All parents should pay to support their children
For over ten years I have brought up my two children single-handedly. I, like many other single parents have struggled to provide my children with a normal childhood.
A normal childhood I feel is one where the children are happy, safe and provided for financially. We have a relatively good life now, I work full time to provide us with a decent income which in turn pays the mortgage and provides for us as a family.
For eight of these ten years the children’s father has evaded his parental responsibility at a ratio of 99.9%. The children receive a phone call on their birthday and a card with £20 in it. Usually there are a couple of empty promises for instance “hope to see you soon” or “tried to contact you on Facebook but it didn’t work” or “we’ll catch up at Christmas”. They saw him for four hours one Christmas in 2008, his new wife kept ringing him to see when he would be back because she wanted to order them a take-away (his third wife). Both children have had their own phones for eight years as-well as a home phone, one child has been rung three times, the other at least twice.
They have learnt to detach themselves from the endless empty promises over the years and surrounded themselves with fantastic male role models. They are both very sociable and enjoy many team sports, none which their Father has seen, he refers to a sport which they did seven years ago when he phones on their birthday. They tell him every year which sports they do now but he never listens.
For the past five years I have been writing to my M.P. in the hope that he might take an interest in my case. It isn’t just my case either. This situation affects millions of families throughout the UK. If an absent parent (male or female) does not want to contribute towards the children they have created they do not have to. I’m sure many of your readers believe that there is a court system or an agency to deal with this sort of thing. There is absolutely no governing body in this country for children who are abandoned by a parent.
If a parent does not want to see or finance a child all they have to do is sign into the UK benefit system. It doesn’t really matter which benefit but as long as they put their name to it, it is an instant protection against any legal action or Government power. If you believe the absent parent is working cash in hand then do not waste your time telling the Inland Revenue or the Department of Work and Pensions they are not interested. These people are small fry to them, you could tell them the time the absent parent leaves for work every morning or you could phone their home and be told by family members that they’re at work. None of it matters to our Government. They would rather ignore all the twaddle and just pay you the odd £5.00 a week out of their benefit system, if you are lucky enough. It’s a sort of “That’ll keep him/her quiet” attitude. “At least you are getting something” I was once told.
When your absent parent signs into the benefit system at their local Job Centre there is no immediate alert that this parent is evading Child Support. The Child Support Agency is part of the Department of Work and Pensions which amazingly directs the Job Centre. They will completely deny the connection over the phone however their letters to myself are headed with two of these titles as recently as two months ago. It currently takes around 6 weeks to process a benefit claim which results in back pay for the claimant. When this back payment is made by cheque to the absent parent it has no deduction of Child support. For recent claimants you will be aware that after 12 weeks your payments may cease, if you haven’t actively sought work. This means that your children may receive £30.00 for the last 6 weeks of your claim. The Government are therefore rewarding the evasive parent with six weeks grace of their benefit claim. Any parent that can raise two children for six !
weeks on £30.00 step forward! I’d be in awe.
There is of course a much easier route, make all parents support their children! Our benefit system was designed as an income support for the short term unemployed and for people that were genuinely suffering hardship. Not for people to build their lives around it. I do not want my children to receive any handouts from the state. I would like their Father to be made to work legally and meet his financial responsibilities.
Should evasive parents find that they cannot work legally or through persistent laziness, then perhaps paid Community Service with a direct weekly deduction to support their children’s upbringing! Why are these evasive parents being completely ignored by the state and protected? There are many absent parents that start new families, or two new families, do you think this would be an option if they had to pay for all these children they create?
The enforcement measures that the Government put in place to tackle persistent non-payers has absolutely no power against our benefit system. Confiscating their passports will reduce their right to seek work outside of England, take their Driving Licence and you reduce the type of work they can look for, send the bailiffs in, you might as well they can’t take anything whilst they’re in receipt of benefit. Put them in prison-you can’t do that either, not while they are job-seeking. They can job seek for how ever many years they like. After a while your benefit payments are stopped, that doesn’t really matter if you are working cash in hand. You are still signed into the system and protected even though you are not directly receiving payment.
Millions of families are facing this cruel fate brought on by the most selfish act of one person. Our government are protecting these people and aiding them in their preferred lifestyle. There are many single parents who have chosen to provide and protect their children from the fate that another parent has decided, mainly because we would like our children to play a decent future role in society. Does the government recognise these children or their parents?
In a fair United Kingdom any parent who chooses to create a child then abandon them financially and emotionally would be brought to justice. After all it is a form of abuse. As for our ever accepting benefit system, if you are signed into the system but are no longer receiving payments then we should be questioning how you are living. Living off a spouse and his/her benefits is not financially possible on the amounts the Government are publicising, or is it? I wouldn’t know I work to support my children.
If anyone from the legal profession can offer a solution to this situation that affects so many families then please let us know.
189 thoughts on “All parents should pay to support their children”
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speak sorry in comment prior to above
His foul manner I refer to will be his disgust!!!!!
"my eldest who would clearly be prepared to comment on your comments in such a foul manner as I permit accordingly.." – suffer from alzheimers too?
Perfect father???? I'm pleased to say my son is likely to agree with you!!!!
If he says… stupid cheeky bitch… I'm likely to agree!!!!
I feel i've won this argument so before people start to get bored of reading any more of your rubbish, may i say goodnight and god bless!
Still awaiting comment on my 5th child now you'v located the fourth alleged child of 19… surely that would indicate now to be 5 children, the numbers seem to be going up!!!!!! I commented 5 children… surely summat the PWC you allege will confirm!!!!!Won the argument?….. no presentation of evidence, contradictory comments to my responsibilities.. yes I have commented I have Diabetes….. and also commented I am also Disabled…… several times on many posts I would suspect!!!!!The clear picture is always present as the truth because it is the Truth cannot defy the fact that I have shared care of my eldest child weekends and the holidays… I purchase clothes and footwear as and when required and having informed the PWC to let me know about things he might need so that I shall get them… we discuss issues of what she is providing and what I provide…..I do not provide financially to the other PWC as I am nil assessed… My diabetes is being managed by medication. I am disabled…………. I am at risk of Hypogleaceamia…. becomeing dizzy… disorrientated…being a danger to myself and others…… I exercise and walk my dogs every morning and evening, do my housework… several occasions I'v had Hypo's……. I also know a lady on the dog walks who also is diabetic and walks her dogs… I also know another disabled guy who walks his dog!!!! I also support NRP's who are having it worse than myself… that's how selfish I am!!!! a point clearly making me an irresponsible father????????My providing of support for fathers who are denied access to their children…….just so that the PWC benefits and not the child…..this because the CSA do not support the NRP by their activities of theft and Fraud plus further attempts of theft and Fraudulent activity to add on top of the crimes of the CSA…I have dealt with many of my own issues with CSA…. and I will continue to make sure my eldest is provided for while I continue to send Birthday and xmas presents to my others!!!! I happily provide Clothing and footwear for my eldest child from my own income…… food, general household amenities…. Share interests and provided both emotionally and financially!!!!!Yeah … I suspect the following actions in reference to who will judge who accordingly will arrive in due time sweety!!!!!!!!Considering the final Blow!!!!!! before GAME OVER!!!! if their was the slightest doubt ever to be raised about an alleged ex-partner of mine or just a fabrication.. (lets allow all of the viewers to judge accordingly eh!!!!!) of an alleged partner… how can you be so sure that such a comment provided by your alleged.. and lets face it ALLEGED email you allegedy recieved… what could possibly make you so possitively sure that such a person was to be an ex or just pretending to be an ex… lets face it the question WHY????How many selfish arrogant greedy manipulative PWC's have I offended on here????????Wake up girl, if such an alleged email was recieved to only one PWC on here rather than send individual emails to each and every person on this site in order to discredit myself of being a caring, loving NRP to my eldest child and any of my other children…. you clearly have been very used…..What???? You've never been USED???????? Hmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!You have no evidence… want me to provide mine???????? we'll make an arrangement for you to meet myself and my eldest out shopping via PM on here!!!!!! then you can ask him if he thinks I'm a good father or not…. I wont disappoint you… Promise!!!!!!
In fact invite your alleged emailer while you're at it eh??????
I suggest you accept my "GAME OVER" comment… the public can make their own decisions….. You have no need to be arrogant amongst friends here by arrogantly (LOOK AT MEEEEEE type of attitude!!!!!) attempting to declare you have won the argument… I have no need to declare my arrogance of I'v won. like yaself with your impression of….. I'm so clever blah blah, gloat gloat!!!!!!!!!!!The viewers will decide for themselves!!!!! Anyone with common sense will figure it out…I'll bet several PWC's I'v befriended will also figure out who wins this argument….. Just like leaving it to the jury eh wouldnt you say Annika????????
Please feel free to raise any further issues you wish to present….I appreciate your explanation where you comment in reference to not supporting irresponsible PWC's were I comment on manipulative, arrogant , selfish PWC's and your support… however you admit that you chose to react to my manners…. I felt no need for presenting manners to anyone… if you choose to take offence… by all means do… but for that declaration of not supporting irresponsible PWC's is noted… an apology is presented… no apologies are provided for your allegations and responses for those allegations you chose to use….Yes… I am sure your children love you as much as mine do me in reference to opinions relating to our comments…..but still…… dont be arrogant about ya win… let the public jury decide who they prefer to state……who won the argument!!!!!!!!!
I was actually under the impression that this started off with issues relating to the freedom of speech then oddly enough I remember the allegations by accusation of being an irresponsible NRP…….How is a foul mood of disgust comparative to foul language??????When have I taught any of my children to use foul language????Have I always taught my son good manners?????Hmmmmm! lets all base it on the fact I am an NRP who has cheated in the past and left PWC's with the care of my children…. maybe I shoulda took them with me living in my car for several weeks cold and hungry eh Annika…lol how about the one down south who I left because of the constant splits… myself having to live on the streets to get away from her bitchiness…. several weeks at a time until I found somewhere else to live…. then turns out she is pregnant with my child so we try to patch things up… but it just couldnt work out for us… we part on amicable turns!!!!!! U still ant told me bout my 5th child yet Annika!!!!!
How old are my 4th and 5th child Annika?????? maybe you could correct the 4th child while u'r at it eh!!!!!
My god i have been looking through a few of the stories on here and am gobsmacked at the cheek of this man who calls himself a father, have you nothing better to do than sit on here day and night slagging off every woman who dares to put a comment on here!maybe if you put as much effort into your children as you do slagging off women you might actually be a half decent dad!
sarah… your comment is almost as amusing as Annikas…ROFLMAO!!!Annika, I'm still waiting to play the bonus round thats due… I still have a further combo attack to out to use against your argument you chose to proceed with…Sarah….Excuse as a father lol… tell that one to my child lol…..DAy and night my dear.. I'll sleep when I'm dead…lol
Slagging off every woman?????? I only slag off the selfish manipulative arrogant greedy PWC. and the abhorrent child abusing father murdering fraudulently theiving CSA.. not every woman Sarah…I suggest an accumulation of facts prior to your outburst in mid convo…lollook forward to further silly responses from you sarah!!!!
As for a half decent dad, get ya facts right again….. I always make sure my child maintenance supports my child …..and not in support of the PWC's retail therapy!!!!!
I provide my son by buying his clothes and footwear during shared care arrangements while I remail nil assessed by CSA!!!!My child benefits… the PWC does not!!!!!!
Allan do you have proof that your ex partner spends the money on her retail therapy, if not then be quiet as you sound paranoid!
well as far as i can make out allan you have type 1 diabetes so are not working therefore only paying £5 pw for your kids! and as for not slagging off all woman maybe you dont just the ones that come on here and dare to disagree with you, as i recall you have called quite a few women men haters, when in actual fact you seem to be the one with all the hatred on here not the women ! so would that make you a woman hater then allan? this site is designed for men and women alike to get support and advice not to be had a go at when you dare to tell your story!
Pauline… me ex does not spend monies on retail therapy when I provide clothing and footwear directly to my child….I know my PWC's spending habits… And the evidence has been clear during the times I was making those CSA payments…She is now unable to use any CSA payments for her retail therapy as she does not recieve any CSA payments..
Sarah… I do not pay CSA payments… I have shared care and am nil assessed… However! I still manage to provide clothes and footwear regularly… all household amenities and the fuel costs for transport…Its called effective budgeting….the issue of those that choose to disagree with me is not the cause of concern but choose to start an argument… I will return the pleasure..Slagging off????I see… the woman who receives or expects to recieve monetary payments from a man for results of a sex act…….. Is that slagging women off????? And there was me thinking there was relevance to the issue where PWC's collaborate with CSA for her desire and need of tax free additional income on her earnings…If you find it hard being female PWC's… hand custody to father NRP and them see how hard it is to budget effectively to raise your children… also let NRP make private financial arrangements for child maintenance issues….PWC's problem finding it hard to financially support the kids wouldnt be such a problem any more would it????????NRP's can then experience this tough life the PWC claims they have!!!Maybe the NRP should really become the PWC… so that way the current PWC can see how the current NRP has it thanks to manipulative selfish greedy arrogant PWC's..Why would you say..that wont be beneficial as you will no longer receive CSA payments???????Oooooh!!!! I see…. back to the issue of money…. the god of greed!!! much wants more… greed begets greed….If you find it hard being the PWC… give the NRP the chance to raise your child!!! problem solved!!!!Not possible????? is that because ya eyes are on the MONEY MONEY MONEY!!!!!!Evidently so… its all about the money… not the welfare of ya chilf huh?????
If I wanted to slag women off all day… I'd do it… as for paranoia!!!!why is it the PWC's who chose to dislike my comments and opinions react as if I was directing my comments at all women and not just the manipulative, selfish arrogant deceitfull greedy PWC…Is that retaliation not induced by paranoia???? I believe by the evidence displayed and presented clearly such responses are made due to PWC paranoia!!!!!!! And you think I'm paranoid…. haha…ROFLMFAOOL!!!!!!
Sarah… DARE to tell a story???????? Hmmmmmm!!!!Woman hater, I love all women……. clearly… I appreciate the shape and form…. such art…..I think it differs only in the matter of personality wher I have dislike or like for a woman!!!! So no I* aint a woman hater sweety!!!!!
Me Hatred… I approach PWC with comment… any other women would like to start an argument????? clearly approach!!!!!They choose to want one… I provide what is requested!! how is that me hating women?????????
Also this site is for sharing experiences about PWC and CSA!!!lets face it without PWC… why are we involved woith issues of CSA…I also support all NRP's who are having a harder time with CSA than I am!!!!!!! respectively a comment of a poor support for PWC's who want the money to pay their household bills or retail therapy rather than on provisions for the child which the NRP could provide to prevent PWC of worrying about purchasing clothing and footwear….
Pauline… I do not respond to any woman telling me to hold my tongue… Silence??????? dont think I will silent myself for any woman!!!! is that a woman hating comment… ok… I wont silence myself for any woman or man… I will silence myself as and when I choose… not when I'm told!!!!! could'v asked but still you told me….No compliance!!!!!
I dont see how HATRED CORRESPONDS WITH PRESENTING MY OPINIONS…If you choose to have an argument with me… I will oblige in your favour to have 1…. if you choose to exhonerate yaself of the type of PWC I dislike… then of cause you wont be slagged off!!!!!
I see no problem with my bitchin a bitching!!!!!
Oddly enough maxine you choose to end up on every page 2…lol
Alan, i have just read your other statements and oh my gosh, a sex act? Is that how children are made or not out of love? So no woman should recieve maintenance because of a sex act. The money goes toward your child and the costs yes the co…sts! School trips, dinner money, socks, food etc etc etc. If it was a sex act, why did you not wear a condom? You are a misogynist who has a deep hatred of women and yourself for that matter. There is no need to disrespect the woman who gave birth to your child and who is raising him.What do you think goes into a welfare of a child aqnd when you signed the birth certificate, do you realise what you were signing. PARENTEL RESPONSIBILITY look it up as a father you should help, if your ex spends her money on herself and bills etc it is none of your business and what you spend your money on is none of hers, some abusers use money as a way of control even at a distant. Grow up and stop being so bitter. Now you spend the money on he child, are you happy now? You love women but a sex act justifies your hatred to your ex, if both your personalities do not mix, get over it and concentrate on your child and not her, it seems you are letting your own personal feelings towards ex get in the way of being a good father. Alan you do not scare me so please go ahead and make my day:)
allan if ur problems are so sorted why come on here.and if sarah told you my story you would gringe sarah happens to be my partner and i totally agree with wot she has said
Pauline… in relation to issues of scaring… Have I ever indicated my comments are supposed to be scary????In relation to monetary issue… clearly not your concern either!!!!! but the concern of myself and my children involved!!!In relation to issues of other NRP's who suffer at the hands of PWC and CSA… I fully sympathise because their NRP's want more than NRP can afford therefore affecting all NRP and NRPP's children… to wich the CSA and PWC have caused by collaboration with CSA!!!!
CSA setup posting !!!
You know when you hit the truth cuz my previous posts deleted !!
Christopher and Sarah! I am entitled to make comments in support of NRP's in a worse situation than I…. I also provide response to any Bitter PWC prepared to argue or encourage an argumewnt woith any comments they present in my direction….I respond on here with my support for other NRP's who are suffering financially and emotionally as I have been in similar situations as they!!!I respond in my spare time while fatherly time is always applied during shared care and by leaving my door open and welcoming to my children when they discover they are no longer able to cope with my PWC's arrogant attitudes to myself,, my children and others!!!!!!!I am entitled to respond to any disagreements to my opinions… we are all entitled to the freedom of speech and views to opinions and entitled to voice such opinions accordingly to comment made to oppose opinions…As for sex act!!!! even in love…. a sex act commited…. just for you I will reword it… an intimate act!!!!!!!However! relating to ex's in forms of intimacy… both are responsible for precautions not just the man… not just the woman…. Condoms split…. I have several experiences of that… result..Pregnancy… planned or unplanned… sometimes it is planned by 1 partner by deceiving the other that precautions are already in existence but not… a point of trust????????Love does not involve deception…. I always make partner aware I am capable of cheating, I always inform partner of other children…Love does not involve arrogance, selfishness, manipulation or greed… so if love was involved… explain as to the issues relevant but not presented in relationship by ex!!!!Love involves understanding, compassion and respect… not provided by ex partner… who still does not recieve any contributions yet the children receive birthdays and xmas while I apply shared care with my eldest….I will continue to support NRP's going through a hard time at the hands of PWC's who want more than NRP can afford to provide….All CSA payments applied while working as CSA calculated outside of their illegal calculations have been made but at current I am unable to pay any arrears due to shared care arrangements and by nil assessments….I choose to use spare time to provide support… If PWC's are prepared to spend time arguing with me… I will happily oblige their requests to do so!!!!I hope my answers are sufficient to your queries!!!!
Pauline… I do and always will provide to my children as I can financially and emotionally……Any comments you choose to use in argument will have their required responses from myself!!!!I have not chosen to exercise my rights to the freedom of remaining silent and will continue to maintain exercising of the right to the freedom of speech… any further queries you may have.. please feel free to present them, I will respond accordingly and in the same manner which you choose to present them!!!!
As for comments referring to my hatred!!!! I have no hatred, just disagreements solely and intentionally for WC's who demand more than the NRP can afford….. PWC's who are prepared to finance retail therapy rather than their child…. or the possibility available that PWC's who find it difficult to cope could well do the decent thing and allow NRP to support the children in agreement of shared care and the NRP providing clothing and footwear so the PWC neednt worry about their budgeting skills or lack of… in several cases as evident in comments presented by many PWC's…I am happy if such maintenance is provided in the best interests and support of welfare of the child rather than the PWC…. The CSA only guarantees the PWC… not the child… I am not happy with that guarantee!!!!!! I prefer a guarantee that my child will benefit… I have assured the position that my child in now benefiting from my income and not the PWC!!!!!I can guarantee that one of my ex's will fund her drug habit if I provided monetory support, clearly not in the best interests of the children really is it????????
Sorry Pauline..this comment needs adjustment and should have been presented as the following;. in relation to issues of scaring… Have I ever indicated my comments are supposed to be scary????In relation to monetary issue… clearly not your concern either!!!!! but the concern of myself and my children involved!!!In relation to issues of other NRP's who suffer at the hands of PWC and CSA… I fully sympathise because their PWC's want more than NRP can afford therefore affecting all NRP and NRPP's children… to which the CSA and PWC have caused by collaboration with CSA!!!!See More36 minutes ago · LikeUnlike
Clearly some feel I have a hatred to all women, some feel I have a hatred to women who oppose my opinions…I just have a hatred to women who are unreasonable and uncaring as to how the NRP's life is treaded upon by arrogant unreasoanable, sefish greedy PWC's!!!!!!If I oppose an opinion… I will state my opposition as entitled!!!!!I hope such issues to your queries are now satisfied!!!
Annika… Bonus round still needs playing… looking forward to your entering of credits to continue the game!!!!!
Simply because thereare way too many discrepancies and consistent flawes in your comments….Maybe a chance to put your argument to rest…… through lack of evidence also…. it requires putting to sleep… this argument aint over yet….How many sons and daughters do I have… what are their ages… wher in the UK do they live?????Which ones I see or dont see and why….???? Which PWC is hellbent on preventing contact agreements being actioned…. which PWC is non compliant to contact arrangements… which 1 is the druggie?????Still no answers available… I wonder why!!!!!!!
who did I cheat on and why???? all answers are awaiting your response accordingly!!!!!
Annika…. feel free to present answers accordingly!!!!!
As for those providing instruction to myself in reference to concentrating on being a parent… I suggest acceptance in relation the same instructions to yourselves respectively….. therefore to heed your own advice!!!!I am quite capable of concentrating on being a father…. and also commenting on this forum… clearly yourselves that provide such instruction should be able to… yaselves!!!!!!!I do not deny you of presentation of opinions….. clearly I expect the same in return!!!!! why react to comments that dont include you?????Hmmmmmm!!!!!maybe a moment that you selfish greedy manipulative arrogant PWC's should ponder for concerns to those who do not come under the description I present!!!!!No point allowing the non selfish PWC to be tarred with same brush!!!
Yes Alan a sex act or intimate act whichever way you want to word it, you pay for the consequence as an adult, which is your child, end of. Which you do of course. You buy your son his bits and attend to his needs as you put it, no problem. But Alan once we come on a website like facebook and openly share our personal lives and experience with others we become open to criticism of all kinds and people who hold opposing views and who may not necessariy agree! So maybe you felt you were paying too much and maybe your ex felt like you paid too little. Different strokes for different folks! So Alan if you cannot handle the public scrutiny, may i suggest you allow another who can truly help without all the hate. As all you are doing winding everyone up rather than creating compassionately an avenue or door of opporunity where effective communication can occur where both parties can see the other side. Your filled with rage and it perpetuates throughout this page and then you wonder why you get the responses you do? You confuse me anyway take care and practice what you preach :)l
I am happy to open critisisms… maybe the seeds will fall somewhere fertile!!!!!I will still continue my support for all NRP's who suffer at hands of arrogant greedy selfish PWC's who collaborate with the CSA!!!!I have had my reasons for my historical activities and by that I mean leaving PWC's and providing emotional and financial support to my children!!!!!!I will continue to provide responses to PWC's intent on argument with myself!!!! I will not fail and will not fall to the attempts of critisism and intentions of discredit to my actions!!!!!!!!I will continue to provide my opinions whether they be scrutinised or condemned!!!!!! I will respond in any manner presented in opposition to my opinions!!!!!!I will continue to fight for the removal and closure of the CSA… like advent calenders… their days are numbered!!!!!!
Winding up is my forte!!!!! It creates material for future production of entertainment!!! All for the sake of entertainment… If I couldnt handle it… I would remain silent… evidently… I aint silent!!!!!!!
Those that wish to be wound up… will be wound up, this is not an issue of hatred!!!!!! Contempt maybe… Hatred… deffinitely not!!!!!I will pursue any critisism as it deserves!!!!!!
Contempt leads to anger, anger leads to fear, fear leads to hate, hate leads… to the dark side. Believe in the Force you must."
Alan you are well on your way if you are not already there, as compasion and contempt cannot lie side by side. Know thyself