NRP doesn’t want to see disabled children

June 1, 2010

Im a PWC and Hubbys a NRP to his 2 kids with his ex, I think some of the comments toward PWC are very unfair, but I can understand the fustration of NRP’s as well 🙁

3 kids with my Ex , 2 severely disabled , he lives 20 Min’s away in a council house with his new wife and 3 new kids that he chose to have after throwing my autistic daughter across a room and cutting off all contact with all 3 , No birthday cards, no maintenance , no Care’s

I am married and a step mum, We pay 20% maintenance to Husbands Ex, £150pm in fuel for access and help out as and when needed, We Pay a mortgage , work and care for disabled children, my ex told the csa that he reduced his work hours so he would get more tax credits and a lower wage so that he did not have to pay , he earns more than my husband, but pays a greatly reduced council rent !

If this goes to court he can quit his job and our tax’s pay his rent, If we even miss a payment we get threated with charging order against our home, ( we have had to go to court 3 times for access to husbands kids)

The CSA went for my EX’s tax credits due to what he told them, I have not seen him for 9 years his choice as he did not want my defective children in his life , in these circumstances who’s the bad guy !! Its not always the PWC !

All he has to do to avoid paying is quit his job, the money he should pay could help cover some of the things his kids needs, I fully agree that the csa should take into consideration the living costs of all families involved in case’s , and across the board they should keep their hands off money that should be for resident children, BUT its unfair to blame PWC alone for this situation, we did not make the rules, and I for one would happily give up the thousands of pounds in arrears to see my Ex send his kids a birthday card , I could phone the csa up and tell them to take the tax credits off my Ex partners calculation, but why should I ? He deliberately chose to scam his kids out of money , he’s fit and healthy and can work longer hours, and he was man enough to bring 6 children into the world, and frankly if i can work with 2 disabled kids, why the hell should his new wife sit at home getting taxes that we pay ?

The system is hugely flawed and decent fathers/mothers are the ones that suffer the most, whether they are PWC or NRP ,


  • chall says:

    Hi Annie,

    I completely agree with you, the system is greatly flawed, on may levels.
    Flaws are not gender bias – PWC, NRP, female OR male, all can and do suffer.

    Sadly, some have tunnel vision and are unable to see past their own situations and circumstances, whether they are PWC or NRP, they can not / will not recognise that the flaws are far wider spread.

    Until more individuals can look beyond their own case and unite with others for a fairer system, unfortunately nothing will change.

    The forum at was created by parents in April 08 for ALL parents. It is completely FOC and ALL are welcome.

  • emma says:

    hi totally agrre i bring up my hubbys son and our 2 children. my step sons mu hasnt been around in 5yrs no cards, pressies money nothing, we cant claim csa cause we dont know where she is. its awful. when she had my step son we paid £80 a week and had him 3 night a wk and most holidays. then when he moved in with us we spent £4000 on court fees for residencey for my hubby and contaced the csa who agreed to £24 a wk for her to pay us, we havent seen it, she moved a mth after the court order and we havent seen her since (not that i want to) but the csa isnt always fair i agree there. some men genuinely want to see their kids some women do to. but the ones that just screw the system mess it up for the genuine ppl out there.

  • chall says:


    Was the calculation of £24pw the result of an application through the CSA?

    If so, the agency had enough info to make a calculation and they will be aware of the NRP’s NI number etc and can request info from HMRC to establish their address.

    If not, if you can give the agency the NRP’s NI number or last known employer, address etc, they have a number of options open to them to enable a trace.

    chall ~ afairercsaforall

  • >