The children should come before the bitter ex wife
Where do I start?!!
My husband has 2 girls aged 17 & 19 by his ex. When they first split up she stopped all contact and told him he wasn’t allowed to see his children. His mother was told she could have access but was not allowed to let their father near them unless he handed over money.
For 4 years he didn’t have access….he tried and tried but she threatened to move away. They’ve had 5 different step dads over the years too! When they were 6&7 they lived with us for 4 years even though she still claimed benefits. We fed them, clothed them, took them on trips…the lot.
We went on and had 3 children and out of the blue we ad a letter from the csa saying we owed 3,000. We informed them of our situation and that they lived with us for 4 yrs and always had them 4 days a week but it didn’t matter!
If the mother didn’t like anything then she’d cut contact, stop us seeing them Christmas time, birthdays, Father’s Day and so on. The shit those girls have been through because of her is shocking.
We had a letter saying the amount owing was now £17,500 and was going to court for a liability order on my husbands house. It will be sold to pay the csa! My husband is self employed so work died out 12 months ago. He’s trying his best to build it up and I mean he’s trying. We refuse to claim benefits so are struggling to live on £140 a week with 3 children yet they don’t care.
The house they want to sell is the children’s inheritance and their forcing it to sale. It’s a disgrace and causing so much harm to all of us.
This vile woman has wrecked the children’s relationship with their father by feeding them lies and bullshit. She also has a child with someone else and that’s wrecked too!!
They should not be allowed to get away with it. Children come first not the angry bitter ex wife!!
14 thoughts on “The children should come before the bitter ex wife”
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Why all these story’s and nothing is done to help I am going through the same shit, I phoned the papers and they said they were not allowed to report on CSA and the other said it wasn’t important enough,
I have copied some of these stories and taken them to my MP so here’s hoping,
Only one thing to say, The system is Shite and yep nobody in authority seems to care what happens as long as the mother is ok then everybody else can go to FUCK!
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It is frightening how much power the CSA have over NRP’s. My husband & I have been together10 years .WE started having the children to stay every weekend since we started to live with each other. We have paid Maintenance to the pwc but she denies it! We have proof of every payment yet the CSA believe her.As we didn’t know we were dealing with CSA -we were paying pwc direct for many years,we didn’t know to claim a reduction for the children that lived with us.There was a ‘live’ case open apparently from when she was on Income Support but we didn’t hear frm them for about 8 years & paid pwc all this time.!! Shouldn’t we have had a letter in all this time or a yearly statement & surely the pwc would have mentioned it until year before last! Then the CSA took 14 months to tell us she had asked them to chase it up so we carried on paying her for that extra 14 that wont count either!!When we complained they gave us £50 consolatory payment but it left us open to paying 14 months of CM that they wont count ..you couldn’t make it up could you!! We are caring parents/step parents who were there for the my husbands children until couple of years ago when all this started .The pwc has alienated the children(theyre 17 & 19 – the 2 older boys have left the system)now & have taken the side of the mother swayed by the promise of money no doubt!) We have been there for the children (one of the boys even lived with us for 2 years-but as she claimed the Ch/ben for him that wont even count!)We tried to ask him to say that to the relevant authorities but he says he doesn’t want to get involved!! Where’s the son’s loyalty to us ? I am sick of the way the CSA talks to the NRP as if they are used to all the excuses coming from absent nrp’s & lump you in the same categogy!!They don’t listen to anything you say & are disrespectful & abrupt!! Please wake up CSA & see that some good NRP’s are getting a really ROUGH DEAL from you !! All we want is fairness & a chance to have what we paid honoured.My husband & my self have suffered over this injustice & our son ,age 6 ,is bereft wondering why his siblings have abandoned him via their mother& ignore him in the street !They live 100 yds from us !! Psychologists say It takes 10 years for a blended family to bond completely- CSA, by believing pwc ,you have torn a caring blended family apart !!
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no wonder families leave the country or commit suicide. o and incidently therei is not one case i can find where they criminalise the mothers for abandoning their kids no csa collections tagging taking their home attachment of earnings etc and i have scoured the forums websites etc why are dads being persecuted this has to be a discrimination isuuse surely?????
Totally agree, I am going to copy all of CSA HELL letters and and them all to the news papers and government , also My SNP MSP Mike Mackenzie is helping me so will see if I get any luck
I would love to be kept informed of the outcome of this as I’m contemplating approaching someone with a bit of cahonas and challenge the csa’s discrimination against NRP’s
It really is sick!! My husbands 2 daughters bad mouth him down to the ground. It’s vile to be honest. They take everything the ex says and wont give him a chance. It gets me angry when there’s fathers out there who love their children and are not allowed access. Who gives the mother the right to dictate what happens?
And then there’s Facebook!! They slander him on there too when we live in a small town….that really annoys me as we always had them and bought them everything but it counts for nothing unless it’s paid direct to the csa.
I really do feel for all the fathers out there, I’m a mother of three and wouldn’t dream of doing this to any father! If he wants to provide then he WILL!!!
If he doesn’t then hold ur heads up high and do the best u can with out him!
Being bitter and using the children to get back at ur ex partner is vile and awful.
We’ve spent thousands on them but we might as well have thrown it down the drain as it counts for nothing and its a real shame that relationships are ruined between parents and their children.
Something needs to be done to stop this mess CSA are creating, it’s not helping anyone!
Alasdair, good luck with the action your going to take.
Amanda, don’t contemplate just do it.
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Unfortunatly until the law changes, the CSA will always favour the greedy bitches, the staff get bonuses from every payment secured, there is no shame either, mums knowing there ex is being financially raped every month and knowing he cant afford to see his kids is her fault, they have no morals, they should be ashamed,
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