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CSA Advice

The Best Way For An Employed NRP To Deal With CSA Involvement

8 March 2012 by Excityboy

  1. Accept that they are involved and there is nothing you can do about it.
  2. Accept that if your ex has involved them, she or he isn’t happy with the child support you’re providing or they wouldn’t be involved in the first place.
  3. Accept that their involvement will definitely cause disputes that will definitely be heard by your child/children. (Any PWC who denies this is a bare faced liar)
  4. Accept, as the NRP, that your relationship with your child/children is never going to be the same again.
  5. Realise that from now on your children are being used as weapons against you because for whatever reason, you couldn’t reach an agreement with your ex about what was affordable and fair.
  6. Respond immediately to the CSA’s contact and give them the information they require on the forms they send you. Do not withhold anything because your ex will have told them everything anyway and they will believe them over you.
  7. When your assessment arrives, check it to make sure it’s correct based on the information you gave.
  8. If it is correct and it will be if you haven’t messed them about, don’t try to appeal to the CSA about your expenditure and current circumstances. You will be wasting your breath and only antagonise them.
  9. Pay weekly by standing order, not direct debit, set up to end on the child’s 19th birthday (This is the only control you will ever have).
  10. By the child’s 16th birthday you can ask the CSA to do regular Child Benefit checks if you wish. This check will tell them if the child is in further education or not. If they aren’t then your case will be closed and payments can stop. (Keep in mind that a child can go back into further education and the claim could start again anywhere up to the age of 19)
  11. Keep the CSA informed of changes, Address, income etc. (Lower income = Lower payment and visa-versa)
  12. Knuckle down and always pay or it will definitely bite you later on.
  13. Don’t tell anyone anything good about your life as your ex will always find out, mentally convert it into why you should be paying more and have the CSA investigate causing you even more grief.
  14. If you are emotionally strong enough, sever all further contact with your ex and children because what you are about to endure will never be appreciated and the children will be used as weapons even more if you don’t.
  15. Move on and don’t look back.
  16. If your child/children re-establish contact when they are adults then you may get an opportunity to set things right.
  17. If they don’t then that’s ok too because you will have kept your sanity and hopefully the life every hard working person who has paid their way deserves.

YOU CANNOT FIGHT A VINDICTIVE EX BACKED UP BY THE CSA SO DON’T EVEN TRY!

45 thoughts on “The Best Way For An Employed NRP To Deal With CSA Involvement”

  1. Truth is I agree with this post to an extent if you have a vindictive ex, but please don’t tie all pwcs the same, some out there who want best for their kids, but reading most posts are very few and between.

  2. Im sorry to have read this, its a shame it became like this for you, but shows that if you are employed you have a harder time than anyone self employed who dont want to support their children and can play the system, v.sad.

  3. 18. DO NOT deal with the CSA over the phone whatsoever, only by post.
    19.Keep all CSA letters and copies of your replies in date order until your child is 21 at least.

  5. 14.

    What the hell kind of parent severe ties with their child. If you’ve done this to your children you are one crap father. It’s much more beneficial to fight to see and stay in as much contact with your child. If contact is being denied petition the courts.

    Great advice legal wise on http://WWW.dadtalk.co.uk under legal eagle. Fab posters there with first hand knowledge and a few who know tricks of the trade in court.

    So 14 should be left out… What kind of person could give up on their children?

  6. To Bob
    The kinda person Bob who is being raped for so much money by the mother and csa that he cannot afford to see his kid and do anything,spent quality time.DONT tell me that an 8 yr old child is happy to just sit in front of a telly or go for walks in the park with his or her dad they they rarely see and to be happy,cause it ain’t gonna happen thus putting an even bigger strain on your wallet to entertain them.AND in my case,my ex would expect me to collect on a fri from Wiltshire and return to bucks and then back again on the sun and with no help with fuel,do that twice a month and one can see how even poorer a NRP would become.i am one such NRP who is screwd by the csa for £320 a month for 1 child. I could not afford to see my child even if her bitch of a mother would allow me to .And DON’T Bob tell me either that I could fight for rights to see her in court because like most of us know here ,even if a court ruled in a fathers favour ? The mother would break it and the courts would do nothing,therefore making it pointless,and what about the cost…how does one pay for that when they cant afford to see their kid let alone face thousands of pounds court cost.
    THATS why Bill some NRP’s sever all ties with the kids…..until perhaps that child is older and can make up its own mind

  7. It is totally and utterly disgusting that these vermin can treat people like this….I for one would 100% be happy to contribute some kind of payment together with others and build a case to fight these bastards in a court fighting for our human rights and right to a quality of life where we could at least live and not have these f**ks raping good honest hardworking NRP’s of insane amounts of money each month and using such mental cruelty to obtain it…..it’s a fucking joke that this scum is supposed to look after the welfare of the child? Total bollocks,they only look after the welfare of the treasury……cunts all of them…let’s get our act together and fight this bottom dwelling pond life

  8. Thank you all for your comments.
    To be honest I didn’t expect my post to be published because of the hard truths.

    To Jay…..I don’t tar all PWC’s with the same brush, but unfortunately it’s the majority who use the CSA against fathers who are already willing to pay.

    To Terry………Thanks for coming to my defence on “14” , bob doesn’t know me and I expected bad feedback from that section any way. I stand by 14 for the same reasons as you.

    To KMcQ80…….. You’re dead right, I forgot about 18 and 19 lol

    To bob………….. Anyone who thinks dragging an already vindictive ex into court will help their children is an Idiot. She’s the one who goes home to them after the hearing, Ref Section “3”

    Regards

  9. Quote excityboy; I don’t tar all PWC’s with the same brush, but unfortunately it’s the majority who use the CSA against fathers who are already willing to pay.

    Is that comment an unfounded generalisation or a fact ?

    chall ~ afairercsaforall

  10. To chall.

    Like I said, I find it to be the “majority” just like jay finds few and between.

    Regards

  11. to terry norris.

    ive done it and it cost me £0 yes nothing to go to court. i repreaented myself from a vindictive ex. you dont have to spend thopusands. i dont qualify for legal aid but you go for remission of fees.

    also you blabber on about not being able to afford anything because of the csa. time with a xhild costs little to nothing. i spend arpund £6 per week going swimming with my child or £4 over winter for ball parks.

    if you go the pub or smoke, buy two less pints or smoke two less packs of ciggies and walla… free quality time. go the park, go on walks kids love it or havent you been involvwd witg your child to know thatk?

  12. bob.
    Every NRP’s circumstances are different what one can afford another cannot.

    Also work commitments which pays for the support in the first place may not allow someone to regularly cross 2 counties for quick visits to the park.

    Assuming that someone else’s financial / personal circumstances are as easy as yours is a mistake.

  13. Additional To chall
    I have read many of your factual posts on here and the ones I have read bare little or no compassion for the suffering of posters that use this website. Your advice is text-book but unusable in the real world as I am sure that the intelligent individuals who visit this Forum have already explored the obvious, that is why they are here. Your condescending manor of “Quoting” people is offensive and argumentative at best and I think it would be a little more helpful if you tried to empathise.
    You don’t work for the CMEC do you? because you sure talk to people as if you do.

  15. bob
    I am a single person with a decent job, no debt and work 6 days a week.
    Salary £2116
    Mortgage £800 / 2 bed house nothing special.
    Food/Essentials £300
    Gas Elec £70
    Water £40
    Phone and Internet £40
    Fuel £160 70% to and from work
    Car Insurance £45
    Home Insurance £30
    Council Tax £120
    Save £50……….Emergencys
    CSA £320
    Left Over £141 (£4.64 per day) to have a little life (That’s a Laugh), maintain the car and clothe myself.
    Had that for the last 9 years with 6 months to go,,,,,,YAY
    My original advice worked for me and will for others if they are strong enough. I have found Principals and conflicts with ex’s who deny access and true support very costly, not just financially.
    Kids grow up……………..so who knows …….they may come knocking one day.

  16. excityboy,

    jay clearly pointed out their assumption was based on reading ‘most posts on here’.
    You make no such reference when stating you ‘find it to be the majority’. The question I consider, was simple enough. Amusingly you chose to muddy the water’s with the rest of the drivel.

    Additionally…
    No, I do not work for CMEC, but rest assured your not the first to make such a comment.
    Yes, I do quote other’s when asking them to clarify certain statements they have made, especially when such are incorrect OR/AND misleading.
    No, I tend remain impartial when I respond to other’s. My empathy or sympathy will not resolve anybodies situation or make it any different. Accurate information and advise based on the Legislation has proven more effective.

    Frankly, your opinion is of little interest to me.
    After reading your comments, I’m sure it makes it easy for myself and other’s to draw our own conclusions about you.

    chall ~ afairercsaforall

  17. here here chall. someone who has qrq a month and doesnt want to spend any on their childs time with them. i think youve just hit nail on head. over w2k in salary. i earn less than half of ypu i have apparently toalling it up u7t5 left. i spend q1q1 today taking my child plus partners kids to ballpark. tomorrpw fpr the family swim i will pay abput the same. next week its my partners turn. so i spend arpund 20-e30 a month on activities plus around once a month i get pay around 20 for a meal.

    i am guessing you are one of these guys who says i fulfill my duties because i pay £300 a month in csa. if you can afford 75 + 140 a month for free time plus savings you can damn well afford the £200 to raise a contact order.

    i for one couldnt look my child in the eye and say i tried everuthing i cpuld.

    frankly you havent. you may meet your duties finance wise but emotionally you do not

    if you expect your child to come back i would suggest you read some books

  18. todays activities:

    ball park £10.75 time in garden planting seeds (saved from last year so free) £0. dig for worms and bugs… free. making a home cinema with chairs and bed sheet over the top plus curtains closed… free… pack of popcorn £1.99… all its costing today is fuel and time.

    just sitting having a coffee bn up since 630. nothing but time and a bit of small change. take note

  19. The Best Way For An Employed NRP To Deal With CSA Involvement

    1) If possible, pack your job up or reduce your income.
    2) Do not pander to the CSA at all.
    3) Complain about every mistake the CSA make
    4) Decide how you will deal with the PWC as they use the childrens as a ‘bargaining tool’. I severed contact, as court contact orders where broken and the children were contantly being upset by the PWC’s behaviour. I later re-established contact when they were adults, and they understood what I did, and why i did it!
    5) Challenge everything the CSA do and say!
    6) Tell them repeatedly that they are a shambles and should be shut down!
    7) Ask them why others aren’t paying, whilst you are. Also, what are they doing about the ones who don’t pay!
    8) Ask them why you are being repeatedly targeted.

    I agree with, don’t speak to them on the phone and get everything in writing.

    chall ~ afairercsaforall

    “No, I tend remain impartial when I respond to other’s. My empathy or sympathy will not resolve anybodies situation or make it any different. Accurate information and advise based on the Legislation has proven more effective”.

    Flawed legislation that is discriminatory and breaches Human Rights!

    “Frankly, your opinion is of little interest to me”.

    As is your opinion to some of us!

  20. Clarify who is the author of the above list, John?

    You are amusing. Considering you repeatedly misrepresent and bemoan the new ‘write off’ powers, but constantly omit to share any comprehensible reason and spread gossip to get people whizzed up about the CSA being a run for profit business, but fail to share any proof, I do wonder what your motives are….

    chall ~ afairercsaforall

  21. bob,

    Hope you and yours have a lovely day together.

    The simple things in life mean the most. I’m sure your children will have some lovely memories 🙂

    chall

  22. Indeed chall. Been to see fishes at an outdoor pond. Been on a bike ride and just sorting home cinema and tea in the next 10mins.

    All children need is time. If court orders are broken fight them to have them re-instated its all about knowing a simple process

  23. John,

    Re; post by John on March 11th, 2012 10:52

    Smart move putting my name at the end of the list John eh, makes it look as if I’m the author, how very immature and ‘misleading of you’!

    Your list however, is a combination of all YOUR own comments.

    3) Complain ~ John on October 27th, 2011 10:40 am
    http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:_y9moD8FTLQJ:www.csahell.com/csa-lies-and-in-my-opinion-theft-7005.html+site:csahell.com+John+Complain&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=uk

  24. Thank You all for your comments on my advice.

    Yes I have fulfilled my financial obligations but would have preferred to do more. In the beginning for the first year after my divorce I was paying by consent order Mortgage and maintenance, £600 in total. At the time my salary was £1390 so I had no choice but to live back with my parents. During this time I made every effort to stay in touch with my son and was more than willing to comply with the order in the knowledge that he was provided for. Many disagreements Occurred with my ex about access and it was obvious to me that he was being poisoned against my whole family (No Court In The Land Can Stop That). The situation was causing him major distress, so I gave up.

    After 2 years my ex wanted to sell the house and I agreed because the payments were killing me and the extra money gave me a small fighting chance of being independent of my parents home. The house sold reasonably quickly we split a little equity and that was that so I thought.

    I was then contacted by my ex who said she wasn’t happy with the Consent order level of financial assistance which was £265 and that she was now going to use the CSA. Apparently she had been talking to a friend who said I should be paying more. This friend must have been screwing her ex on OLD RULES because 40% was mentioned. I let her get on with it as past experience had taught me that arguing would be pointless and I gave the CSA everything they needed. Thankfully the New Rules applied and her attempt to shaft me was spoiled.

    Like I said in the beginning, you cannot fight a VINDICTIVE EX AND THE CSA.

    JUST GET ON AND PAY

  31. Last Post.

    I think it’s chall and John who need to read some books and seek therapy at the same time.

    Who cares about Opinions, the fact is, no one can advise on a flawed failing system with such complex and differing policies, never mind the social issues as well.

    Even changes made at a legislative level are only one side of the coin. The attitude of both Parents has to be the same too. If that isn’t the case then all you can do is make your way through life as best you can, Pay Your Way and survive.

  32. Do you want to be heard?

    Tell us your story of how the CSA has treated you. We might be able to help, and could publish your tale on the website to make sure everyone knows about the problems you’ve had.

    CSA Hell. Look at the topics. Look at the headlines!

    What happens between parents and their children is a personal matter for them to sort out. It has nothing to do with an Quango/Agency!

    As a responsible parent who has raised a child (now adult) on my own, for 14 years, and experienced the CSA for 12 years, I think that I am qualifed to give my opinion!

  33. hi excityboy thanks for now sounding more reasonable.

    have you ever thought about reopening contactk? how far away does your ex livek?

  34. excityboy,

    ‘I think it’s chall and John who need to read some books and seek therapy at the same time.’ ~ and another cheap shot from you excityboy, crikey your on a roll…!

    However, I do agree with some of your comments.
    Not ALL parents do share the same thinking, or issues. Sadly, the flawed system which legislation provides for, coupled with mistakes on cases by agency staff, can and do result in those involved being failed.
    The fact is, advice based on legislation has proven invaluable to many parents, who have managed to get corrections made on their case as a result. Unlike sweeping or unfounded generalisations, which serve no real purpose.

    John,

    Please refrain from adding my name to your posts, especially when you are not quoting me. I’m sure neither of us would want other’s to confuse your views as being mine.

    chall ~ afairercsaforall

  36. nothing will change if you give up which is what u are doing these csa wankers are not ur masters you have rights and u choose to not fight them well done then they will rape u and 1000 of family after you wake up twat you can beat them at there own game i am it just takes time

  37. John,

    There is NO confusion between me quoting somebody else OR making my own statements. Unlike your abysmal effort, as above.

    Quote Martin; you can beat them at there own game i am it just takes time

    Does that prevent somebody having money deducted directly from wages and/or bank accounts, their driving licence removed, somebody being imprisoned OR their house being sold?

    chall ~ afairercsaforall

  38. I thought the CSA was in a shambles but from the CSA perspective as they read the comments on this website. They must be laughing at the in-fighting that goes on amongst all of us who suffer.

    Come on people let’s try get a combined legal challenge to this terrible mess and put all our energy into something more worthwhile.

    Anyone in PR, Marketing, Law? pls email me.

  39. Why don’t you just roll over and die, there are ways to deal with the CSA and still maintain your sanity, but if we take your advice, then you might as well die, show some baclbone

  40. I do experience a bit of the same problem with my ex, she does not let me have the boy over weekend even to see heim. but I have buying clothes and most of the time I have to put them through the letter box…

    during Xmas I have to give him his presents on the street and my brother bought him a present did the same.
    She never look after the child well and I always forced to be there, never allowed one inch of my presence.

    Yesterday was his BD, I ordred a cake from condy Konditor and cook £69.50 for his class mates and him (29 kids).

    and you can believe someone just because she claimed no receiving anything but when she refused my assistance and what about me?

  42. Excityboy FYI manor & manner are two different words, lol it’s no good knowing all the other condescending, & what you thimk are clever words, if you do not know how to spell correctly. It takes away all credibility as far as I’m concerned, but the content of your posts do that amyway 😀

  43. Yes amyway! Lol because I do not wish to gain any credibility, unlike a lot of people who have commented,I’m not interested in trying look good LOL Every NR “father” which it mostly is! (The father) needs to have a look at themselves & ADMIT YOU ARE FAILING YOUR CHILDREN! The money is neither here nor there & as far as I’m concerned the amount calculated by the csa (15% for 1st child) IS FAIR… GET OVER IT & PAY THIS SMALL PERCENTAGE TOWARD UR CHILD FOR THE SHORT TIME THEY ACTUALLY ARE CHILDREN! It’s a legal right your child has to 15% of your earnings… Are you REALLY saying it’s right to deny your child their legal rights aswell as WALK AWAY FROM THEM? It’s a law for a reason deal with it pay it & hopefully bring your children up! Or at least help to. PEACE&LOVE

  44. & yes I can spell! If typing on a phone makes mistakes MY BAD! Lol but using a completely different word because it sounds the same is NOT a typing error LOL

  45. SeeRightThruYou.

    Thanks for the lesson in spelling but where did I say don’t pay, or deny a child anything?

    Just a thought. Maybe if you’d taken the time to read the posts but I guess that isn’t a skill you posses. lol. pmsl. and all that other chavy texting bollocks.

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