CSA is useless, but selfish father is the real problem

August 28, 2010

The csa is a total, utter waste of time. After a court hearing for contact, the judge informed my ex he’d need anger management and supervised visits as my sons were scared of him. This was enough for the spiteful bastard to stop paying just in time for Christmas and their birthdays! This was Dec ’06. My case has since gone from Plymouth to Hastings to Belfast (he is self-employed) where it basically rotted in a drawer after being “misplaced” before finding a home in Newcastle.

In this time my ex had taken out an IVA (ran up 5 credit card debts to force sale of house!) – gone bankrupt – had the bankruptcy discharged after 8mths – continued to pay for an older daughter (£300pm)and earnt in the region of £200,000. He wont pay because he doesn’t want to… it makes a mockery of all the fathers out there that are paying for their kids and still being hounded. My case actually went to court in Aug’09 to obtain a liability order and I didn’t know til earlier this year..he did! There is now a query on it and can’t be enforced as he decided there was a change in his circumstances requiring a re-assessment. There is also a pymnt in court notes of £7700 which he says he paid directly to me but I never recieved. The one pymnt I did get was through the bailiffs.

That was May’10 and the bailiff action has been suspended 3 times since and won’t go ahead til the processing department/assessment team pull their finger out and gets the re-assessment done. He now owes in the region of £26,000. Its a novelty if I speak to someone more than once as they; were temps/have left/transferred to another dept/on holiday. Even some of the mangers cannot understand what the hell the problem is and have urged me to compain (again!!!!) and seek compensation due to csa mistakes and incompetence. I saw my M.P today instead as this may apparently raise the profile of my case… I’m quite confident that it won’t. Complaints are rarely responded to or resolved and my ex is playing the system by saying he’s not earning then not providing any evidence of this until he’s threatened with courts or bailiffs. This then knocks eveything on another 3 months. I’ve been told he could still be paying the debt back when my sons are adults!?!?!?!? What the hell good is that when they need a secure home, food and clothes now!!!!!

As angry as I am at the csa, at the end of the day it’s a selfish, vindictive father who has put everyone in this position. The csa should take action against these sort of parents sooner as they are costing the tax payer millions by wasting time in playing silly games.They also cause unnecessary stress and suffering to a large number of families who desperately need the money to just exist not live! (Both the absent parent and the csa!)


  • Brokenfather says:

    I dont blame him for being angry and refusing to pay child maintenance if you obstruct his relationship with his children. The very fact that he had to apply to court says it all.

    It is the worst of mothers who deny a father a relationship with their child yet still think it is their god given right to receive CM from him.

    Shame on you.

  • chall says:

    Oh dear, I think that’s a harsh reply Brokenfather…

    Have you considered why the children may be frightened of their dad and why a Judge has stated that he would need anger management and supervised visits with them?

    If there are serious concerns for the children’s safety, surely care needs to be taken?

    I also wounder, if the father agreed to and/or attended any arranged supervised visits, so he could see his children?

    tracy j – I agree the agency can be useless. Many PWC and NRP have serious issues them.

    Have you escalated your case to a complaint and contacted your local MP and asked for their assistance?

    chall – afairercsaforall.co.uk

  • tracyj says:

    Brokenfather: Who the hell are you to comment on a situation you know sod all about !!!!!!!

    Who said I obstructed his relationship with the children??? He’s CHOSEN not to see them for the past 6 yrs, preferring to move 80 miles away to be with his new girlfiend (now wife).

    Who said HE applied to court??? There are domestic violence issues I need not go into with you!!

    “It is the worst of mothers who deny a father a relationship with their child yet still think it is their god given right to receive CM from him.”

    The majority of mothers do the best they can for their kids emotionally and financially, to give them the best under the circumstances. The worst kind of father , though, walks away from his kids as if they never existed, deliberately refusing to pay for them just to get back at the mother, not caring whether they have everything they need.

    Now correct me if I’m wrong…but this is not the act of a loving, caring father.
    You, however, seem to think it’s acceptable to not pay CM
    if you don’t see your children. What is it ..”Pay per View”? Well…that’s crap, they are still living breathing people who have to be fed and clothed as well as housed… I have to do it on a low wage. He’s lucky, he only has to pay 20% of his £48k wages towards the kids, I spend 100% my £19k!!! Now get back in your box you nasty little man.

    Chall: My ex was verbally/physically abusive towards the kids.They saw him push me down the stairs and dislocate my collar bone. That was enough to make them scared of him!

    He did not agree to supervised visits or anger management. Since then he has punished us by not supporting them financially, it’s his last bit of control he has over us.

    I’ve complained 7x over the last 3 years…nothing. Finally saw my M.P on 20th Aug so fingers crossed.

    It’ll be at least 3 wks before CSA can do anything anyway..ex is on month long holiday in Argentina!! My kids have never had one – their friends make fun of them. Their childhood is whizzing by and they’ve missed out on so much, we’ll never get that time back .

    It’s just a shame the CSA & NRP don’t see how their actions (or lack of them!) affects children’s lives.

  • Karen Bedford says:

    Tracy unfortunately you have idiots like brokenfather! Give ‘people’ like him the contempt they deserve and just ignore them! I understand your situation as mine was similar, please join the facebook group Child Support Agencies Failings and you will see others too on there like you (too many) also advice and support which does help, as at least you are not being ripped off to pay some organisation who know nothing who are meant to help! Yes it is the parent who doesnt support the child and abuse the system who is at fault but the CSA do nothing to stop this and let it carry on so they are an accompliance to this. My ex was abusive to my kids aswell as me, he would verbally abuse my daughter – he has a problem with woman as even the others he left behind (after me – who were stupid as I did warn them) he did similar to, He has upset my daughter so many times I have lost count, she hardly bother with him nowadays, my son has nothing to do with him as he witness me being beaten up by a friend of his and even though I have tried over the years to see if his father will make amends (as he seems to think we should!) he never can step up to the mark! Ive had 12 yrs with the CSA – since leaving my ex and still trying to get justice but get ‘stopped’ everyway I turn, even though Ive had numerous complaints upheld, ICE, MP involved, special payments, and advance payment also, Im still waiting 18 months now, for the Tribunal appeals (upper) to grant my appeal – why they cant make a decision – basically I believe because no one has taken it as far as I have so no one can make a decision, Im trying to set a precedent here and I wont give up, I was one of the first cases with the Criminal Compliance Unit and they have the evidence and no one has done a thing with it! My ex has committed so much fraud to the tax man and csa but even though this is a crime, nothing has been done about it! So where is the justice?

  • Brokenfather says:

    Hey, according to my ex I was violent, I was a child abuser, I was a paedophile.

    Just because the mother claims it, doesn’t make it the truth.

    There is obviousloy a reason here why thus father continues to pay Cm for his daughter, but not for his sons.

    The problem here is obvuously the mother not the father ……..

    And why would a resident parent need to make an application to court for contact? They just dictate what they want. What a joke.

  • Average Joe says:

    The first comment unfortunately doesn’t give enough background in order for me to take an informed view of the situation. Since you’ve now added to it, it would seem that I would agree with you.

    The CSA should not exist to provide general maintainance collection, everyone should be forced to sort it out themselves, apparently there is 2 adults in a relationship. Use an independent third party if necessary. CMEC should only become involved as a absolute last resort and then they should come down on the party that isn’t co-operating like a ton of bricks.

    The system needs to be from an equal footing, maintenance and access. Two adults chose to have a child, BOTH of them should take responsibility for them.

  • gambit says:

    Brokenfather, maybe you should stop tarring all mothers with the same brush as your ex!!!!

    I have never restricted my children from seeing their father, and they still do regularly, yet he quits his job every 4 months to avoid CSA payments and ran up debt that I’m still paying off after he got the majority of the profit from the sale of our house, which I paid the mortgage for!!!

    Is that down to the mother too????

    Maybe you should keep your opinions to yourself if you can’t be bothered to read the full story of what’s gone on here. Not all mothers falsely accuse their children’s fathers of violence, in some cases it is true!!!!

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  • Mr Morrell says:

    I agree, there are many mothers who quote violence and child abuse to prevent NRP and child contact to obtain CSA payments (although PWC’s recieve less than the deducted amounts from NRP income, note PWC not child!!!)… however! the most evident offender of child abuse is actually the CSA…

  • Emma says:

    My Gosh!!! Broken father you do have issues and clearly not just with the CSA. The word bitter comes to mind. There are many reasons why relationships fail, why communication between parents becomes strained and why third parties need to be involved. To say that it is always the fault of the mother is very small minded! And with your attitude towrards women and sheer ignorance to the needs of children i am in no way suprised that you have issues. trust me, i wouldn’t let an idiot like you within ten miles of my children. And as for paying child maintenance, being bitter towards your ex does not mean that your children should suffer for it. If you are so innocent as you make out then go to court and fight for your children, pay the money that ensures their needs are met and put them first instead of shooting your big mouth off throwing insults at other people. If you have nothing to hide then i’m sure the courts will grant you access and your children will see that they had a loving dad who faught for them, instead of a pathetic weasel who’s contribution to their upbringing ended witht the donation of sperm!!

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