Why should I pay when I cannot see my daughter?

May 22, 2012

I have not seen my daughter since she was six months old.

I have had no input or chances to see her and the csa still insists that i pay for her. I have two other children who i pay for on my own free will and both parties are happy with that.

I strongly disagree with having to pay for not being a part in a child’s life cause her mum keeps saying no. It is like paying for a tv and not seeing working. I feel strongly to say both parents should be able to make arrangements to pay for children between themselves without someone saying that you hve got to pay so i ask would the mum have to pay if they were the estranged parent?

I would like to see a more fairer system where parents are guided to amicable solutions to resolve maintenance payments thankyou.


  • Carol says:

    That is seemingly the point of the new system coming in where parents will be charged for using the CSA. They want parents to be amicable about matters.

    I am unsure how the new system will work, but if it’s anything like the other 2 then it won’t!!

    The CSA are not interested in access etc. and are only interested in getting money in.

  • Excityboy says:

    Talking about the new system, I read on Wikivorce Forum that there are plans for Child Maintenance liability to increase to age 20 in line with Child Benefit. Is this true or just wishful thinking on behalf of the poster?

  • Alice says:

    I heard this as well.Not in force yet but it could be popped in sometime next year when the new rules come into force.I am hoping that it does not apply to the NRP who is already paying ,We finish this June paying but I have a 16 year son whose dad would be paying another 4 years if so,dont think this is right,An 18 year old is an adult so were does child support come into it when the Adult/Child is 19/20 years.

  • chall says:

    Legislation is in place, Re; Child Maintenance and Other Payments Act 2008

    Meaning of “child”

    For section 55 of the Child Support Act 1991 (c. 48) substitute—

    “55Meaning of “child”

    (1)In this Act, “child” means (subject to subsection (2)) a person who—
    (a)has not attained the age of 16, or
    (b)has not attained the age of 20 and satisfies such conditions as may be prescribed.

    chall ~ afairercsaforall

  • louise says:

    Yes mothers do have to pay as I am one of them and it is only right that i do pay as they are my children. My stbx has manipulated my children and used every trick in the book to do this but won’t admit to he controlling mentally and emotional abuse to me and our children.

  • Excityboy says:

    I take it then, that the CSA only have jurisdiction up to the age of 19 for now?

  • Carol says:

    Yes as long as the child is in full time non advanced education.

  • Alice says:

    The CSA have informed my husband that when the daughter turns 19 in October we have to pay one month in arrears the Monday after her birthday. But on saying that she leaves college on 27th June and starts full time work on the 1st July,so our CS ends 2 weeks after that date.

  • Neil says:

    I also have a son that I do not see and have to pay maintenance, I agree with paying the maintenance as he is my son and I have recently been able to access him through Facebook. The problem I have is that non resident parents get penalised for the mistakes of the resident parent, twice in my case.

    My first partner decided to end our engagement and relationship two days after my son was born with no explanation and then demanded money through the CSA. And i wasnt the first cause she had another son, (some of you may say i should have seen it coming). Because at the time he was my only child I was stung for a lot of money (can’t remember the amount but it was the old way of calculacting CSA and I got hammered). My complaint here is that it was her decision to terminate the relationship and put herself in that position but I got penalised for it and she got rewarded, and before you women and feminist jump up and down, she got given benefits and a hefty sum in maintenance for what she did but where is the deterrent for her doing it again?

    My second partner I was married to nd had two children with her, the oldest was 2 years when we separated, this separation was due to her having an affair. Yet again, the CSA chased me down and I had to pay three amounts of maintenance. Again the resident parent was in my opinion rewarded for her action and given benefits and maintenance. Same as before no deterrent for her doing it again.

    So, the biggest problem for me is not the paying maintenance but why the CSA do not take the actions of both parents into account, if the resident parent has caused the breakup of the relationship then that should be taken into account when calculating maintenance, but the CSA don’t give a rats ass what the resident parent has done all they care about is grabbing as much money as they can from the non resident parent. The whole system stinks and is very heavily weighted to resident parent.

    Ok, gonna get off my soap box now, and thank you all for your time reading this.

    From another victim of the CSA

  • Steve says:

    This is a terrible and unjust system. I spent 50k in legal fees trying to see my daugther after my ex left me when she was 6 months old. She was a solicitor so knew how to play the game. I got screwed and she broke courts orders constantly but seemed to get away with it. Everyime i made any progress, she would move further away until it become impossible and was affecting my health. I havent seen her now for a year and have given up fighting but the CSA still demand a fortune off me and are now saying they made amistake in my calculation 3 years ago and are backdating it. The thing is, my ex is loaded and owns 3 homes and earns more than me but CSA dont care. This system was designed to stop men getting women pregnant then doing a runner and leave the mother to fend for herself. I agree with that but not all cases are like that – if a mother truly is so evil to want to prevent a father (who has done NOTHING but love hisdaughter) from seeing the child, WHY she he also be punished financialyl ? If she wants financial suppor., she should me forced to let me part of my daughters life. its criminal.

  • tj says:

    some needs to start a facebook page… so all farther who pay csa can stand to gether if we all stop paying at the same time the system would crash

  • rob says:

    i have the same issues my ex was happy to let me see my daughter for the first month after we broke up and was happy for me to pay towards her monthly as soon as i met someone else she refused to let me see her and brought up loads of accusations at my current partner of child abuse which were all untrue , put my daughter through hell going to all these tests and was proved to all be completely unjustified accusations and proved untrue , she then gave me supervised vsits for 6 weeks and then gave me one unsupervised visit , eveyrthing was ok untill the week after when she found out i took my daughter to sainsburys for a bag of fruit without telling her .. she then stopped all access to my daughter and involved the csa , i have no issues with paying for my daught .if anything im very happy to but dont understand why i have to when she doesnt have to give me access , she says “take me to court” but i cant afford to whilst i am paying csa .. what am i meant to do?
    the only reason she will not let me see my daughter is cause f my partner
    i now havent seen my daughter in three months and the more it goes on the less it looks like i am doing but there is nothing i can do ..im over a barrel … any suggestions

  • Jamie says:

    I have’nt saw my son for nearly 5 years, he will be 9 on his birthday. I fought through the courts for contact but my ex was hellbent on me not seeing him and it ended up costing me thousands. The csa are taking £73 per week from my wages and it has affected my life, my health and the rest of my family as they have all missed out on seeing their grandson-nephew-cousin growing up. It is financially impossible for me to go back to court as i am still paying up my last legal bill at £20 per week for 6 years and £73 per week to csa. Im basically paying £400 per month with no prospects of seeing my son! We all miss him so much, can anybody tell me something that can help me? Thankyou!

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