All parents should pay to support their children
For over ten years I have brought up my two children single-handedly. I, like many other single parents have struggled to provide my children with a normal childhood.
A normal childhood I feel is one where the children are happy, safe and provided for financially. We have a relatively good life now, I work full time to provide us with a decent income which in turn pays the mortgage and provides for us as a family.
For eight of these ten years the children’s father has evaded his parental responsibility at a ratio of 99.9%. The children receive a phone call on their birthday and a card with £20 in it. Usually there are a couple of empty promises for instance “hope to see you soon” or “tried to contact you on Facebook but it didn’t work” or “we’ll catch up at Christmas”. They saw him for four hours one Christmas in 2008, his new wife kept ringing him to see when he would be back because she wanted to order them a take-away (his third wife). Both children have had their own phones for eight years as-well as a home phone, one child has been rung three times, the other at least twice.
They have learnt to detach themselves from the endless empty promises over the years and surrounded themselves with fantastic male role models. They are both very sociable and enjoy many team sports, none which their Father has seen, he refers to a sport which they did seven years ago when he phones on their birthday. They tell him every year which sports they do now but he never listens.
For the past five years I have been writing to my M.P. in the hope that he might take an interest in my case. It isn’t just my case either. This situation affects millions of families throughout the UK. If an absent parent (male or female) does not want to contribute towards the children they have created they do not have to. I’m sure many of your readers believe that there is a court system or an agency to deal with this sort of thing. There is absolutely no governing body in this country for children who are abandoned by a parent.
If a parent does not want to see or finance a child all they have to do is sign into the UK benefit system. It doesn’t really matter which benefit but as long as they put their name to it, it is an instant protection against any legal action or Government power. If you believe the absent parent is working cash in hand then do not waste your time telling the Inland Revenue or the Department of Work and Pensions they are not interested. These people are small fry to them, you could tell them the time the absent parent leaves for work every morning or you could phone their home and be told by family members that they’re at work. None of it matters to our Government. They would rather ignore all the twaddle and just pay you the odd £5.00 a week out of their benefit system, if you are lucky enough. It’s a sort of “That’ll keep him/her quiet” attitude. “At least you are getting something” I was once told.
When your absent parent signs into the benefit system at their local Job Centre there is no immediate alert that this parent is evading Child Support. The Child Support Agency is part of the Department of Work and Pensions which amazingly directs the Job Centre. They will completely deny the connection over the phone however their letters to myself are headed with two of these titles as recently as two months ago. It currently takes around 6 weeks to process a benefit claim which results in back pay for the claimant. When this back payment is made by cheque to the absent parent it has no deduction of Child support. For recent claimants you will be aware that after 12 weeks your payments may cease, if you haven’t actively sought work. This means that your children may receive £30.00 for the last 6 weeks of your claim. The Government are therefore rewarding the evasive parent with six weeks grace of their benefit claim. Any parent that can raise two children for six !
weeks on £30.00 step forward! I’d be in awe.
There is of course a much easier route, make all parents support their children! Our benefit system was designed as an income support for the short term unemployed and for people that were genuinely suffering hardship. Not for people to build their lives around it. I do not want my children to receive any handouts from the state. I would like their Father to be made to work legally and meet his financial responsibilities.
Should evasive parents find that they cannot work legally or through persistent laziness, then perhaps paid Community Service with a direct weekly deduction to support their children’s upbringing! Why are these evasive parents being completely ignored by the state and protected? There are many absent parents that start new families, or two new families, do you think this would be an option if they had to pay for all these children they create?
The enforcement measures that the Government put in place to tackle persistent non-payers has absolutely no power against our benefit system. Confiscating their passports will reduce their right to seek work outside of England, take their Driving Licence and you reduce the type of work they can look for, send the bailiffs in, you might as well they can’t take anything whilst they’re in receipt of benefit. Put them in prison-you can’t do that either, not while they are job-seeking. They can job seek for how ever many years they like. After a while your benefit payments are stopped, that doesn’t really matter if you are working cash in hand. You are still signed into the system and protected even though you are not directly receiving payment.
Millions of families are facing this cruel fate brought on by the most selfish act of one person. Our government are protecting these people and aiding them in their preferred lifestyle. There are many single parents who have chosen to provide and protect their children from the fate that another parent has decided, mainly because we would like our children to play a decent future role in society. Does the government recognise these children or their parents?
In a fair United Kingdom any parent who chooses to create a child then abandon them financially and emotionally would be brought to justice. After all it is a form of abuse. As for our ever accepting benefit system, if you are signed into the system but are no longer receiving payments then we should be questioning how you are living. Living off a spouse and his/her benefits is not financially possible on the amounts the Government are publicising, or is it? I wouldn’t know I work to support my children.
If anyone from the legal profession can offer a solution to this situation that affects so many families then please let us know.
189 thoughts on “All parents should pay to support their children”
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Oddly enough though… there are several PWC's who agree with my comments also….. and have commented as such as they also believe that child maintenance is for the child and not the PWC's retail therapy!!!There are several PWC's who believe that my provision for my child is addequate and also more than adequate as evidently commented by many of my female friends!!!!So why dislike my actions to which I have made comment to making provisions for my child and not the PWC?????
Melanie… I am so pleased you were able to provide the correct answer to my question in respect to the type of woman who recieves or expects to recieve monetory payments from a man for result of a sex act!!! Clearly you comment for all women expecting monetary payments from a man for result of a sex act being PROSTITUTES!!!!Your answer Melanie… I didnt provide the answer… you did!!!!
Melanie… if you dislike the activities of the CSA… why do you choose to use them for your tax free additional monetory gain?????
Annika… reply and excuse?????? reply yes…. excuse…no…. reason… yes!!!!!!! to provide for my child and not provide for PWC… yes!!!!Replies are always available if you request them evidently!!!!!!
Allan, seriously get a life, do you live on this site and make immature comments simply for the 'sport' to try to get a rise specifically out of female parents with care? Don't answer that, I think most people on here with a reasonable level of intelligence know the answer to that. Okay guys and gals, there are some other comments on here which are very constructive, supportive and helpful so let's just ignore the ones that aren't xx
Maxine…Seriously…. what a wonderful surprise to see you comment that I should get a life… I have a life that consists of several hobbies which includes responding to many PWC's who wish to dispute my comments and opinions…. also… why should I ignore their comments if they choose to respond to my comments, opinions and questions????? would it not be ignorant to disregard provocations for answers??????How is commenting on the provision to my child and not providing to my PWC for her retail therapy being immature?????Please state clearly and accurately!!!!
Melanie – best advice I can give about the so called comedian who thinks PWC are prostitutes – block him! I can no longer see any of his posts/rants/etc and its like a little slice of heaven on my laptop!
Just a reminder!!!! this forum is for sharing information of experience… are you therefore attempting to inform me I have no right to present my comments and exercising my right to the freedom of speech??????Do I deny yourself of that right???? If you choose to disregard my comments then surely you are entitled to exercise your right to the freedom of remaining silent?????Remind yaself of the forum for presenting your opinions in reference to difficulties with CSA and the greedy selfish arrogant PWC who collaborates with CSA for funding from NRP to support PWC's retail therapy!!!!Therefore, my comments and opinions are entitled a presentation on this forum…. Please feel free to continue to exercise your rights to freedom of speech or freedom to remain silent where appropriate!!!!
Bwoi… da fish are biting today…lol… landed also!!!!!!! big fish… small fish… summat fishy out there!!!!! ROFLMFAOOL!!!!!
The Bait is clearly addictive!!!!!
Clearly Maxine…. it's the sport!!!!
Who on earth said the fish dont bite much in winter…lol
So since you seem to think you are the expert which sort of PWC am i then you self opinionated moron? You don't know shit all about me yet you sit in judgement and assumption…. or why else would you assume I use the CSA for monetary gain? Nobody says you don't have a right to free speech but as far as ranting goes, most can fit their reply into a paragraph, you have trouble fitting your response into a novel so yes i think ranting is the perfect description of your response!
I am amazed that so many greedy PWC come on this site actually looking for support in there quest to destroy there ex the NRP!Wrong site girls this site is about the abhorrent incompetent child abusing father murdering child abuse agency and as such all the victims (children and NRP'S ) have NO sympathy for greedy PWC who are looking for blood as well as every penny the NRP has !
Melanie… clearly you present yourself as an opinionated moron in your responding in such manner as to accuse me of being an opinionated Moron….I sit in judgement and assumption???… well that's fresh innit!!! yet you judge and assume that I'm an opinionated moron and accuse me of being an irresponsible NRP??????……all because you do not approve of me reasons why I do not make provisions of finance to my PWC…… but make sure I provide financially in clothing and footwear for my child with inclusion of household amenities!!!!!!!!As for Novel… Your responses to my comments are clearly Novel!!!!!Rantings????? Clearly your last responding comment is a rant at my novels…ROFLMFOOL!!!!!!!Jem is correct in his comment…. and I'm absolutely sure there will be many comments that will provide co-oberative justifications that are clearly due in support of Jems comment!!!!!I also have no sympathy for selfish greedy arrogant PWC's!!!!!!!!!
PWC's who choose to react to my comments against only the Selfish, Greedy arrogant PWC's… NEED to take a long deep and meaningful look inside of themselves to see for themselves….. who they truly are!!!!!!!!
oooops! forgot to include Manipulative, Seflish, Greedy, Arrogant PWC's!!!!!!!
Looks like my novel isnt finished yet!!!!!
Alan, read through any of my posts and i think you will find I have on no occasion accused you of being an irresponsible NRP, my issue with you is only ever the way you speak to people on here. I have also neither approved nor have i disapproved of your choices in how to provide for your child. My 'Novel' comment related to the length of your ramblings and not to the content being fictitious, obviously you choose to read it in a detrimental way, my responses are never so long to you that you need to go to bed for a nap, make a cup of tea and have lunch in the middle of them so please explain what makes them not a rant? I see you declined to comment on your incorrect assumption that i choose to use the CSA for monetary gain, the only dealings I have chosen to have with the CSA is to help my daughters father fight his case to pay what he should and not the 31% of his net income he is currently having stolen from him every month, i choose to keep to a private arrangement that suits my childrens father. So to both you Alan and you Jem, please tell me how you are justifying classing me in with the 'Greedy PWC looking for support in my quest to destroy their ex, the NRP'. I am probably the kind of PWC most NRP would only dream of having, never complain, never stand in the way of unlimited access and EVERY SINGLE PENNY of the maintenance and Child benefit i receive goes into a separate account for use ONLY on my children. Oh and FYI Mr Morrell, I raise my children for the most part alone DESPITE having 3 different heart conditions, Raynauds Disease, a child with Autism and another child with Raynauds and behavioral problems, I think that entitles me to have my opinions don't you?
oh and also I know who i am and I am more than happy with me and my morals thank you!
I shall answer after the soaps melanie
& after Celebrity.. I am not evading answering… I assure you I have a ready available reply….Descriptively!!!!!!
oh I am sure you do! please use the soaps as an excuse to have a think that is fine…..
Melanie, i wouldn't even waste your time on him any longer, it was very interesting that Allan's ex partner contacted me today following the comments i have left in this post and the very rude unjustified responces that Allan has come back at me with. The facts are that Allan has NEVER supported any of his three children, has not paid a penny! So how he can accuse us PWC of spending his money on retail therapy is beyond me. Allan claims to be disabled and therefore cannot work, for the record this disability is 'Diabetes' hardly a disability but a condition that is controlled by medication. I know this as my father was diagnosed with diabetes last year at the age of 54. Allan, my father works full time doing a manual job as a plaster with my brother and works in all weathers as does a female colleague of mine that is diabetic. So lets now presume because of your medical condition and the fact you feel your diabetes prevents you from holding down employment, would i be correct in saying you receive Employment and Support Allowance and therefore contribute a mere £5 per week from your benefit to be shared between your three children? So you claim to clothe them and provide them with shoes – how do you do this on £5 p/w split between three children. Your eldest child you have never had contact with so lets start telling the truth shall we Allan rather than trying to build an unrealistic picture of how you wish you had acted as a father. There are always two sides to a story and your's is unfolding rapidly to be the total opposite of that, that you have stated as detailed by the PWC of YOUR children. Let's now refer to the comments of PWC undertaking a sex act to then claim regular payments – sex act eh? The sex act you so performed by cheating on your ex partner when your daughter was 4 weeks old… Well it was a very random statement to make Allan and wasn't at all fitting with the topic that was being raised in this post. It obviously was raised by yourself with some history of guilt perhaps! Your reply?
The truth now be known!
Apologies, there is a 4th child. Please accept that iam sorry i missed your 19 year old that you have NEVER met nor supported. So 4 children and no contact. What a great example. But you cant travel, i understand as your diabetes prevents you.
Annika… I look forward to replying to your comment too in reference where you allege my three children are with one NRP and in reference to my diabetes in your issue…. Type 1 sweetheart, I am used to foundry work…. Besides the issue I am an artist, of which clearly my PWC would confirm is such was to be true and I have commented on my diabetes before!!!!Plus I was paying via CSA when I was working…… which your alleged contact also would have commented!!!!However you refer to comments also of my eldest child who resides with me every weekend and throughout the holidays????? However! I do not contribute £5 at all not for 3 not for 2 not for 1……Yes I have cheated on a few of my ex's and I dont deny it either….Maybe if you didnt listen to women who would like to be involved who have obviously scrutinised all my comment could well reveal a very impressive story yet untrue!!!!However, considering I have three ex-wives…. which one of these 3 do you believe it to be??????
Thankyou iam now satisfied that you arn't the perfect NRP of which you attempted to paint the picture. I now am able to leave this post with much glee. Do take care!
Wow Alan, CSA hell, you should be on fathers from hell with that record? I cannot understand at all why you are so bitter and twisted, you seem absorbed in this site and it eats you up, you spend every waking minute on here and filling your life with bitterness. I think you need to take some time away from your computer and see a Counsellor who can maybe get your head straight.
You clearly assume you are correct as no evidence is clearly presented to support your ammusing comment…..Considering I have to question you with the following issues that prove your assumptions correct or incorrect!!!!Do all my children live with the same PWC????If so which one ofmy ex-wives is the PWC????Who did I cheat on and cheat with when my daughter was aged four weeks old??????Do I have shared care with my other kids or is it all three I have no shared care responsibilities with….???????I know you have built a very believable story but please… the EVIDENCE!!!!!!! Just to prove to everyone that your story to be true or untrue!!!!!!!!!!!
Also I think next time you want to have kids Alan, don't unless you are REALLY sure this time that you are committed to the mother and can support them and your other kids. You clearly arent committed to any of the ladies you have created children with in the past and have left devastation behind you in terms of broken homes.
Melanie… I shall have to disect your long winded paragraph to answer your comments!!!!Alan, read through any of my posts and i think you will find I have on no occasion accused you of being an irresponsible NRP, my issue with you is only ever the way you speak to people on here. I have also neither approved nor have i disapp…roved of your choices in how to provide for your child. My 'Novel' comment related to the length of your ramblings and not to the content being fictitious, obviously you choose to read it in a detrimental way, my responses are never so long to you that you need to go to bed for a nap, make a cup of tea and have lunch in the middle of them so please explain what makes them not a rant? I see you declined to comment on your incorrect assumption that i choose to use the CSA for monetary gain, the only dealings I have chosen to have with the CSA is to help my daughters father fight his case to pay what he should and not the 31% of his net income he is currently having stolen from him every month, i choose to keep to a private arrangement that suits my childrens father. So to both you Alan and you Jem, please tell me how you are justifying classing me in with the 'Greedy PWC looking for support in my quest to destroy their ex, the NRP'.My comment is in relation to your support for selfish greedy arrogant PWC's by responding to comments I make to those PWC's…. to support is to agree and therefore by such voice of agreement support is clearly an indication that you are all of the same voice that you declare the monies in the manner to use as they desire rather than for the child!!!!In reference to my rant as you choose to declare…. I freely present my opinions, responses and other comments as entitled whether that offends is not my concern, either accept my free voice or dont, you choose to approach in argument… I have no displeasure in responding as you wish to provoke!!!! I am probably the kind of PWC most NRP would only dream of having, never complain,My comment: You clearly complain that I make a novel of my rants!!!! never stand in the way of unlimited access and EVERY SINGLE PENNY of the maintenance and Child benefit i receive goes into a separate account for use ONLY on my children. Oh and FYI Mr Morrell, I raise my children for the most part alone DESPITE having 3 different heart conditions, Raynauds Disease, a child with Autism and another child with Raynauds and behavioral problems, I think that entitles me to have my opinions don't you?Your final comment is clearly commendable Melanie!!!!!
Would Rude and Obnoxious describe me as an irresponsible NRP???I rest my case on the assumption of my being Rude and obnoxious!!!!!
Annika… I have to say I like my questions as I will not give the truth away till you present your unfounded allegations for what they truly are… I look forward to your reply!!!!!!
I must state that the facts detailed in my posts are views provided to me via an email by the ex partner of Allan and i shall therefore not respond to any further questions it is not for me to provide answers on their relationship etc. Allan may i suggest you discuss this with the ex-wife (whichever one!)
Another question Annika… which part of preston does this alleged ex-partner live in????? or which part of Liverpool does she live in????????In fact… I would assume a name would provide the evidence too!!!!!
Explain if I do not have shared care with my eldest Son…. why is he here weekends and Holidays?????Why is it I am nil assessed????? for 3 children as you say…. what about the other 2 I have not mentioned??????How about the issue of why I split with my ex????? any issues there too??????Come on…..!!!! it takes evidence to make a story true!!!!My experience of criminal proceedings is evidence of such requirement of evidence to support your ridiculous laughable accusations which you presented in this post!!!!!
I shall not provide any names on this site to ensure the privacy of your children though you have admitted that yes you have cheated and yes you have more than one ex wife. You also agree you have 4 children which if all true would make them facts? Yes? We do not need the in's and out's, the basic's are good enough for us to build a picture in our own minds of the type of NRP you may be. This site is for the truth to be known and not for liars. We are after all fighting the same battle, to ensure the future of our children is a secure one with the assistance of both parents.
Annika!!! you can bullshit as much as you like about emails and issues of relationships…. evasive by no means!!!!! And as for fabrication, a clear resemblance to the abilities of Manipulative Selfish greedy arrogant PWC's… you certainly fit the title….. As for comment regarding which ex-wife …. only one ex-wife has 1 child with me… and that child is supported by provision of Clothing and footwear!!! as for my two children I do not see or provide financial support for… please provide their whereabouts so that I can continue my pursuit of contact….. Clearly you are unable to provide as such due to the fabricatd allegations you have presented already!!!!!
Rude and obnoxious describes your manners and how you speak to and about other people on here it does in no way relate to your actions as an NRP. I don't think on any occasion I have been supportive of irresponsible PWC's who give others a bad name, Any PWC who uses their children as a weapon against the NRP is immoral as is using the money for things that are not in the interests of the child. But i fail to see how me commenting and replying to your posts means I am supporting the actions of these people?My response is in no way meant as provokation, it is merely MY right to a free voice and opinion, the fact that you feel the need to respond and justify your comments, points to you, also choosing to argue and provoke does it not?Loving your interpretation of the paragraph containing, 'I never complain', that is about my ex and our arrangement, complaining about your postings is entirely irrelevent, i merely state that your responses could be bound and published as a book sometimes, i guess, it is difficult for you to express yourself in shorter verse never mind. :-)(although on this occasion I will let you off since you have taken sizable chunks of my post and used them to bulk yours out…. perhaps a little short of things to say this time?)Sorry i rested my case on the rude and obnoxious in a previous post…. you just continue to back this observation with further posts do you not, still it is all a matter of opinion I am just voicing mine in the way you voice yours!
19 year old child.?????????.. wow news to me!!!!
although perhaps i do so in a more ploite way 🙂
polite* it's getting late 🙂
Here we go again, insulting me.. Go and learn how to speak to people politely Allan as several people have highlighted, you are very arrogant and aggressive. You can express your opinions without the need for insults and aggression. No amount of talking will overturn your belief that we are ALL selfish, greedy PWC so i shall leave it for other members of this site to now judge.
try again Annika sweety…….. I beleive I was in a relationship with a woman 10 years older than myself…. who had 2 children of her own… we never had 1 together…… Now where was I living just then???????? please verify!!!!!!!yeah!!… and who exactly is this alleged 19 year olds PWC?????????Another failure from our devoted Annika!!!!I suggest a collection of facts should be gathered prior to fabrications in a feeble attempt to discredit someone with such pathic drivvel…lolConsidering I have a continued case of shared care with my eldest who would clearly be prepared to comment on your comments in such a foul manner as I permit accordingly….. Yes I encourage him to reveal his opinions and to exercise his rights to the freedom of speech!!!!!Anyway!!! I will enjoy the results of your comments accordingly both those that will be presented and those that have already been presented!!!!!
Oddly Melanie… there are several people who clearly have commented that my son and I am a very polite pair of lovable rogues…. comments by staff of Sainsburies, Asda, George, Primark, Greggs, Maplins, Tesco's and from local neighbours!!!!!!!!Must be towards just the Manipulative Selfish arrogant greedy PWC's that I make comment to in order to provoke themselves to find me obnoxious, Aggresive…. I admit Arrogance of cause!!!! and that only to them I am clearly unpolite!!!!!ROFLMFAOOL!!!!!!Annika… what 4th child? that was a discreditor input that I used to discredit your allegations, continue to judge accordingly!!!Yes I did cheat… part of my history that I am a cheat according to an ex… however! I am a serial flirt and for that I have been accused of cheating also!!!!How about the disputes with selfish lazy ex-partner???? who being disrespectfull, taking me for granted, violent, Manipulative, selfish and greedy!!!!Separation due to an ex-partner cheating… and she…. I did not cheat on!!!!Another who was always argumentative, and being a secret cocaine and amphetamine addict?????Another an alcoholic who I tried to help?????Hmmmmmm! would you stay with a man of the same nature??? or would you choose to leave…. My cheating days were an issue in history…. so please present which part of my history….Sure let others judge me and also judge you for your lame allegations…lol
Go ahead Allan and put your ex-partner right. Dont let me stop you. Let the other members on here know the TRUE facts go ahead. May i also point how "in such a foul manner" you are happy for your son to comment – you encourage foul language from your children do you? Perfect figure to look up to. I tell you what, don't state the facts actually as non of us are interested and speaking for myself 'im more than bored of you now' keep up the great work! Perfect father!
Annika… did I say foul language??????? I dont think so… but clearly a foul mood would errupt if he saw your comments of disrespect for his father…lolI am happy to allow him to speek freely and to have opinions… I never used any comment in regards to foul language!!!!!
I suggest you use the facts first in relation to comments about my children…..
Why would you expect me to jump to your demands that I be polite???Sorry sweet heart… No compliance!!!!!!