Should my ex be paying me money now he has the house?

May 11, 2012

Hi I’m trying to get maintenance sorted with my ex-husband we have kept things very amicable since we split in 2009 because we both consider our four boys to be the most important factor now and its vital that they remain happy and unaffected as much as possible from our split.

Myself and Ian Brogden are in the process of a divorce the decree Nisi is through but I am struggling to get the Absolute until the financials are sorted which he seems to be dragging his heels with. When my husband and I split he left the marital home and moved back in to his parents house leaving me and the children living in the ex marital home, he continued to pay the mortgage. I eventually met a new partner who eventually moved in with me and my children bringing along a child of his own. Myself and my new partner obviously took over paying for the mortgage at this point.

I encouraged my ex to find a place of his own because his parents house was 2bedroom and very small which ment the children were not getting quality time with their dad and could not stay over which they were begining to get quite upset and stressed about. My ex said he would struggle on his full time wage as a postman to rent a property on his own so I said that if it would help me and my partner would fully support the boys without his financial input until he could get settled in to a place of his own. Once Ian found a place and settled in he told me just to tell him when I needed anything for the boys and he would go halves with the cost. This arrangement went on for about 6/7months but it was only ever the incidentals like new shoes or club fees or lunch money for school that I ever asked for. I’ve now asked for a more set arrangement of a weekly/monthly maintenance payment.

This I feel would save me from having to go cap in hand for help but also helps with the unforeseen costs that come from four boys. For example the washing machine been on twice a day the electric the gas. All used twice as much.

I don’t want to feel like I am been unfair or ask or request for anything more than I am entitled too. I’ve been trying to sort out the maintenance through the divorce solicitor but as I have mentioned its taking a long time to get my ex to send off documentation of earnings etc.. and that’s if it gets sent off at all. Ian has said that until the solicitor has come back with any decision which he is unable to do without the evidence requested (catch 22 situation) then he will pay £46.00 per week the first payment of which he paid in to the bank account yesterday 4/5/2012 as you can clearly see this figure works out at just over £10 per child per week. My new partner has been extremely supportive of the boys and has willingly paid out for whatever they need but I feel it is not his responsibility to have to fully financially support them. My ex husband has moved back in to the ex marital home on the 14th April 2012 with his new partner and myself, my partner and the children have moved out in to rented accommodation as we have struggled with space for a family of 7. My ex intends to take me off the mortgage and put the house solely in his name which is fine, I do not have a problem with this as me and the boys benefited from having a roof kept over our heads when we split.

My ex has the boys from 3.10pm every Monday, Wednesday and Friday till 6.30pm then has them sleep over every other weekend from approx 3pm Saturday ( when he finishes work) till 6.30pm Sunday.

I hope I have provided enough information for you to possibly help and advice me where to go from here.

Many thanks Rachel


  • chall says:


    If you do manage to get child support arranged by the court, after a year has lapsed either you or your ex could apply to the CSA.

    It maybe be easier to use the CSA from the off. Your divorce will not hinder them.

    At present on CS2, your 4 children will equate to 25% of your ex’s total income, less shared care (overnight stays) and any other reductions which may be relevant.

    chall ~ afairercsaforall

  • Terry says:

    I would try to talk to your ex one more time. Explain that if nothing is sorted then you will contact the CSA.
    I tried to make an arrangment qwith my ex. I offered her £60 a week for 1 child. She refused and and due to me being on the CS1 rules i now have to pay 30% of my net income so £100 a week.
    The CSA are not a good organisation to be involved with. They mess up over claims with the parent with care and also try and force non resident parents into poverty. My morgage is £115 a week and i also have to pay the £100 a week to the CSA so £215 vanishes before i even touch it.
    They dont care.

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