Sperm donor chased by the CSA

November 26, 2011

About 2 years ago I put a profile on a sperm donation site. I was 38 years old and had resigned to the fact that I would never have children out of a normal relationship. I thought at least this way my genes would live on, even if I did not know the child and I may be able to help someone in need. A 35 year old girl got in touch, who seemed nice claiming that she wanted a child but not a relationship.

After a few attempts she became pregnant and had a baby boy on 07/02/2011. She claimed that my life would not be affected by this but I could have a relationship with the boy (Wade). She has now gone back on her word and made a claim against me through the CSA.

With debts and bills this is crippling me and it looks like I may have to move abroad to get out of this, before I was happy with a good job, now my life is a mess.

Comments

9 Responses to “Sperm donor chased by the CSA”

  1. bob on November 26th, 2011 6:25 pm

    Never trust a woman who is like that. Why do people not think of this. It’s basic common sense

  2. janet on November 27th, 2011 6:30 pm

    Another dead beat dad LOL

  3. joanne on November 27th, 2011 9:01 pm

    Why didn’t you go to a fertility clinic and had it legal through hfea? What you did was silly and just shows how some women can be. Were you the only guy this woman used, are you 100% sure baby is yours? If the boy is yours then your legally responsible for the child with regards to cm payments, sorry. Have you had contact with the woman since?? Poor child is all I can say.

  4. Mick on November 28th, 2011 3:41 am

    Theres an old saying that springs to mind in this case. Be careful what you wish for. You might just get it! And you certainly did didnt you! What on earth were you thinking? A guy your age ought to know better and be a bit more worldly wise. Still, that doesnt change the fact that the deed is done and you are now royally screwed for the next 18 or so years. The only hope of salvation you got now buddy is to get a DNA test done and pray the child isnt yours. Or plan B if the child is yours and you are not willing to pay, Emigrate! I agree with Joanne, poor child!

  5. Alf Garnet on November 28th, 2011 12:41 pm

    I had to read this twice to get it in my head that you were actually sleeping with someone to donate your sperm. That’s called fathering a child. Joanne has it spot on… you could have donated your sperm into a little pot and had a doctor implant it in her. Then that’s all done legally and above board with no comeback.

    I’m really feeling sorry for you – and Janet is wrong about you being a dead beat I think. Honestly though, if the child is yours, then it’s yours. DNA test time I suppose.

    I’m just a little worried for the poor kid. You say that you’ve had some kind of relationship with Wade. If it is your child, then keep that up! You might not have acted like the brightest in the bunch (sorry, you earned that!) but you *can* do something right for the boy. Make sure that she doesn’t limit access and get a court order to back you up if needs be.

    Good luck.

  6. Chris on November 28th, 2011 6:16 pm

    I must add that I did not sleep with this girl it was truely ai, no physical contact. I agree that the child is the most important thing and I have got a court order to see him but this is proving problematic, She has done this before with a doctor no less. I do know that I can’t keep up with these payments though and part of the point I was making is that payments should be judged on circumstance and ability to pay.

  7. joanne on November 28th, 2011 11:45 pm

    Are you sure the boy is yours? If I were you I would want to be 100% before any money handed over, this woman sounds very devious to me, and I’m a woman saying it! If you wanted no strings why apply for contact, are you not setting yourself up for a fall? You can’t have your cake and eat it, a child has been created, with that is responsibility, children are not accessories they are people too and you should of done some research but what’s done is done!

  8. joanne on November 28th, 2011 11:55 pm

    Can the sperm donation site offer you any advice, did you sign a form to take any responsibility away from you if a child is born using your donation? Sorry for the questions, its just me and my partner going through ivf, with me donating eggs and I signed a form taking any legal parental etc etc away from me as I am the donor so no come backs, but legal through the grew. It was very nice what you did if the woman wanted a child, but with me going through this fertility route and meeting many woman wanting a child, this woman doesn’t fit the norm nor been properly profiled.

  9. joanne on November 28th, 2011 11:55 pm

    *hfea, phone on auto spell sorry

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