Self employed ex claiming benefits

November 29, 2010

I seperated from my childrens father 7 years ago – Dec 2003 (divorced 5 1/2 years ago) we have 3 children. He was self employed (DJ and Carpenter) and now blatantly works while claiming benefits.

He stopped offically working in April 2004 after receiving a decision from the CSA that he pay me IRO £400 a month in maintenance – saying it was a ‘rip off’ – and has since been ‘on benefits’ or ‘living off his mother’.

I supported the children emotionaly and financialy single handed (ie: working full-time, studying part-time, paying for/running a household). He dd not care if the house got reposessed or if the children had what they needed on a day to day basis – maybe he was too busy playing golf (during the day) and drinking (during the night) to even care. Anyway I had to to sell the family home and buy a shared-ownership property 10 miles away.

I did not rely on the CSA to get the maintenance for the children because they apparently only deal with the information that is handed to them on a plate – therefore the self employed and benefit cheats have the upper hand when it comes to supporting their own children.

In January 2007, due to my daughter being assaulted by her father (fact as he has it is on his criminal record), I had a complete breakdown – the WHOLE situation burned me out. After 6 months being not able to work, losing income I could ill afford, I got back on my feet but was in a horrid financial position and the CSA was still unable to get any financial support from my childrens father.

My childrens’ father lives with his mother, the family are very well off and live in a 7 bedroom farm house.

As a result of my breakdown I had to share the housework with my teenage children to enable me to return to work and in turn support them. My son objected and made the decision to live with his ‘dad’ – ultimately his grandma, as she is the person who actually brings him up.
18 months later one of my daughters went to live at her grandmas house too. I, in turn needed to sell the ‘single parent’ family home as I could no longer afford to pay the mortgage. I am now in a privately rented 2 bedroom flat.

I have pride and I have, all but 3 years – when the children were very young, always worked. I am a sitting duck for the CSA as I am on PAYE and therefore maintenance is thiers for the taking. Don’t get me wrong, it is only right that I support my children – as i ALWAYS have. But surely this is a two way thing and it has to be fair???? What about the money that is owed to me from my ongoing maintenance application??
The CSA say I have been ‘compliant’ with the maintenance I must pay but it seems that he doesnt need to comply with the CSA, the TAX OFFICE and the BENEFITS AGENCY rules. (Oh, and yes I have taken the appropriate steps to inform the appropriate bodies – none of these people seem to share information so it’s a ‘government cheats paradise’ and it seems that they want me to do their investigations for them F.O.C. – and is this really worth my sanity and well being??)

The things that keep be going, and sane, are:

  1. I have pride
  2. I will be personally better off regardless of me paying maintenance for my children – and rightly I should do so.
  3. My chldren are adults for a lot longer than they are children and therefore will form their own judgements and respect.
  4. They see the truth behind their fathers life, they see the fraudulent money he earns – this money is passed over the bar to pay for the beer he consumes while they are looked after by their grandma and the days spent playing golf.

What has really shocked me, considering the debt our country is in, is that last year the law changed so that benefit claimants receive 100% of the maintenance paid through the CSA. Where is the incentive to work??? and what example does this give to our children????



  • Lee Hughes says:

    I find it difficult to comment on a lot of cases because I am only ever hearing one side of the story. If he point blank refuses to contribute anything then fair enough the state should hit him. What would be interesting to know is what did he pay PRIOR to receiving a CSA assessment and did he have a choice in not dealing with the CSA?

  • Phil Lee says:

    two sides to every story – shame we can't get his perspective…

  • Su Sephton says:

    But as always…only one truth…

  • Paula Halsey says:

    I know how you feel my ex is self employed running his own skip hire company, he is also a benefit cheat which the csa are well aware of. I took the evidence to Hastings had an interview with Robin Lulham and recorded the whole lot.You are correct that there is no communication between the different agencys and as long as you are employed the Csa will jump through hoops to destroy you. I too have been both a PWC and NRP and both cases treated differently. I have no problem with providing for my child if it is done fairly. Unfortunately the Csa dont know the meaning if fair. Self employed benefit cheats clearly can get away with it.

  • Tracy Jackson says:

    You need to sort your attitude out…tosser!!!

  • Natasha Blackwell says:

    Lee I don't think your question is relevant! CSA or no CSA he's working and taking benefits?! There's only so many times you can bang your tambourine for Fathers for Justice.

  • Natasha Blackwell says:

    Can't believe you lot, so one sided! Fuck this website. It's full of women bashing tossers who seem to think that it's alright not to cough up for their child. This group has even allowed addresses and names to be published. It's disgusting.

  • Pauline Brown says:

    That is the wrong attitude Mark and Phil, if a man was to come with a story, we show compassion so try and hear and read compassionately to all. As now, both of you sound bitter and complete misogynists!

  • Lorraine Moore says:

    I agree.I cannot abide this. I cannot tolerate it. I will fight for both the PWC who cannot get any maintenance through this shoddy agency, and the NRP who is being hounded even though they pay.I honestly thought we had some common ground …here….

  • Karen Bedford says:

    Lorraine I totally agree and Im a PWC and have an ex self exployed earning a fortune, would pay what he wants for his kids not what he should/can and has a great lifestyle, while our children suffer, and I work and always have too, both parents should the children as they both were responsible for them and idiots who say good on you not to pay, are disgraceful and to me, thats child abuse!

  • Lisa Hunter says:

    try flagging CHILD ABUSE up with the NSPCC, they don't recognise it! x

  • Lee Hughes says:

    Lee I don't think your question is relevant! CSA or no CSA he's working and taking benefits?! There's only so many times you can bang your tambourine for Fathers for Justice.NatashaVery relevant, I'm to ASSUME that what I am reading is FACT when most people will bend the facts to portray themselves in a better light.Let's put aside the fact he may be on benefits because we don't know the exact circumstances behind the story as we only have one side. It is written that he stopped working officially after receiving an assessment off the CSA so my questions are perfectly valid.As for your comments regarding F4J, I know little about them so I'm not sure if that was directed at me. I do know that organisations far from the centre wouldn't need to exist if the system started from a more even position. This in both in terms of maintenance and access/custody.That after all is the reason that I'm interested, the CHILDREN'S interests come first, not the mother or the father!

  • Lee Hughes says:

    Lorraine,I'm in agreement with you on this. The interests of the child are paramount. That is not what the PWC or NRP consider to be in the child's best interests, since this could be wildly different from the other parties!

  • Lee Hughes says:

    Natasha, Regarding your second post above, there is people on here with deeply held views on both sides. If you don't like their views then either challenge them or block the people involved so you don't need to view them!However, that assumes that YOUR views are moderate as otherwise you''ll be treated in the same way!Lee

  • Kevin Cottrell says:

    "I will be personally better off regardless of me paying maintenance for my children – and rightly I should do so". Yes rightly so but how can you be better off with the CSA (scum) involved if you are now the NRP, how can you live and pay your bills cause i couldn't FACT.I would like her advice on how i can be better off paying them and then i'll take any job so i can pay my (my children's mortgage cause it's for them) mortgage and bills and maintenance.

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