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Parents who work 6 months out of the country avoid payments

I have fought for over 7 years now for a regular payment from my daughters father and without any joy I have chosen to give up.  My ex partner is able to claim back all his tax from the United Kingdom as he works on the ships for 6 months of the year but the csa said they cannot touch him as he is outside of their jurisdiction as he is paid from an australian account.  I know a lot of people reading this will be getting an idea and also be congratulating him for this but to be honest I never stopped him visiting, never say a bad word to her about him and I dont depend on the money it was for her to be set into a savings account for her future.

I find the law very complicated and frankly I am exhausted trying to understand the logic behind it.  I had letters telling me I was to get maintenance payments for years and I never received anything so I hope they help other parents who may need this support in the future.

I just wanted to let you know that there is a large loophole there in the system and I feel it is totally unfair that someone can walk away with all that money and not have to pay a penny towards the upbringing of a child.  My ex earns around 70000 a year tax free.  He is able to live 6 months a year in the uk and not pay a penny because the law says so.

I appreciate any commments – good or bad

15 thoughts on “Parents who work 6 months out of the country avoid payments

  1. I am sure you didn’t expect a lot of support but it does make a change to hear of a PWC getting simalar treatment from the CSA. There are thousands of farthers in the UK suffering at the hands of the CSA “because the law says so!” and thousands of ex partners relishing the fact. that they only have to make a phone call and the CSA will hound the father for ever. The law also says (because I had to get a court order) that I have a set amount of access to my daughter but no court or agency has bothered to take any action if my ex decided she just didn’t want to comply!
    I also fall in to the catagory of being able to reclaim my tax but i have not heard of this rule but i will be looking into it, NOT so as to avoid paying but so that i can pay in away that ensures the money goes to my daughter and not to line her mothers pockets.
    The CSA is nothing more than a money collection service with no concern for the welfare or support of any child or parent, until they start acting in a resonsible way towards the childs interests no farthers will wish to deal with them and will continue to try and avoid the CSA
    I suggest you try asking your daughters father if he will put something in place for his daughters future that you have no access to and no control over in return for which you will drop the CSA case against him and let him have full and unrestricted access to his daughter. I know it would work on me and my daughter would be better off.

  2. i know exactly how you feel and it totally stinks. i left my exhusband over 12 years ago and have received nothing. he hasnt even sent birthday or christmas cards for his 2 sons. i was told the law had changed last year and they now had the jurastiction to trace him in germany, i was even awarded an amount of money but only for my 13 yr old, his brother is 19 so gets nothing. they can only get money off them if they work for a UK company, have a UK bank account or have property over here. its time the law was changed so children dont suffer just because there fathers dont care.

  3. Why should the poster not expect a lot of support..?

    The CSA have sadly and blatantly let yet another child down…

    The child support system needs making fairer for ALL parents and the children involved – google afairercsaforall its for parents by parents, we ALL need to help each other and unite for fair change.

  4. Why should the poster not expect a lot of support..?
    Because it’s usually the PWC who involves the CSA in the first place leading to the difficulties.
    Agreed most have no choice if they are claiming benefits. however the poster does state that she does not “depend on the the money”, so does she need to involve the CSA?
    I did look at your site and i agree we do need a fairer CSA, one who should be there to Assist in the support of the child. the present one does nothing but exagerate the differences during a breakdown in a relationship

  5. Because it’s usually the PWC who involves the CSA in the first place leading to the difficulties.

    That’s a very sweeping generalisation…
    There are good and bad on both sides, either of which can cause problems in their own way – and there’s always the CSA that can manage to cause the problems all on their own..

    ‘Agreed most have no choice if they are claiming benefits. however the poster does state that she does not “depend on the the money”, so does she need to involve the CSA?’

    Only the OP know their full circumstances on their case – so it would be inappropriate for me to make too much comment…
    However, the poster does state they did not block contact and there has been 7 years in which the CSA have been involved – maybe their ex could have contacted them…..

    Suffice to say, regardless of whether the OP depends on CS from their ex or not, there is still a legal and moral obligation for both parents to contribute towards their childrens welfare.

    I totally agree with you ‘the present one does nothing but exagerate the differences during a breakdown in a relationship’ !

  6. Hi, thanks for all your comments. I really did need payments from my daughters father for quite some time as I really struggled but its true what they say what you dont have you dont miss. I feel sorry for her dad cause he has missed out on seeing his daughter just so he doesnt have to pay money. I did invite him and his family and even put them up at my mums house and even my own at one stage. I contacted the csa on a few occassions to ask them to cancel the case as it was really disheartening when nothing ever appeared after the letters telling me that I was getting money for her. I dont depend on his money now cause I have worked hard and at times had 2 jobs and studied to improve my job prospects. If I had some help financially I wouldnt have had to do so much but I also wouldnt have appreciated all the things I earned especially the valuable time with my daughter. I really feel for some fathers who are messed around but I never once said no to access and I had no choice but to involve the csa when she was little as I continually asked for money but he drank it all and bought items such as bikes and cars so he hadnt any left over. If a father wants to pay he should without being forced I agree but if they did pay in the first place they would be more of a man. I have no hatred towards her father he is welcome anytime however being labeled a dad is something he will have to earn as like most parents you have to earn respect from your children as much as we respect them as individuals.

  7. Hummm… as a father who’s looked after his kids 50/50 since 2003 since ex played away; has a job that frequent overseas travel yet negotiated to work from uk 2 weeks in 4, one of which is WF; put a Consent Order in place that completely covered care & financial arrangements (CSA have the power to over rule this); bought out ex from home to give kids stability …. and this is just the tip of the iceburg but lets not write a life story… the CSA’s attitude is just rape the bloke who does more than just the right thing because they can and forget what it’s all about, caring for MY kids becuase their mother let them down.

    The CSA is just legalised thuggery, only interested in hearing and interpreting the law in their way, so easily see why so many NRP’s sell up & work permanantly overseas … and let the welfare pick up the pieces. There’s all this rubbish about ‘a criminal offence if you make a false declaration’… not if you are my ex there isn’t, as official response all they way was no case to answer when conclusively proved her many submissions of lie after lie.

    … and then they wonder why people take the law into their own hands, bunch of Muppets the lot of them ….

    ah… feel much better now… and for any of you that feel like giving up, remember, one day it will be over, so look forward to that day & never give up…

  8. If the CSA do not jurisdiction because of off shore activities then the courts do under the Children Act 1989. Go see a solicitor. There are recipricol arrangements with overseas countries re maintenance.

  9. My problem is, last night a recent phone conversation with a lady at the csa, was completely un helpfull towards my situation, the person in question tried to force me to take out debt onto a credit card which i do not have, i said i did not have a credit card, i was then told to use a friends credit card. Tell me, do you have friends that would put 3,000 pounds on a credit card for you? I explained my situation to the person, and her responce was that i would be sent to prison for 56 days if i failed to pay up immediately, as i’m in no position to pay up immediately, looks like i’ll be going to prison for christmas! thanks very much to the man hating csa!

  10. Im fed up of all the anti ‘absent father’s’ comments. I was forced out of my own house due to the behaviour of my disturbed ex wife. Then she sued for divovorce and decided to milk me like a cash cow, even though she repeatedly refused me access to my 3 young sons. She shacked up with a window cleaner and cohabitted even though I paid the mortgage every month and suypported my sons whenever I could. I got into terrible debt to support my sons.

    Now that I have a small inherittance comiong and have opened a small business, guess what? she is pursuing me again with the impoverished, left without a penny stories again to the CSA. She just got £34,000 last year from the sale of our ex house, yet the pikey window cleaner she married also seems to want cash from me. I pay money every month to my son who is the only one under 16, which is more than the CSA would take anyway. But the venegeful ex wife wants this for herself to fund her lavish lifestyle.

    There are always two sides to every story. Its just that the Dads get all the bad press.

    The bottom line is, if your wife goes mental, she shacks up with someone else. remarries and does everything in her power to keep you away from your own children, I’m sorry but she should not gain a penny from the sucker ex husband. The CSA are nothing more than financial facists.

  11. I have read your comments and boy I thaught I was the only one feeling this pitfall. I have been supporting my daughter from birth, even lived with my expartner for two year of my daughter being born. CSA had stung me in 2004 (daughter age 4 ) which made me have to leave my job as I couldn’t afford to pay for my living expense.. Yes you guess change my job..The mother and I had made an agreement on supporting my daughter which I thaught was fine for years, but I seem that CSA alway influence her by saying she could get more from the father which makes her greed progress. My outstanding debt is now £19000. which has now gone to debt collector who contacted me once and promised to send me a form for payments as I refused to give payment details over the phone..Now in 2009 I have been contacted CSA debt team stating I owe the state over £2000 and this is a new case from 2007. What is going on…I have also been told whatever I been giving my daught is a gift and they will preceed in withdrawing from my earings until debt has been paid off and will calulate what I should..I have been married and new born ect and all these details they need expecially present partners..I have now stopped giving anything to my daughter and I don’t see her as much as I don’t have the funs to do so..

    This system is not about the children its all about the there pockets on so call systems.

    This will now lead me to leave my job, move or even drop my hours down at work and go on benifits (last option)..

    I use to have my daughter from fri/sat and take her to school on monday morning, but now I just a phone call.. This sytsem makes me feel I don’t do anything at all.

    When will this be over..

  12. Hi there. same situation, been told ex is now resident in non reciprocal country therefore no jurisdiction. He lives 10 mins away from house, home every 8 weeks for 2 weeks parading around in his porsche and mercedes with his partners and her kids. Doesn’t keep in touch with his own child and refuses to financial support as he thinks he is no longer financialy liable. Not nice feeling written off by government in which I have been a taxpayer all my life. Only action I can take is to accept decsion made my laws of our land. Whatever happened to enforcing Childrens Act??

    Hope one day this gap will be filled so that no more children are affected and lead into poverty for the sake of selfish NRP’s.

  13. Quote Nicola; ‘Hope one day this gap will be filled so that no more children are affected..’

    There are many gaps that need to be filled…
    There’s good and bad on both sides of the fence, whether they are NRP’s OR PWC – Its always our child/ren that end up losing out though!

    Sadly, its a system that our children are going to inherit, unless we are ALL prepared to stand up and be counted – can you sit back and let it happen?

    Join us at

  14. I whole heartedly agree with your comments, this system is fundamentally floored. I am, in fact, from the other side of the coin; I have an ex-partner who has done nothing other than try to stop me seeing my children, despite them repeatedly stating their desire to see me, for the last 6 years in a somewhat elongated legal case. Thanks to the CSA; I am now in a position where, if I take a job and based on the 25% of my wedges they propose to take, I will become homeless! It is a ludicrous situation, I am an engineering graduate who would like to buy a house, yet at a time when the government is complaining of a shortage of home-grown engineers as vindication for immigration of the same, I will be essentially forcibly exiled from my indigenous country if I want to earn a living! I am also reliably informed, by my children, that any money I have sent, prior to CSA involvement, was not spent on my children but on my ex-partner’s new partner’s children! Indeed I often have to buy new clothes for my children, despite sending money for clothes etc., as soon as they are handed over to me, as they turn up looking like extras from the musical Oliver. Social Services are less than useless; I am in fact convinced they operate to accommodate their own personal ‘politically correct’ agendas (never met a Caucasian, heterosexual male social worker yet). This ultimately leaves me with the option of moving abroad, while travelling back to maintain a relationship with my children, and paying for essential educational or other items such as clothing etc. whilst simply placing the maintenance I can afford into some form of high interest account for the children to use at a later date. And, of course, a house left to them when I ‘josh it’ to give them a decent start in life. Am I wrong?

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