Private arrangement with ex until she told CSA I hadn’t paid for two years

January 21, 2013

My oldest daughter is 17 now, I split with her mother when she was 2 and not long after landed a decent job in a car factory and paid her £420 a month (Csa deduction from earnings) for nearly the whole time I worked there but my then present partner got pregnant with my youngest daughter and as this was after 2003 it meant that everything would assesed under the new rules of the CSA.

My oldest girls mum and i agreed to come out of the CSA and I would give her £200 a month direct which we did for about 18 months until the redundancy’s at work came up and she got wind of the payment I would receive.

She contacted the csa and told them I hadnt paid for nearly 2 years and the first I heard of it was when I got a bill from them saying I owed just short of £10,000 and my attachment of earnings was being increased to over £600 a month just for my oldest daughter as the CSA didnt even know of my youngest. I proved her a liar as I had statements proving I had been paying money to her. We once again went back to direct pay for £200 a month which is about what she would have had under the new assesment.

In 2010, 6 years after I was made redundant and we had been direct pay all that time and had used the redundancy as a deposit for a mortgage etc, I got a letter of the CSA saying that My oldest girls mum had contacted them and they had reopened the old case. I gave them all the details straight away about my new much lower paid job the fact i had shared care of my youngest daughter whose mother (I had split with because of all the financial difficulties my oldest girls mum had caused) and that I had a mortgage on a flat now that cost twice as much as the squalid bedsit I had before. After 3 months they finally got back to me and said the situatiion didn’t warrant a change and due to arrears the attachment of earning was over £600 a month.

Obviously I contacted them and said how can that be when I have shared care of my youngest, a mortgage and lower wage and they told me then after 3 months after I informed them about my youngest daughter that they did not include her as they couldnt take my word that I had shared care of her. I had to get my youngest girls mum to put in a claim against me which took months to reasess andin that time I went to the Citizens advice and even they were shocked they couldnt do anything about this as I wasnt even being left enough to pay my mortgage and bills let alone the legal requirement of me having £89 a month living costs( they took the full £630 a month all this time) when they had finally assesed things they agreed that I was paying too much but the law states that my oldest girls mum had to take a gradual drop in payments over 5 years and as my youngest daughter was now included they even tried to put the payment up. At this point I was nearly an extra £10,000 in debt as every month I was borrowing on Credit cards to pay the mortgage and the cost of my kids and car etc had lead to loans etc.

After nearly 18 months of all Bob Ainsworth the MP finally got involved and my paymenats have now come down to £250 a month for both girls but I am in that much debt now I have been advised to hand the keys back on my flat and go bankrupt, I can hardly afford to eat and I have creditors chasing me, The CSA and my first partners greed really did destroy my life and I am facing the flat being reposessed now and losing my flat which means losing be able to have my children that I worship and have always been there for.


  • chall says:


    What an awful situation you are in.

    Was your ex claiming benefits when you ‘agreed to come out of the CSA and I would give her £200 a month direct’ and what method of payment should you have been using for the CSA?

    Have the CSA always had enough/correct info to make a proper assessment for liability?


  • j says:

    If you and your ex agreed not to use the csa for a period then she must also have informed them, especially as you previously had a DEO in place.

    It was previously the case that an assesment only started when the pwc made a claim so I don’t quite understand how there can be ‘arrears’.

    What is the evidence you have to show the payments you had made in the time when the csa were not involved?

    Not sure I’m understanding your situation correctly but those points I mention might ‘trigger’ something from another contributor so good luck.

  • GMF says:

    My ex has just contacted the CSA despite the fact that i have been paying way over the odds for the past 7 years. One thing that the CSA were very clear on was that they are only interested in looking forward and won’t enforce back payment adjustments either up or down.
    My ex also appears to be claiming that i haven’t been paying and as such i am considering a private action for libel/slander against her. These greedy women think that that they can do what they want with impunity. don’t just sit there and let it happen. Pay what the CSA tell you to (as that is a legal reuirement) and take external legal action to address the lies.
    You are not on your own.

  • Carrie says:

    Would that work taking out a private action for Libel/Slander ? Would it be very expensive ,we are struggling with paying the arrears as it is!We are in a similar position regarding the pwc saying we haven’t paid but we have proof of every payment !The CSA are believing her .She knows she had a private arrangement with us she ‘s not telling the truth but CSA believe her ? What else can we do ?

  • stuart says:

    Typical CSA fail to do their jobs from day one and then want it all back when you have not budgeted for it, CSA ruin lives and the government let them do it. Shocking in this day and age.

  • Steve says:

    I am the original poster and this is an update to the situation.
    Because I was at risk of losing the flat which would mean the ability to have my youngest daughter, my youngest daughters mum agreed to go direct pay and to not worry about paying her until I was back on my feet a bit more( she is decent and knows I will and always have been the best father I can). This was back in October 2012 that she contacted them and for months I was told they were still working out the adjustments to the payments every time I phoned them after the full £250 was taken every month but my youngests girl mum received no money. In february or so she told me she was going to contact the csa and tell them she wanted the money again as she lost patience over it taking so long, I thought this was the case and didnt think anything more of the CSA taking the full £250 every month. it came to light in april that she was still not receiving money off the CSA so I contacted them to see what was going on they admitted they had made a mistake and the whole £250 was being paid to my oldest girls mum since November 2012. I was told they would stop taking money off me until the overpayment to my oldest girls mum was repaid. In may they took the full £250 so I phoned the CSA and had to explain everything again and was told I would be contacted back 24hrs as an urgent call back, the phone call was not returned and I have been told this the countless times I have phoned up since and had to explain it all again and I have been given a different story every time from they were still taking the full amount as there might be arrears on the case to them telling me after there were no arrears when I wanted to know dates and amounts of arrears and they were unable to give me an answer to again last week when I was told there was no arrears and I would get a phone call back within 24hrs again about paying me back the overpayment of my oldest daughters mum getting my youngest daughters money for the past 6 months. My youngest daughters mum has understandably gone ballistic over the fact my oldest daghters mum who has had so much off me has been getting her money and told the csa she wants the money off me again. I phoned them today to see if they had sorted this out yet as my payday is approaching and i was told they are working out a new attachment of earnings because of the £34000 (not a typo thirty four thousand pounds) in arrears I owe to my oldest girls mum from 2004 to 2010 when I was paying her £200 a month direct, this was rectified in 2010 when the MP got involved and I had a payment back from the CSA for the overpayment to my oldest girls mum then. I have bank statements showing I never missed a payment all that time which answers one of the questions asked to me and in answering another the arrears they claimed back then were for the amount owed on top of the direct payments i proved i made for all them years. Ironic isnt it? they are now saying she received nothing from 2004 to 2010. I have letters dated from 2010 saying they over paid my oldest girls mum and another giving the break down of what it will be in payments (£37 a week to my oldest girls mum and £21 a week to my youngest girls mum) which has been taken be DEO ever since they paid me back the overpayment in 2010. I am now on IVA agreement which I was only able to get on by exagerrating a little to make it sound like i had more disposable income, all the other finance places I spoke to said I would not be able to afford an IVA and should go bankrupt and hand my keys back to the mortgage company. I have been seriously depressed over all this and put on Fluoxetine by my doctor but the extra 10 a month for the prescription was crippling me so i stopped taking them months ago. I am totally at rock bottom and due to yet another cock up by the CSA it looks like I am going to lose everything including the ability to have my daughter which makes life not worth living. I have not bought a single item of clothing in over three years, I’m in pain but cant afford to go to the dentist and I am now at the point where I am trying to live on a £2 morrisons meal a day during the week when I dont have my daughter because of the debt they put me in the last time they messed up. I am dreading the upcoming DEO amount they say as I know I lose everything next pay day. I have phoned the MP involved last time but his assistant that dealt with it last time is on holiday and I need to speak to him apparently as he has my notes from before.

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