She refuses a DNA test so where would I stand with the CSA?

July 18, 2013

Back a few years I was in a relationship with someone, who I was more than happy with, but she didn’t seem so happy with me. Several times she would brag about sleeping around behind my back, as she was so free to get away with it because we lived 50 miles apart (though not exactly long distance).

Inevitably, we split up. One day I had a call out of the blue, asking to meet. It was then she told me she was pregnant, despite her going for regular pill injections (which I found out via a member of her own family that she wasn’t going because she wanted a baby).

Despite the deciet I was up for it, but all the bragging about sleeping around was niggling away. This coupled with her own mother telling me the baby wasn’t mine made me doubt the baby would be mine. So, I requested a dna test, which she refused. She also refused to tell me the due date and how far gone she was. This made me even more sceptical.

Anyway, the baby was born, and given the timing of the birth, this would have meant she caught in the last few days of our relationship. Then, thanks to her mother yet again, I found out the baby was more than a month premature, so there was no chance the baby could be mine.

Being me though, I wanted to know the truth, and once again asked for a DNA test. Once again, she refused, so I walked away. Was I wrong to do this? I have watched the child from afar, and had bumped into them both, although the mother didn’t recognise me due to significant changes in my appearance. As much as I would love for the child to be mine, all the evidence weighs against that, and the mother had previously refused to provide any evidence to say I am the father. Nonetheless, this plays on my mind many years later.

So, what has this to do with CSA? Well, where would i stand if she were to try claim CSA? I am still in contact with some members of her family, who still say the child isn’t mine, but i know full well she denies that i’ve ever asked for dna tests to everyone, and says i just walked away without a care. I would not put it past her to try claim csa at some point.


  • Adrian says:

    Simple. You are allowed a DNA test should the CSA get involved. If I not mistaken you would have to pay for the test and probably start paying towards the child. However if the DNA says you not the father you would get the money back. That’s how it used to work anyway. It may have changed. In my eyes. No DNA test = no maintenance. In either case I really wouldn’t worry about it if she is refusing. It’s clear from what you have said she don’t know who the father is. Are you on the birth certificate ?

  • C Hall says:

    I do not think you stand a chance where the CSA are concerned. They will make you pay regardless of whether you got a DNA or not. They are not bothered about anything legal they will just wear you down and rob you. Till there is nothing left of you. I am a woman and I think women like your ex are a absolute insult to the other decent women there are out there. Trust me though on this the CSA are a law unto themselves they wreck lives and the NRP in their eyes do not deserve a life in any circumstances I know I have been on receiving end of them. Nightmare bunch of heartless vermin the lot of them.

  • Sally says:

    Hi There – Adrian is spot on… you should get a DNA test done for sure… it will allow you to decide what your next step should be and it will take a weight off your mind…

    I hope for your sake you are not the father…… the CSA are the most corrupt organisation on the planet and they are supported by our government….

  • Carrie says:

    That is spot-on Sally.The more I look into all these cases the more in becomes evident..
    I think though that the CSA cant get involved until the prospective nrp fills out a MEF (maintenance enquiry form) & sends it back to them.As my husband filled out one when him & his ex wife separated (we didn’t hear from them in 8 years !), & although we had made continuous monthly payments direct to the pwc from our bank (easily traceable) these didn’t count as pwc wouldn’t admit it was for maintenance! Do they not think she might have said something to them sooner if she wasn’t getting any money from us !! Totally unjust to treat us like that! The Government allows this to happen .. The nrp’s who run away from their responsibility don’t even bother to fill out their forms..they get away with it …the CSA have to get the money from somewhere…people like us ..paying twice!!
    Meanwhile they are taking the so called ‘arrears; at such a high rate .we can hardly afford to live & pay our bills. We don’t smoke ,drink or go out but we would like to eat !!! Our son together is hardly having his needs met …well we are ..we are going with out new things to make sure he doesn’t lose out but where is the ‘Child support ‘consideration to our son ?

  • Lisa says:

    @ Carrie, The csa can get involved regardless of MEF hun, they have there own internal rules that means do as you please and rob as many men blind as possible, the whole system is corrupt and a sham, the women who put the posts up here know they are going to get ripped apart for being greedy, i dont know why they bother, CSA have no shame, they dont care whose family or life they tear apart, they just care for getting the bonus and hitting those targets set by Ian dickhead Smith

  • Sally says:

    @ Carrie – I honestly don’t know what i’d do in your situation… I hope that at some point in the future the government and CSA are held accountable for what they are doing to decent families…

    I think it is absolutely appalling that the CSA took his ex’s word over yours when you provided evidence that he had paid for his kids…. :'(

  • topper says:

    If she goes to the CSA then as has been stated above, you will be asked to fill in a MEF (Maintenance Enquiry Form) this may be done over the ‘phone, so if you ever get a call from some-one claiming to be the DWP, it will for sure be the CSA.
    At this stage you will need to state that you believe that you are NOT the biological father and that you are disputing parentage.
    Insist upon a DNA test, maintenance will not be due to be paid until the test is done and the results are known. If the test comes back to show that you are not the father then there is no cost for the test and no maintenance to pay.
    If the tests come back and you are proven to be the father, then you may have to pay the test fee and maintenance will be backdated to the original date of enquiry so arrears will have accrued.
    My suggestion will be, go for the test, in the meantime put some money to one side just in case. The maintenance due for the one child will be 15% of your NET pay, unless you are on JSA, ESA or your NET pay is less that £200 per week, unless you have other children in your household that you are responsible for.

  • >