The system criminalised me without evidence

January 29, 2015

My dealings with the CSA started 15 years ago as a young soldier who left the marital home because my partner was a abusive towards me.

I left two children in the care of my Ex with the intention of gaining custody.

My Ex made up aligations of abuse from myself and My name was tarnished an she was believed.

I was advised that my case of custody would not be heard.

Within four weeks my children of three and four years old were calling me by my first name and contact wis being withheld. I decided to apply for a contact order and more aligations of abuse and that my children did not know me as a father.

I went through a system that criminalised me and put distance between my children and I . I agreed arranged periods of contact watched and assessed when visiting my children. The initial contact was in a room with mirrored glass.

My children were made aware of this. Imagine what they were thinking and how any father would feel?

It was clear that my my children and I had a health and loving relationship and that they were be manipulated and lied to by my ex partner. This was the saddest thing to watch and live through I was helpless and angry. I could see the torment my children were going through and the more I pushed for long term overnight contact the more aligations and lies were expressed forced upon my children to believe.

At around the six month mark I dropped the contact order and agreed that the my ex should be given a residency order to try and put her mind at rest that I was not going to try for custody, but this was used against me in the coming moths in court. Eventually the CAFCAS people dealing with the case could see through the lies, sided with me and actually represented me in the case.

At this point I was paying CSA, court costs, travel fees, hotel fees and legal fees. I was asked to travel 250 miles for a four hour visit at weekends.

As a soldier there was not support system to deal with this situation, It got me into a large amount of debt not to mention the marital debt, which was all in my name. Contact was irregular and made difficult by an inflexible Ex, who knew the military system.

Court cases were cancelled and my Ex would not turn up to justify or explain the aligations.

I was left after 5 years with a doctors noet from my Ex’s solicitors that she suffers from anxiety and depression and cannot attend court until further notice.

The contact order could not be enforced and I ran out of money, and heart and steam. The CSA was relentless and made many with calculating what I had to pay. They took bonuses and operational pay into account from my pay statements and I over paid hundreds of pounds without any rebate.

I left the military because I was bankrupt and found that I was £400 a month better off living on on state benefits This wasn’t my way though and I travelled abroad for work. I spent a year getting my finances in order and rejoined the military.

When I rejoined I was not paid for for months by the Military by mistake and then I got a back log of money on my pay statements, this the CSA wrongly took into account as a monthly wage over calculated and put me into arrears.

I took several months of threatening letters and heated phone calls to sort it out.

I then spent the last several years pleading with the CSA to move me onto the new system as I was paying way more than newcomers onto the system, but excuses of backlogs were given and eventually I was told that my curcustances would have to change.

I eventually bought a house and my circumstances did change , but was never brought onto the new system despite constantly asking. it was only when I retired from the army and I was only living on my pension I was better off on the old system as my house mortgage of £900pm was taken into consideration when calculation my CSA payments.

What do you think happened when my Ex was advised that she would get more if I came onto the new system?

Yes you’ve guessed it , she then cancelled the CSA claim and exactly eleven weeks later made a knew claim on the new system of Child Maintainance. This now does not take into consideration my mortgage and has put me into negative equity every month.

I’m now being told that I have to pay a service fee because my Ex chooses not to let me pay her direct. Even though I’m a regular payer and the child maintenance team was too incompetent to get it set up when I requested it.

The conclusion is that these organisations are there to make money from the none residing parent and no matter what you say or do they will squeeze you for every penny. They will lie and manipulate the system and will not take into consideration your personal circumstances.

I set up a direct debit to pay the correct amount of Child Maint when I was against my will brought onto the new system. I have paid my child Maint regulary and on time for over 15 years and I flatly refuse to pay the admin fee , which has now amounted to over £480 . I would rather go to jail.

Can anyone help please?


  • Mags says:

    Go on to a site called child support agency ripoffs, the admin there will give u lots of good advice

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