Paying for a child me ex dosen’t know is mine or not

May 8, 2011

I was married on July 99 and 6 months later my wife told me she was expecting our first child, then I got a call from a male colleague of hers saying her was sleeping with her and the child he was carrying was mabey his, my wife denied this, then later that evening admitted it, i should have walked away then, but as a decent man i stayed with her and prepared for the birth. Our marrige was a aham with her having constant affairs and with her hitting me when ever i tried to stand up for myself.

I eventually left her on Jan uary 2002 after 16 months of being a father to the child, near then end of my marrige my wife would sometimes bring up during arguments that I am not the real dad.

I went to visit the chils after we seperated to take her out for the day, and when I brought her home later my ex wife decided that my acess had changed and that my mum dad and brother were to have no access and that my access was to be supervised by her or her mother.

I told her she has no legal right to do this I was named on birth cert and married between conception and birth, so i knew i had legal rights, but my ex decided that I may not be the father after all and said she would not let her daughter out with me unless she was there.

I saw a solicitor and i decided to have a DNA test done, my ex agreed as long as I pay for it, which I did, then she refused, she then said she will go for a DNA if I gave her the house, which I did because I was desperate to end this, again she refused.

Then i get a call from the CSA asking me to pay for my daughter, I informed the CSA about the story and they gave her 28 days to provide DNA, she came up with a lot of excuses, I gave my samples she kept coming up with silly reasons not to give samples, then the CSA took £242 from my wages, my ex called me and says “you are not getting your fuxxxn DNA now”, and I have been trying ever since.

Between 2002 and 2004 I probably paid around £3000 and between 2009 and 2001 I paid £2500, but she says she has recieved nothing, now the CSA are taking me to court for my arrears even though they just told me my monthly payments are £420, maintenance including arrears till 2018, but now they want it all in a lump sum, as I have no assets and live with my parents, I am really worried. The CSA are a gloryfied call centre with staff on bonus I bet. Good will come to those in the end.


  • joanne says:

    Speak to your mp, if she refuses a DNA then the case with the csa should close as this is their legislation…I would go back and see a solicitor and demand she has it done, poor child is all I can say.

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