CSA is always on the woman’s side

May 7, 2010

i had a one night stand with a much older lady from middlesbrough. 6 weeks later she was pregnant, i told her i was to young for this and that i wanted no part. ( i was honest ) after serious thought and wanting to deal with my responsibilites i told her i would try and do the right thing. i was their at the birth, biught prams and everything that i could at the time, got my name put on the birth cirtificate and was seeing him every other day at the mothers house. it soon become obvious that she was looking for a ready made family and then things got complicated as soon as i told her, i am only here to see my son. she tried to suduce me again and again until in the end i had to stop seeing my son for the time being i was paying 200 per month to her at the time.

eventually after all the treats for me not to see him ad bearing in mind she had always told me, ” i dont want your money ” and knowing she comes from a well off family i stopped paying as i didnt like the fact i was being held over a barrel and threatened by a one night stand. because of this, and to ” to get me back ” she got in touch with the csa, gave them all my wrong details! meaning i wasnt getting any post or corospondence. so months later i get my wage slip to see that £615 has been taken and no body had even told me. when i contacted the csa, their attitude was terrible, it was – well its your child and you have to pay.

i said excuse me? do you know me or the situation. they replied NO! but we have been informed that you are the farther. if you are saying you not you need to pay for a dna test and if you are not you dont have to pay and we will refund your money. i couldnt believe what i was hearing. i have to prove it over someones word. the goverment had really pissed me off by now with the way this was all handled. so i left the coiuntry and moved abroad for 2 years to a country where they could not touch me. as time went on, still not knowing if its my child i had no reason not to believe her as it was a one night stand she had no reason to lie about it being mine especially going to the csa if she wasnt sure???.

so i came back to the uk, and i wanted to try and see my son. and explained i need to get my self set up first with work and housing and she was fine and then all of a sudden she things its happy families again and as soon as i put her right. its the threats again and the csa. this is the worse thing that has ever happened and i hate her for this. more so the goverment for the way its dealt with. i.e she had stopped the csa twice before and started it everytime she was annoyed. how can they allow the women to just call up anytime they want and re-open a case.

its bollox

Comments

  • chall says:

    There’s good and bad on either side of the fence, whether PWC or NRP, male or female. Not all are the same…

    The CS system needs a good shake up, to be made fairer for all those cases it fails – But unless parents are prepared to stand up, be non biased and unite together with those that have also been failed, nothing will ever change.

    – click on my user name and join us in the forum at afairercsaforall – Its all FOC and there to be used by parents wanting a better future for CS.

  • Karen Bedford says:

    Just by the title, I didnt read anymore because that is so untrue! If thats the case why after 11 yrs have I never got the money I should have while my ex has lied and got away with everything not to pay and no consequences for him?!

  • martin dell says:

    does he see hes children
    does he have access and how much access
    all this matters it should be no access no money

    not no access and all the money how can parents (i say this to be bais ) say take resonsabilty for your children then refuse and give very little access , if you want him or her to take responabilty for your children you need them to to have access . it not just the money side only it all aspects of it

    i have my girls as much as i can and when i have them on hoilday times i still have to pay a dead beat mum . even when im the pwc and not the nrp i get no reduction and the dead beat mum who is the nrp pays no maintacne and takes no responsabilty for her girls for that time i have them

    so i pay for my girls twice while they are in my care and i pay a dead beat mum for looking after bugger all apart from her self with my money

    bottom line if your refuse the fair access to your x then deal with it
    if you promote a good healthly acces with your x for your children you might have the unlawful and unfair csa been owned with the truth and the real law aka common law

  • j says:

    “CSA is always on the woman’s side
    May 7, 2010
    i had a one night stand with a much older lady from middlesbrough. 6 weeks later she was pregnant, i told her i was to young for this and that i wanted no part. ( i was honest ) after serious thought and wanting to deal with my responsibilites i told her i would try and do the right thing.”

    I would disagree with you, from my experience the csa do seem biased in favour of women over men but in reality the only ‘side’ they are on is the government, so many cases of the money collected not being paid over or going missing makes me think its just a tax collection scam. They do seem to employ people with obvious sexist bias though and that is very sad in this day and age.

    Its ok to be honest after the event but perhaps the honest thing to do is keep it in your trousers or wear protection, dont you worry about std’s? Having said that the lady also has a responsibility to keep her legs closed or go on the pill.

    Its a harsh lesson to learn. Children are lovely but you now have to pay for a very long time for one silly mistake.

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