Why should I pay the CSA when I can’t see my children?

June 4, 2009

I have been paying back pay for the last 2yrs because my daughters mother my ex told the csa i had never paid a penny when infact she used to get 200£ a month off me but it was cash.

I havent seen my daughter for god knows how long and have no choice but leave it till she is older as my ex makes it impossible for me because she has a new husband and doesnt want anything ruining what they have!!!!

but yet i still have to pay
my daughter hasnt even got my last name anymore she has been adopted my her mums new husband.

why do i always read on forums and on csa that the dads/fathers are in the wrong when its not always the case.

I’m in the army and was on tour when my ex up and left with my daughter and ever since it has been broken contact there should be rights and laws about this.

if a mother doesnt want thier children to have anything to do with the fathers then why should they be allowed any money on a monthly basis???


  • john says:

    oi fed up civil servant shut your fucking mouth you idiot, i would love to come face to face with someone like you and squeeze the fucking life out of you, you aint got a fucking clue, csa is all for the child fucking bollocks wipe that shit from your mouth you idiot. The csa have never been for the child they couldnt give two fucks, and yes they are a run for profit company and it has been proven, they push nrp’s in to a corner so they have no option but to give up there job or commit suicide, the amount of innocent lives the csa have claimed is unbeliveable and that is only the ones we know about. It is a corrupt government system that should be shut down and go back to going through solicitors and going to court to decide that was fair, the system they have now is not, who the fuck do they think they are going to there employers and taking monies direct from there wages that is UNLAWFUL or applying a liability order to there home what happened to human rights and the bil of rights, its so unlawful its unreal and WHY is this allowed to happen??? because it is the good old BRITISH GOVERNMENT SUPRISE SUPRISE this should not be allowed to happen it would not be allowed to happen in any other country. RANT OVER

  • Gill says:

    I’m at the point of stopping contact between my ex an his children. 1.he’s a violent selfish man,sorry boy!,with anger issues. 2.he wont pay for his children because all he wants to do is go out and get drunk and take drugs.I know he loves his children but I am not prepared to put them in danger as they’ve witnessed several fights before when staying at his mums house,most of these between his mum an dad believe it or not,now I know where he gets it from! He has been violent to me in the past an calls me horrible names in front of the kids,to which they have called me aswell.I’ve told him that I’ll claim csa an all he says is “you do it then an I’ll jus come out of work an claim dole cos you’ll only get a fiver a week”,how immature!! I have social services notes from him crackin open my head in the past an also for the children witnessin him gettin beaten up by his cousin,while his mum an dad watched from a distance,SICK!! I did want the kids to have a relationship with him because he is their dad but now I want to stop contact completely. I don’t know what my rights are but will speak to a solicitor soon.I just wanted to say that I am one of the minority of women that undr different circumstances I would love my kids to have a relationship with their dad,as I am so close to mine,but some men don’t make it easy to come to that decision

  • Lisa says:

    Can i just say… My ex hasnt paid a penny since my son was born, you men complain about csa but thats not even close to what parents have to pay monthly to look after your child! me and my partner pay 500 pound a month just in nursery fees! thats not nappies, clothes, food, days out toys etc etc! if you dont want to provide for your child then wear a condom!

  • John says:

    The CSA are no different from the Nazis in my opinion!! They care nothing for the child, its all about money!! It should be renamed the Government Support Agency!! I spent £3000 on a solicitor trying to get access to my 8 year old daughter, that was 4 years ago, she rarely turned up, and when she did and got threatened with going to jail for not turning up, she then turned round and said she saw Daddys willy!!! Well surprise surprise!!! A bitter twisted bastard she is but I never thought even for her she would stoop so low!!! And as for CAFCASS, what a set of useless bastards they are!!! I hope they ROT! As it is I now have a £15000 bill, a £411 DOE order, I used to pay £287 a month through DOA right, I got a bill, I said what about the £287’s? They said what £287’s? EEEHHHH!!!! So I had to send them all my payslips, they didnt even know about them!!! Talk about the height of incompetance!! So that was 3 years ago, got another bill for £15000, oh and guess what? No £287’s on there!!! I refuse to talk to them!!
    The day someone killed themselves over the CSA is the day it sould have been scrapped for good!! I fucking HATE them with a passion!!

  • Jane says:

    My partner was in a relationship when he was younger and made the stupid mistake of trusting this women. His own fault but he didn’t use protection, she stopped taking the pill and got herself pregnant. He stuck by her until his on was 3 months old, he didn’t want to be in this relationship but was there for the sake this son. He left and and we got together a couple months later. She has put him through hell f mor the last 11 1/2 years. She didn’t except he was with me at first and kept trying all sorts to get him back. My partner on a regular basis paid her and tried to see his son once a week when she would allow. He has had times when he is out of work due to the nature of his job and therefore been unable to pay sometimes. As soon as he has money coming in he pays her some money. The problem is she is on benefits, is sat on her arse all day, playing computer games, eating KFC or Chinese. When my partners son was young we would pick him up at 11am and he would still be in his nappy from the night before and he would still be in bed. We’ve paid out extra at times for electric or food for the kids (she had another kid with another like about 3 years after) as she said she hasn’t got any. She is so money orientated it drives my partner insane. “can I have my son this week?” “have you got money?” this was the conversation every week. We moved abroad and were out of the csa jurascriction so didn’t have to pay so instead we brought his son over for holidays spending money on new clothes and toys for him to takehome. We have since moved back to the uk and my partner has worked for a couple of places that have closed down.
    It’s got to the stage now that if he hasn’t got any money he won’t contact her to see his son as he knows what the answer would be. He now hasn’t seen his son for 18 months, she’s changed her number, won’t answer the door I him or his family and has told his son nasty things about him (which aren’t true). I believe she has cut all contact because we now have a child together.
    He wants to see his son, but we can’t afford a solicitor and earn too much for legal aid. We just about get by on the money we have. She has just found out he has started a new job and is contacting the csa (heard on the grapevine).
    It’s not fair he will be paying for her luxury whilst we suffer, he would be much happier to pay for food clothes anything he really needed but doesn’t want to pay the csa for her to put straight in her pocket. (his son goes round in dirty ripped clothes, and on several occasions when we’ve picked him up at 3pm not had anything to eat that day even tough my partner has paid her £50 a week.)
    It’s such hard work when all he wants to do is see his son, there is nobody out there to help fathers they are all for the mums, and this coming from a mum. I support rights for fathers because I’ve been on the other foot and know hat it’s like.

  • Dan says:

    I paid £700 child maintenance per month and £700 spousal maintenance per month for 3 years.

  • bryan frater says:

    due to money problem i decided to work away from my family i would travel back every 4-6 weeks and send money every month, the plan was to find a place to live and move the family 235 miles away but as time went on i realized i know longer loved my ex, from birth i raised both my children as well as working full time hours after she had an affair and i took her back she fell pregnant with our second child by pinning the condoms i used but i forgave for the children but as said working away made me see that love had gone so i decided to end the relationship, after ten months i have met someone who has children from a previous relationship and decided it was time to tell my ex this at which point she has stopped my contact i earn only 600 a month but pay 200 maintenance without question as well as extras for school clothes and bit n bobs i have no issue with the amount i pay as it is my duty as a father but i could no longer stay with her as i did not want my children to believe that our relationship is how it should be, there is more i could say but my question is this if i decided to travel down pack their bags and bring them back to live with me what can she do under law to stop this

  • chall says:

    Quote bryan frater on July 1st, 2012 7:11 pm;

    ‘my question is this if i decided to travel down pack their bags and bring them back to live with me what can she do under law to stop this’

    It depends…
    How old are your children?
    Is a Residency Order in place?
    Do your children want to live with you?

    chall ~ afairercsaforall

  • michael says:

    i am on a very low wage and have a family to support i dont mind payin child maintance aslong as i no its goin to my kids in gettin the things they need however this is not the case it is infact goin towards my exs husband drug habbit i have complained to social services and csa about this to no avail i dont think i father should pay csa if he dosent get to see his kids (to no fault of his own) and if it is not being used for what it is supposed to be used for csa are total rubbish and frankly have no idea what they are doing


    You should not have to pay any childsupport to another adult. Women use kids as their job. If you choose to not give 50/50…choose to not have your hand out either and raise your child on your own.

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