Mother is playing the system to get more money

February 13, 2010

I have 2 daughters, 1 will be 11 years old in 3 weeks time and my other daughter is 8 years old. I have not seen my kids since the middle of january 09′ almost 1 year ago.

I have always paid for my kids which was resolved through CSA and then we the parents came to a joint agreement inwhich i set up a direct debit so the mother receives the money every week in her account. However my story is that unless i do what the childrens mother tells me to do inrelation to having the children and what I should do with them when they are in my care or else it is basically a major problem. Her new husband is also very difficult with all of the arrangements.

They both have basically told me that if i want to see my kids again that i would have to go to court. The problems always start if I was going to attend a wedding on the same day that i would have the kids, I always would of given the mother plenty of notice. I would always of made alternitive arrangements for the kids so they would never miss out.

I live 30 miles from my kids home, although i do work in the same town as they live in. I just think that this is so wrong for a parent to choose that the kids will no longer see their father and the father has to continue making payments every week from their mother. I do travel daily which i receive no allowance for, i have married and am paying bills in which does not be taken into consideration. When I contacted CSA on this issue all they were intrested in was if I had the children for overnights and if so how many nights in a year. CSA did not want to know the situation so in my eyes a parent can play a financial system to suit their needs. Basically a mother can do what she wants regardless the childrens request and in return the mother can get extra money out of the system with her wicked actions.

My case was of no intrest to the CSA and I cant afford to take this case to court so therefore 2 little girls lose out on a father and I lose out on 2 daughters. I did receive alot of nasty solicitor letters from the childrens mother, The mother actually works for the solicitor company in which the letters came from, However I do beleive she worded and typed all of the letters that I have received.

The kids are also been refused to see their grandmother inwhich no explanation has been given. Im sure this is just one of many letters or stories that you have received but is there an advice you can give me on this?

Thank you for your time.

Patrick Rodgers.


  • chall says:

    Hi Patrick,

    Child maintenance and contact are two different issues – the agency are unable to get involved.

    We have other NRP’s in the forum at who are in the same position as you and can offer more advice on this subject that I – To keep court costs down, have you thought about being a Litigant in person and having the help of a McKenzie friend?

  • kerry says:

    Hi patrick.

    My heart goes out to you, I have been in pretty much the same situation as you.
    Never let your girls forget who you are.
    i have been through the court system, with no solicitor as i found they were pretty rubbish anyway, keep fighting you have too, send your girls letters and cards, keep on in there, as chall says above join the above it does help to share what you are going through

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