Ex pays more for his new family than for my five children
I have been separated from my ex for years and we have five children together.
He has never paid for them until i got csa on him. He started giving me twenty pound a week for them all. He started messing me about with payments so i contacted csa again, when they finally dealt with our case i received a letter back saying they take into account for his new partners 14 year old child into account. They said they take into account his earnings, which is fine, but he is ment to pay 42pounds for our five kids and 35 for her one.
They dont take her wages into account. I am a single mum who would love nothing more to go out to work and not have hand outs for my family, but how do they expect us to do this when there is no justice for single parents?
The nrp get away with having children and not paying for there kids and end up paying for someone else. Can anyone help me with this? I have been to mps and dont know where else to take it cause i really aint happy about this!!!
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“Ex pays more for his new family than for my five children”
OUR not MY.
Why should he pay when you dont either and you blatantly consider the children yours alone.
I am a NRPP and a PWC. When my new husband and I moved in together, I was absolutely disgusted when my husband's ex decided to go to the CSA and they gave him a discount for his stepchildren. I told his ex that no way is that right as he shouldn't have to pay for my children too. HOWEVER, the CSA decided to not only take my child tax credits into account when working out the maintenance payment to her, but also my disabled child's payments too so she gets a hell of a lot more going through the CSA then she did in their original private arrangement. Very clever. My children lose out now because of his greedy ex so get off your high horse and see the bigger picture. Why should the CSA take my wages into account? I don't get maintenance because my children's father is dead and I now work longer hours to make up for the shortfall that the CSA take from my child tax credits to pay for the lazy bxxch who sits on her ass and doesn't work. We have had a crap Christmas because my kids had pound shop presents whilst my husband's kids came round with new DS's. Get real.
Yes I will tell you. You have to get a life and move on. Your husband has got a new life and has moved on. Let him live his life. His new family come first and that is right. What she earns is not a thing to do with you. Why should she pay …for a child that is not hers. They take everything off us. We can't live with what they leave us. Because women that get hand out benifits are greedy and want more. Get a job keep your children. I did never claimed a penny off my ex husband. It is hard but that is being a mother. Children are not for maken money out off.( NOT MONEY MACHINES.)
I agree with you Juliet it is not right taken the new wife money too. And they did and still are doing the same to us. I have a young lady with a brain tumour and the CSA take some off her too. That is for my daughter not a vindictive women that can't get a life. I never claimed off my ex husband for the two children I had to him. I would never claim. I am so sorry the childrens pa died. I feel for you all.
Exactly.All the while the CSA put my wages & tax credits in the assessment I don't care if my husband gets a lesser assessment because of my children & ours put together.
Dear Sarah, You don’t sat how long your case has been with
CSA, If your case was brought before March 2003 then you are under
old legislation which allows living expenses etc to be claimed by
NRP and thus reduces his liability for your children as a split of
the money. You have 5 children but the CSA legislation only counts
a maximum of three kids under new rules. To obtain a fairer
division of the money, what you should do is close your old rules
case and wait three months under the existing law and then reapply
as a new case. This will not cost your ex any more money because he
will still pay a maximum of 25% of his net income, but the division
will 5/6 to you and 1/6 to the new PWC, assuming she only has one
QC by him. Hope this helps Brucen (ex CSA case o9fficer)
I am sorry to say this but people should only have as many children as they can afford. I always think of the possibility of becoming single parent (again) in the future and there is no way I would have more than 2 or maximum 3 kids so in case I'd become single, I would have money to raise them without relying on any man (father).Another thing: There is nothing you can do. If CSA don't get any money off him for you then you just have to get on with life! Having 5 kids even by the very same man sucks if you end up splitting up and the man is not willing to contribute towards their upbringing in any way. I feel sorry for you but you already have the children, you cannot "undo" them so all you can do is get on with life and raise them as decently as you can, possibly with help from friends and family. I know it's tough but this is life, there is nothing much you can do especially if you already spoke to your local MP and he/she couldn't help you. Don't expect wonders from CSA, they are quite useless.
I agree Sylvia. However the CSA often makes it very difficult for NRPs to actually have proper contact with their children. I don't see the use in that..Plus, what about the PWCs who say that you should only have as many children as you can afford, yet go on to have more children with other people…then complain they don't have enough money to raise the first child they are claiming support for? I know you aren't suggesting this only to NRPs…I just have to mention it 🙂
Why ON EARTH should they take HER wages into account? Are you seriously suggesting that your Ex's partner should fund your lifestyle? Your children are your and your Ex's responsibility – not hers.If your ex's child lives with them as though she were their daughter then it is quite right that your ex is allowed to pay for them. The child will be eating and using electricity and other services for which your ex pays and this should be taken into account.Your ex's responsibility under the CSA is to pay 25% of his NET pay to you, less 15% of that for his partner's child.Based on the figures that you give, your ex should be NETing about £300 per week, although I don't see how they stack up. Does that sound like a reality to you?
as Charmain said he will probably tire of them. My ex has after 6 years of her going to his hometown almost300 miles away every holiday. he decided he had done his bit and now i have an eleven year old heart broken girl.who has not seen her father in sixteen months. I wish i had made a clean break when she was 3 .
I am rather confused,My husband and i have a 3yr old,he has 2 by his ex GF,which he always paid for.that suited his ex gf til she found out about me, then she got the criminal support agency involved, they never took into account he paid her cash in hand , paid the bills in HER house and gave all his overtime money to her,PLUS they wanted to know what i earned.The CSA have not taken into account we have a 3yr old, they say that doesn't make any difference because he owes his ex??? When our daughter goes to school full time i want to go back to work, but why should i,cos the minute i do the csa will take money off me for a child that isn't even mine. His middle daughter is now grown up, why is the PWC not made to work full time, she only ever worked pt so she could claim more from us. Its disgusting i will end up paying for my husband's gf daughter, while ours will go without, I kid you not. We are fed up with the way we have been treated. Maybe i will start charging his middle daughter every time she comes and wants to stay for dinner.
Practically an exact replica of our case, Susan!
Sarah, I understand your frustration as my ex paid as little as possible and when he wanted to pay also for OUR two children, claiming poverty, but he went on to have 2 more children by dif mothers, both never worked, claim benefits and live off my the tax payer, I fought for years to get him to pay the correct amount that he could pay also, I had to half my money to one benefit baby maker mother, who once it stoped for my son, she got it all, I never got the money my children should have got, but ‘that’ did, he lives a luxury lifestyle, the CSA know how much he has in savings and earnt over the years, due to the Criminal Compliance Unit doing checks re: Credit Ref Agency but I still cant justice for all the debt he put me in to support OUR children. Please join the facebook groups child support agencies failings and others, which will give you support and advice, as I have managed to get 9 special payments and 1 advance payment to stop me going to Watchdog. But my ex still owes money which the CSA claim he doesnt, thats why after nearly 2 yrs I have just won my case agains the Tribunal service to get it set aside for another to be heard, just waiting for a date. Good Luck.
Broken father – get a life or more so get help for your terrible attitude you have.
Karen, it’s Brokenfather not Broken father!
What’s wrong with my attitute then?
I think that both parents should provide equal financial support for their children, not just the father.
I think that both parents should provide equal care for their children, not just the mother.
But seeing as you managed to exclude the father from your childrens lives I guess you don’t agree with that.
my ex paid 125 per month to support our daughter for six years. He then married a lady who has her own business. so packed in his job after 22 years and said he aint paying a penny. so went to csa who awarded a £5 a week .After around eight months he was £95 in arrears and i ended the claim.he said he can not afford £5 a week. So how does he qualify for benefits? who knows. How can men like this get away with it ? who knows. How do people manage to get money from nrp? who knows if any one can answer please pm me
Introduce a fair system would be a good start…
I have a better system. Disband CSA altogether. If you can afford to feed, clothe , house and educate your contribution to humanity, without the help of the "other" parent, then you get the kid. If you need help doing any of the above, you forfeit all rights to the kid, and the "other" parent gets the kid. Oh I shoulda added, that there would be no child for any parent unless they are employed and do not rely on welfare payments. Vent over.
they have to take your joint child into account Susan, your husband is entitled to a 15% allowance from his net income BEFORE an assessment is made,thats regardless of whether you're on the old or new system, ring them up and quote that, then make sure they reassess and backdate the claim. Sorry to the original poster but its not right that they take the new partners income into account, or working tax credits etc and thats coming from a PWC. Its not the new partners responsibility to provide for those children its the fathers and mothers, REGARDLESS WHETHER THEY HAVE A 'NEW FAMILY'!!! Just because the mum and dad are no longer involved does not make the children borne from that relationship second rate, or any less important.
lee in my case my daughter would be taken into care then as on my normal working hours i cant afford to raise my child alone .her dad wont work and claims benefits.Think before you type!!
Hi Sarah,
If your case commenced after 03/03/03 then you are on CS2 rules, in which case if your ex’s income is over £200pw the calculation should include;
Your ex’s earnings
Child tax credits
Working tax credits if your ex is the higher earner OR split 50/50 if incomes are equal.
Minus;
15% for 1 relevant other child
The calculation is then 25% of the remainder, less any qualifying shared car.
More info here -> http://www.csa.gov.uk/en/setup/how-maintenance-calculated.asp
chall ~ afairercsaforall.co.uk
Whats with.Brokenfathers comment?
I don’t condone anyone claiming benefits, i have never claimed benefits in my life but do understand that some people have to, i don’t know this ladies circumstances so will hold my judgement on that. Brokenfather seems like a woman hater, it seems like every woman is to blame for every relationship that goes wrong. Men could’nt possibly be responsible for any heartache that is caused in a relationship, regardless of who is right or wrong children still cost money. I have 3 and with everything taken into consideration i pay £100 plus a week out to for these kids.
well said to Dolphin Keeley !! i raise mine without any help from there fathers and my 2 are proud of me for doing that,i didnt have my sons to make money i had them cus i wanted to with or without the help from there dads which may i say i didnt get a penny in 28 years from them !!!
oh and i fully agree with juliet as well !!
tracey how come ur daughter wud be taken into care ? i dont understand cus for starters u get £20 somet child benefit,plus if ur working u get child tax credits and working tax credits etc as well as rent/council tax all paid ?????
Tracy…….I do think before I type. Trust me sunshine, we have been there done that and bought the bloody Movie rights. I dont understand, why we should "pay" for substandard parenting? If you get a contractor in to fix something in your house, and it still aint right, you dont pay em, till they fix it properly. Why then, should WE have to pay someone to NOT parent a child, just because they are a parent? 18 long long years to pay someone to alieniate your kid, treat you like you are nothing, have an entitled attitude along with the victim mentality. Fk that. Take the "other parent" back to court, do what you can to have the kid removed . Oh and I am sorry, but if you "have to" stay at home otherwise your kid is going into care………..what a crock O shit that is!! Either you really really suck as a parent and the authorities are all over you, or you are trying to pull a "poor me" on us. As I said Tracy……been dealing with loada shit now for 11yrs…….aint nothing you can tell me that would change my mind about CSA, or the Courts. Be a parent to ya kid……..get a job and stop taking money "lawfully" from ya X and the government. Teach ya kid some ethics, morals and responsibility.
Lee,excuse me but i went to work when my daughter was 3 weeks old and have worked ever since . When my ex paid 125 per month(through a private agreement) i worked 42 hours a week to pay the bills and mortgage and feed and clothe my child. and remain debt free. When he stopped paying i began to pick up overtime so i now work 50 hours a week to make up the 125. The only benefit i have ever claimed is child benefit. My daughter is well dressed well fed and gets a caravan holiday each year and is emotionally and financially provided for. She is in my care 365 days of the year.Her problem is she hated me working in the first place doing 3X14 hour shifts. Now i work 3X14 hours and an eight hour shift each week .so i juggle being a parent and work and ensure my mortgage is paid and i am debt free. More than can be said for her waste of space father. who packed in his job due to being 34000 in debt due to being irresponsible and living beyond his means feeling that he is entitled to holiday twice a year , wear dangly gold chains,designer clothing.so now i am paying for his benefits too lol.He feels that simply because he breathes he is entitled to have the luxuries of life. So why isnt his daughter entitled to the basics of life? He begged for a child when he was 31 and i was 19 as he felt his time was running out. But to him she was just a novelty like a new car or new mobile that he tossed into the bin when he missed his weekends clubbing. So there is no poor me i am strong and proud of what i provide. My poor daughter however would just love to see more of me not my parents and family who look after her while i work. And poor ex who has missed out on my fantastic daughter.Referring to your earlier post …i cant look after my daughter on 42 hours without his help. so i work more.Is this in my daughters best interests ? I doubt it.
Tracy, I do understand what you are saying and where you are coming from. My point is that you have a choice. Either fester in the hatred , self loathing and victim mentality………OR………….move on with your life. So what he doesnt want a relationship with his kid…..ultimately his loss. So what he doesnt pay the minumum in child support, he doesnt have a relationship with his kid…………….his loss. He gets to go on holidays…………whooptefkindooooooooooo, more power to him. Hope he enjoys them, cause he is missing out on a relationship with his kid.You really need to move on from this for ya kids sake. Try to explain to little juniorette when she is older, should she ask, that ole daddy is busy with his life and that simply dont include her. One day she will understand. You are fortuntate for the family support you have. Many people dont have that.You are simply doing what you SHOULD be doing for your kid. Nothing more and nothing less. Stop complaining about it. You brought this child in the world with a tosspot, and now you are left doing all the hard yakka………..deal with it.Your child deserves more than she is getting where her father is concerned. But honestly , do you really want that wanker in ya kids life?
actually I agree with broken fathers comment; i am a mother and I work full time and want access to my daughter 50% therefore neither party should have to pay the other….I am fighting for full costody of my daughter cuz my screwed up ex has used her as a meal ticket!!! When I finally win I shall show no ill feeling and never deny contact or ask for a penny- i have pride in the fact I have worked hard and can provide for my children without a single penny from the state or my ex. capesh!
you and dolphin sound pretty much the same !!Possibly are the same person under different profiles. Either that or are both dragged from the same moral cess pit lol. Hope your exes have a very prosperous new year at your expense lol
lorraine. I was replying to lees comment "if you cant afford to bring up your child with out support from ex then father should have child and if you need to claim benefits you cant have kids blah blah. Well …. I could not bring up my child properly without his financial support. So in lees view she should live with her dad…….. oh he is a dole waller…. hence she would end up in care if the world was run by lee. And no as i picked up over time to compensate for her father , i dont get wftc dont get council tax benefit . only child benefit. Which is given to couples with kids as well as singles with kids and no i pay my mortgage myself to ensure that when i go to my grave she will have something left to her .
Well said Lee..
Tracy, you have an entitled view of the world and are wallowing in a victim mentality. Suck it up princess. Keep this behaviour up and you are teaching your little juniorette how to be a blood sucking, money grabbing, whinging, whining, heartless shrew just like good ole mumsy. Everything that goes wrong is someone else's fault. " It's not fair" mentality. Shit people have whole families wiped out in a heartbeat, do they whinge n carry on like a pillock……….hmmmm essentially not. They get the help and counselling they need. They move on, they are respectful, they are grateful , they are humbled. Everything that you are not.I pity your kid. What I said, was if you were a stay at home mummy, and you were on benefits, getting gov handouts, taking from ya ex. Then juniorette should be handed to the parent with the job. Since your X dont have a job, and you are purportly working ya arse off, well I dare suggest juniorette is better off with you. God will smite me for that . Stop reading between the lines Princess and start reading what is written. Oh me n Dolphin dont know each other, I am in Australia, n I really dont know where she is. You are such a paranoid fool.
where have i sought pitty ? If you go to my first post around 16th dec i posted my story regarding csa. No pitty requested.
I found myself in a similar situation with my ex, he happily accepted the deduction made to my mainenance due to his new partners 14yr old son. My response is this…….How do these men sleep soundly knowing they put another child before their own,? What kind of person (man or woman) see’s this as morally correct. So whilst this is the ruling of the CSA and it cannot be overturned pride yourself on the good job you do bringing your children up and ensuring they have a happy as possible childhood. Yes I know the CSA stink but not as much as these ex’s who think they can walk away and shirk responsibility. Karma…one day there bad attitudes will catch up with them.
I don't know Lee…I am uk….I do agree with most Lee points…But do not know lee…Never seen her till I came in here…
And Pardon. My case is in court and you know that…I feel for your child I really do. The child we are being made to pay for now, is not even my husbands. You need to read..I keep saying this NOT MY HUSBANDS. The child that was his has been kicked off by the CSA. Read what is there and not what you want to be there..And we had a great new year…Really good…It is a bit sad saying I made up a profile with Lee Griffin Scott on…And so every can see what sort of person you are. You don't work in mental health. Boss checked you out. You work with behaviour problem adults. And my boos did say with your attitude you should not be allowed near them.As I said we help keep people locked up to keep people safe.You lied about your Job to the wrong person…But this is not about jobs…It is about getting this CSAHELL closed down for good.See what outgoings the father has then go from there. What is left a little bit can be taken. But I never claimed off my ex. I kept my own children. They lived with me. It was up to me to keep them. I have two very nice young people. And lovely children here…They don't care about money money. Life is not about who can get the most money. Greed brings you sadness and upset hurt, & very sad unhappy children. All my children are very happy…
Dolphin you know nothing about me or my job.Your boss could not possibly find out any thing about me.YOU would need to know my name first wouldnt you. You seem hell bent on continuing this argument. Well i am not playing. Why dont you spend more of your time paying attention looking after the various children you brought into this world.(especially the sick one) Now F*** off you freak
Tracyn I dont play games with people. And never people like you. I was just showing what you are. Saying I made up a Lee profile is a bit sad. You need help. I don't even know Lee. What a sad person you are. Go and get some help. You think everyone is having a go at you. Life is not about just you you you. END.
the only person having a go at me is you and lee.Even lee got bored of me. so do you want to follow up your claim that your boss has breached the data protection act I DOUBT IT VERY MUCH for someone who has little interest in me you claim to have researched me. How sad and pathetic your little life is what between fighting on here, making children, phoning csa, fixing your pipes, checking me out and sleeping. When do your poor children get a look in or do you have 40 hour days. But if you would like to tell me more about my job then crack on. I pitty you and your kids you truly are pathetic arent you
Oh go away you sad little human. I even tried god knows why, to be nice to you. You need help. Tell my boss that not me. Sad woman…Grow up.
And working…You forgot working. And getting scum like my husbands ex child put away.
paranoid fool.
if i were paranoid i would believe your claim but i dont. I do believe you are a compulsive liar.and you obviously neglect your kids to be on here so much if i had a sick child like you claim to i would spend every waking moment with them . and know how to spell their illness
You like you are a paranoid fool.
tracyn is being a paranoid fool again.
well broken father he does see his kids every fornight and
that is his choice not mine he can see his kids when ever he likes
cause that aint fair on the kids is it now they are my first
priority and i dont think it is right that he pays for a child that
is 15 yr old and not his flesh and blood and my children are second
fiddle that aint fair and brucen thanks for the advice it is under
the old rules and i had to have arrears wipe to open this claim
again i beleive in karma and one day it will be my children he has
to explain too !!!!
Dolphin you may have deleted your comment on face book "the one that you stated you had your boss checked out my employment" STALKER but the comment still exists on the real website for all to see
well this is my case my ex hasnt paid a penny in 13 years for our daughter,i work and he works yet the csa have said he has not got to pay with no reason why so im still no better of 13 years later the whole system stinks surely if he is earning he should pay something ,the system seems to be upside down so i dont fancy your chances sorry to say but unless he is earning 1000s a month you dont stand a chance and its sicking i know how you feel sometimes it just best to move on and no one can ever say you never paid towards your children but they can about him good luck hope you get a better result than i idid
well well well i am new to all this and just been reading tracynmartin halford complaints well can i say that i am the new wife of tracys daughters daddy and she is such a lyer my husband had to leave his job after working in the same company for 21yrs why not because i had my own business but because he was getting bullied around by the new management and by hell has tracy made him suffer for walking out on his job ok wish things had been different but when we spoke to tracy regarding her £135 a month not £125 as she stated that at the min we could not afford to send that amount up but we will send as much as we can that was not good enough for tracy she wanted it all so what did she do she stopped my husband seeing his daughter at the time we were due to get married whitch had been paid well in advance and my husband wanted his daughter there well well she said if she dont get her money then the daughter wont be down to be a bridesmaid at her daddy wedding so we paid the money to her and a few days before we were to get married he went up to collect her to bring her down for wedding whilst she was down we received harassing phone calls to say i want this mths money just a day before we were due to marry and said if we didn’t send her money to her she was traveling 300 miles to take her daughter bck we tried to tell her please give us a couple days no she blackmailed a 70 year old grandmother to put the money in bank we have not seen his daughter since and tracy said we will never see her again until we pay the full amount plus arrears all she has done is use her daughter as a weapon she has destroyed my husband and she has destroyed her own daughter breaking a daddy and daughter bond is sick all because of money we have never refused tracy any money and never would my husband just wants to see his daughter he did not say he couldn’t afford to pay the min payment as c.s.a was taking it right out his benefits so work that one out good news my hubs took it to court only last month and got his visitation rights and everything sorted by judge he come home so happy that he would be seeing his daughter in august well the very next day tracy called us and said that her daughters school uniform cost £300 and if we didnt pay half we were not getting his daughter in august so bad so sad and she said i will go bck to court and if the put me in prison then it be worth it just so u don’t see our daughter my husband a broken man throe all this we have a baby together and wanted his daughter to get to no her baby sister like tracy failed to tell you that she had another baby to and she married oops tracy did i let it slip and her husband is on benefits she constantly threats us with there daughter if you don’t do this yr not seeing her she a very evil sick person to do that and she works with adults with learning disabilities good news is my husband has found a job after 18 mths and things will start to look up hopefully but tracys hassling us all ready for money and she wants it all back dated even thou benefits was paying her what the law sais and ive never had my own business and my husband doesn’t have any gold apart from wedding ring i just want Tracy halford to please give us a break and stop using her child as a weapon to get money or we dont see her i sorry to have butted in but that woman so sad and needs help and just had to put the real story she broke a daddy and daughters bond for 2 years all because of money
re Ex pays more for his new family than for my five children
NO JUSTICE FOR SINGLE PARENTS,YOU PROBABLY HAVE MORE IN YOUR POCKET EACH WEEK FRO STATE HAND OUTS THAN I EARN DOING A FULL TIME JOB.WOULD LOVE NOTHIN G MORE THAN TO GO OUT AND WORK,AND WHY THE HELL SHOULD HIS NEW PARTNER SUPPORT YOU AS WELL ,YOU CHEEKY COW.100% SCROUNGER IS WHAT YOU ARE…..GO GET A JOB IF YOU WANT ONE SO BADLY???
LEAVE YOUR EX OUT OF IT AND GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE AND STOP USING THE KIDS AS MONEY COWS.