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Even if u do she can still stop u seein them!! And once ur attached to them there there for the childs life
Before the csa start raping your pay for mediation and then get her in court to confirm your access
Ask how much she wants first because if she’s willing to do it amicably, do it by DD just make sure its noted what these payments are for. If you go thru the CSA you find you will pay an extra 20% of what they think your ex should have just for the privilege of using this service. I wish you luck with your kids and hope you get to see them very soon
Never contact child abuse agency
Forget the Csa, they will only cause you more trouble than it’s worth. However, if you have just split, do go on ghee Csa website and see what you should be paying her in maintenance for the children. Then give her a chequbwhen you collect the children. Never give cash, unless you have a book detailing each payment and she signs for it. Much more important, what are you doing about seeing your children? How old are they? Is your name on their birth certificates? Are they at school? Are you known at the school? Are the teachers used to you coming to the school and dropping off and/or collecting your children. Try to get contact going before you start with the Courts, but do start the ball rolling by taking advice as to how the Courts work etc and the application you need to make. And, get yourself down to a Families Need Fathers, or similar, meeting and get advice. But the key thing is to get seeing your children before you go to Court. Can your/her parents intervene and assist in sorting things out? Have you thought about a holiday, you and the children? Again, your parents may be able to assist. Good luck.
Do not use csa work out a reasonable payment do not do cash or cheque do a standing order a and put reference as child support. Csa are a nightmare
Ie overpay in arrears there calculations are off the wall plus wage arrest for no real reasons
no,no,no
Unfortunately, with all the best intentions in the world that you may have to do the right thing by your chidlren, you are already at a major disadvantage. First your a father, second, the use of your children as weapons by the mother will only increase over time as she gets more demanding and greedy unless you are in the Incredibly small minority of having a reasonable ex to deal with, and 3rd the CSA who only act in the best interests of mothers, not the children. Pay your ex privately through the bank making sure the transaction is listed as maintenance, do not EVER use the CSA by choice. Go through court to get a court order (they will break it of course and becasue they’re mothers they’ll get away with it). Just be a good Dad when you see your chidlren, make sure you buy / make cards / gifts for mothers day, christmas, birthdays even if she does not do the same. Never put the mum down when the children are in your care, whatever you may personally feel about her. When the children are older they will figure out that Dad was never the person that the mother will try and brainwash the kids into believing he is / was.
Wise words Jason and well spelt out. Although not all mothers are like this, but a f%#$¥ing awful lot of them are, greedy money grabbing bitches that just see their kids as a source of income.
DO NOT GO ANYWHERE NEAR THE CSA. They will rape and bleed you dry for years, ghost arrears may rear its ugly head,even if you have paid fully each month.
They will bullshit you if you ever have to contact them. They will ALWAYS take the pwc( usually the mother) side because they are the one that’s opened the gates of hell. They will discourage you from seeing the kids and encourage the mother to see you never see the kids,because then the mother gets max CM.
Remember…the CSA does not give a shit about the children..it’s all about the money
Gonk
Brilliant advice above. Worth repeating: if you pay by directly cheque, make sure that you get a signed receipt pre-printed by you or (better yet) handwritten by her, clearly stating “Child maintenance” and the name of your child / children. I’m being haunted by a ghost arrears of about £1k from more than 6 years ago. No help from bank records – just a cheque number and a debit from my account – and if the ex’s memory suddenly seems to be on the blink, you’ll need original, watertight evidence. Why it’s so lopsided I don’t know, but its really upsetting to hear the life-ruining cockups made by the CSA. Some of the individual folk who work there are incredibly helpful, but you get the feeling they won’t last long… If the CSA was an animal, it would have been put down years ago.