Is money I pay CSA going to the child?

May 6, 2010

I read almost all the comments here and i have to say that most people did bring a lot of good points. Im young man who was involved in a relationship few years ago with a women that i dated for few months. I later found that she was married and she played a trick on me to get herself pregnant.

I did not want a child and had arguments with her about it that she should get rid of it in the early stage and i warned her that i wouldn’t be there. She said that it was fine and didn’t care and she would support herself.

I wasn’t willing to be cheated and manipulated by someone like that just because she wanted to be with me. This is really low and it messed up my head so badly. I became almost suicidal and had to drop out of my masters because of that. I never treated her badly apart from wanting out of the relationship.

I now need to pay arrears for child benefit for a child that i didn’t even want in the first place. Why don’t fathers have any say about whether they want to be a dad? I wasn’t ready for it and still not. Why am forced to do something that i don’t want to ? it’s unfair? I was lied to and now the csa is taking all the money that i earn. I work hard to earn my money and they are deducting 678 pounds a month from my salary. I can’t do shit at the moment with my life. Im forced to stay with my parents because of that. I don’t even know whether my name is on the birth certificate. I feel that my ex has fucked up my life and the child’s life and she has only been looking at the selfish feeling. Now the child will be in a situation where she won’t have a dad to look up to. Some people might not understand why i don’t want to see my child but wot you need to understand is you cannot force someone to do something they never intended to do or have in the first place.

When i spoke to Csa, they were so rude. I hate those bastards with a passion. Every single one of them cos they show no compassion about the situation you might be in.

how the hell do i know whether the money that i give is being spent on the child. They can’t prove it. I can’t see why we have to give our money but we don’t get a breakdown about what that money has become and we don’t have a say as to how it is used.


3 Responses to “Is money I pay CSA going to the child?”

  1. Brokenfather on May 6th, 2010 1:16 pm

    You will not be named on the birth certificate because unless the parents are married the father has to sign to agree to it.

    As you arent on the birth certificate why havent you insisted on a DNA test?

  2. Aruun on May 6th, 2010 7:23 pm

    i received a form to complete and return to the csa regarding a dna test. I sent it back to them waited for about 4 weeks but didn’t get any replies. When i called, they said that they did not receive anything and that it was loo late and that my case was passed on to another case worker for non-compliance. Something along those line from what i remember. I was stupid not to have photocopied a copy of the form for proof. After that, i didn’t bother contacting my ex because it usually ended in arguments and i didn’t have access to the child. I think there’s also an element of not wanting to know or find out within me. maybe it’s due to the fact that i went through a lot and it really f**cks me off when i think about it? I just feel that i don’t have any option here and im stuck 🙁

  3. gary hilton on May 6th, 2010 9:17 pm

    Course it doesnt go to the child! It goes right back to the government coffers, they have paid her in benifits so they want what they paid, plus a lot more as your assessment is always sky high! Easy money for them as soon as they have got their claws in you. As for names on birth certs even if you did sign it you are only presumed the father because if you look on your birth cert guess what it says on the bottom? Not a legal form of identity! So the only form of ID is a DNA test. Are you employed or self employed? Just refuse to pay mate!!! Chance your arm in court like I will be doing a week on monday!

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