Trying to get maintenance for 16 years from my ex

October 25, 2011

Every case is different.

I’ve been trying to get maintenance for 16 years from my ex. Although he’s never left the area and the CSA have always had his address/phone number they’ve struggled because he is self employed.

Because it was a little more difficult than an employed NRP they just didn’t bother. Many many complaint letters, e-mails, phone calls later they managed to get a liability order in place and he’s paying £15 a week off a £33,000 debt.

The CSA are looking into an advance payment and although I know I will get something, I am not expecting anywhere near the full amount as they will only pay an advance payment where maladministration has occurred. My ex will then repay the CSA at £15 a week.

I feel I deserve it and I plan to treat the kids who are now 18 and 20 but for the most part it was me who went without over the years so the kids didn’t have to. I’ve worked 2 jobs for the last 13 years and have never claimed benefits although it’s been a struggle sometimes.

And if any of you bitter NRPs don’t like it, then it makes me wonder why you’re defending a parent who has done everything he can to avoid facing his responsibilities (including leaving a well paying job because of the AOE), never owning a property or car and basically avoiding being on paper anywhere.


  • Mick says:

    I am a NRP and i agree with you completely. The NRP should be made to pay but being self employed does make it very difficult for the CSA to nail him. I applaud the fact that you have not languished on benefits like the PWC to my daughter. I would never even try to defend a dead beat NRP, but there is one thing you got that he will never have. The love and respect of your kids. That is something he will NEVER have. His loss, not yours.

  • karen bedford says:

    Please join the facebook groups child support agencies failings and others for support and advice as this is unfortunately common

  • Dawn says:

    I have been fighting for 13 years and my ex owes £30000..I have worked 2 jobs to support my child with absolute no input. I have been told by the CSA that my ex doesnt have to pay if he really doesnt want to. He keeps changing jobs and moving around the country.

    When they catch up, he uses one of the many loopholes to delay things then he moves on again.

    Why does the legislation allow for this? Why are the Parents with Care not given proper support instead of excuses?

    I am aware that there are many non resident parents who are wonderful parents and are willing to support their child, but something has to be done about those who constantly evade action.

  • Joanna says:

    I couldn’t agree more Dawn.

    Although I’m eligible for an advance payment and the process into securing this has been ongoing since July 2011, I still seem to be hitting obstacles at every turn.

    My case was finally being presented to the ‘senior manager’ (who remains nameless and you can’t possibly speak to them or get a call back from them). Instead of the good news regarding a payment I was informed and I quote ‘the senior manager was concerned about the level of arrears and the time it’s taken to secure them’. Exactly how did they think I’d reached this point? And concerned? They are not the only ones. In an attempt to try to placate me whilst the senior manager now looks into the arrears/time, I was promised a ‘special payment’. After days of trying to find out the amount and it’s £250. I’m insulted to say the least.

    So my advice to anyone applying for an advance payment is don’t count on it going through quickly, if at all. It appears that the team that look after this part of the agency are as inept as the rest of them (although I have to say there are one or two who have been quite helpful and do phone back when they say which makes a big difference).

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