Three different mothers all bleeding me dry through the CSA
The CSA have not treated me equally to the mother, they expect me to pay the bill for a DNA Test of 3 children even if I am presumed to be the parent of each child. Is it not fair to say, the mother’s causing this conflict should have resolved the matter of child maintenance with me instead of actually immature and saying “I am going straight to the Child Support Agency” instead.
None of the mothers have approached me for payment which I would have gladly settled these disputes between us instead of using the ruthless force of the child support agency. On some occasions, I have actually walked out of my job, the child support agency said “we can take 40-50% of your wages. I worked numerous hours to try and meet ends meet when the csa forced me to pay ridiculous amounts of money to them for child maintenance. I could not afford a home address and had to live with my parents for years and in some instances, the csa made me homeless as I had no way to subsidize for myself.
The mothers, Elizabeth Goodwin, Dawn Caddick and Leanne Tonge insisted on using the csa just to use the children as weapon against me in spite.
Since then rather than settling disputes of child maintenance for years the child support agency cause me a lot of pressure that I cannot find work suitable. This has led to gaps in my CV and working towards University Qualifications passed in my early 20s, this has been a waste of time. Employers now do not want to know me as I do not have enough experience for my dream job or any job for that matter.
I have decided to set up on my own and yet again the child support agency continue to cause pressure. At some time I have also lost my car, my home again and most importantly my freedom and choices as a man. I am forced in every way by the child support agency to do as they want infringing my freedom I have to inform them as failure to do so is a criminal offence. This is something they keep stressing again and again, its a criminal offence not notify us of a change of address and its a criminal offence not to pay child maintenance. I am constantly harassed with phone calls, letters and the threats continue for years. Sending out forms to me to ensure I pay and trying to pressure me in a recession when I can just about keep my business above water let alone put food on table, pay the rent and council tax for my property.
This has also caused upset by the child support agency in relationships, leading to numerous breakdowns in relationships and constantly an unbalanced lifestyle.
I say axe the CSA and bring in an Authority that is equal to both parent and not right wing towards the mother. Can I say, I feel as though my rights to freedom in respect of the Human Rights Act have considerably been infringed.
Kind regards,
Jason Tonge
8 thoughts on “Three different mothers all bleeding me dry through the CSA”
Leave a Reply
Ever thought it might be you thats the problem and not them? For 3 different woman all to do the same thing, it says more about you than them.
Why on earth did you go on to have babies with 3 different women if you werent prepared to be a proper dad?
Jules, I have 3 children with 2 different mothers does that mean I have no intention of being a proper dad?
A bit of a harsh assumption as Jason has stated that he would have gladly dealt with the 3 women had they come to him face-to-face. I arranged child maintenence payments with the 2 mothers I have mentioned, they decided to talk to each other behind my back and go to the CSA because they believed they could get more out of me.
It backfired as I was already paying more than the CSA dictate so I have reduced the money accordingly, this is my act of spite. They have also tried to get in touch with the Army to see if they are entitled to a share of my pension. Hardly playing fair are they?
In addition to this the mother of the youngest child has insisted the only contact I am allowed to have is alone (ie my fiancee not present) and at her house only. Anything just get me alone with her and cause issues between me and my fiancee.
I agree with Jason, the CSA is totally biased towards the mother, it was designed and brought into existence to chase fathers who dodge their responsibilities but the truth is they just harass the guys who already trying to be reasonable.
John, i wasnt commenting on your situation it was on Jason’s. Firstly coming from the mums’s point of view – i can assure you that the csa is not biased towards the mother.
But going back to the OP, the mothers shouldnt have to approached him for maintenance he should be offering it. Why did he feel the need to name them in full on here? That’s his childrens mothers that he is talking about in a very public way.
Seems strange that all of the mums have went to the csa, if he’s approachable why hasnt at least one of them managed to sort it out with him without the csa.
Not all parents with care go to the csa because they want more money, for many they just want to know there will be a regular payment and not have the stress of arguments when its not
@ jules – that’s it exactly – not all PWCs go to the CSA for more money, they go through necessity and desperation… my issue is that the CSA should be helping those people more because they are genuine cases and should make more effort to find the ‘absent’ parent, however the CSA go after the NRP’s who do actually pay and make up fictitious arrears etc to make it look as though they are doing good i.e. collecting over £1.4 million last year (not sure of exact figures)… but the money they collect does nothing for the PWC they are still not receiving any money!!
The CSA ‘rules’ allows greedy mothers to abuse the system to get more money ….. !!
These women left me and went direct to the csa and insisted on going through the csa than myself to use the children as a weapon! Not only that, the CSA are forcing me to pay for a DNA Test with the third child. That in itself, is a biased decision to rebut the presumption of parentage if the mother is making an application to the csa for child maintenance.
In no way, have I ever refused to pay and have paid csa child maintenance through my previous employer. I went public with these women as they are not traceable and run off with my children and made an application for child maintenance. They refuse me to visit any of the children at no fault of myself. Hence, they are using the csa for financial gain.
Running off with your children is unreasonable and the csa chose to help out these women and not knowing the actual circumstances that have transpired. For years I have been unable to trace these children and when I try to make contact, the mother refuses and children are scared with low level care received as I find out and take legal steps to help the children. From the very start I find out facts contrary to proper levels of care a child is supposed to receive and when it comes to talking to the mothers, they refused. One mother also went as far as being absent and refusing to care for one of the children who is now 18 years old and her personality is disastrous. I tried everything to attempt to get these children out of the low level of care received, but I failed due to the legal system and the CSA being favorable towards mothers.
When I took high legal steps to stop this mistreatment the mother who was absent did not pay any child maintenance through the CSA. This was also a biased decision as the child was with the grandparents and the aunt. Every time I work I insist to pay child maintenance, I am not a run away dad, but principally I need to know the true facts in every case before a maintenance assessment.
Jules, you are obviously not looking at the true facts which I now disclose to be frank, these women are taking these children, not allowing parentage by the father i.e., myself for no reason and using the CSA and the child as a weapon against myself as the father. Is it not true to say, a child needs to know both parents and should not have to find out when they are an adult if and only if the level of care received by the father is free from friction etc? This is the case in every case with the exception of the final one with the third mother. She chose to run off whilst it was touch and go with her pregnancy and she even stated I am not the father. All women except one have failed to disclose an address to come to an arrangement for child maintenance and have gone direct to the CSA.
One final word: The mother that has disclosed the address now no longer discloses an address because she has moved. She continues along with the other women to make applications for child maintenance through the CSA. In two cases out of the three, I have attempted to come to an arrangement for child maintenance without the use of the CSA. Whereby the CSA constantly harass with telephone calls, letters and have high threats to remove property from your property with the help of a Bailiff, take away a driving licence, a passport and impose pointless prison sentences for none payers. When they come out of prison they still owe the CSA and the CSA can demand they go back to prison for none payment. This is like being a prisoner in your own country once such events transpire especially taking away your right to a passport. The mother on the other hand, does unjust against the child, she receives help already from the Government and in circumstances of prison, no parent however may be a few would not want to subject their child to a prison visit at fault of their own.
The measures for none payment of CSA should not follow similar principles for criminal contact. This is going over board and over the top! As the rule states its not against the law to owe people or companies money and should follow civil proceedings and not criminal principles through the Courts. Absolutely absurd contrary to public policy and the CSA seem to try to make their own presumptions, they know they have this power and take advantage using fictitious amounts of child support maintenance assessments. They even go as far as saying I can take between 40-50% of your wages. Does this give a parent an incentive to work knowing they are going to struggle to meet ends meet living off limited means of subsistence. I think this does myself, it is totally improper, immoral and ethically as well as politically wrong to sanction CSA none payment of bills as criminal conduct.
Yes it is fair to say, the child’s best interest is of paramount consideration, but it is also equitable to say it is contrary to parentage itself. The relationship between parents and children is universal and should be intervened by the Government, but not in such away to cause more friction between parents as the statistics show, there are more unpaid maintenance bills for children to a greater degree. This is at no fault of its own, it is the government enforcing this authority and sanctions to this high level will cause more harm than looking at what none payments is all about. The court should look to sanctioning the parents for not coming to an arrangement between themselves than the sanctions the Child Support Agency can enforce. The CSA do not look at each case, they look at child maintenance objectively rather than subjectively making child maintenance assessments.
The truth be said a mother who finds it difficult to come to an arrangement with the father this is an issue. The government should concentrate on bringing the parents together and making an assessment for child maintenance themselves. All help should be given in these cases and then if no arrangements can be sought, the government should take the necessary steps, but no so fiercely towards the father. Both types of enforcement of actions should sanction both parents to come to an arrangement between themselves prior to intervention of the CSA. The similar principles should apply to the preliminary stages demanding the parents to come to an arrangement mediated if need be organised by the Government. No the Government gets on it’s high horse and decides to introduce the Child Support Agency re naming the organisation, imposing stricter measures and causing more friction between the parents. They do no reunite the parents to come to some arrangement to stick to that the absent parent can afford once assessed. It does not take intervention by the government, people are grown adults and will be able to come to an arrangement without intervention to a strict measure. It is as simple as that and it is common sense that only those who refuse to pay child maintenance should be looked at more closely on a case by case basis not being objective and steering more weight towards the mother.
TYPO “ERROR ON PARA”
The measures for none payment of CSA should not follow similar principles for criminal CONDUCT. This is going over board and over the top! As the rule states its not against the law to owe people or companies money and should follow civil proceedings and not criminal principles through the Courts. Absolutely absurd contrary to public policy and the CSA seem to try to make their own presumptions, they know they have this power and take advantage using fictitious amounts of child support maintenance assessments. They even go as far as saying I can take between 40-50% of your wages. Does this give a parent an incentive to work knowing they are going to struggle to meet ends meet living off limited means of subsistence. I think this does myself, it is totally improper, immoral and ethically as well as politically wrong to sanction CSA none payment of bills as criminal conduct.
hey jason feel for you im 27 and in this boat now myself due to one good mum and a bonded child and one bad mum who takes drugs and has drug dealers around the children no contact she messed with the wrong person csa me when i cant take what she is now im gonna social service her over and over…