CSA mistakes mean I cannot afford to do anything with my children

October 6, 2012

I read with interest Martin’s story of 2nd October and would like him to know that he is not the only one in that position . My ex and I separated in April 2011 and are now going through divorce proceedings. We had in place an amicable agreement until she started demanding more and in July this year she applied to the CSA to make a formal claim.

I have three wonderful children whom I love dearly and whom I have supported since they were born. I will always support them there is no question of that but I really think that the CSA do not take into account the NRPs own circumstances.

I earn a good salary but have to pay a small fortune to travel to work where including travel I am doing a 60 hour week . I pay half the mortgage in which the ex still lives with the children and two significant loans which y ex has had the benefit of. I moved into rented accomodation in January this year so have rent and other related bills to pay.

The CSA want 25% of my net salary which is a payment of over £1000 per month.

I also pay school fees for my eldest daughter at £950 per month and the ex is giving me all the emotional blackmail possible about these. Yes, I could take my eldest daughter out of school but she is in her GCSE year and I cannot do that to her.

At the end of the month I am lucky if I have £150 to live on without even thinking about bills, food and petrol.

The CSA simply doesnt care.

I filled in a variations form which they confirmed was received by them on 3rd August. 8 weeks on and nothing… I called them last week to make the maintenance payment and at the same time asked about the variations.

Their response “We have lost your form within the department”.

They simply do not care and all they can do is send me another form… which a week later I havent received.

The process takes at least 8 weeks in any event so at the earliest they may look at this 16 weeks after I initially sent it off and in the meantime I am left with little money to do anything apart from scrape by.

I cannot afford to do anything with the children when I have them at weekends unless I put it on my credit card which is spiralling

All the time the ex works part time, received mind numbingly amounts of other benefits and over £1000 from me, lives in a 4 bed house and from the comments on her social networking file is living a lovely life

I am my wits end with all of this. There seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel and all the time the ex is asking for more from me. I do not know where to turn !!


  • aggy says:

    i feel united with you, all the best, i think there are many many more in the same boat (Titanic) but what can we do, when we struggle to stay sane, let alone fight the legal thieves.

  • Ian Brown says:

    You don’t have to pay school fees only contribution you have to make is your CSa payments.

  • Carl says:

    Ian thank you for your comment. ITs very difficult as I know I don’t have to pay the school fees but if I don’t my daughter will have to give up school in her last year of high school and the disruption would do her more harm than good. I just wish the CSA would take this into consideration but I fear that they will only do this if the child is in boarding school !.

  • Carol says:

    I have just read your tale and am wondering why your ex would bother going to the CSA. You already pay school fees for 1 of £950pm. CSA would assess maintenance at £1000 pm for all 3. But your ex still wants more. It seems very unreasonable on her part.

    Hopefully the CSA will take into account mortgage and debts you are also paying to reduce any maintenance assessed.

    Good luck

  • Carl says:

    Carol, in simple terms she got greedy and wanted to take me for ever thing she could. She knows how much I love my children and that I wouldn’t stop paying for the schooling. The problem is that the CSA dont give a flying fig about those costs or anything else that I have to pay.

    They told me that the maintenance was a “priority” debt. I asked whether that means I should put that ahead of making the mortgage payments on the house where the children live and their response was “I cant tell you to do that BUT …..”

    Its a shambles and rotten to the core…..still no variations form in the post some two weeks after requesting a replacement for the lost one ! . I can be sure that on the 27th of this month they will be phoning me for a payment…. oops I have lost my debit card. Don’t think that they will buy that !

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