Why should I pay so much if I can’t see my kids?

September 12, 2013

A few years ago i owed 1600 even tho i thought it was coming out of my pay check, i was told i must pay all of this in one go as it is the number one debt in this country, i ask of there was any way i could set up a payment plan it was met with a unfortunately sir we cant.

I later had another kid, me and the ex wife have now split and i must now pay 20%. It took csa over year to make an assessment and put me back into debt of over 1500, i have since lost my job and got my self in trouble with the police, i have been stopped by both parents from seeing my kids even tho its unrelated to my children or my ex’s.

i am now on benefits and I get £5 a week of my money i don’t mind paying it but when i get back to work soon in expected to pay over £200 a month when i still need to pay other bills etc and get my own place as at my dads house im 24 and want to move out, is there anything i can do to lower this or anything, no offence to people who do not agree with me but why should we have to pay so high when we don’t get to see the ones we all love the most.

On top of this csa want me to pay a lump some of what is owed


  • adrian says:

    Yes stay on the dole….the goverment needs to understand that taking to much has a negative result for both parents and the only one that suffers are the children

  • claire says:

    200 a month for 2 kids? That’s pretty decent…. You kbow it costs a hell of a lot more than £100 a month to keep a child. Maybe if you didn’t get in trouble with the police then you would still see ur kids and if you cared that much you would get ur butt to a lawyer and fight to c them. If your not willing to pay for your kids then dont have them. Kids need clothes, fed, a roof, gifts at Christmas/birthdays, days out, school clothes. For 2 kids it’s £20 a week alone for school dinners, so if you think ur hard done by then think again!

  • Ash says:

    I agree with adrian on this and im afraid claire is another bitter and twisted mother. I pay over 600 a month for my kids and had no problems paying i had my kids 2 weekends a month and half of all holidays. Until the ex got a new partner who wanted a pot noddle family now she has changed her number and stopped all contact with my kids. If anyone out there can justify why I should carry on paying. And as for the get a solicitor and fight well im doing that and its costing a small fortune all of which is worth it for my kids but would not be necessary if mothers didn use kids as weapons.the system is wrong and out dated and a disgrace

  • rachael swan says:

    I agree with ash and Claire both bring up valid points , it’s not fair on the kids what happens when their families fall apart ! Both parties need to realise children need money to be brought up , it takes a mam and a woman to make a baby and until that child is old enough to be able to provide for themselves it’s their parents duty to provide .
    Children aren’t ammunition and should never be used like this , my ex left when my youngest was 4 months old with another woman .
    He has paid what he has been told he needs to pay up until now as he has decided he wants to leave his £50000 a year job as “he misses his gf as he’s away all the time ” ! But at which point have my two girls entered his mind ?? He has told Csa he won’t be working and won’t be claiming and he’s doing this because he can’t afford to pay Csa ???? I don’t care end of day kids can see their dad , my new husband provides for us and so do I . The girls will know when they older we provided for them and not him . Basically you make a child you provide for it , if you don’t you suffer the consequences . Some mothers and fathers are good parents and others simply are not , my concern would be my children and not the money as they get older they tend to make up their own minds . It is however harsh to call someone bitter and twisted as this works both ways everyone’s situation is different . I should be bitter and twisted but honestly everyone has different reasons for their actions and I wouldn’t have my girls without their dad and I wouldn’t have my wonderful husband had my ex not walked out .

  • Bella says:

    There is so much wrong with the CSA but this is by far the worst. It should be no access – no money. How dare they let mothers use children as weapons and break their children’s bond with their Dad and still get paid for it!

    That said, you my friend should put something on the end of it…..

  • Sally says:

    Both parents should provide for their parents but the amount they should pay is in dispute and always will be because child maintenance does not take into account the income of the PWC or the essential outgoings of the NRP…. there is no difinitve amount that it costs to raise a child as each situation is different but everyone needs to be realistic!!

    The CSA encourages PWC to use them by promising them more money and the CSA lie, fabricate arrears and make the rules up as they go along (the staff are to thick to undestand them, let alone explain them to NRP or PWC)…

    PWC should NOT be allowed to stop fathers seeing their children just because they have a new relationship its 100% wrong and the children are being deprived of the two parents who produced them…. it shouldn’t be about the money, it should be about what is in the best interests of the child and that is something the CSA do NOT care about!!!

    If a mother stop a father from seeing his children because she has found a new boyfried then the father should have the right to stop paying child maintenance….

  • Andy mac glasgow says:

    Fcuk the csa!!!

  • Matthew says:

    I haven’t seen my baby girl for five years lasted time was at my dad Furneal which was a phone call from csa saying that it had gone up my payments
    I was why
    because your not seeing your daurght again
    what only saw her yesterday
    the mother has spoken to us and told us that ur daurght doesn’t want to see you anymore.
    nine years old my baby was believe me all I wanted to do was what I did cry I cried like you wouldn’t believe I losted so so so much
    My dad my baby my home filed for bankruptcy
    Life was xxxx my dad has no head stone because I have no money I just qualified as a joiner this is November that year got sack for being qualified really wage rise boss just couldn’t do it cause he is another that abuses people anyway there is so much that csa do to you with not seeing my baby drives you crazy and they have changed her name not to her new married name to her xmotherinlaws name then was asked I registered my baby.
    My baby girl is now 15 and hates my guts she sent me a photo giving me the bird off her mothers phone
    And I’ve had to report to police threats from the xwife coming to see me with her family we have 45 miles between us police give me log number which I had to send to csa cause they threatened to send my address to her.
    In court next month over arrears 6000 grand they reck I owe court send me a letter saying no decision has been made please attend next month like
    Get letter from csa same day saying they have made decision and I owe more another 1300 more lol so I’m going court cause they couldn’t decide but csa could so I owe even more lol head is mashed
    My advise would be at the age of ten in the sex class at school and I would explain to the boys what really happens when the women gets or runs out of money
    She sells her soul to the devil csa
    I m serious about this thou ill wait to see the out come of court first like waited long enough but I’m just going to end it to be honest I’ve lost what you can never get back I’m 40 no job and just dragging people down around me I have nothing left to take
    Matt x

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