What’s to stop all mothers behaving like my ex?

February 13, 2014

I have been separated from my ex for nearly 4 years. She moved out of the family home with our two children. I got regular contact and paid her a monthly sum via the CSA which I was happy to do. I continued to live in the former family home (jointly owned by us). It has been for sale for 4 years but no buyers as yet. To speed up a possible sale, the ex moved back in with the kids in January this year.

Ex and I sleep in separate rooms but the kids are with us both every night and the house is shared by us all except for her and my bedrooms. All costs (and I mean ALL costs) for the house and kids are split 50/50. We agreed this before she moved back. She gets all the Child Benefit paid to her and always has done. She runs her own business and gets a good salary from this – probably £15K to £20K per annum. I earn £27K per annum. Yet she is still using the CSA to hassle me, claiming we are two households, not one, and demanding I still pay her the same monthly CSA amount (£230 per month) on top of our agreement. CSA keep asking the same personal questions even though I have told them all of the above. I thought the criteria for Child Maintenance was based on the Non Resident Parent’s (NRP) earnings with a deduction based upon the number of nights the children spent at the NRPs house.

If the CSA side with her on this matter, what is preventing every mother in the land who lives in the same house as the Father of her children going to the CSA (or Child Maintenance Service as it is now known) and making a claim against the Father?


  • Richard Gent says:

    Alli and Mike…I shall make enquiries about joint residency / custody. Sally and Andrew, I shall make a counter claim. I was not convinced I could do that but it is worth a go.

    Del, Simon and Lothian… thanks for the support. It is good to know I am not alone in this.

    To Cathy, it is true, this situation has left me a little better off, but my ex is also better off as well. Our net incomes are about the same and if we lived in separate homes, I would start payments again tomorrow. Implying that I should just accept this situation and keep paying her is not OK with me. It is abuse of a system that is there to help PWC where the NRP is not supportive or where mediation between separating parents on child support costs has not worked.. It is not a gravy train!!

  • Gonk says:

    I don’t see any case here at all, surely she does not have one? You are NOT an absent parent, she is NOT a pwc. You both pay 50/50. The kids are neither with him or her but both of you.
    I can’t see how or what the hell it’s got to do with the CSA at all.
    I’d say null and void

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