What should I do after one night stand says I’m the father?

September 20, 2017

I aim to keep this short as I’m so fed up of talking about it.

I had a drunken one night stand, woke up naked in a randoms bed. Later thought about the situation and realised I had been stupid I instantly found her on facebook and told her that I couldn’t remember using protection and offered to pick her up to take the morning after pill and she said no it’s fine I’ll sort it… 12 weeks later (now in a relationship with someone I can see my self being with for a long time) I find out off a mate she’s pregnant and talk to her saying wtf why haven’t you even messaged me, her reply was something along the lines of I didn’t even consider you as a contender.. keeping my cool I get her number and call her finding out she had 2 other one night stands that same weekend (making me feel even more disgusting seeing as it was the first time for me to have one) and they have both been pestering her to abort it, me trying to be mature over the mater was like ok next steps.. she said she wasn’t happy with us taking a DNA test untill it was born, I recently find out I’m the fartger.

No I’m not happy about the situation and am going to pay support but my real problem is I don’t want anything to do with this kid and she hasn’t stopped harrasing me and messaging my friends and family. Most of my family are in my side but she’s been pulling my mum’s strings all she can think about is this kid growing up without a dad but this girl has a new boyfriend now how would it be fair on the kid for me to go in and out of its life all the time I don’t want that I don’t have time and it’s not fair on the kid! I feel that it’s better for him not knowing me rather than knowing me as the dad who never wanted him.. it’s ruining my relationship with my girlfriend and it’s tearing me apart it’s so hard!

Yes I take full responsibility for not wearing protection but in my case it looks like she was out to get pregnant from the start, I feel robbed of my sperm. Money can always be made and yeah I’ll be broke for 18 years but why should I have to have anything to do with something IV been trapped into.. ahhhh see it just goes on and I want it to go away, any advise appreciated


  • David says:

    Sam2009, put simply, you are an absolute idiot! Why would you not wear a condom? You don’t even know this girl; she could be carrying the Aids virus for all you know!

    Further, you are helping to bring a child into this world. It is not his or her fault and deserve to know both father and mother. Do you know the psychological damage you will inflict on the child if they do not ever get to know you? Why do you suppose we have such a disaffect society? To a large extent, it’s because children (boys in particular) grow up not knowing their father’s. Dad’s role are even more important that mother’s because they have a duty to both discipline and shape their children’s characters.

    Paying your way financially is no where near enough. It would be better for the child to have a father.

    Your attitude is deplorable.

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