Ex and her new partner both earn more than me

July 13, 2010

I have a 12 year old daughter from an ex who I have not seen for 8 years because my ex encouraged her not too have anything to do with me when she was 5. I was paying CSA until then but my ex moved 70 miles away making it difficult for me to see my daughter and I refused to pay after this. I hadn’t heard anything from the CSA until this year(2010) so I thought my ex didn’t want any money anyway.

My first letter was in April saying I owed £3,000 in arrears and could I kindly pay. I ignored the letter. I had another letter about 3 weeks later with a DEO attached and they where taking 40% of my salary without any consultation with me. I rang them and said I couldn’t afford this, by this time the arrears had gone up to £5,000 remarkably.

Even before the CSA started taking money I only had about £50 a week spare cash with housing costs and loans etc. Now they are taking £100 a week off me so I am actually -£50 a week worse off. I have calculated that if I was on benefit I would break even but I don’t want to be a scrounger but I may have no choice.I am really angry that I am left with no money to feed myself in a rented accomodation.

My ex has a semi detached house in a posh area with a new partner. They are both working and both earn more than me. I don’t even see my daughter even though I would like too. My ex refused to send any pictures over the years and didn’t even reply when I sent money or present for birthdays or Xmas.

My life is basically ruined and I struggle to sleep worrying that I may lose my rented property. I will probably have to sell my car now and that will make it difficult to get a good job. My best option is to be a layabout. What else can I do?

oh by the way the arrears has gone up again too £7,000 now.

Comments

  • brokenfather says:

    I fully agree that if your relationship with your child was obstricted by the mother, you should not be forced to pay CM. However, the law does not and you remain liable ….

    This win win situation for mothers has to stop.

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