NRPs and fathers have too many rights

July 5, 2010

It’s been two years and im still fighting for the money, my Ex owes me for my Son. He claims benefits whilst working for ten months. Between 08 and 09. I knew he was working and contacted CSA weekly to find out through the Inland Revenue. When I finally made a complaint to an idiot at CSA called Andy Graham, he simply wrote me a letter saying, yes your right, he is working whilst claiming benefits and owes you over a thousand pounds.

Since then my Ex has job hopped constantly, avoiding payments, just paying the odd card payments here and there, when and how much he wants, which isn’t good enough. I have almost £700 in nursery fees to pay monthly, not to mention everything else. Why are children less important to pay for than Council Tax, in the eyes of the law!! I’ve had to max out my credit card to fund Nursery, putting me deep in debt, whilst my Ex and his new partner buy a house, two new cars a Polo and Audi!! Fancy holidays in the Sun etc.

It makes me sick. Fathers rights through the roof!! Im now going to take it to Watchdog, the National papers etc. RESIDENT parents need to fight back. Our children should not be denied what they are owed!! Why wouldnt CSA enforced an attachement of earnings, go through Inland Revenue, take him to court etc??? Why? because they couldn’t be bothered!!

Comments

  • Brokenfather says:

    What rights would you like to take away from fathers then?

    “It’s been two years and im still fighting for the money, my Ex owes me for my Son.”

    Oh, did you create your son all on your own then? It never ceases to amaze me how most mothers seem to consider the children theirs alone. Perhaps why you want to remove all rights from fathers perhaps ….

  • Noush says:

    What a pathetic thing to say? Yes it takes two to make a child. Im not denying that. But I was married to a man who could not cope with a child full time, he would rather go out and spend money drinking with his friends. I went through the pregnancy alone, then when my Son was three months old, he moved his stuff out and sold our house. What I want put in place, is that a NON RESIDENT parent, should be FORCED to pay the minimum at least to help support the RESIDENT parent, to put them in nursery, pay for food and bring the child up, It makes me sick that the NON RESIDENT parent can work full time, have a partner, afford to get on the housing market, go on holiday three times a year, and still get out of CSA maintenance, by making up lies that they are out of work, when they are working full time, and CSA do not push hard enough for proof of payslips, employment etc. A NON REDISENT parent needs to understand that a child is the most important thing in there life and needs support financially as well as emotionally and physically. I am SICK of hearing about Father Rights this, Fathers rights that. If a parent has choosen to be a parent they need to step up to the mark, an every other weekend parent is not enough My arguement is not so much the Father part of it, but the fact that CSA do not step in and do their job.

  • Noush says:

    Email to BROKERFATHER…. ” I really think you should change the name of your email address, what kind of man is a “broken father”?

    You should be strong for your child/children, Children are a blessing, many people cannot even have children. You should be thankful you have children”

  • Karen Bedford says:

    Please contact me as I went to Watchdog and before they filmed I received an advance payment in a large sum. Im still trying to get justice – for the past 12 yrs. Please also join the facebook groups child support agencies failings and others on there as you will find 100s+ of us who suffered similar problems and there is support and advice on there – its free, so you dont have to pay these companies who say they will help and charge a fortune when they know less than us!

  • Karl Garrett says:

    this may be a particular case. Has anybody seen the other side of the coin? – I love my children & would gladly pay, but not through the CSA

    it’s just the greedy vulture (ex) which uses the blunt instrument (CSA) to basically make me unemployed & homeless ( But that’s fair apparently). The whole thing should be taken out of the hands of greedy “it’s my right” women into something more, realistic.

    I’ve been near suicide several times..it’s just my children that keep me hanging on…but, that’s becoming a struggle…what good is a broken dad! – who can’t even afford to come down & see them?!

  • Karl Garrett says:

    Oh, and just before you think I’m NRP rich..I can never get a mortgage again, I’ve had to go bankrupt die to the “shared martial debt”, lost my car, now live in a shed, can’t afford a car or holiday, I buy my clothers from Primark…..but this is a NRP with to many rights? – mmmmmm maybe suicide is the only option?

  • Karl Garrett says:

    I wish I never had kids…if they are a priority debt.. where’s my signature/credit agreement? – kids should be an investment, not a noose to kill you.

  • Average Joe says:

    If the system was fair and equal then I would totally agree. The system is far from fair, it is biased towards pwc’s (95% women). Give me a presumption of shared parenting and an equal responsibility financially then I would be fully behind your viewpoint. Why the hell should my ex be able to live off the state while I earn a pittance and am expected to pay even though in essence she is better off than me? As for contact, contact on her terms…. a sodding joke!

    I refuse to co-operate with the CSA and will take every action to avoid the liability. Nothing to do with depriving my son of money, Everything to do with a one sided government policy!!!

  • Noush says:

    Message to Karl. Im so sorry about your situation, that sounds awful. You were obviously honest and up front from the start. It appears that honesty is not the best policy with CSA. I only used CSA because I thought they would set up a payment plan where my ex and I would not have to deal with each other directly, because at the time, things were still raw. CSA do not help either side of the coin by the sounds of things. I think they should be shut down and something set up that replaces CSA, they makes it fair for both parties. You have to remember Karl, there are NRP out there that ARE lying to CSA and the RP regarding their income, denying their own children of financial support, and could afford to pay. Unfortuanatley its the NRP out there that do that, make a bad name of the ones that are doing their best.

  • Noush says:

    Message to Average Joe – I don’t live off the state, I privately rented at the time I split from my Ex, because I didn’t qualify for housing, i’ve always worked and have to pay around £700 in Nursery fees just to get to work, fund my car etc. This was a few years ago now. My Ex applied for Shared Ownership housing and got a home, based on being a single Dad, even though he only has our Son every other weekend!! That was unfair, I was paying full rent, full bills and full council tax and never asked for any state handouts, its not as easy to apply for as you may think!! CSA messed me about when I was very desperate at the time to get the money to help with my Nursery fees!! He moved a partner into his low rent home, and had TWO full time wages, and still refused to pay, telling CSA he was out of work!! When he wasnt and CSA didn’t bother to look into it, because they have a policy “NRP have to be seen to be believed!”. How bad is that?

  • Noush says:

    Message to Karls last message!! You wish you didn’t have kids? Thats an awful thing to say, there are people out there that invest thousands of pounds just to fall pregnant, getting them into debt before their baby is even born.

    But yet are happy to do this!! Children are a blessing, not an investment, what strange thing to say and think!! Children are expensive, stressful and worth it all. You obviously was only thinking of when your an old man, being looked after by your children, when you went on to conceive?? Being a parent isn’t easy, whatever parent you are!! Its a shame that non of us could stick with our partners and learn to be a stable happy family in the first place!! Thats the biggest shame of all!!

    We are all in the same boat here, we all had horrible partners, bad experiences with CSA and love our children dearly, so please don’t say you wish you didn’t have them. How would they feel reading that!!

  • Average Joe says:

    Noush, nothing in what I wrote should be construed as an attack on you personally. As I wrote, I would definitely agree that in your situation, the state should screw him if he doesn’t want to contribute fairly to the upkeep of his kids.

    The system stinks but is currently biased towards the PWC. I’ve had problems with the CSA acting unlawfully and as far as I’m aware, if I tell them something is FACT, it is FACT unless they prove otherwise.

    They take actions first, ask questions later…force you out of your job, house or even take your life!!!

    Shut them down and make BOTH parents responsible while giving BOTH parents equal rights as the default position. If one party doesn’t attempt to live upto their responsibilities then they should be screwed over.

    Anyway, it sounds like you’re doing the best for the kids, that is the most important matter.

  • Noush says:

    Message to Average Joe, Fathers to have an actual law out there called Fathers Rights. If you paid £150 to your local court, without getting Solicitors involved. You could have a one off court hearing, which will get your contact set up officially. So its not on her terms. Plus they will allocated Christmas, and holidays for you, so its in place for the next year or so. If she breaks the contact order then she would automatically go to court for being in breach of the contact. You can also ask to know where they go to school etc. Its an actual law out there, so if you are a good dad and pay reguarly then you should sort out the contact too. For your childrens sake. Thats why those Fathers climbed up the houses of Parliament all those years ago, dressed as Superman!!

  • Noush says:

    My last message to Karl – Really hope you haven’t consider suicide. Maybe you should see a Doctor to talk through your low moods, plus you could go to court to set up a proper contact order for your Children and if you write and official letter to CSA, proving what you earn etc, maybe between you, they could try and set up an amount you could pay, that doesn’t mean you have to live in a shed anymore? if you live in a Shed, where do you children sleep when they visit you? Your not showing any strengh for your children at all. Get yourself on the housing list with your local council, because you have children, you will get something! You cant just give up.

  • Brokenfather says:

    Noush, Fathers4Justice existed because the courts simply do not operate as you claim. It is highly unlikely that a father will be awarded contact at a first hearing, expecially if the mother objects, and while I agree that eventually the court is likely to issue a piece of paper awarding contact, they will take little or no action against a mother for refusing to comply with it.

    The fundamental problem being that is simply should not be necessary for a father to to apply to a court to maitain a relationship with their child in the first place!

    I spent 3 years in and out of court, have umpteen court orders, every one of which was immediately or within 4 weeks breached by the mother. Even now, 4 years after I gave up the fight, a fight I should never have had to undertake mind you, there is a court order requiring her to advise me of my sons address so that I may maintain indirect contact, she refuses.

    As for the schools & doctor. Try getting any information as an estranged non-resident parent. They block you every step of the way, I have tried.

  • Average Joe says:

    Noush,

    Brokenfather has hit the nail on the head. WHY MUST I EVEN HAVE TO GO TO COURT TO FIGHT??? If I have rights then the court should only be involved if the PWC refuses to co-operate and then they should be punished without delay! After all they ain’t thinking about their CHILD’S RIGHTS!!! There should be presumed shared parenting etc unless the NRP declines or it can be shown that the NRP represents a danger to the child. This would not however remove the responsibility to pay maintenance.

    This is why PWC’s get little sympathy from most NRP’s, the system favours them…from maintenance to access. I do sympathise with your position as issues also clearly affect PWC’s but the CSA and the laws which govern them are setup to treat the NRP as the enemy. Until this changes, you’ll find little sympathy from NRP’s in general.

    Regards

  • Karl Garrett says:

    Noush, many thanks for your kind words. in answer to your observations, yes I do love my children, but society and PWC’s use them as weapons to demean & extract resources from the NRP as if he’s a criminal!, and I t find it frustrating that I’m being raped for cash to pay for them, to the detriment of everything else.

    I have no issues with supporting them whatsoever, but its the method & the amount that is the issue. I feel like I’ve just been used like a cash machine & then disposed off!

    Point in case, I’m living in a 1 bedroom converted garage, with no car and expected to keep working …she is living in the home that I signed over to her 100% including all contents & she’s now driving a Brand New Land rover Defender (circ £30,000 ish), and she still keeps moaning about putting “food in the kids bellies”… not that the CSA will see this imbalance in fairness. the PWC holds all the cards.

    I know it’s the honest NRP’s that get screwed, as we are traceable & visible, and that is unfair! – yet again we are paying for the losers, and getting labelled as one aswell 🙁

    I don’t see the children because:-

    A:) I can’t afford to get down & see them and/or I have nowhere for them to stay. B:) They appear to be suffering from parental alienation, and “don’t want to hear it” and as such don’t speak to me.

    So much for 13 years of “service & support” – obviously not enough.

    On the suicide bit….no one would care. (Apart from my current partner, which is why I’m still here, I couldn’t do it to her.) I came to the edge last year, and all the PWC (Karen Whatsize) could say is…what about the maintenance, money,money,money… nice to see where the “true” motivation lies in the event loss.

    If I knew kids would be used like this I seriously would have held off having them, as now I’m on the scrap heap, what’s the point in carrying on?

    yes I created them (50%), but I’m being punished 100% for it…not fair.

  • Mark says:

    Remove Fathers rights? Is that a joke? Are you aware of what rights Fathers have? The Goverment claim that we have shared parental responsibilitys yet to inforce this we need to goto court and even then the magistrates agree but take no action against the PWC for thier attempted alienation of the children against the NRP. On the flip side of the coin if i did what my sons mother did and just took him and moved away without telling her anything then the police would get involved, arrest me for abduction and return my son to her custody. Why is this allowed to happen? The short version is the whole legal system is weighed against the male, always has been and always will, so much for equal rights eh? As for you comment that Fathers rights should be removed, what rights are you refering to? We do have a small amount of rights but nothing that would be enforced under the British legal system. The CSA claim to act in the best interests of the children but they take that much of the Fathers wage it’s impossible to take the Mother to court to enforce the rights of the child to have a relationship with thier biological Father unless A: The Father goes onto benefits and claims legal aid or B: The Father is self employed and has a creative accountant. The CSA don’t believe that children should be able to have a relationship with thier Father otherwise they’d allow a varience to be applied to the account for Solicitor and Court fees to gain access to the child. In order to see my boy i had to go on benefits cause didn’t even have enough money left to live never mind get a solicitor. After all essential bills plus the CSA had been paid i had £14 per week left to get to work and also feed myself. PWC make out they’re really hard done by but the Goverment always make sure that they’ve got at least the minimum the law says they need to live but with the NRP there is no help at all they don’t care if you’re left with 5pence or £50 as long as you pay the CSA. No woman would put up with the way a male is treated in this country today and there’d be protestests and key women figures on every show on television every day until action was taken. Cause it’s males and more importantly “dead beat dads” as the media like to call us the only publicity that there is is in a negative light to brand us all the same as the few PWCS that know how to play the CSA and lie. Just because i’m not a liar and am prepared to support my children i’m treated like a piece of rubbish who’s only good for taking money off whilst my childrens Mother doesn’t take any of the multiple access orders that have been awarded to me cause she thinks she’s got an option whether to take notice or not. The thing is is she has got an option, even though the magistrates warn her everytime she breaches that she could get a community order, a fine or imprisoned they never exercise thier powers. Before you make stupid comments about thinking Fathers should have even less rights than they’ve got think about it before you type cause that’s a totally ridiculous and hurtfull comment and because you’re Female if someone in the right position was to see that comment there’s a high probability that the wonderfully sexiet UK Goverment would take steps to further alienate Fathers from thier childrens lives!

  • joe blogs says:

    I am ment to be a dad to some random kid and the csa fucked me. i was on a low income and also needed to pay my rent and try and get sorted for my son coming but they still took £170 a month off me which might not seem alot but it is when you skint. so i have went into full time eductation. the way i look at it is the csa have the right to make you guilty before provin inocent. which is balls as in the uk you are inoccent before proven guilty. i might as well be skint and in college than working my ass off payin heaps to a girl i dont even no and came from england to scotland coz she was a slag…. which is how it is i was a total stranger. entrapment eh. i dont care what anyone thinks as i have two kids of my own and i have been there for them and i am a good dad. i see this girl and kid as a threat to me and mine. she contacted me and said she was preg n i said to here look im sorry but one i have only know u for 4 days u are a random. i dont think that it would be fair on the kid havin two parents live so far apart and i dont ever want to see you again tyo tell the truth. we have both done this but i want to clam the same right as u have and say i dont want this baby to be born. one yes for me and two for the kid as i dont think that a kid should just have one perant its not fair. if a woman doesnt want to carry a kid she can go kill the baby and the man has no right to say she cant but if a girl wants to keep the kid she can and the man has no say so how is it that the man and woman have equil part in making a kid. they dont men have no rights. i was 100% truthfull wit her and now csa say i need to be there for that kid which she knew i wasnt goin to be there for but still brong into the world wit no dad hhhhmmmmm. anyway i no alot of people think diffrent than me which is kl just dont try stick your shit in my face. im not an ass hole.and im not a shit dad as proven by my kids. all the bull shit goin on in the world and those cunt come after me for penneys a month. mind you own busness mother fuckers

  • Joanna says:

    Karl I hope your kids don’t read that you wish you’d never had them as it will destroy them. Callous. Me me me.

  • Joanna says:

    Joe Bloggs did she force you to sleep with her? If you have sex with someone there is a chance you can get them pregnant protection used or not. If you cannot deal with that responsibility then keep it in your trousers. You are punishing your innocent child because of a shared choice of sex between you and the mother. You are equally responsible emotionally and financially. Don’t be so damn selfish.

  • Karl Garrett says:

    Joanna,….have you been screwed so hard you have been made homeless, bankrupt and suicidal due to somebody elses demands, backed up by the feminist government? – …..I suspect not. Until such time as you appreciate the “other side of the coin” comments like “Callous” are unfounded. Me, Me ,Me… unfortunately, for the best part of my life it’s been, her,her, them, them..but now when I need to survive, all I get is accused!! – nice to see misandry is alive and well :-).

    Hindsight is a wonderful thing..and as such, I know now never to trust a woman, and never have children. Women are toxic & vengeful, and basically best avoided. I did use protection (which failed – pill) and later she admitted to deliberately suppressing it…this is entrapment, but I have no leg to stand on…. but then it’s just Me, Me, Me… best I sod off and die then!!

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