Surely there is another way?
Hi
My daughters Dad has not paid any proper maintance for 6 years. He has paid odd £10/£20 here and there when I have had to beg/argue with him for it. He has tried every trick in the book from working cash in hand (whilst singing on) moving abroad for 6months to work and not telling me or his daughter, trying to say she is not his, I have agreed to dna, no doubt and he knows it! He has been in a proper job for the last few months by this I mean paying tax but as soon as csa get onto him, after I have chased it up by telling them he is working company name etc he has ‘been laid off’ and they can never recover any money he now has £8000 worth of arrears!! I work part time on weekends when I have babysitters, grandparents who are not at work, but do find it difficult to buy uniform school shoes etc sometimes having to save/borrow for it. I have tried to be reasonable and we came to a private agreement of £200 I know this is alot but he earns alot working away in London and is nothing compared to what csa say he should pay on working off his last few wage slips, I told him I’m not interesed in the arrears, I just need a FAIR set amount that is AFFORDABLE TO HIM and on a set date so I can budget as he keeps promising me this £200 but it never comes, or not in full or not on time witch leaves me in a bad situation with paying for school lunches direct debits ect that are essential for our daughter! He calls me worse than s*it and I am aware of dad’s rights and them getting a bad rep, reading some of these touching stories has be in complete shock that dad’s are getting so badly treated by csa….surely there is another way??
Please help 🙂
17 thoughts on “Surely there is another way?”
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Get a job
If you read it, she does work!
BOTH Parent should support their Children ….Dead Beat Dads who dont support their Children and CHOOSE to have limited or no contact are the reason why Good Dads like me have no rights :-/
The Mother also has another job its called being a Parent 😉
I work and a good dad but being denied cause of a skank and the shite system
It seems clear to me that your ex is completely selfish and doesn’t want to provide for his daughter. What can you do? The only thing you can is to do what your doing and struggle on. Youre daughter will reach an age where she will become aware of youre struggle and start questioning her fathers attitude towards fatherhood. I doubt whether your ex is gonna accept csa taking 40% of his wages to pay arrears. He’s got a life time of running ahead. The worst thing you could have done is go to csa because if he ever takes his responsibilities seriously csa will bleed him dry! He may well then think what the point and go back to cash in hand or even go abroad again. Csa will never let the arrears go! Thats the scums bonuses
Unfortunately the system screws over the good fathers like my partner and yet the sperm doners of the Earth who create life left, right & centre and dont want to work are protected. Its a joke. He has £10 a fortnight taken out of his giro for my three sons. These scumbags should be made to pay a fair amount and sent to work
Yet another dick head comment from another dick head who probably doesn’t pay for his kids. She has got a job, she says so in her post or can u not read? Keep fighting the CSA to chase him, insist it goes to enforcement, keep complaining and make sure ur daughter gets the financial support she needs. Just cos the sperm donor doesn’t care, doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be responsible for his daughter
@ on.. Or should at be ho?? As you correctly said .. ‘Sperm donor’… You have the cheek to ask Duncan smith if he can read … Can you?? Women USE MEN to make babies by lying to them so don’t dare come on here and make comments like that.. Maybe he didn’t want a child, maybe she lied to him… If YOU READ the hundreds of posts on here from INNOCENT, DECENT MEN telling the truth then you wouldn’t make such a stupid comment….
Te OP is looking for advice….
@sally ……..love how you make assumptions that its all the females fault all the time. What if they were in a long term loving relationship? What if they both planned to have a baby together? What if the father left and chose not to have contact with his child? O by the way, keyboard warriors like u have no effect on me what so ever. THAT child deserves shoes on her feet and food in her belly so why should the child have to suffer for ur entertainment??
@ On… lets just be clear…. I do not think all females are at fault, I think their are plenty of decent mothers out there who want the best for their child but have chosen the wrong man to do it with and as a result are left destitute and struggling… but it’s not those women the CSA help!!! Its the greedy vindictive ones like ‘Karen Bedford’ who alienated her children from their father and took him to the cleaners all because he found happiness with someone else…. not a second thought for the children…
we both make assumptions but the one FACT that you or any normal human being cannot deny is that the CSA is unfair and bias towards the PWC…
PWC can say what they like and the CSA believe them and as a result DECENT, HARDWORKING NRP’s are victimised….
If both parents agree to having a child then both parents should contribute EQUALLY… the PWC is subsidised by the government for WTC, CTC, CB AND child maintenance… the NRP gets absolutely NO help!!! they too have to put shoes on their children’s feet, clothe them and feed them but a lot of them cannot afford to because of the amount the CSA dictate!!!
I sincerely don’t blame NRPs for making a stance against their ex’s or the CSA because the whole system is not driven by the needs of the child, it’s driven by MONEY!!!! And PWC think they have the god given right to spend it on themselves because it’s ‘their’ money…. open your eyes to reality!!!
The grim reality is the CSA won’t help ensure the £200 pm is paid and havedone with it, they’ll insist on a monthly figure so inflated that it’s impossible to pay, creating thousands of pounds of arrears and would rather the NRP ended up in prison than actually pay.
In cases like this they should allow the PWC and NRP to set the monthly amount they are happy with and just enforce that.
They take everything too far and no-one benefits.
How anyone can take this site seriously with the pathetic comments from some, I dont know!
Maybe stopping feeling sorry for yourself and stop judging everyone and calling names and concentrating on your children might help!
Anyway back to what Bec asked, he is playing the system and HE is the reason why the children suffer and others who overpay as they are paying for the likes of him and if they had the intelligence to see that, the nonsense name calling might stop.
Im not sure where you can go with this, and wish I could give you good advice, I wish you luck.
@ Karen “he is playing the system and HE is the reason why the children suffer and others who overpay as they are paying for the likes of him and if they had the intelligence to see that, the nonsense name calling might stop.”
You’ve said this before and I’ve asked for an explanation but you never provide one. Why on earth do you think one person not paying means another pays more? Payments are based on the CSA’s ridiculous calculation based on earnings only. This isn’t insurance, your premiums don;t go up when some people decide to fight the criminal system and not pay!
There is another way.
Since its’ inception the CSA has been, and still is a disaster. Criminalising parents regarding THEIR own children and interfering in private family lives.
Important matters involving children belong in the courts with professional accredited lawyers, and not in the hands of grade 1 office clerks.
If no agreement can be reached between the parents, and/or maintenance is not forthcoming because of avoidance, and if contact is being prevented, then one or both parties deserve to feel the wrath of the law!
@ on..whos this gobby shite house ?? shut your pie hole luv unless you know wtf you are talking about..and the famous man hater Karen Bedford..Don’t bang on here about anyone working the system you bitch…you wrote the book on that.
gonk
@ Bec
I actually think you sound like a genuine lady who wants only whats fair and feel for you..you don’t take sides and seem to know how unfair this agency is.try talking to your ex and coming to some kinda arrangement and keep this vile agency out of the loop.
DONT please listen to gobby shites like “on” who an obvious man hating bitch and the famous Karen Bedford who will only alienate you and brainwash you into becoming as evil and vindictive her herself.
good luck
gonk