My ex pays nothing through the CSA
I recently split with my ex who i met 3 yrs ago and we now have a 7mnth old son. He was always in and out of work and when ever i asked him to buy something for the baby the answer was “I cant i’m sorry, got no money“…
I put up with this for a few weeks after my son was born but then finally got intouch with the csa has my ex had started a new job. I felt that it was the only way i was ever going to get help with contributing to my sons cost of living…after i got of the phone i felt relieved as they were very helpful and told me that i was going to get money that my child was entitled to and i recieved a letter saying i would get £13 a week, however this was not the case as it took them a mnth to deal with my claim and by this time my ex was out of work again. He knew if he stayed in work he would have to pay money to csa which he was not happy about so therefor left to go bk on the dole and i then recieved a letter saying i was now entitled to £0.
He has had a new job since this and worked for a mnth before he left again…. He recieved £750 wages and since leaving signed bk on the dole so also recieved his £140 every 2 weeks, he will also be recieving holiday pay at the end of the mnth and from all of this my son has recieved nothing. CSA have now written to tell me as he is bk on the dole and on a low income i am entitled to £2.50 a week!!! how the hell do they fig that out? People are always so quick to blame the mothers but in some cases i think fathers get away with providing for there kids… why should they be able to dodge the system and not provide for there kids? It makes me sick… its a parent job to provide so BOTH parents are responsible, I have knw stopped my ex from seeing my son until he can provide things for him…. why do people think it is wrong for a mother to want the best for there child.. my ex lives with his parents in a one bed flat and pays no rent, he has no bills to pay and they provide him with food, when i have let my son stay with him he sleeps on the floor.
He does not provide nappies or milk, only wot he uses for him self and i have had to buy the majority of babys stuff since day one. Baby lives with me and have always given him what he needs. I asked my ex to buy food nappies and milk evey week but he tells me that all he has to pay is £10 mnth as csa have told him they will be deducting this for his dole… £10!! And thats all he thinks it takes to raise a child…. do you think he deserves the right to see his child?…WHY when he can not provide foe him?…. should a mother be responsible for everything?.. evan when csa are involved it takes weeks before u recieve anything and who kknws if its anything at all.
I think the whole system sucks and fed up of people putting mothers like me down….why should we struggle and the fathers not have to give a penny for a child they brought in to this world.
8 thoughts on “My ex pays nothing through the CSA”
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“I have knw stopped my ex from seeing my son until he can provide things for him”
Shame on you.
A child is not pay per view you nasty woman, and perhaps if you, and in fact women in general, stop treating children as their sole posession thinks might improve.
It’s not ‘my’ child ……
Absolutely! – several cases of “it’s my child”…bloody sickening. Yes if the scoundrel won’t 2keep his end” then yes, he deserves to get chased, and most “men” on this site would agree, but if a woman uses the “money & CSA ” as a weapon, then they will get no sympathy here.
Kids don’t need “money”, they need parents who care. I for one would (do!) gladly help my children, but I don’t want to be raped for it, to the detriment of everything else.
unfortunately, women push the “my child, therefore I deserve everything” button, and nobody thinks about the little guy picking up the cheques at the other end.
Mind you, if he doesn’t pay due to -irresponsibility, then yes…kick him.
Hi jodie,
I agree with you completely ‘the whole system sucks..’ – it really does need a bloody good shake up for all concerned, especially the children!
However, child maintenance and contact are not connected – and unless there is genuine concern for a childs safety, contact should NOT be stopped.
chall ~ afairercsaforall.co.uk
if he deserves to see you son depends entirely on whether or not he is treating him well, which he is clearly not if he isnot meeting you sons basic need of food and comfort.
I can understand that your situation has made you unhappy, but as shown above – you need to rethink about how you phrase it all.
A child is not a meal ticket. The fact your ex pays £10 only to the CSA dfoes NOT mean you only get a £10 note dropped thru your letter box each week, be serious. The CSA get sthe payments, and if you are out of work, you get all that other benefit thrown at you (and yes you do, your on an easy ride, if you dont believe that, go try living in Russia or Poland for a few months and see how people have to survive).
It’s bad that the CSA are even messing up your side of it all too, but to be honest, look at it all – you know every detail of your ex’s money details, every little penny is accounted for in your mind.
An ex is an ex for a reason. Move on, get on with your life, and work things out to your own advantage, stop trying to find a complaint. We all have the ability to fund our lives, and see beyond the anger at a break-up, as horrible as those break-ups can be.
We live in a society now, of kids with no parents on one side. What on earth is happening to us all ? wish there was a solution. But shutting down the CSA would be a very very good start.
Your message indicates that your ex is a scum bag tho, and im sorry to hear that, hope that things improve for you soon, especially for your son.
Whilst I totally agree that parents should be working and striving to financially support their children, and your ex needs a kick up the arse..I find 'pay per view' a bit unsavoury.What you will find is that your ex will then say ''I won't pay you any money because I can't see my child''. It becomes tit-for-tat and your child will grow up thinking that the only reason for existence is money. I know you don't mean that to happen, but kids don't understand money.I grew up not knowing my father because he never paid any money to my mother. I know him now, and wish I had been given the chance to know him better when I was a child.
my ex husband was unemployed over a year before the csa started takeing money from him and during that time he could have contacted the csa and paid some thing but he didnt he buried his head in the sand and built up a huge debt this debt got bigger when he came off benifits to retire and get his vauxhall pension early as he would have more to live on than job seekers he had also moved so the csa had to trace him which all takes time all the time the debts getting bigger when if he had contacted them and payed some thing which is better than nothing while they assessed his case and what he needed to pay the debt wouldnt have gotten so great that goes for any father paying some thing while being assessed is better than nothing and then faceing a huge debt when unemployed they gotta pay £5 a week the csa does catch up eventually and he will have a huge debt serves him right hes not even trying to pay for those honest fathers who do make every effort its not very nice i can sympathize…. the csa is really for the bad apples who wont pay
I AGREE THE SYSTEM STINKS!!!
My daughter is 16 and my 19 year old son is at uni. My ex was unemployed when i asked him to leave. He gave me £20 a month after first month which isn’t even £5 a week. then he got a part time job told me he would give me £50 a month which he said was enough. I chose to get in touch with csa who got him to pay £87 a month. for one child. the previous amounts had been for 2 children. In this time I know he made money on the side also. I have never been given any extra money for my daughter and now he is out of work again. He promised he would help with my daughters prom and college fees but let me down at the last minute. I managed to give my daughter aprom on a budget to which her father turned upto take photos then put on facebook announcing how proud he was of her.
she adores her father but it really frustrates me he gives nothing to help other than to pay for a box of frosties a week. Alright i get help as a single parent but this is reguardless of what the father earns. He really sees the money he gives me as giving it to me and not for his daughters upbringing.
He lives with his mother and pays no rent i have kept the mortgage going etc and now he wont meet me half way for divorce settlement. To make up for what he hasn’t given i want 57and a half to his 42 and a half percent on the house.