Struggling to survive on my salary

August 28, 2012

My wife left our home 2 years ago and only keeps our daughters age 10 and 3 overnight once or twice a week. She doesnt contribute financially to anything – mortgage, girls clothing or food costs etc and says I am lucky she is not reporting me to the CSA as she is the primary carer.

She claims benefits and tax credits where I am just about able to survive on my salary and am struggling to keep up mortgage payments (There is no equity on our house) and i am very scared she does carry out this threat as my parents have to help me financially already. My mother and I do most of the child care as I work shifts and I am not sure who to turn to for help or advice. My wife also informs me that the CSA could take up to £200 a month from my salary which would mean that I could not afford to keep the house on.

Any pointers you could give me would be great. We have not legally separated and she does not want to go to a solicitor as she thinks they would just charge us a lot of money. I look forward to any advice you can offer. thanks and regards.


  • jay. says:

    You say your ex is the main carer, hate to point it out to you, but if your having your children more than the ex, then you are the main carer, my advice is that you have to get onto tax credits and cb and get it in your name and paid to you, if the kids reside in the home with you then get a residency order in place first, if you do all of this, then its your right to get the csa onto her!!! Your entitled to some free legal advice, don’t let her hold the cards if your doing the hard work. Good luck

  • Sally says:

    Your ex (like a lot of other PWCs’) is emotionally blackmailing you and playing the system….. i’d suggest you get legal advice but most of all i’d try to get child benefit changed into your name as you are quite clearly the main carer. Child benefit is the ace card in all of this because the person who gets child benefit gets everything else going… working tax credits (if working and earning a low wage), child tax credits AND child maintenance (from the NRP)….

    As Jay says, as soon as you have the residency order in place, claim child maintenance from her but most of all…. DO NOT TELL HER WHAT YOU PLAN TO DO…. play your cards close to your chest….

    Good luck!

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