The CSA are really abusive on the phone

July 20, 2012

My wonderful step daughter is now 24 years old and has lived with my husband and me for the last 12- 13 years we would not be without her. Before that she stayed between 80-90% of her time with us but we didnt make it offical, until she was old enough to clearly say what she wanted and could stand up for herself.

My husband divorced his ex wife when she was 3 and had limited access restricted to every Tuesday for a couple of hours and every other Sunday for about 3 years until i met my husband around her 6th birthday when we started to increase the amount of time we could have her. My husband made the massive error of sometimes paying his ex cash and sometimes paying by cheque and not keeping reciepts. His ex was then living with a new partner and had another child she lived in a council house and was claiming benefits at the time.

The ex was threatened with having her benefits stopped if she did not give over the detail of her first childs father. I am unsure what additional benefits she got due to giving the name? She did not disclose her current partner living at the address who was working full time.

My Step daughter was fairly poorly treated by her biological mother, which is why we always took her as much as we could as she suffered from neglect and emotional abuse at the hands of her biological mum. My husband has paid on and off through the child support agency over the years as he has been in and out of work, but we have paid well into the thousands over the years to the CSA and his Ex has never seen this money and his child has never seen this money as she has lived with us most of her life, so who gets it and why? however up until about 2 weeks ago we had had no contact for over 3 years from the CSA and they are now telling my husband that he still needs to pay them up to 900 pounds.

Although his ex was working part time when we gained full time resedency for his daughter we never put a claim in for child maintenence and we and her never recieved anything for her upkeep, she was lucky if she got a christmas and birthday present from her biological mum.

My husband has never been absent and has had to pay for everything from her Brownie uniform general clothes to her Law degree not to mention 2 cars and everything else that a child requires to grow up to be sucessful and independent ( although we are not there yet she still lives with us).

The CSA are really abusive on the phone they only see my husband as the Man Who Left and abandoned his child and although my husband can only pay them 40 pounds a month they are saying they are going to take legal action.

My Step daughter is nearly qualified as a solicitor but it is not fair to involve her in this situation i don’t want her to feel that we blame her.

How do we deal with the abuse we are getting from the CSA and handle the messages left on his voicemail and the home phone, the last time he spoke to them it got a little heated as they refused to speak to me the “new Wife” although they can take my wages into account and my husband had to repeat all my questions which they were unable to answer and just kept telling us to pay 10 pounds for our file if we wanted to know details of their investigation.

Can they take us to court if we have already set up a direct debit and have offered to pay them 40 pounds a month.

I don’t even think that his ex recieved 10% of the money we have paid to the CSA and the “Abandoned Child” has never benefitted from one single penny, if anything it left us with less to spend on her not that she ever went without anything she needed.


  • jay. says:

    My advice is, write a letter of complaint to the csa and go see your mp asap, if you had your step daughter with you, did you claim the child benefit because legally you were entitled to it as you had her more than 50% of the time, so in effect the mother owes you!

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