Greedy ex only interested in money

September 1, 2010

I split up from my ex-girlfriend 13yrs ago, we had a child together but the relationship was rocky and in the end we split up.

I met my now ex-wife and got married, we went on to have 6 kids together who I love so much and I see them every weekend.

Now I know I ain’t perfect and I used to see my eldest son every weekend but it soon dwindled and now I don’t see him at all and I only have my self to blame, I used to pay a DOE every month for him but I had an accident which put me on incapacity for a long time.

The CSA contacted my employer as they were not getting money who told them I was on the sick ect.

In 2007 I had retrained and returned to work when the CSA hit me with a £12000 back pay bill, I argued the toss but although they knew I was out of work because I hadn’t told them they kept charging me the full amount.

I might add that because we have so many children then I was only expected to pay the back pay.

The beginning of this year we separated and although I tried to keep the family together I moved out 3 months ago. I am now 35 miles away from my 6 kids and it is costing me £25 a week to go and pick them up.

I am currently earning £1080 take home, my rent is £550, council tax is £140, electric £80, credit card £130 and that’s without living expenses.

I had a letter from the CSA over the weekend stating that they have issued a new DOE on me for the amount of £458!

I called them this morning but didn’t want to help, eventually a lady called Lynda reduced it to £250 a month which includes £114 a month for my eldest.

When I told them that I won’t b able to afford to see my other kids they basically said for them to benefit then my ex-wife would need to contact them which she won’t purely because of what they have already done to us as a family.

I had no social life before this happens as I would rather keep the money to use in fuel to pick my kids up and buy them food ect.

I am writing this in floods of tears at the prospect of not seeing my kids on the weekends, I live for my kids and for them to see me in this state is not an option. There is no light at the end of the tunnel for me, there is no future for me.

My yearly earnings are £16k my ex-girlfriend and her husband’s is between £40-60k, my eldest son wants for nothing and I screwed up with him I know.

I want people to read this and see what greed has done, to see how a totally unfair system has punished my children, that’s 6 kids lives ruined all because the CSA don’t give a shit about the way they treat the fathers as long as they get their bonus at the end of the month!


  • Jemma Shuter says:

    The CSA is terrible,we have had years of it and greedy ex. Thank god only one more year to endure and we are done. Hope something gets sorted for u xx

  • Scott Messymace Mason says:

    im in same boat mate all my ex wantd was money and she dnt let me c my daughter been 3yrs

  • Lee Hughes says:

    It's no longer even about the money, future ongoing liabilities bring in no revenue for the state. It's just the arrears if it is owed to the SoS. I wonder if they will make BOTH parents responsible for their children, pigs are flying!

  • Scott Messymace Mason says:

    if i could have full custody of my lil girl b so happy then make her thing mother pay me y r mums like that ?

  • Stephen Webster says:

    Hey there have you looked into getting working tax credit ? Ur on same take home as me so you could get an extra £50 a week. Also if you have a lot out standing on ur credit card speak to a debt management company to help u get ur payments down mate. Lest this will free us more money for you and put more back in ur pocket. Good luck

  • Kevin Cottrell says:

    Why cant the goverment see what this discussting department is doing to nrp's and how it effects the children, most nrp's want to provide for their kids but you have to be able to live yourself to do it … We need to march to number 10 and make the pm listen

  • Gill Baxter says:

    @ lee wot do u mean make both parents responsible? Who do u think makes up the rest of wot a child needs after the csa finally extract the pittance outta the absent parent?!?

  • Melanie Jones says:

    I think the people who are paying a pittance won't be on here complaining, only the ones who are fleeced every month, and there appears to be many …

  • Tracy Jackson says:

    I'm a PWC who earns a bit less than you and the ex and his 3rd wife earn £79-80K between them. He hasn't seen or paid for the kids in 4 yrs but has finally been re-assessed to pay £88pw. The amount you're paying for your eldest child sounds very wrong. They should get a 7th of the 25% you have to pay for all of you kids.Ask for a re-assessment and provide copies of all wage slips, P60's going back as far as you can…anything to prove your earnings (benefit letters?!). They should also take into consideration how many nights are spent with you and travelling expenses (keep petrol receipts). Also, go and see your local M.P….. the CSA seem to panic when they're mentioned! P.S apply for council tax benefit or 1 person discount – yours seems a bit high. Good luck.

  • Scott Messymace Mason says:

    pmsl GILL BAXTER u must be one of them mums i was talkin about. pitance i have to pay 55 a week for 1 child its a joke when i was married to that ex waste 50pw was shopping allowance to feed 4 of us and 55pw was my rent on flat but i lost it couldnt afford to run it so for the nxt 10yrs im basically homeless thats pitance a luv

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