Ex wife earns more than me but I’m expected to pay up
Divorced my wife five years ago on the grounds of her adultery. I have a teenage daughter.
Received a letter from the CSA as soon as my divorce when thorough. There has never been any kind of question over me financially supporting my daughter. I don’t expect other people to support my child, so why should I support theirs?
Once my payment was calculated by the CSA, I felt this was rather high (my ex wife earns more than me) so questioned the calculation.
Received computer generated letter and leaflet. Spent weekend going through leaflet and personal paperwork to discover my pension contributions where not taken into account. CSA refuse to acknowledge this for about 18 months, so I stop paying.
New amount resolved. Now pay monthly by cheque. Every so often I get telephone calls about my ‘arrears’. Spend days going through my records (that’s why I pay by cheque, I have evidence) to discover I am not in any form of arrears, in fact I pay before date due! Write letter to CSA to explain arrears and how they are calculated. Ask for receipt of letter. I have yet to receive a reply.
The CSA was created to collect money from parents who do not financially support their own children yet this forum has many stories of parents in dire straits due to non payments. It also has many stories about people like me who do pay, very often too much, yet are still persecuted and harassed by the CSA.
I wish you luck with your formal complaint and let us know how you get on. Remember, it was the previous Conservative government who created the CSA, so I can’t see them saying ‘we got it wrong.’ Also in these times of cuts in public sector jobs, everyone at the CSA is making work for themselves, not just the fools on the phone but heads of departments and further up.
The costs figure of 44p in the £ is appalling and an insult to those parents who do not receive money.
My opinion is you are better going to a TV programme production company to expose the chaos, ineptitude and meaningless of the CSA. How they spend far too much time on cases where there are no problems and too little on cases where the parent pays nothing. I’m sure if such a production company contacts this forum, it will get many offers of examples for the programme.
126 thoughts on “Ex wife earns more than me but I’m expected to pay up”
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just have to land this one but it wont be that hard a fight…. It clearly is a calm one but it's strength maybe a little deceptive but wait and see….lol
Allan, it clearly is the bait you use, but alas with children to care for, a house to run & a job to cater for, i bow out as this has very little to do with the "service" we receive from the CSA!!!…until of course, i find another post that interests me!!!!!!!!….by all means, continue to PM me, but please, one message at a time due to other commitments!!!ty
Su… as I have previously informed you… I am aware of the care sectors working hours….. this however is clearly different to the manual labour applied in Foundry work…. have you ever worked at a crucible and furnace????? I have… it's very heavy, filthy and hot exhausting work…. the fumes of molten metals and the risk of severe burns of explosions caused by intense cold contacting severe heat….It is very risky….. people have died in foundries due to broken crucibles and breaking hoists with a full crucible mounted….Core working is clearly safer but there is a risk of hot sand getting in the eyes… an experience I have had the pleasure of….the frames of larger moulds are heavy and therefore exhausting both in stacking and removal from casting but again there has been pleasure from the pain. both in burns and the exercise!!!!…. nice early starts for additional overtime aswell as the evening overtime taking it till later in the day.. a good excuse not to be at home with the fiendish bitch I was living with…. no wonder I chose to look elsewhere!!!!!… either in the sexual capacity or in need of an alternative relationship…. however the 18 hour shifts I did were at a dairy factory in production and packing. A long time before the relationship I have just described to you… a boring job clearly but it did have its benefits I can assure you… and I dont mean by the team leader sexually harrassing me, Eeeewwwww! I think she thought I was chatting her up also when in fact, I was only providing humourous entertainment ……. No she wasnt blonde and 6 ft tall..although she did have a GSOH…..lol… evidently not my type though…..Clearly I acknowledge your entertaining qualities….. Ammusing as they might be!!!!!! I look forward to any further comments you wish to present!!!!!
You are very welcome su to bow out as and when you choose…. I have no intention of keeping you pre occupied from your other duties… I however! am gonna have a quiet moment as my son is back at his mothers and evidently at school… well he should be… I want for him to get a good education and oddly enough.. his homework when commited to when he is here, is marked up remarkably than when he does his homework at his mothers house… Ooooooh! I guess he is much more comfortable being able to ask me for assistance rather than his mother saying…." I dont bloody know… just get on with it….. then she complains that our child is getting detention for not completing his homework….. In fact I use the language she uses tamely!!!!
I correct myself… the language she uses is not as tame as mine lol…..
Oddly enough su… I have to make comment that it was you that chose to make personal contact… I recall your question of what line of work I do was your innitiation to our communication both on a private communications level in respect to making PM's and in reference to the post you made on this forum may I add….lol
Rocket science is about achievements of apogee… for those who are not in the know of rocket science…….
couldnt agree more with your post`s allan just hope people sit up and listen.. people working an 18 hour shift (sleep over included o myself use to do that job)?? that is the norm why brag or cry about it on top of that corrupt csa credits from nrp my heart bleeds (not) and they probably moan about travel costs aswell get on with !!!!
I totally agree Trevor …..lol
Oh & here's the lap dog Trevor's comment!!!…sleep over?…do i assume you know what sector of care i am in then Trev??…be it private, public or charity??…please do enlighten me love!!!! …& as for travel costs, do you know that too??..LOL… PM me if you respond…saves me some time !!!!!!
Srangely trevor… the funniest thing I realised about su's comment …. and by myself is copied and pasted from her post…. as follows;Allan, i cant possible reply to each & every point you have risen!!! I take the time to respond to her valued comments lol, but clearly she never had the intention of providing a reply to all my comments in the same respect as I chose to provide my responses to ALL of her comments ………lolTo think that I was missing her efforts of communications… and the sole intention of her lack of reciprocation… I am so pitifully miserable….lol All for the fact she made highlights of my day…. It's so unfortunate ….lolAnyway!!! gorra respect the fact that she request I continue to PM her!!!! I did and still no reply…. this chasing lark has got to be so exerting… If only it was as exciting….lol….Well!!!! I guess I should try again and establish comms….. she'll be hiding ready for her next sniping shot…. Guess I'll let her continue the chase… U'll see what I mean very soon is my guess though… There again she just ignore me… but hey!!!!! better to have tried than never to try at all…. You'll probably see that there is a clear possibility of a profile stalker existent in this forum lol… I wont mention names in regards as to who she is….. but that person will reveal her identity. She'll feel the need to let us know very soon…… of cause I refer to the profile stalker….ROFL…… She's reading this at some point…. she'll hold back for now but she wont be able to hold herself back for too long as she'll need recognition… and she wont get that recognition if she never tells…. But soon we'll know… I know exactly who our profile stalker is….. dont I just????!!!!!!….. I'll just call her sweetheart for the moment as I know she wont like that!!!!!.. She certainly wont believe I know and she'll assume I'm shooting in the dark……coz I aint spoke of her identity… but she will… I value my intuitions….. My intuition has already Identified her as the profile stalker….lol
Taken the bait!!.., altho aimed at Trev…so sorry Allan, i didnt receive your PM…i didnt snipe at all, prefect legit questions asked, it was only when Trev saw fit to jump in on the conversation i answered in the same tone….dont you think??!!!!!
Yes… I do think!!!! clearly evident in my posts wouldnt you agree???Surely… trevor is entitled to comment and clearly did not jump in and clearly made comment as appropriate… everyone is entitled to an opinion and is entitled to present that opinion, whether their opinion is correct or incorrect… an opinion was presented!!!presenting of an opinion is not jumping in… else you would have to accuse yourself of jumping in on the conversations… like wise to your inquisitive questioning of myself and innitiation of comms!!!!! would you consider your actions as jumping in????… is it because we have male genitals that we are therefore accused of jumping in???? this clearly is in reference to several women who feel the need to approach myself and Trever because of our personal opinions… as clearly evident….an presented in responses from women to myself and trevor on this forum… simply because we choose to voice our opinions in regards to the greedy, selfish arrogant PWC's!!!!!!!!
In reference to your PM…yes, i did indeed receive the one dated 10112010…
At least we have PM…..lol
that aint a chat up, either su…..lol
Su?????…..Taken the bait???? which bait was it you were taking ????
I did note the sniping shot to Trevor tho before the questions you made…." Lap dog"….an intentional sniping shot was fired prior to questioning…… like a witch hunt…… take action and ask later?????
Wow!!!! su… you actually for the first time liked summat I said….lol
I am astounded!!!!!
I note su that you still decline any presentation of your answers to my questions…. Is there a reasonable excuse that you may be able to present to me or an opinion in reference to the questions I put to you???
You have to agree su… you called Trevor a lap dog for his agreement to my comments…. that's taking a sniping shot!!!!
a cheap shot at that!!!
well clearly… no more shots being fired now!!!!!!
amazing how the truth can silence someone!!!!
Just a quick background for me…..Ex is Divorcing me, she earns more than me and she also gets maintenance from me equivalent to what she would get if she went through the csa. She also gets the benefit as if my boy was with her all the time, so on top of paying her maintenance I still pay for my boy when he is with me.
Yes its made life very difficult for me financially but at the end of the day we have decided to trust each other, not for our own sakes but because we truly want to love our son and for him to have the best life possible. We do not want him to grow up thinking its ok for mum and dad to disrespect each other and be horrible to each other, surely this will not be good for him as he grows and learns about the world.
As it turns out so far we are getting on better as a family and me and my ex are getting on better as we see our situation is about the best thing for our son and not what is the best thing for ourselves individually.
Ok so thats out the way I will say this now…..I read most of this thread and didn’t finish, i got bored and felt truly disappointed by the amount of KIDS that are commenting, you might be old, maybe older than me but you are all acting like KIDS and not ADULTS as you should be, you are all respoinsible parents are you not? do you not love your child/children? why is it all about the NRP vs the PWC? can’t you all realise that its about your children and their right to a happy and prosperous life?
Disgusting and immature behaviour, its truly sad to see a bunch of supposed adults quarrelling over money and using their kids to justify it. Just sort it out, not for yourself but for your kids and stop being kids yourselves.
Rant over.