our children should walk naked with an empty stomach!!!
Sylvia appears to be blinded my her own preconceptions of NRP's and it appears she intends to imply that NRP's are not attempting to make provisions of clothing, footwear and food!!!!Clearly evident in her comments where she questions I suspect … the NRP's in relation to our children walking naked and starving!!!!Clearly she has not read any posts where it is commented by several NRP's that they make provisions and also with provision of love………… founds that love by purchase of clothing and food for our children during shared care arrangements!!!!which part of…….. we provide for our children does she not understand????