PWC restricting my access to get more CSA money

April 24, 2010

I received a csa form this was totally out of the blue, as my ex and i had a private agreement that i would pay for the kids i would buy them whatever they needed. bearing in mind one of the children wasnt even biologically mine but i adore him. my ex still put on the csa form that i am the biological parent and they want to take 20% of my earnings

this is just another long list of things my ex keeps coming uop with, we have been broken up nearly 4 years but each year she does something, ie, stopping access for no reason just been a bitch as usual. i am still paying the £2500 solicitors bill from last year thanks to my ex stopping contact once again. its a never ending battle with her.

i have been told by my ex that if i do not tell the csa i am both children’s bioligical parent i will not see them ever again.

i have had to obtain legal advice once again costing me more money, i have been reassured by my solicitor that this coiuld not happen.

however , i tried to get a private agreement using child maintainence options to which my ex agreed to. i tried to contact her every day for 2 weeks to get her to sign the agreement but she rung me up after 2 weeks saying she beleives i earn £800 a week (i wish) and she wants a peice of it, she even thnks she knows what my girlfriend earns and whats some of that. this is one money grabber i am dealing with. she is already committing benefit fraud claiming to be a single mother when her 3rd babys dad is living with her.

she seems to think she is going to get a small fortune from mine and my girlfriends predicted earnings.

i have only just paid off a huge loan that we got when we was together. now this. i recently moved and bought my first home , only a small flat but its the first step to building my life back again and i was feling happy, the kids had their own bedroom and it was a home for them, now i face the possibility of loosing my home as she csa do not take in to consideration that the NRP does have to have a roof over their head.
i need to know how do they work out the money you have to pay?

im concerned we would have to sell our home, but again we would be homeless , not eligable for a council house so basically i could live out of a box but as long as my ex gets her money thats ok. i could loose my home and kids because without the kids having their pwn bedrpoom the kids canot stay over.

i currently have the kids around 80 nights a year this was a costly agreement that took months to sort which was only sorted last year. my ex is saying she is going to drop it so i have them under 52 nights because she wants more money and dont wana loose out.

this system is sick.

Comments

9 Responses to “PWC restricting my access to get more CSA money”

  1. Brokenfather on April 24th, 2010 12:55 pm

    Yep, the system is sick, but your ex even more so ….

    Do it properly. Deny patermity of child 1, insist on a DNA test if they refuse to believe you, and pay maintenance for child 2. That will be 15% of net pay, less 1/7th discount for your over night care.

    I think it totally sucks that the government will fund a body to collect maintenance from the NRP but fund nothing to help them secure decent contact with their child. This is proof that the CSA is nothing about the wellbeing of children, just getting as much money off the NRP that they can keep to compensate for the benefits given to the PWC.

  2. chARLIE on April 24th, 2010 3:28 pm

    well since i wrote this on here, i rung the CSA and asked how my case was going.
    the mother said to me she was now going to ring them and tell them im the biological parent of 1 child and confirm that i see the kids over 52 nights. … however the CSA said she had not been in contact nor will they contact her. i will have to go for a DNA test and pay £300 to prove im not the father.

    I am seriously considering going to court to sort both access and maintainence as i think once the csa payments start my ex will twist the knife in more and stop me seeing the kids again knowing full well i wont be able to afford a solicitor again.

    its very scary

    i am going to a families need father meeting on Tuesday in my local area. i need as much advice from ppl who have been in this position.

  3. Brokenfather on April 24th, 2010 5:00 pm

    You will get the £300 back. Taxpayers will have the joy of paying that for you because the mother has issues with the truth.

    Since the introduction of the CSA the courts dont deal with child maintenance unless you are outside the CSA jurisdiction.

    Good luck with the contact, FNF are good guys by and large. Unfortunately, if the mother is hostile to contact she is likely to be successful in her campaign. Its been almost 4 years since I have seen my boys.

  4. martin dell on April 25th, 2010 12:02 pm

    families need father gets funding from the csa i belive so they toe the line

    you can take the csa to court yourself with the right info you can stop the csa and courts and corrupted systems in there tracks

  5. charlie on April 26th, 2010 9:05 am

    broken father-
    i am so sorry to hear that , no parent should miss out on 4 years off their children’s lifes. no child should miss out on having both parents in their lives. its just these women get all bitter when the relationship fails and seems to have the frame of mind that when you break up with them, you break up with the children.

    If you are named on the birth certificate as the father of the child (or children) then you have a legal right to see your children. This is sometimes tested to the limit if parents split under less than agreeable circumstances and it can ultimately mean the involvement of the courts and family services to help mediate towards agreeable visiting rights for the father be they in the presence of the mother or otherwise.

    each year since we have been broken up my ex has tried to stop contact, she only succeeds for a little while though. its wrong but she never learns that im not going to disapear and leave my children with her…the longest she did it for was 3 months this was the first time she did it and i wasnt sure what my rights were, but i fought and i spent alot of money sorting it out and gone through mediation, solicitors etc…i will never let her win. please dont give up the fight. i bet your kids would love to see you! who says thay want to be with a bitter twisted b%%tch like your ex?
    you have a legal right to see your children!

    If you are named on the birth certificate as the father of the child (or children) then you have a legal right to see your children. This is sometimes tested to the limit if parents split under less than agreeable circumstances and it can ultimately mean the involvement of the courts and family services to help mediate towards agreeable visiting rights for the father be they in the presence of the mother or otherwise.

    martin dell-
    where did yo find that out from about families need fathers? i was led to beleive they are here to help us not aginst us?
    are you saying i could despute the CSA’s calculation? i am concerned that are going to get it wrong as i have read so many horror stories. i am scared i am going to have to pay so much ill not be able to adfford my bills (mortgage etc) and then if i loose my home ill also loose my access to the kids as the agreement is they have their own room which i agree with , but if i have to move back to my mums and sleep on the sofa, i can kiss goodbye to seeing my kids ! ill be lucky to get 4 hours a week then and my ex really has won!

  6. graeme on October 6th, 2010 1:57 pm

    I would also inform the benefits agency that she is committing benefit fraud. Tough I know, but you also have to be able to have a decent life yourself and not be dictated to by her. My thoughts only.

    Good luck

  7. charlie on October 6th, 2010 2:13 pm

    hi guys, since i last wrote on here. it took me about a month of nagging my ex stressing to her that its not in anyones interest to make me and her son go for a dna test when we know it will come up negative. she finally rung the csa and told the truth! hurrah!

    we then just sat back and waited for the csa to do their thing and work out how much i have to pay… time went on…. its still not sorted. i rung the csa last month to find out why we haven’t heard back, they said they had archived our file as dealt with! they said the confusion was with my ex telling lies about one of the children’s real parernity!
    they had to re- open the case and we are still waiting…. she is now asking for a private agreement as she said money is tight! (this is due to her handing in the csa form in march and spending like a footballers wife , i think the credit card bills are coming in fast for her and she not got my cash to pay for all that spending)

    she asked for a private agreement to which i said she will have to fill out the ‘child maintenance options form’ this is not legally binding but u can list what you will pay for, how much you will the resident parent each month. i said once thats signed and she rung the csa she will get her money paid through the bank. i will also inform the csa and send them copies of the signed agreement form and the bank statement proving i have paid my ex csa money backdated from march…
    however, she is ringing asking for the money , she isn’t keen on sorting the form out and she still hasn’t rung the csa! i think she is hoping to get a lump sum off meant still go through csa… not too sure what to do really. i would prefer to go through csa, as i know my ex will keep asking for more money and blackmail me with the kids if i don’t pay her more.
    however, the next time she stops me seeing the kids i have the emergency contact court forms at home , i will go through the courts as i cant take much more.

    she asked me for money early sep so she could go on holiday!! cheek and a half! as i said ‘no pay for your own holidays’ she stopped me seeing my biological daughter on her 4th birthday as ‘punishment’

    i have also reported my ex and her family to the benefit fraud agency so fingers crossed!

    also this mother of the year didn’t fill out the school forms for my daughter and she only started school last week! all the other kids had got used to school and made friends and my little baby is the last one in. i was so upset when i found out. it took me two letters sent recorded delivery for the school to finally let me know whats going on with my daughters education as my ex wouldn’t tell me as i had not ‘paid her’

    the list just goes on……….

  8. sian on February 4th, 2012 10:04 am

    Hi, im a step mother trying to gain some csa from a biological mother, my husband and i bring up his son and our 2 children.
    His mother hasnt seen im in 5 yrs and my hubby has residencey.
    Its hard, the csa do see my case different as im a woman trying to get money out of a woman (i claim the child benefit for all 3 so i have to claim the csa) but i remember when my step son lived with his bio mother the csa were taking £80 a week off my hubby (b4 we had our 2 kids) and i although we had him every weekend fri-sun, then we had him most of the holidays, my hubby had to ring as it was his claim, they werent very helpful.
    All u dads out there who have a genuine interest in your kids, i know its expensive but go to court! we did it to gain residencey and it cost us £4000 but its what we and my step son wanted (he was 7 at the time it all begun). The court gave us a contact order which she decided not to abide by within 48hrs she was always too busy and wanted to change it..now we havent seen her for 5 yrs. U know kids are resiliant they know whats going on, but be honest with them, tell them u want to see them but their mam isnt letting u, they do understand believe me. Some men just want to see the kids to wind the ex up but some of u are genuine i well believe that, ring the csa demand they help u as ur the dad, go to court and make it happen, dont give up without a fight. good luck

  9. sian on February 4th, 2012 10:09 am

    to all u men out there…never go with an agreement with the ex…always go through the csa. Im a mother and i know, the csa will take it from u and pay the mother in to the bank and atleas u know its all above board, dont be fooled by the if u pay me u can see the kids line. its all about the money, if ur ex will recieve payment through the csa then its about the kids if she wants a private agreemant its about the cash! im a woman bringing up my step son and i get csa ff his mother…believe me i understand, and i see where all men out there are coming from. theres not many women in my position as there is u men and its hard believe me

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