Paying all we can yet not enough for ex

September 25, 2012

My partner currently pays CSA for a child he never is allowed to see. His ex moved him to brighton because she got a job there, but wont even give my partner her address to send a birthday card or anything. His ex told him he had 6 months to get a job or the CSA would be involved. (at the time he was on JSA due to having an operation because he had Perthes disease in his hip, so needed a hip replacement) She got the CSA involved and they took £5 a week from his benefits. When he got a job, he told the CSA and his ex, and they said its ok, we will adjust your payments.

It took them 6 months to work out the calculations, by which time they claimed he owed almost £2000 in arrears. So they said you have to pay that off over 10 months, as well as the usual payment. At one point, he was paying out almost £400 a month. Because he had started work, we were having to pay full rent and full council tax. As i was not working, he said he would pay it, and we use the child tax credits to pay the electric and the child benefit to eat.

After paying CSA rent and council tax he was left with £23 for the month.And yet his ex wanted more, and the CSA tried for more.One month, infact last month, we had enough of not being able to eat every day (currently my partner eats dinner only 5 times a week-only because I told him he has to as his job is manual, and I try to get by on 4 dinners a week.

No breakfast or lunch)so anyway, we decided we would get some food in so we could eat dinner every day and have breakfast too. (a luxury in our life at the moment) and to do this we had to not pay the CSA. This month we have gone back to the suffering and hunger in order to pay double to make up for the last payment we missed.

Now they say we owe them arrears of £380, even though we only missed a payment of £132! They dont take into account that we have to pay rent and council tax, which amounts to £778, then theres water gas and electric (which we are behind on, so have to pay the standard amount and some off the arrears)which gobbles up all our money, and we are having to use child tax credits to get my daughter to school and to eat.

We are living on £2 a day for 3 people, and I can tell you, after 3 weeks of eating just toast for dinner its not funny. My partners ex gets money from her job, working credit for the job centre, child tax credits, child benenfit, maintenance payments and her rent and council tax is paid, she also gets vouchers for school stuff. what makes me laugh with this is my partner has to pay for his kid so its not living in poverty, but by doing so, my partner, me and my daughter has to live below the poverty line in order to make this bitch and her brat king and queen of their castle.

All because of the CSA wanting to please mums. Well hello, im a mum too CSA! why dont you bloody help me instead of taking it out of my daughters mouth to put it into someone else mouth!!!!


  • jay. says:

    See your mp, have the csa put you and your children in with the assessment? They didn’t with us, which made his payments way over the top!! And making you pay off arrears within 2 years is crap, its a guildline not a rule. They are only allowed to take 40% of earnings, which in my opinion is still too much, especially if the debt isn’t going anywhere….its forcing nrps into self employment and on benefits.

  • chall says:

    Quote fay; ‘my partner, me and my daughter’

    Is your partner your daughters father?

    If not, does your child’s father pay maintenance for your daughter?

    Does your partner receive a discount prior to his child support liability being calculated for the relevant child (your child) living in his household?
    Quote fay; ‘We are living on £2 a day for 3 people’

    Does your household claim all the benefits it may be entitled to?

    chall ~ afairercsaforall

  • Fay Crofton says:

    Helo Jay, have tried MP and got told to speak to a councillor about it but she said she cant help. Its getting to my partner to the point where hes considering packing in his job and being what he alls a benefit bum… but he feels bad because of other tax payers supporting him… hes proud you see.

    And Chall, my partner is not he father of my daughter no, my daughters father left when she was less than a year old and moved off to johannsberg of all places to persue his career (it was go karting)
    We have been onto and they say we are not entitled to help from the council tax, and out of our £155 rent each week the council will pay £35 which is a help at least, but if mine or my partners wages go up because of the odd over time then they suspend the financial help they give us and then say we are not entitled to it… its a massive loop of us getting a bit of hope, followed by it being shattered….

  • Sally says:

    Hi Fay

    Surely you must be entitled to working tax credit or some other help! It is absolutely rediculous that the 3 of you have to scrimp and scrape to get by… i’m not sure of any facts but this website might help you…

    Good luck!

  • chall says:


    Amounts you will be entitled to for benefits and tax credits will depend on your incomings. I have no idea of your households total incomes & outgoings, but It’s seems your in a unfortunate cleft stick.
    I assume IF your daughter’s father financially contributed towards her upkeep, you, your partner and your daughter’s situation would be improved.

    Have you considered applying for Child Maintenance through a Reciprocal Enforcement of Maintenance Order?
    South Africa (Johannesburg) is a member state, more info can be found on the link below.

    It may also be an idea to visit the Citizens Advice Bureau and see if they can suggest any additional help in your local area.

    chall ~ afairercsaforall

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