We share custody 50/50 but I still pay CSA

March 2, 2010

I have been split from the mother of my 2 children for nearly 3 years and she is constantly chasing me with CSA.

When we split we both agreed to shared custody of the children so they stay with may 7 nights out of 14 (of which the CSA are aware as they have been told this by both me ex partner and me). My ex partner recieves the child benefits and claims working tax credits with my children on the claim (i cant).

I was out of work until 6 months ago and my employees have told me the CSA have written to them for my wage details as i need to pay CSA. Do you think it is fair if this is registered has shared custody when she receives all benefits already, i thought the CSA was set up for dads who didnt contribute when i quite clearly do, bought all school uniforms, jackets, shoes as a father should but it seems to me the system is open for abuse as my ex partner says i deserve as ive met someone else. It’s a system set up for mothers no matter what the circumstance.


  • Brokenfather says:

    The CSA system was not designed to cope with genuine joint parenting. It has to deem one a resident parent and the other a non-resident parent. If care is equal then whoever gets the child benefit is deemed the resident parent.

    Of course, the real bad guy is her. Nobody is forcing her to apply to the CSA, she is doing so for her own selfish reasons …..

    The CSA just provides her with a free weapon!

  • kerry says:

    Hi, I had to respond to your post, I to have a shared residency order 50/50 share is the what is best for our kids so they get to equal amounts of love from both parents.

    I have sent the court order to the CSA which they have totally disregarded, this is a legal document.My ex has shall I say misinformed the CSA of overnight stays, I now have big arrears as I laughed when they first contacted me as I thought it was a joke. I now pay 30% of my wages.

    my ex too is claiming the child benefits and tax credits, as has gone on to have more children.I don’t claim a bean.

    I too provide all clothes and holidays, even down to toiletries.

    But please don’t think its just women who does this.

    I am a mum, they want more money, and even threating a DOE.

    But please don

  • kerry says:

    sorry got cut off there !!!

    please don’t thin this just happens to dads, I am (just) living proof of that.

  • chall says:

    Hi Jason,

    No, I don’t think its on!

    On CS2, if the non resident parent shares care of the child/ren for 175+ nights, they qualify for a one-half reduction PLUS an extra £7 for each child.

    ie; NRP nett income £300
    20% for 2 QC = £60
    – 1/2 the amount for shared care = £30
    – 2 x £7 = £16 pw liability

    As your ex is getting the extras ie; CS, Child benefit and TC, then it should be up to them to buy clothes, shoes etc.

  • Rob says:

    If it were me I would go to the csa and claim off her and see what they say

  • Kay says:

    My advice would be …. this is awful but Ive told my partner the same – stop paying for uniforms and shoes etc and pay the CSA money.

    Ive told my partner that he needs to pay CSA and then whenever she turns up demanding £30 here and there – he tells her no. And she cannot do anything about it as he’ll be paying her through CSA.

    Explain that to her too – that if you pay CSA you stop paying for uniforms etc as the CSA money will cover it.

  • Colin says:

    You are correct. the system is flawed. The initial assessment is based on no care by the non-resident-parent and arrives at that parents contribution of costs… 50%. Thereafter it reduces the payments by 1/7th for each day the non-resident-parent has care. It should reduce it by 2/7th. Simply put, for each day in the care of the non-resident-parent that parent is excused paying the parent with care but should not the parent-with-care contribute towards the care on that day too ? Afterall for each day the child is with the parent-with-care the other parent is expected to contribute, so should the same not apply ?

    If it did, then for equal 50/50 sharing then the payment due would reduce to zero as it should if care is equally shared. Afterall dont forget that the parent-with-care also will get the child allowance and any child tax credits due which the other parent cannot claim.

    Write to your MP and explain … demand it is changed.

  • jason says:

    I have sent a letter and an email to Janet Anderson (previous Labour MP) and had no response so i thought id try the new tory boy Jake Berry and guess what, no response. Its an issue they’re not concerned about but i wish they would. Think the previous comments about the CSA not being set up for people with shared custody are spot on. My current situation is they’re are taking 30% of my wages for the next 5 weeks to pay the arrears as i stopped paying directly to her when i foolishly believed her after she said she’d cancelled the csa, i wouldnt mind if i was a csa type dad who only saw the kids once a week and didnt give a f*** !!!!

  • joy says:

    hi all

    my husband is paying csa and he has 2 children with his ex wife and we have one of his children here living with us and the other daughter lives with her mum and comes to us at weekends .
    do we still have to pay her csa as she pays nothing for her daughter that lives here ?
    we get her all that she needs and wants for both children .

  • Clifton Dorey says:

    I think it’s the way the CSA works out daily costs that needs to be thought about. From the CSA website it is shown that a 50/50 shared care leaves the NRP with 3.5/7 to pay.
    My take on this is that the CSA assume that the daily cost of bringing up a child is split equally between housing/feeding/welfare and material possessions such as clothing/uniforms/school trips etc. This would mean welfare costing 1/14th a day, clothing etc. the other 1/14th, making the recognised 1/7 of entitlement per day. As such, with care being split equally as in the OP’s case the NRP still has to provide the PWC the required amount to buy the materialistic part of the upbringing. As such he has to pay 7/14ths, or 1/2 of the weekly entitlement to the PWC.
    Although this at first seems unfair it must be realised (by BOTH parents) that the PWC is responsible wholey for providing clothes etc. The NRP cannot be expected to pay for good twice. this applied whether the NRP sees their children one or 6 times a week! This way, costs are split fairly between parents. Again, this might not seem fair if one parent earns significantly more or less than the other but they have to live within their means, they are now separate in a financial sense. The PWC also has the benefit of child tax credits and child benefit to help them financially.

    I’m in a situation where my ex (PWC) is demanding that I pay for goods on top of CSA payments. I have refused, although I do pay for some activities on a 50% basis where I can afford them. I would be happy to pay my ex 50% CSA entitlement if we shared the children 50/50.

    Any comments?

  • john dickinson says:

    i pay my ex wife maintenance money every week and now started paying through the csa, i have bought 50/50 school uniforms. am i obliged to carry on helping with uniform costs or is that what i pay maintenance for ?

  • phil says:

    surley the law has to change i have my two kids live with me on a 50 50 basis i was forced into a 1 bed flat and she has a three bed house i have a charge of 20 000 on her house ,she is claiming all benefits and i cant claim child tax credits.Why hasnt the law been changed?il tell you why,because the social services would rather you pay her than them ,that is why it is the way it is.they do not want to pay you both so you are the working man so you can pay.and another thing if also trys to claim csa i will rather be sent to prison

  • Ricky says:

    Before October 2009, I had been paying the CSA via deduction on my wages when I was working, they were taking around £120-30 each week, leaving me with around £150.00 to support myself and my partner and our new born, with previous debts, rent, council tax, living costs. My partner had passed away 16th October 2009, leaving me to raise my son who was 4 months old, I had been trying to see my other boy but was refused contact I had taken further steps to take my xpartner to court which lasted 4years. Now both me and my x, are on talking grounds, the CSA was cancleed, but they are still asking me to pay £378.00 for arrears. I have contacted the CSA and have explained my situation, basically they don’t care and still want me to pay the arrears, I had asked them where my money was for the child I am raising, they said we can’t get money from a dead person, which was rude and out of order. I have my other son on a regular basis now and I don’t see any money coming towards me. I wish to return to work, but I can’t due to the fact I would still need to pay these arrears which could leave me and my son homeless as money is very tight, as we all know. I am sicken by the CSA attitude and feel that most of us men are discriminated by the CSA. I can understand if they were trying to get money from people whom don’t want to know their child, but there are people out there, trying to know their child but always seems worst off, due to women who try to mess us over..

  • Angie says:

    Hi all.

    Me and my partner are having the same problem with his ex, although we have his child from a Thursday till a Monday and his parents have him on Monday night and Tuesday this woman hounds us for money.

    When my partners child is here I buy all his clothes and extra things he needs and he even has a school uniform that we buy for here.

    My partner rang the Csa and even tho they refuse to acknowledge the court appointed joint residence they did advice that the money he pays includes clothing and uniform and we shouldn’t have to pay anything on tops of this. And if she does want anything extra she has to apply to Csa who will look in to it to see if she is entiltled to it.

    I think it’s awful the way the parent who doesn’t receive the benefits are treated surely with all the laws against discrimination weather it be race sexual or religion this should apply too.

  • Kenny says:


    My Ex and I came to an agreement where she was regarded as primary carer. Access was on a 50/50 basis but she claimed all the child benefit and I payed a monthly maintenance to her based on the CSA guidelines on amount of nights out daughter was with each parent over the year.

    She payed the nursery fees and also claimed any government assistance with this. Now our daughter is about to start school she is demanding that I pay half the after school fees and maintain the monthly maintenance else she is going to stop the 50/50 access agreement that has been in place for two and a half years.

    I still buy my daughter shoes, clothes toys etc and feel as though my ex is blackmailing me here.

    What are other forums users thoughts on this?

  • Jullian says:

    Stupid question but does this go both ways?

    I have yet to see a post with a women moaning about being screwed over buy the csa?

    Are there ANY blokes out there who has the role reversed?

    If not I would say this is discrimination and equal rights which women continually bang on about when things don’t go there way 😡

  • dave says:

    The system is more to destroy responsible fathers. Your case as a mum is a super exceptional case

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