Why should I pay for my husband’s ex when she’s better off than me?

April 9, 2013

Im a wife to someone who pays csa; now dont get me wrong you should pay but a few years back my husband who always pay his ex in her hand took his kid on holiday for 2 weeks so when we got back we only gave the ex 2 weeks money because we had bought new clothes for the holiday and had her for 2 weeks but no that wasnt good enough. She wanted all the money because she had all her bills to pay she even told us what the money goes on.

So we said no and thats when it started, she went to csa and told them that we were not paying. Well thankfully my husband had proof that we had been paying but the csa still got involved which i dont think they should of but now the kids coming up to 18 is at college (only 3 days a week) and has got a night time job, but weve still got to pay and to top it off we have got to pay up till she is 20. How the hell is that right? Me and my husband are finding things a bit hard at moment is making me ill to a point where im thinking off leaving my husband because i cant take anymore. Why should i pay for someone whos better off then me?


  • bleeding heart says:

    As hard as it may be you MUST stick together.. The CSA is totally biased towards the pwc and no matter who you turn to for help, whether it be ICE, solicitors, your MP, parliamentary ombudsman you are on your own and need each other. We are in a similar situation. Who decides the amount of money it costs to keep a child per week? Do you receive the same amount for children in your new family in family allowance? Not likely.. We as fathers nrps understand our obligations and that we should pay and responsible fathers always have,. The CSA unfortunately is used as a weapon and fathers who already pay are victimised because we are easy targets.. My bitter ex wife stopped my children having overnight contact because she was missing out on £4.00 per week. Now I have no contact, still pay maintenance and was left with court bills of 20k obtaining two contact orders which she breaks and courts do nothing about. The children are the responsibility of BOTH parents and the mother must also contribute. Would I be speaking truthfully if I said the majority of pwc claim family allowance, child tax credits, working tax credits, single parent benefits for such things as council tax and also receive maintenance (which is not included as earnings or benefits) and if they work a salary. Meanwhile when the wind changes my ex contacts the CSA and says I have had a big salary increase etc and I have to prove i haven’t.. Not she has to prove I have… She can do this once a month… This is just the tip my friends… I have now been told my payments are soon to be calculated against money I don’t even see ie pension, company car tax etc.. In short a percentage of my GROSS WAGE. Before my tax & ni & pension have been taken off!! Wake up and find out how this will affect you…. NOW

  • Gonk says:

    I have decided that this MELINDA BAS is a fucking wind up merchant.
    You talk utter bollocks….if my mum and dad had your opinion and attitude about when one stops or does not stop supporting their kids financially….. The family would have remained in poverty and scraping the barrel each day to survive.
    I had to go out and work at 16 after I left school and surport my family as did my other brothers and sisters when they turned 16.

  • Gonk says:

    What certain age does that CHILD become an adult 40-50 maybe? Or maybe when they reach retirement age and in your opinion should one as a parent stop supporting them once they reach that adult stage ……bloody idiot!!!!

  • Gonk says:

    Melinda said

    You traded 2 weeks holiday for child maintenance, for the child being with you doesn’t mean that there are no expenses for him/her back with his/her mother.

    What complete crap…yes the mother might have had expenses but they have not come about because of the child not being with her for 2 week, how’s she gathered expenses for a kid she not had for a fortnight,so what the hell kinda statement is that you made ??????

  • Lisa says:

    @ Gonk,

    I have to agree with you mate, this women talks some vile shite, maybe she has nothing better to do than make people feel miserable because she is a miserable bag with no life,
    Oh wo is me, We have all have to live, just a bloody shame the CSA dont see it this way, or greedy mums for that either,

  • carol says:

    Hey Im 37 years of age….BUT….I am still someones child….ooo goody, was strapped for cash and thought that because I am over 18, I had to sort my own shit out, but hey, if my parents are parents until the day they are 6ft under, think I shall have to hit them up for some MONEY because, I am still a child….

    oh that is priceless!!!!!

    what utter rubbish. I am sorry, but if you are big and hard enough to slog it around the town on a weekend, drive, and do whatever you like within the statute legislations, then you are big enough to sort your finances out throughout college/uni….just like everyone else who doesnt have a parent being wrenched by the csa.

    Its called….BEING AN ADULT

    support from parents through college/uni is usually entirely voluntary

  • Lisa says:

    @ Carol,
    I couldt have put it better myself,

  • Gonk says:

    Very well worded….I tell you…it beggers believe how the minds of some people work.
    Melinda….u really are from another galaxy

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