The experience has caused me to develop anxiety and panic disorder

January 29, 2014

Hi,

Please help. I have a child from a one night stand with a girl called Kelly who has been diagnosed with Multiple Personality disorder and Mental Health Problems which are made worse by her alcohol use. I am not allowed to see the lad but she sought out my family and has now attempted to come between my family and myself and made a troublesome family history even worse.

Kelly, enjoys spreading trobule around for me which falls on deaf ears mainly when she approaches my friends. Anyway, I’m digressing, apologies, I’m just massively stressed out. I earn at maximum around £10,000 a year as I am self employed and can just about pay my rent and travel across the UK when I have jobs to attend or be interviewed for. I received a letter through the post explaining that I owe just over £4,000 and must pay £75 a week yet I have other letters sent a few weeks agi explaining I need to pay £10 a week and one minute they are nice and affable then the next threatening and menacing. I am finding this really difficult to cope with as the whole experience has caused me to develop anxiety and panic disorder.

Whenever I call them they are really difficult and extremely threatening and have called me from private numbers threatening me with prison. I called back one day and ended up snapping so they called the police on me who were actually massively understanding and could see the distress this is causing me. I feel like I am being made out to be a criminal and this is frightening. I have unfortunately in my past been imprisoned for violent crime and it has taken me since 2003 to find and settle into a good life with a good lady and now this is happening. Don’t get me wrong I have shared cells with intense prisoners and thought nothing of it but this is actually really stressful and fills me with dread. I have absolutely no idea what to do and really need some help and advice. What can I do? I’ve stopped communicating with them out of fear and stress and have also developed stress related seizures and fits which frightens my current girlfriend of five years, a girl who has supported me through what is a hugely difficult, stressful and distressing situation.

I get threatened off the CSA then threatened with violence from her and her boyfriend and all I want is a peaceful life. I cannot afford the money they want and am frightened they’ll get me banged up or something like they have threatened. I feel alone, isolated and feel like topping myself sometimes although luckily I’m a lot stronger than that mentally and can take a beating from life. These people WILL NOT listen or attempt in any way, shape or form to be reasonable and helpful, they just want to rinse me of my money and rinse me using menaces. Can anybodty give me a helpline number or an email or somewhere to go and get help? I am terrified and cannot sleep or think straight sometimes. I feel I am getting stronger in my ability to deal with this but this is hard and I cannot express my empathy enough to others in my situation. I hope that this story, in some way, helps others out there. I am not a bad person I just fell in with a frightening obsessive who has also turned up at my places of work causing merry hell and who then would try to get ME arrested which actually worked a few times until one day I had independent witnesses who came to my aid and helped me out. She was then told to deal with me through the CSA and by god has she. PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME.

Comments

  • Steve says:

    When did she contact CSA as they can only chase arrears to when they was contacted by your Ex , that is suppose to be there new rule so check this. Good job yoiur self employed if you was working for a company and not self employed they would have automatically deduct the amount out your wages weekly or monthly. CSA do not like self employed as they cannot get there greedy hands on your money so easy. Contact your MP also have a DNA test just to be sure you never know. Chin up fight them but do everything by writing either emailing, recorded post or faxing and keep all proof. Look on alkl the comments on here and google as much as you can knowledge is power.

  • CSA warrior says:

    Theres a lot in this and my time is short

    1) firstly noone is allowed to threaten violence. So to this end I would start by getting an injunction against the boyfriend. what u are suffering is domestic violence so you can google that and find a site that can help.
    2) Of course you are allowed to see the child. the violence and the mental health issues actually help you in court. in court you apply for a contact order. if she defies this she will not do herself any favours. go to your local county court NOT THE MAGISTRATES. they will have a family section. Your previous will probably be well spent but the fact that it was way back in 2003 may negate any bad effects against you. yoour good lady could testify re your character.
    3) the CSA are never nice to dads. thats a fact they sound nice because they want something. once they have they resort back to type. How ever you need to get a copy of your file and go through it to check any errors. then put in a complaint. you can get your file from the Data protection unit of the CSA it costs ten quid and is well worth the money.

    Really your best bet would be to get custody. To me she isnt just a nut but a dangerous nut. But in the long run if she doesnt have the kid as a weapon she may just fuck off of her own accord or in the least she would have to play ball or you decide whether it is appropriate for her to continue the contact given her behavior.

    its a big step but i think its better than the current status quo.

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