Will I be better off if I live with my new partner and her daughter?

March 13, 2013

I am writing to you in anger and desperation at the unfairness of my current situation with regard to the Child Support Agency. I shall try and make this as brief as i can.

My daughter Molly was born pre 2003, after a brief relationship with her mother. Before the separation i used some of my inheritance money to pay off roughly £8000 of my partner’s debt.
On separation we established a monthly payment of £200 by mutual consent. A short time later she made the decision to involve the CSA, and I have had to deal with them since.

I have always paid every penny that i am due and have enjoyed sporadic periods of access dependant on her mother’s opinion of me. Throughout the years since then and up to now i have never walked or waned from my responsibilities to Molly and have enjoyed a good relationship with her and have always requested parental responsibilities. This has always been strenuously denied by her mother, and up to this date I have been unsuccessful in gaining this. The CSA calculated on the fantastic old system that i should pay from a 4 weekly wage of £1350, £270.

This equates to roughly 20% of my pay. As i work for HIFRS this comes straight of my wage but the Rescue Service also gives me the opportunity to be promoted, which i currently now have into the training department.

My 4 week wage is now 1850 4 weekly. My ex-partner has now demanded a reassessment of my wage and the CSA now demand £512 every 4 weeks!! This is now 28% of my wage. But an increase in the total amount to pay of 91% when my wage has only increased by 37%. And to top it all off with the absolute injustice is that my ex made the request for reassessment mid-December. I was alerted to this by phone call start of February; i complied and sent in wage slips, heard back last week about my new amount of maintenance payments only to be told that it won’t come into effect until mid-march. Fine i thought, bit of breathing space, no, it’s backdated to when she made the phone call. So from then until when i make the new payments I’ve been owing around £62 per week. Without even knowing i have been accruing debt which will be roughly £700 before i start making the 91% increased payments.

My ex-partner has a mortgage on a 3 bed semi in Culloden, runs her own Hairdressers, Drives a brand new BMW, my daughter has the best of everything and yet sir i live in rented accommodation, still trying to get a housing association home, drive an old seat, currently in a TRUST DEED and struggle from week to week.

Even to be on the post 2003 system would give some relief, but to be honest i wonder how government ministers consider a pre-2003 child needs twice as much money to look after than a post 2003 child. this is not only discriminatory to them but to us fathers or NRP’s as we are known that are still on this old, debt accumulating, proven to not work system.

Sir, there is a massive injustice here, i have a new partner now with her own 7 year old and we cannot even find out if it would be beneficial to live together. I feel i would struggle to contribute to this currently.

I feel that any chance of a life has been taken away by these people who have automated speeches and not a care for the likes of me and the lack of action or ability to keep ruining men’s lives by holding them on an old draconian, malfunctioned, system is frankly against my human rights and an absolute disgrace.


  • Jo says:

    Under old rules your ex’s incomings and outgoings should also be assessed, do you know if this has happened?

    If you move in with your partner and child then a new assessment will need to be in and a reduction made for any dependents in your household, again list all your outgoings and I mean everything. You do not by law have to include your partners income but advise you include any tax credits that you receive as this is put into calculation.

    Only you can make the decision to live with your new partner, im an nrp’s wife and was on old rules which helped my husbands case. Don’t bow down by putting your life on hold, its not forever and have the upper hand, tell csa of any changes asap, put this in writing and send recorded, always leave a paper trail if things are dragging and leave money aside for any delays to stop arrears. Any inaccuracies complain and see your mp….show yoyr ex and the csa that you will not be controlled.

    Also well done for not avoiding your responsibilities. Good luck

  • wilf says:

    Steven:- If you are on the old system old rules then the PWC’s income needs to be taken in to account, except if they are in receipt of benefit or WTC.
    Check your assessment letter to see if it has been updated.
    If not ask for a revision.

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