The CSA has left me sick to my stomach with how they have treated us

March 4, 2013

To be honest where do I start, my husband had arranged payments access etc with his ex so that he could have his son and daughter on a regular basis. Everything was agreed upon but unbeknown to him she left Scotland a couple of days later and went to Wales (done a moonlight flit) he never found out till a week or so later. In all of this time he wasnt allowed contact with his kids although she sent them up to Scotland on regular holidays again unknown to him. When he asked her family members where she was they refused to tell him as she was with her boyfriend that fathered her 3rd child.

The CSA got in touch demanded over a £100 a week from him on a £220 wage we had just not long had a son of our own had full rent to pay etc (this is going back over 10 years). He stopped paying because we just didn’t have the money and as he saw it “If I cant see my kids im not paying” !!!!!! He did have a point we took legal advice etc.

Now they leave us with a protected wage of £220 a week His kids are now 22 and 24 respectively. We thought that we had sorted this out nearly 2 years ago when we started paying by dd but no they did a deductions from earnings order in all of this they have lied through their back teeth and im sick to my stomach at how they have treated us trying to make ends meat paying full rent and council tax we dont get any help what so ever. He was made a non resident parent not through choice so why should we have to pay ??????


  • Smithy says:

    No Access == No Pay unless there are proven as in criminally convicted issues with domestic violence not just the mother making up a bunch of lies which I’m sure there isn’t in this case and is the minority.

  • Sally says:

    @ Smithy… I think that is fair, and I also think it’s fair that the parent who decides to move is the parent who should be financially accountable i.e. if the PWC decides to move away then the additional money it will cost the NRP to see his/her children is deducted from child maintenance!!

    lying PWC’s can say and do what they want and are NEVER held accountable…

    I’d just like to point out that I DO NOT think all PWCs are liars or cheats, there are many who are genuinely destitute… unfortunately the CSA seem unable to help them either…..

  • mel says:

    @Smithy, is this a fact? no access = no pay?? or just what you think should be the case?
    If it’s fact, it’s totally fair and right!
    My partner has been (and still is) the subject of parental alienation by his viscious ex who happens to be the pwc. To the point the kids have been brainwashed and told him they dont want daddy in their lives anymore (aged 9 and 7 at the time in 2010). Still to this day no contact, the kids don’t want to see him.
    Parental alienation IS child abuse, emotional child abuse, all done by the pwc aka the mum.
    Yet she still continues to cause sh#t by telling the csa he’s working when he isn’t etc etc..and they take money direct from our ESA we get as a couple, I am disabled, he is my carer.

  • lisa says:

    I totally agree PWC are never held accountable for the shit that happens at the CSA, but on another note the csa are a law unto themselves and honestly make it up as they go along, they dont care whose life they are wrecking, all they are bothered about is making sure that the PWC can afford foreign holidays and you lose your home, simples

  • Smithy says:

    @mel no it’s not currently it’s just my opinion. @Sally agreed it’s a small minority that there’s an issue with. @lisa I realise this will sound harsh but I think there should be a system of differed prison sentences for PWC who block access so they obviously can’t do time while their child is below 18 but after that they should have to do their time. it’s one rule for NRP who *must* at threat of prison obey court orders quite rightly and it’s another for PWC who can as you say just do what they like. Unless things change we are going to have big problem in this society as there’s a lot of really pissed off men out there and the numbers only growing.

  • lisa says:

    @ smithy thats not harsh its right, to many women get away with doing exactly as they please and stuff there kids feelings, its simple No access should mean no money, maybe this way the woman wouldt chase as hard knowing she was only doing it for cash and maybe more kids would get to spend time with there much wanted and loved kids, @ mel she is totally right parental alienation is child abuse and this should be made law that if the chap has parental responsibility the mother should not be stopping him seeing his kids

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