Rich ex still gets my money through CSA
Divorce agreement ex husband keeps house and contents as up front payment for maintenance of 2 children. Family proceedings court papers state 50/50 care of children and no CSA involvement. 2 yrs post divorce no problems until ex announces he went to CSA for money as he was short of cash and his partner (who moved in 2 days after i left marital home)is pregnant – he got a £15,000 loan for a conservatory to be built and couldn’t afford repays and would have a new mouth to feed so said it was the only way he could raise money to pay off his debt by going to CSA for cash from me.
He also stopped the overnight stays as he found out that me having them so often affected his maintenance as he would get less and eventually became deliberately obstructive and witheld all access telling me i had to take him to court if i didnt like it knowing full well i didnt have the money to do so.I informed the CSA of his motives and they said it was not their problem and i had to pay anyway I was threatened hounded and harassed by CSA although i was paying as they continually miss calculated said i was non compliant although i was posting, faxing and verbally giving them all the info they required.
They took so much time they added arrears weekly to the point i had to leave the rented accom i was living in as i couldnt afford to pay my rent and general bills and my own debts to credit cards run up by demands to pay csa bills, i had no tv, couldnt even afford to put gas and elerctric in meters for 2 years. i got a new job abroad and told them as required and they informed me i didnt need to pay and my CSA was £0.00. Now 2 yrs later i get 3 letters on same day with a bill for £5886.00 and a default payment rate of £40.00 a week which i cannot afford to pay. i work as and when my new employers in the uk have work for me, some weeks nothing other weeks a day or two.
I am renting a room from my mother otherwise i would be homeless,i have no possessions apart from 3 pairs of jeans,a few t shirts,2 jumpers and 2 pairs of cheap trainers meanwhile my Ex lives in the £300,000 house earning over £90,000 a year between him and his fiancee. where is the fairness in this??
The CSA need to look at both sides both incomes and both circumstances of PWC and NRP my ex has never been on bennefits always in f/T work.He uses the CSA to line his pockets as much as he can using the children as a commodity for financial gain taking everything from me pushing me into poverty short of taking the clothes off my back, the knickers off my arse, and a pound of flesh. He has stripped me bare of a life and takes great pride in gloating that he doesnt even spend the money on the children!! How can the CSA allow a PWC to do this??
I would also suggest that if all maintenance or a monitored monthly voulantry contribution service went into a trust fund in the CHILD’S name which they recieve at the age of 18 more NRP’s would perhaps be more willing pay up?
A lot of the problem is the bitterness between the parents and as demonstrated in my case the motives.
NRPs don’t object to paying towards their kids its the fact the PWC does it maliciously to ‘get one over on the Ex’
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Hi dee harris,
Quote; NRPs don’t object to paying towards their kids its the fact the PWC does it maliciously to ‘get one over on the Ex’
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Thats quite a sweeping statement ~ in some cases it may well be true.
However, it does not apply to ALL.
There’s good and bad on either side of the fence!
The CSA care as long PWC gets money, They are making me pay arrears on my account which i dont agree with as i was paying my ex direct payments when we first split but she now claims that it was for something else! The amount i pay each month has forced me into Bankruptcy and the csa showed no interest in this and said its not there problem. How do they sleep at night knowing they are putting people through this.
The system needs to change and be fair to both parties and instead of cash they should be given in food vouchers and clothes vouchers to prevent the money been spent on the 3 holidays my ex had last year.
I agree it may be a sweeping statement but very true in many cases, the CSA are a complete waste of tax payers money , they only target the soft parents that already pay and make their lives a living hell and leave the ones on benefits and that take no responsibility alone. have you ever seen a PWC parent with control living in poverty? no me neither.
I agree, the agency have reputation for soft targets. But surely, they should be going after those (quote) ‘ones on benefits and that take no responsibility’, regardless of whether a PWC is in poverty or not?
Personally, I don’t consider this a competition for who has it worse and would not make sweeping generalisations pertaining to either NRP’s or PWC. Both have their own issues and genuine arguments regarding the system, that badly fails some.
There are good and bad on either side – it’s a shame when the good on either side get tarnished because of the bad…
Hello, I thought I was the only person in this situation….
Unfortunately Dee’s situation sounds almost identical to my own. I was mentally abused my my ex for about 5 years of the 11 we were together and he came out of the divorce with custody of the 3 children whom he has tried his best to poison against me, the house we owned (approx value of 250,000), a well paid job, a new partner also with a very well paid job, everything we had in the bank, two cars and a works van. I have since been to university and got a degree, have managed to find a job with the best wage i can start on (only about a third of his earnings though) and have lived in a caravan for the last 6 years and still he takes from me whatever he can….i feel reluctant to take the job i have trained for for the last 3 years as i will probably be even more broke once i start. I was made to feel bad all the time about not contributing to the children and so worked part time, whilst studying, so i could still pay a minimal amount of csa, he won’t let me take them holiday either and said if i have money for a holiday (which was only a cheap trip to spain to stay in a friends apartment for 4 days) then he wants to know where the money came from and that he wants it for the kids.
I just feel all the time like there is no ‘let up’ from CSA hell…. keep trying to pick myself up and make a life for myself again (would love to save a deposit for a mortgage and have a proper home for the children to stay in) but there is absolutley no help or support for parents on the ‘other side’. Likewise, I do not wish to avoid paying toward my childrens welfare but a fairer system of working payments out at least?! I wish I could afford the fortnight holidays to Florida like they can!
I also believe that mothers/fathers should not be giving MONEY it should be in Vouchers FOOD/CLOTHING…That way the mother or father is not pissing it up the wall !